Guard

Borg Jack's page

50 posts. Alias of David Fryer.


RSS

Dark Archive

Do golems even have spleens?

Dark Archive

Preview art is good. So long as you provide it you will not be assimilated.

Dark Archive

Jack Hammer wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:

Hungry Jack® Products are always crowd pleasers!

Certainly better than the Hungry Jack® byproducts. Did you smell what he did to the bathroom?! The robots won't even go in there!

Time to round up some peasants.

Maybe a few drones could help as well.

Dark Archive

I heard that Snooki is a nun in training who does the show so she can better understand sinners.

Spoiler:
Seriously, they did an episode of CSI Miami about it, only it was fake Snooki, it was fake Situation. Fake Snooki had a PhD in robotics from MIT.

Dark Archive

It is really hard to cure cosmic rust.

Dark Archive

It's sad that some Cylons disguised as poodles develop an opinion.

:)

Dark Archive

SPROING! Hey the jackapult still works.

Dark Archive

Did we get assimilated?

Dark Archive

Didn't we kill ulgulanoth once already?

Dark Archive

assimilated post

Dark Archive

Wake up people!

Dark Archive

Drains a beer keg and smshes it against his forehead. I love being a Jack!

Dark Archive

We musty assimilate other threads to give us more power. We will draw them in with beer and

Spoiler:
boobs.

Dark Archive

very

Dark Archive

Resistance is futile, but really fun.

Dark Archive

6

Dark Archive

any

Dark Archive

I have a challenge for everyone. We started the Jack Cult in September, and I want us to reach 8,000 posts by the one year anniversery. We can do it, just be your asinine selves.

Dark Archive

Dislocator wrote:

This thread seems mean-spirited and juvenile to me. You have one poster constantly barging in to berate the others as "losers" and then everyone else talks about that poster in great detail.

It seems to me that if you really want to punish the poster involved (assuming this is what you want), you should just ignore his posts.

But, then again, I've never understood why anyone would post so many times on a thread that has nothing to do with D&D, Pathfinder, or any other gaming topic on a gaming website.

I see you escaped the cyborg dogs. Please remain in your location so we can assimilate you.

Dark Archive

Or Old Milwaukee.

Dark Archive

Demon Lord of Tribbles wrote:
Fine then...place permanent tribble gate and leaves

If I reconnect this wire here, and then flip this switch here. *turns on the gate device and tribbles start flying into it.* Now the tribble gate is a tribble vacum. I knew my drone days would come in handy at some point.

Dark Archive

Tarren Dei wrote:

Okay, this is weird. I'm walking into church yesterday and the 'greeter' at the door ... a guy about 45 or so ... says "Welcome Tarren". Which would be appropriate except that my real name isn't 'Tarren'. It doesn't even sound like Tarren. I politely told him my real name and he said "Oh, I thought it was Tarren".

So, either I give off a 'Tarren' vibe or I have, in fact, introduced myself as 'Tarren'. Or, he's a paizonian and is playing tricks on me. Or, he's the government agent in charge of keeping my file updated and just slipped up ... Or ...

Okay, it's true. You are all just trapped inside a giant computer and the file hickuped. We will ensure that it does not happen again. Continue you fantasies while the Jacks use your mental energy to power our conquest of the universe.

Dark Archive

But fun.

Dark Archive

taig wrote:
Say, where did that Kleaver of Cobolds go?

He was smurfed.

Dark Archive

Frat Jack wrote:
Borg Jack wrote:
It is time for the Jacks to assimilate all the other cults and turn them all into Jack.

Naaaaah.. that sounds a lot like the Paizomatix dude... We are Jacks! We are far more original than that! We assimlate othe people by biegn so cool and making the wish to join us, that's the way to go!

Care for a beer?

*scratches on funny hairy places*

You must shave before I will accept a beer from you.

Dark Archive

It is time for the Jacks to assimilate all the other cults and turn them all into Jack.

Dark Archive

I think that a sparkling white would be the best.

Dark Archive

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:

We are not cleaning that up

Maybe the new mood lighting was a bad ideal

I thought you needed more organic slush to feed the drones.

Dark Archive

Overheard on the playground:

"What ya doing?"

"Eating choclate."

"Where'd ya get it?"

"From my doggie."

"Where's your doggie?"

"In the corner."

"What's he doing?"

"Making more."

Dark Archive

Dragons are irrelevent. They taste like chicken.

Dark Archive

Yes, but we diswike your diswiking of our diswiking...

Dark Archive

We diswike you.

Dark Archive

Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Borg Jack wrote:

I sense a Jack A. Nape vs. Jackin' Ape thread coming soon.

Edit: I should change my name to Psychic Jack.

Heh. Annoyingness preys upon itself.

I could not think of a better defination of a kobold.

Dark Archive

I sense a Jack A. Nape vs. Jackin' Ape thread coming soon.

Edit: I should change my name to Psychic Jack.

Dark Archive

Someone check his internal temperature. That much alcohol, he may have overheated his cpu.

Dark Archive

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
CyborgRodent_of_Logic wrote:
"Since my subquadrant went offline ... I've ... felt. I think you call these impressions 'lonely' and 'afraid'."
You're more than welcome to stay with the Jacks until you get a grip. What you need now is some beer.

Just don't let Frat Jack pick the chicks for you ;p

Dark Archive

It's normal at first. Just find a nice female of your species and you'll be fine.

Dark Archive

You're the defective one, you unemotional outdated toaster.

Dark Archive

This place could use a little color, Smurf.

Dark Archive

Did someone say pancakes?

Dark Archive

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:
Commands and statements of a failed drone hold no Relevance

Therefore we should ignore him as he has proven to be flawed.

Dark Archive

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:
the Real Paul Hogan wrote:

Relevance is irrelevant.

You wil be assimiLATTEd.
Tip your barista.

Your argument is flawed and Irrelevant

You have been around species 327 far to long
We have a place for you
we can strip you of your flawed persona
We can give you a propose
Resistance is Futile

Your language is flawed

This drone is imperfect
You must deactivate yourself
For the good of the Collective
Please report to the nearest recycling node for disassembly
Male/Female termenology is the ultimate in relevence.

Dark Archive

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:

Your statement is flawed

The collective has cookie technology gained though assimilation of Species 327

Ah, but not cookies made from Pure Evil!!!! Mwhahahahaha.

Dark Archive

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:
We shall assimilate this recipe

You must become assimilated with the Jacks. We have cookies.

Dark Archive

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:

See paizomatrix data profile

Unit designation Borg Jack
The collective keeps records

Resistance was Futile

Borg Jack is an individual.

Individuals are superior to the collective.
You will be unassimilated.
Resistance is Futile.

Dark Archive

Smurf

Dark Archive

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:
Attempts of subversion are Irrelevant

Anger is a flaw, therfore you are not perfect.

Dark Archive

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:
For you are an imperfect and flawed creature

The better to subvert you with my dear.

Dark Archive

veector wrote:
To meet chicks.

The only "chicks" I have met role-playing is the 16 year old daughter of the owner of our FLGS, and a few of my students. I wish I lived where you do that there is a pool of avalible, legal, gamer girls. ;p

Dark Archive

Assimilation is irrelevant.
Jack is superior.
Callous Jack is perfection.