. . . He uses potent divination magic to find and take your parking spot before you even knew you wanted it.
(Grrrrrrrr.)
He forces elves and dwarves to touch each other in unnatural ways!
. . . shot bambi's mom.
Raised her. . .
shot her again, cast soul bind and wished her dead.
...puts the "laughter" in "slaughter"
...really does eat children for breakfast.
. . . runs his undead fingernails across the chalkboard.
...went back in time and invented castration..
...forces you to cut down the tallest tree in the forest...wiiiitthhh a HERRING!
...starts controversial threads about sex/politics/religion/you-name-it.
...employs mimes for public entertainment.
...wears all black, but with a bright yellow smiley button on his breast.
...is Richard's mentor (from Lookingforgroup)
...grosses out ogres
...laughs at the final scene in the Futurama episode "Jurassic Bark"
...gets an alignment warning from his DM for mere genocide.
...goes around asking beggers whether they can break a platinum
...sneaks around people's houses turning on their alarm clocks on holidays.
...lives on puppies.
... He implants the words to the song "The Song that Never Ends" into the minds of sentient creatures walking by...
NOOoooooooooooooooUsed ancient eldritch powers to open a gate to transport....
Jar Jar Binks to Golarion.
"JAR JAR : Oyi, mooie-mooie! I luv yous!"
... clones crosswiredmind.
(Seriously, the thread is over. The Jarjar thing can't be topped. But lets try to get some runners-up)
...uses the necronomicon for random encounters.
...projects the ending of every book or movie into people's heads.
He erased every picture of Allison Stokes from the internet.
He's also the one that made the Dragonlance chronicles movie low-budget.
...has the It's A Small World song playing in his lair as background muzak
... wrote season 2 of Heroes.
... his real name is Bert.
... Made StarWars Episodes 1-3 as well as Matrix 2-3.