The Whispering Tyrant is soooo evil, he...


Lost Omens Campaign Setting General Discussion

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Sovereign Court

...spits in your ear when he whispers. It's a speech impediment.


Squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle

Wants to ressurect B.A.D.D. (Bothered About Dungeons and Dragons)

Is the driving force behind easy listening stations

Scarab Sages

....drives real slow in the passing lane.
....never uses his turn signal.
....sneaks into houses at night to hide people's keys.
....never washes his hands after using the bathroom.

Scarab Sages

... wrote, produced, and directed Highlander 2.
... defenestrates nuns through stained glass windows.
... rapes the horses and rides off on the women.
... has stacks of green paper in his red right hand?
... likes to pitch washers... but uses babyheads instead of washers.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16

... only writes in passive sentences.

(And...)

... uses multiple adverbs in each one.

... executes courtiers for not wearing chartreuse.


Sir_Wulf wrote:


... executes courtiers for not wearing chartreuse.

- and he never tells them which one beforehand.

... marries pretty young princesses to farm implements against their will. (Think you got it tough, little princess that is married to an old, bitter man? That princess over there is married to a rusty old grain elevator!)

... hacks into people's message boards accounts and switches around its and it's; their, they're, and there, as well as your and you're.

... enforces encumbrance rules

... always puts paladins into moral dilemmas where they will always lose their powers.

... tells "your momma" jokes to the kids in an orphanage.

... sneaks up on sleeping people to shout "DON'T WAKE UP!!" into their ears. (which, as we all know, leads to massive cranial bleeding from the sheer paradox)

... replaces gherkins with cucumbers on hamburgers

... put nekkid women into violent computer games to corrupt innocent little children.


... set up us the bomb.


...actual had to father himself as no mere mortal could sire something so evil. Also had sever oedipal issues.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16

... teaches teenagers to chat in 733tspeak.

... asked out the girl you wanted to go to Prom with.

... left her an emotional basket case, so when she finally did go out with you, you spent the evening talking about what a jerk he was.

... convinced the network that Firefly needed to be replaced with more reality TV.

... switched your homepage picture for the one with the bad hair.

Dark Archive

...ate the 3rd edition worg and that weird thing that is supposed to be the worg as previewed on the D&D website came out!


Best. Thread. Ever.

Dark Archive

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber
Mike McArtor wrote:
...wears bunny slippers... by shoving his feet into the mouths of real bunnies.

Wears bunny slippers ... but uses another route

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Companion, Pawns, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber

...plays 4th edition and likes it.

That said.. has anyone bought these encounters and how are they?

Liberty's Edge

...cancelled Dragon and Dungeon magazines.


...doesn't have room for Jell-O.


wrote, directed, and produced Dungeons & Dragons(1983) and Dungeons & Dragons(2000). He also used his powers to convinve TSR to hire Rose Estes.

Mike

Paizo Employee Managing Developer

...describes in lurid detail how your parents conceived you.

Dark Archive Contributor

tribeof1 wrote:
Mike McArtor wrote:
...wears bunny slippers... by shoving his feet into the mouths of real bunnies.
Wears bunny slippers ... but uses another route

*shudder*


... is the DM.


...gave me the idea to castrate a paladin and hand the, you know, over to the main villain to use for scrying while whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

But now he never calls back.

Liberty's Edge

... is a chronic close-talker.

The Exchange

....looks like a republican but talks like a democrat.

Sovereign Court

...is played by David Warner in the movie adaptation.

"No one created me! I am Evil. Evil existed long before good. I made myself. I cannot be unmade. *I* am all powerful!" -Time Bandits (1981)


Rookseye wrote:

...ate the 3rd edition worg and that weird thing that is supposed to be the worg as previewed on the D&D website came out!

WHAT IN THE LORDS NAME IS THAT THING- IT LOOKS LIKE AN OSQUIP-DOG!

Liberty's Edge

David Jackson 60 wrote:
Rookseye wrote:

...ate the 3rd edition worg and that weird thing that is supposed to be the worg as previewed on the D&D website came out!

WHAT IN THE LORDS NAME IS THAT THING- IT LOOKS LIKE AN OSQUIP-DOG!

Or a Runehound. Not a worg anyway.

Dark Archive

... has EVERYBODY wear a red shirt before beaming to the planet's surface.

Scarab Sages

....always spells "rogue" as "rouge".


Mothman wrote:
... is a chronic close-talker.

And low-talker. And high-talker.

Rookseye wrote:

...ate the 3rd edition worg and that weird thing that is supposed to be the worg as previewed on the D&D website came out!

What the flying ****? "Wizards - making D&D different because we can"

Sir_Wulf wrote:
... teaches teenagers to chat in 733tspeak.

Teetspeak? Sounds naughty.

... shot the deputy.

... framed Roger Rabbit.

... gives Nick Logue the creeps.

... Has created a spell powered by love. The BM-way.

... let the dog's out

... came up with SETI@home.

Scarab Sages

KaeYoss wrote:


... gives Nick Logue the creeps.

Egads! He's worse than we thought!!


Aberzombie wrote:
....always spells "rogue" as "rouge".

HEY!!!


KaeYoss wrote:
... Made StarWars Episodes 1-3 as well as Matrix 2-3.

...but his MAGNUM OPUS was several sequels to Highlander.


... is Paris Hilton's publicity agent, and responsible for bringing Paris into our lives on a daily basis.

The Exchange

Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

...taught Uwe Boll everything he knew...

...brought deep-fried twinkies and diet coke to the Weight Watchers meeting...

...introduced Dr. Phil to Oprah...

Daigle wrote:
...describes in lurid detail how your parents conceived you.

...with pictures, even...

Dark Archive

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
KaeYoss wrote:
Rookseye wrote:
...ate the 3rd edition worg and that weird thing that is supposed to be the worg as previewed on the D&D website came out!
What the flying ****? "Wizards - making D&D different because we can"

...gave Wizards and/or Hasbro the idea to move 4e away from everything that WotC didn't directly invent so they can make more money off it with licenses.

...is the actual ghost writer of 4e.

...writes the code for Diebold' voting machines.


He invented the joke, "Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead prostitutes?"


David Jackson 60 wrote:
He invented the joke, "Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead prostitutes?"

Damn you, what is the difference?

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Bill Lumberg wrote:

He invented the joke, "Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead prostitutes?"

Damn you, what is the difference?

I've got this one.

I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

-Tarlane

Scarab Sages

Tarlane wrote:

I've got this one.

I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

-Tarlane

Similar in spirit to the opening joke at the serial killer convention in Sandman: The Doll's House. Paraphrased-

A 911 operator get a call from a woman in hysterics.
"Help! Send the police! I'm being reaped!" the woman cries.
"Don't you mean raped?" asks the 911 operator.
"No," says the woman "He's using a sythe!"

Spoiler:
Laugh you b@st@rds! Laugh or so help me I'll...


Tarlane wrote:
Bill Lumberg wrote:

He invented the joke, "Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead prostitutes?"

Damn you, what is the difference?

I've got this one.

I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

-Tarlane

Thank you so much. I will inflict this one on my friends.

Scarab Sages

....consulted on the Joel Schumacher Batman Movies.


... took the ram back out of the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong


...eats jello pudding pops made from only the best parts of Bill Cosby


David Jackson 60 wrote:
He invented the joke, "Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead prostitutes?"

Reminds me of the "what's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of manure?" one?

Spoiler:
To find out, sit down in each.

Or "What's the difference between a Motorcicle?" (the more horsepower it has, the vroom)

Back to old double-you-tee:

... he cheers for the bad guys. On the news.

... he frames people for petty crimes.

Sovereign Court

... he disturbs and unsettles ooze creatures.

... he created a clothes donation and distribution charity for nymphs.

... he has to demand services from demons because they have learned to avoid pacts with him. Similarly, Johnny Cochran won't represent him.


... in 1993 he devised the formula of how rare cards were distributed in Magic the Gathering boosters. When creepy old geeks cheated little kids out of good cards, he laughed and laughed.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

... convinced Lucas to add Ewoks to RotJ.


Callous Jack wrote:
... convinced Lucas to add Ewoks to RotJ.

Oh yeah, and the f##%er's gonna pay for that one someday. Grrrr.


... he started the rumor about spider eggs being in bubble gum, and when the frevor died down, and people consigned to a mere urban myth, he went actually did it.


...hired Mothers Against D&D to campaign in the 1980s against the game that created him in the 2000s.


Joshua J. Frost wrote:
...hired Mothers Against D&D to campaign in the 1980s against the game that created him in the 2000s.

LOL!!

...tries to get all his friends to play a game called "Mazes & Monsters".

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