Kyr suggested I post my item here.
Everchanging Heart
Appearing as anything from a lump of stone, crystal or actual beating heart, this fist sized flaw in the fabric of nature changes shape from one moment to the next. It connects to an otherworldly plane where unfathomable entities dwell and physical laws change seemingly at whim. The changing form of reality in this unnatural realm leaks via the heart, violating the laws of nature in the surrounding area.
Wherever the heart goes, the area around it is treated as though a cloak of chaos spell had been cast with the heart as the center.
A nonchaotic character who possesses an everchanging heart gains one negative level. Although this level never results in actual level loss, it remains as long as the heart is in the character’s possession and cannot be overcome in any way (including restoration spells).
Strong abjuration [chaotic]; CL 15th; Craft Wondrous Item, cloak of chaos, creator must be chaotic; Price 200,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
his view was that something with just permanent cloak of chaos was boring but I made it from the point of view of an idea for a tear in reality and then had to apply an effect. Cloak of Chaos, seen as a differenty reality leaking out, fit best.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Kyr suggested I post my item here.
Everchanging Heart
Cloak of chaos is a really powerful effect. It doesn't sit well with me for something just to radiate it continuously for no cost. I'd be much happier if it was a dispel law charge and likewise discharged for a short time by contact with lawful effects.
The Far Realm isn't chaotic, though that's probably the Prime alignment that best approximates its nature. It isn't anything that we can understand.
The description makes this sound like an artifact, if it's even considered a magic item at all. How, exactly, does a less than epic cleric create something like this? It should have miracle as a prerequisite.
Well as a plane of law would be everything perfect, in its place, and organised, I see the Far realm as pure Chaos where things change seemingly at whim. For me the battle between law and chaos is more interesting than good vs evil. If I had gone on to further rounds I had in mind 3 creatures of pure LN each of which hunts down deviations from pure law. The forces of good that defile law by putting individuals needs before the law, the forces of evil that put themselves before the law, and the forces of chaos that reject order.
Now you mention it perhaps a protection from law might have made more sense. I guess I got carried away with the notion of it polluting nature. It's interesting to see comments that make sense but I was unable to realise. You can be so involved in forming your idea you fail to see what an objective viewpoint might realise.
You have a point. Is it actually an item?. I realised afterwards that it was more, as I mentioned, a force defiling nature. It was however the idea I had from the start and being interested in it didn't come up with another idea. At least not one I was ready to concentrate on.
So I'll lay my head on the block as well. Feel free to swing the axe.
This is an item I always wanted my nasty rogues to have ...Whisper Stone
Designer's notes:
I must admit I have a liking for magical sling stones and this one does something fun. Word usage is a bit odd, though I'm not one to talk.
I hope you didn't post the designer's notes. The judges really hated that in one of the other items.
Matter of factly, I did. For I was under the impression that the test was primarily designed to check whether the designers know the rules (inside out) first and foremost, as well as showing some kind of invention. We do find a number of items in d20/D&D books lacking the correct calculation, especially when it comes to items featuring several abilities and thus requiring special attention when it comes to creation and prizing. As I said, I didn't mean to show off with the skills here, just creating the item for my rogues.
NB: One of the most ingenious items ever created, IMHO, were the Moonsilver Shards in the Arms & Equipment Guide, i.e. "darts" which turned into a magic missile when thrown.
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Hey, let's join the fun...
Lightning Coils
I like this item and will include it in my campaign with some tweaks. You need to specify how long the lightning fist effect lasts. I'd recommend 1 use per 10 points absorbed or something to that effect. I'd also add some runes or glyphs stamped into the copper coils to the physical description. Alternately, as the ends are fanged serpents, have the rods patterned with scales with a tiny glyphs stamped on each scale. This is a cosmetic change, but makes the rods seem more arcane than plain copper.
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Kyr suggested I post my item here.
Everchanging Heart
This item has a few issues, both from the contest perspective and from a design perspective. From the contest perspective, this is a spell in a can. A powerfully described spell in a can, but a spell in a can nonetheless.
The physical description is really strong (and I like it very much), but makes this seem more of an artifact than a wondrous item. As suggested elsewhere, adding miracle to the prereq's would match the power to the description.
You should state the area of effect rather than rely on the cross-reference. As a DM, I'd find this frustrating.
Finally, this is a plot hook item. You can base a campaign upon this item being in the hands of villains tainting reality for their own purposes. This is very cool, but way beyond the scope of a wondrous item.
Hey, let's join the fun...
Lightning Coils
This item appears to be a pair of copper coils, each fashioned from a copper rod about the thickness of a finger, with one end of each coil fashioned into the likeness of a fanged serpent.
Worn on the forearms, the coils provide the wearer with energy resistance 10 against electricity.
In addition, some of the absorbed energy is stored and may be utilised in one of two ways. When the coils have absorbed 10 or more points of damage, the wearer’s unarmed melee attacks do an additional 1d6 points of electrical damage on a successful hit. Secondly, the wearer may completely discharge the stored energy in the form of a lightning bolt. Any creature struck takes 2d6 points of damage per 10 points of energy stored (maximum 6d6) unless it makes a DC14 Reflex save.
If the wearer can avoid all electrical damage, such as through the use of a rogue’s evasion class ability, the coils will not charge.
Faint abjuration and evocation; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item, lightning bolt, resist energy; Price: 18,000 gp, 2 lb.
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Definitely not superstar material but I couldn't get the image of a dude with lightning fists out of my head. Thanks Big Trouble in Little China, I love those Storm Lords.Cheers
MarkPS. Merry Christmas!
Wow, my item was almost exactly the same:
Aura Evocation; CL 10th
Slot Amulet; Price
Description
This amulet consists of a section of used lightning rod wrapped in copper wire. When worn the amulet provides the wearer with resistance to electricity 10. Upon command electricity will arc from the amulet to the point of impact of an Unarmed Strike or slam attack, dealing an extra 1d6 electrical damage (as per the Shocking trait); 3 times per day for a maximum of 10 rounds each usage. Once per day as a standard action, the wearer may internalize the electrical power of the amulet, accelerating their movements and allowing the wearer to use haste for ten rounds. Doing this depletes the amulet, rendering it inert for 24 hours when the haste effect ends (cannot use either power during that time, although the resistance still applies). The wear may use the shocking ability while using the haste ability but when the haste ends the shocking does as well.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, lightning bolt, haste, resist elements; Cost
I left out the costing info because I couldn't find the version that had it. I also gave the amulet the ability to launch a small amount of lightning per day (5d6)but some of my proof readers said it might be too much so I took it out. And I completely had the guy from Big Trouble in Little China in my head when I thought about it.
Here's mine:
Headband of Momentary Defiance
Spoiler:
This strip of white silk is marked with crimson runes. It activates automatically whenever its wearer fails a saving throw against a hostile mind-affecting effect. The wearer gains an additional, immediate saving throw with the same bonus and against the same DC as the original, failed saving throw. If he succeeds on this second saving throw, the mind-affecting effect is suppressed (but not removed) for a number of rounds equal to his Charisma bonus (minimum 1 round). The time during which the suppression effect is active counts against the duration of the mind-affecting effect. The suppression effect ends if the wearer fails a saving throw against another hostile mind-affecting effect.The headband is expended after it has been used once, its runes fading to dull red. However, it may be restored by soaking it in a vial of holy water. After 8 hours, the headband absorbs the holy water and its runes turn crimson again.
These items were first developed by a race of extraplanar humanoids to assist them in their battles against the psionic overlords who had previously enslaved them.
Faint abjuration; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, protection from evil; Price 500 gp.
I wonder if it got nixed because the price was too low, or perhaps for the allusion to the illithid/gith conflict.
Its basically protection from evil but not as powerful.
Actually I see quite a bit of potential in this. Certainly the kind of item that the fighter might like. This can circumvent the mage and cleric casting this spell before every combat just to avoid this as well and thats a good thing.
This mechanic of soaking the item in holy water is really rather odd however. I don't recall anything like that normally and, I feel, addendum mechanics like this are really more appropreate for the potent stuff. If you have to recharge you Staff of Devil Emulation and Pit Fiend binding on the souls of sacrificed Demons well thats one thing. But having to carry around a container of holy water so I can soak my headband after a hard days work is pushing it.
I did not like the Illithid/Gith allusion either.
I play straight 3.5 SRD DnD, but I'm accustomed to free-form and diceless systems. The comment that my item is 'deus ex machina' takes me aback, because (to me) all magic items are deus ex machina. Every last one of them is a plot device.
I'm glad my comments have given you some food for thought, but I think you've slightly got the wrong end of the wand. I wasn't worried about your item being a plot device so much as it being an anti-plot device. If I want to write (or adapt) and adventure in which the dramatic revelation of the murderer's identity comes late on, I'll have to adjust it for a party carrying a lantern of light long lost. This isn't because my players are thoughtless munchkins only interested in maximising their profit margins - in fact, it's for in-character reasons. If you've got that lantern, why on Oerth wouldn't you shine it on the crime scene?
Conversely, I can see the lantern as an excellent plot device for an adventure - but then I'd be inclined for it not to be a wondrous item, rather a magical location tied to the story. Perhaps the chronomancer's laboratory is in a decaying state of temporal flux, providing occasional visual clues to his gruesome fate?
Here is my losing entry..
Helm of Legendary Inspiration
Spoiler:
This golden helm is infused with the myths and lore of a legendary hero. The helm continuously fills the wearer’s subconscious mind with whispers of the epic sagas and visions of heroic deeds, granting a +5 competence bonus to Knowledge (History) checks.Inspired by the helm’s magic to emulate the legendary hero’s martial prowess, twice per day the wearer can act as if he had the Whirlwind Attack feat, even if he does not meet the prerequisites for it.
Additionally, the wearer can invoke the legendary hero’s name to gain the benefits of a heroism spell once per day.
Variant helms based on different legendary heroes sometimes substitute a different feat, such as Great Cleave or Knock-Down, for Whirlwind Attack.
Any evil or chaotic creature that possesses the helm gains one negative level due to the never-ending mental conflict between their conscious mind and the thoughts of honor, justice and responsibility dominating their subconscious mind. Although this level never results in actual level loss, it remains as long as the helm is possessed and cannot be overcome in any way (including restoration spells).
Faint Divination; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, Legend Lore, Heroism; Price 10,600 gp.
I'm guessing it fell into the swiss army knife category of the top of my head.And if anyone is wondering about the pricing, I used the Gloves of Arrow-Snaring as the base.
I like it. I think the abilities mostly fit the theme. I did find some of the wording awkward but I like the item itself.
Portable Portal
Spoiler:This item appears to be an ordinary brass doorknob, with a four inch spike protruding from the back. When pressed against an appropriately-sized inanimate surface, the spike will sink in up to the knob and anchor itself. The material forms into a door (6’tall, 3’ wide, 3” thick, with hp and hardness appropriate to the material) which opens onto a passage to the other side of the surface, or ten feet deep into the surface, whichever occurs first. The door or passage is now permanent. Although the Portable Portal includes no locking mechanism, the door can be locked, braced, or trapped by normal magical or mundane means.Transmutation; CL9th; Craft Wondrous Item; passwall; Price 2,250 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Very inventive.
I like the idea that this makes a permanent door. I think it might be a little overpriced, I'm not sure I'm going to spend 2,250 gp on this when the cleric can cast pass wall or stone shape. But the basic gist is really neat. I'm confused by 'door or passage'. Well which is it? Does this make a door or does it make a passage?
Warpaint of Au’rik
Spoiler:Price: 300 gp per application
Body Slot: -
Caster Level: 5th
Aura: Faint Enchantment
Activation: See Text
Weight: ½ lbThis ashen colored warpaint is usually found in small clay jars – marked with the unwinking eye of Gruumsh.
These magical paints have just recently been introduced in an attempt to counter the boots & cloaks of Elvenkind that have given the Elven people a tactical edge throughout history. First crafted by the orc shaman Au’rik for her barbarian bodyguards, the success of the warpaint has caused it to spread swiftly throughout the entire Orc nation.
Warpaint application requires ten minutes and a Craft: painting skill check of DC:10. When successfully applied, the recipient has eight hours to invoke the magic. Upon command, usually a tribal battle cry (free action), the magic will activate - twisting and distorting the facial features of the recipient creature in dark, demonic ways. For the next 5 minutes the recipient gains a +4 competence bonus on intimidation checks and may attempt to demoralize one opponent per round as a move action, rather than a standard action. The target must be within 30’ and able to see the wearer. A target that succeeds on their level check can no longer be affected again by the same opponent.
Prerequisites: Craft wondrous item, creator must be an orc, powdered elf bone
Cost to Create: 150 gp, 12 XP, 1/3 day
Gruumsh is not part of the SRD. Presumably WOTC intellectual property.
I'm not so fond of the flavour text. It presumes to much about my campaign thats just not so and might not be so for other campaigns.
There is no such thing as Craft Painting, Profession (Artist) would work though I've never seen a character choose to spend skill points on such a thing. The idea that one could need to be an artist to use this is extreme.
I've never seen a requirement regarding the creator in item creation. Certainly not a racial requirement.
The idea that an item would need a material component, never mind one a macabre as powdered elf bone is flawed. No such requirements exist for wondrous items.
Your wrong about your item taking 1/3 of a day to make - it takes 1 day.
All of this said I actually think the item has some interesting potential. The basic idea of a one use item that allows one to try a demoralize check is interesting. Having this stick around for 5 minutes is madness. This is way under priced for that. For 150 gp this should be a one shot deal. One use and then the face paint fades.
Bracelet of Spellbinding
Spoiler:
These bracelets are made from small animal bones inscribed with arcane runes. They were first made by the members of an order of sorcerer druids that wanted to increase the mobility of their animal companions and familiars during combat.The bracelet improves the bond of the wearer with any animal or magical beast that serves as an animal companion, familiar, paladin's mount or any other similar class feature. The wearer must have enough class levels for her companion to gain the share spells special ability.
The Bracelet of Spellbinding enlarges the effective range of the share spells ability to 60 feet instead of the usual 5 feet. This affects both the initial range at which a cast spell can be shared with the bonded creature and the maximum distance the creature can move away from the wearer before the shared spell stops affecting it.
Faint necromancy; CL 8th; Craft Wondrous Item, Spectral Hand, creator must have a familiar, animal companion, paladin's mount or similar class feature; Price 12,000 gp
This is solid enough. Does not really make me sit up and take notice but it does work. I could see a character wanting this.
Quill of Translation
Spoiler:
This common feather automatically translates the spoken language of the last creature touched or the writings of the last document touched. Simply touch the creature or writing with the quill, then dip the tip of the quill into the ink and touch the quill to the paper. The speaker must be within earshot of the quill or the document must be near the quill. The language the quill translates on paper is decided during its creation. The quill can be utilized to dictate while the user paces or multi-tasks.Ink, paper, and a solid flat surface, or their equivalent, must be provided. The quill dips its tip in ink and turns pages without assistance. When either supply of ink or paper is exhausted, the quill stops translating and rests itself next to the ink jar. Once the provisions are resupplied the feather continues translating the spoken language from that point on, but does not remember what elapsed. Document translations continue from where it stopped. Verbal spell components and magical writings cannot be translated.
Faint Divination; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, comprehend languages; Price 1,800 gp.
The fluff is the best part of this entry. but the mechanics are solid as well.
That said once I get past the fluff and concede that the item works as advertised I just can't say that I'm all that excited. If languages are a problem for me in the dungeon we buy scrolls of comprehend languages. I can't see any characters actually buying this.
Delete this sentence, and I'm sold. I would much rather the item created a temporary door that vanished when the user pulled loose the handle again.First of all, i want you to know that I wil be printing this thread and stealing these items for my campagins. They rock! I feel even worse for the judges now, having to ort through all of this stuff.
Below is my own item, I would love to hear any feed back you may have:
Portable Portal
The door or passage is now permanent.
Interesting. I completely disagree. What I thought was cool about this item is that it actually permanently modified the environment. Thats something I've not seen before.
Here's mine. Not flashy, but useful IMO.
Torque of the Ermine
Spoiler:
This silver torque is engraved with stylized, intertwined ermines. When placed around a character's neck the wearer gains the flexibility of a contortionist. The wearer automatically succeeds on any grapple check made to resist a grapple attempt, as well as on grapple checks or Escape Artist checks made to escape a grapple or a pin.Moderate abjuration; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, freedom of movement; Price 8,000 gp.
Another Torque! I had a Torq to and learned that we are supposed to spell it Torc in D&D.
I also don't really follow what the name has to do with what the item does.
Beyond that problem I think this is pretty solid. I like what it grants and could see a character picking this up. What kind of a mage does not want to avoid being picked up by a slavering monstrosity?
Cool, here goes.
This is the item that I posted:
Fangs of the Crescent Moon
Spoiler:
A set of joined Mithral teeth. To use the fangs a person must remove all of their teeth. Anyone wearing these fangs gains +4 Strength, but also has -1 Constitution due to them being in constant (dulled) pain. Undead wearing them instead loose a number of hit points equal to their hit dice. The wearer gains a bite attack as a +3 weapon, with damage based upon their size (MM p296 Table 5-10). If the wearer had a bite attack, the damage increases to the next die above their current damage.
If the fangs are removed, lost teeth cannot be regrown or regenerated in any way. The only way to regrow lost teeth is via a Heal (Harm for undead) or Limited Wish/Wish spell.
A Vampire wearing the fangs gains additional properties. If they successfully inflict any damage with a bite, they gain +5 on their next attempt to grapple the victim of this attack, as long as it is within 1 round. Also, if they are caught in sunlight they don’t get the initial round of disorientation before destruction, they are immediately destroyed.
Moderate Transmutation; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, bull’s strength, greater magic fang; Cost: 73,000gp; Weight 1lb.
I like the basic premise. The idea of fangs that are magic items is cool. I got no problem with this granting +4 to strength, making ones bite into a +3 magic item or increasing the damage dealt by 1 die - though I'm not sure this is how they explain this mechanic in the SRD. I recall this being explained as having ones damage increase by a size category.
I'm less enthused by this teeth ripping exercise. Until you threw that in I could have put this on a beloved animal companion or mount. Now, presuming I'm good, thats out.
I don't much care for the 'if your a vampire' addendum. This inevitably screws up pricing.
So, yeah, the core concept has my attention but the stuff around that core concept is turning me off.
Medallion of Final Words
Spoiler:
This item appears as a circular bronze medallion the size of a large coin, hanging from a fine chain or ribbon.If worn around the neck for a period of 24 hours, the medallion becomes attuned to the wearer. Thereafter, the medallion ‘remembers’ everything spoken by the attuned wearer until it is removed. If worn by another creature for 24 hours, the medallion becomes attuned to the new wearer instead.
Upon the speaking of a command word, the medallion recites the last twenty-five words spoken by the attuned wearer. The medallion speaks with the attuned wearer’s voice. The command word can be used by anyone who knows it, not just the attuned wearer. The command word is often, but not always, engraved onto the medallion.
Such medallions were first used in a vast empire, where military officers posted far from home wore them, in the hope of getting reliable dying messages back. They found further utility amongst nobles of the empire, in naming successors (or assassins) from their deathbed, and amongst spies, who would attempt to steal attuned medallions from political enemies.
Faint illusion and necromancy; CL 2nd; Craft Wondrous Item, magic mouth; Price: 3,500gp
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I see three main issues with this item. Firstly (and perhaps most importantly) its much more of an item that would be used as a plot hook or story device by a DM rather than something that most players would want or use.
Secondly, I had back-story, which seemed to be a bit of a point against in this part of the competition.
Thirdly, despite three proof reads of the finished version, I still managed to miss the fact that I had not deleted the “necromancy” aura (which was a holdover from an additional function in the first draft of the item), until sometime after I had submitted. This probably just goes to show the advantage of having someone else proof-read your work.I'd appreciate any further feedback!
I'd love to give you more feedback but really you have done all the work yourself.
Its a tape recorder, I can't see why a PC would take it - nor can I see why my villain has it. Except in the most extreme circumstances I just can't see anyone having it.
It seems overpriced for what it does but then almost any price is going to seem to much.
Thanks for the input!!
I'm not sure how that would work. Would you mind elaborating?Hmm. I'd also make it tiered at +2, +4, and +6 bonuses.
Make a +2 version that only works if the source has at least 2 ranks in the skill being copied, a +4 version that only works if the source has at least 4 ranks in the skill being copied, and a +6 version that only works if the source has at least 6 ranks in the skill being copied.
The +2 version allows access to most skills as most folks with a skill (or at least know to have a skill) will have at least 2 ranks in it. The +4 and +6 versions allow better skill levels but at the expense of fewer available sources. Doing it this way, the +8 and +10 versions can be included without breaking the game as access to master level NPCs should be rare.
Using the "try it and see if it works" method is probably the best way of doing this. That way the DM does not have to tell the PCs how many ranks an NPC has and it becomes a game of "how far can I push it and still get a result?"
With the rank limits and the WILL save, I like this item.
Thanks much for the feedback, Patrick, I really appreciate it.
Lightning Coils
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Wow, my item was almost exactly the same:
Hey, great minds think alike!
8-)
Hey, let's join the fun...
Lightning Coils
I like this item and will include it in my campaign with some tweaks. You need to specify how long the lightning fist effect lasts. I'd recommend 1 use per 10 points absorbed or something to that effect. I'd also add some runes or glyphs stamped into the copper coils to the physical description. Alternately, as the ends are fanged serpents, have the rods patterned with scales with a tiny glyphs stamped on each scale. This is a cosmetic change, but makes the rods seem more arcane than plain copper.
Word count kind of cramped some of this. I kind of assumed that given the charge-up effect that it was kind of obvious that using the lightning bolt depleted the item for this ability. But in hindsight we all know what happens with common sense and rules-lawyers...
Like the added scale details too, thanks.
Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Great thread, I wish I'd seen it sooner. I'll bite:
Spoiler:
Scarf of SkillsThis dull gray scarf of fine silk can duplicate most skills. As a full-round action, the wearer can cause the scarf to absorb a skill successfully used by a creature within 30 feet.
The scarf can only absorb one skill per day, but once absorbed it is retained until activation via command word. For one hour after activation, any uses of this skill requiring a check are granted a +10 competence bonus. During this time, the wearer is treated as trained in the appropriate skill, even if she had never invested any ranks in it. If 24 hours have passed without activation, the scarf can absorb a new skill, replacing the one previously stored. The scarf can only absorb skills requiring a skill check.
Faint transmutation; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, bear’s endurance, bull’s strength, cat’s grace, eagle’s splendor, fox’s cunning, owl’s wisdom; Price 6,250 gp
Sorry for the delay Basiliv. I like the idea of absorbing skills, but I don't really have a clear picture of how everything fits together. It seems like it should take much more than a full-round action - I imagine that the person giving the ranks in the skill should have to wear the item, and then the skill ranks would be transferred over to the wearor. The activitation also seems odd - it feels like the activation should be the absorption of the skill and then that skill can be used immediately thereafter for a fixed period of time. Also, the way it's set up, Joe Rogue with 1 rank in search could make a successful check to find a coin his buddy the wizard hid. Then the scarf would grant a +10 Search bonus to Joe Rogue. Alternatively, Jane Rogue, who has a +10 to Search, would gain an additional +10 to the check.
Finally, I think the cost is off. An item that gives a bonus to a skill should have a cost equal to the square of the bonus times 1,000 gps, IIRC. That would give this item a price of 100,000 gps. I think an argument that it has a limited number of charges is difficult to make. You could theoretically make 600 skill checks in an hour, and an item with 600 charges per day isn't going to get a reduction in cost.
I think the idea of stealing skills is a good one, I just think it needs to be much lower in scale. One twist that strikes me as interesting is having the item steal skills from someone for a short period of time. That way, you could shut down an opposing rogue attempting to tumble through threat zones with it. An item that causes people to temporarily lose skill ranks offensively seems like a ripe idea.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Sebastian, I really like your Bountiful Sapling, that's one I want for my character. I like that you have to nurture it and stuff. If you carry it around potted it's kind of reminiscent of "the professional".
I got an idea for the sapling, what if you plant the fruit instead of eating it? There could be a chance of growing another sapling? That would be cool. An orange grower friend of mine suggests three years for the first fruits, maybe up to ten years before it's in full production (that is if magic fruit is anything like oranges).
Actually, the inspiration was Waterworld of all things, but the Professional is even better.
I would think growing another sapling would just require the same components as creation of the item itself.
Great thread, I wish I'd seen it sooner. I'll bite:
** spoiler omitted **
Sorry for the delay Basiliv. I like the idea of absorbing skills, but I don't really have a clear picture of how everything fits together. It seems like it should take much more than a full-round action - I imagine that the person giving the ranks in the skill should have to wear the item, and then the skill ranks would be transferred over to the wearor. The activitation also seems odd - it feels like the activation should be the absorption of the skill and then that skill can be used immediately thereafter for a fixed period of time. Also, the way it's set up, Joe Rogue with 1 rank in search could make a successful check to find a coin his buddy the wizard hid. Then the scarf would grant a +10 Search bonus to Joe Rogue. Alternatively, Jane Rogue, who has a +10 to Search, would gain an additional +10 to the check.
Finally, I think the cost is off. An item that gives a bonus to a skill should have a cost equal to the square of the bonus times 1,000 gps, IIRC. That would give...
Thanks Sebastian. Patrick and I discussed that a bit, his take is to scale the bonus. Definitely some food for thought...I might have bitten off more than I could...well, absorb. ;-)
I tried to stear clear of this bookkeeping, but I think the real answer is to grant a bonus equal to the ranks absorbed, and allow those to be divided however the wearer wishes. Patrick said he thought the original skill user should get a save...but I still disagree. You're not preventing them from doing anything or affecting them in any way. I look at it like a detection spell, which allows no save.
In any event, thanks for the feedback, it definitely helps!
Quill of Translation
** spoiler omitted **The fluff is the best part of this entry. but the mechanics are solid as well.
That said once I get past the fluff and concede that the item works as advertised I just can't say that I'm all that excited. If languages are a problem for me in the dungeon we buy scrolls of comprehend languages. I can't see any characters actually buying this.
Thanks for the review. You have good and valid points. I appreciate your time in looking over my item!
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Warpaint of Au’rik** spoiler omitted **
I've never seen a requirement regarding the creator in item creation. Certainly not a racial requirement.
See the belt of dwarvenkind and the elvenkind items.
I agree that it's not necessary to specify elf bones as an ingredient, since the rules already assume that anyone spending the required amount of gold can get someone to go dig some up.
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To be honest I have not had the time to get through half of these now 18 pages. Before we all get busy reading about countries tomorrow I wanted to open my item for critique if any one would care to comment:
Battle Idol
This six-armed statue of a god of war is armed with many swords, axes, pole-arms and other weapons. The statue has several sheaths, hoops, and quivers, but only one is empty.
Placing a masterwork weapon into the empty scabbard and speaking the deity’s name brings the statue to life. It draws the weapon, passing it through a dazzling display of slashes, cuts, parries, lunges and then attacks the owner of the weapon (as a large animated object from the Monster Manual). Once the owner (and only the owner) defeats the statue, it kneels and offers the weapon to its victor. The weapon now has a +1 bonus. This bonus is a gift of the war god and applies only to the owner of the weapon. For all others it remains a masterwork weapon. Churches dedicated to a war god use Battle Idols as a source for donations. The creator of the statue often limits the empty scabbard to accept only the deity’s favored weapon.
Major transmutation; CL 12th, Craft Wondrous Item, magic weapon, animate objects, access to the war domain; Price 14,4000 gp; Weight 600 lb.
Also, if you have not received a critique yet and would like to please let me know what page your item is posted on. So far I agree (or at least concede) with what has been posted, and have nothing new to add, but if you are feeling left out, please say so and I will add what I can.
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Tabard of the Favored Champion
This item appears to be a well-crafted garment of the type often worn by a knight or court herald. It is emblazoned with a coat of arms that likely signifies a noble house or martial order.
Although commonly worn over armor or clothing, the tabard functions as if it were a magical vestment.
The tabard provides its owner with a +4 moral bonus to Intimidate checks as long as it is worn in a manner clearly visible to the target.
Once per encounter the wearer may use a standard action to challenge an opponent with an Intelligence score of 5 or greater to single combat. If the target fails a Will save (DC 12 + the wearer’s Cha modifier) it attempts to attack the wearer for a number of rounds equal to that by which it failed the save. Any hostile action by a third party, however, allows the target to break free of this effect.
Once per day, if the wearer is reduced to -1 to -9 hit points, the tabard automatically casts Cure Moderate Wounds.
Faint enchantment and conjuration; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, Command, Cure Moderate Wounds; Price 12,000 gp; weight 1 lb.
Hmm... What do you think of this item (an infamous coin-item), but one that I believe has a neat twist:
Clairaudient Coins (¡°Gossipy Sisters¡±)
Sold in pairs, these unassuming gold coins look no different from any others a wealthy adventurer might flippantly give to a porter, pay to a merchant, use to bribe a guard, or gift to an official. However, when activated by a command word, one of the paired coins becomes a gift that keeps on giving.
After activation, as long as the coin remains within 640 feet of its sister, the ¡°gifted¡± coin can overhear and surreptitiously transmit conversations for up to six minutes. Single use.
Faint divination; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item; clairaudience/clairvoyance; Price 900 gp; Weight 1 lb.
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Thanks to anyone who reads this. :)
Regarding the Tabard posted above... I'm not an expert on rules, but if that was rejected, perhaps it was because the item was simply too complicated in the execution of the numbers-running. (Also, "morale" was mispelled). It seems like an interesting item though, one that I'd like to use in my games... Though it also seems a mite bit on the expensive side for a simple item.
Perhaps the Intimidate bonus could be knocked down to +2, thus dropping the price and effect to a more reasonable, less "game breakable" quality.
Also, perhaps you should have qualified the object to which "it" refers.
Curaigh, I think your Battle Idol is an interesting item, but I'd never use it because it's simply to expensive.
I don't see how an item that costs 14,000gp can be used as a feasable fund raiser for a church. Who, other than adventurers, has that sort of money in DnD?
If it was possible to lower the Idol's cost to 6,000 gp or something closer to the price of a +1 sword, it might be a neat little item- useful as a novelty in the "bad guys'" hideout, but other than that, I can't see it getting any use by adventurers- though I will admit, it can make for an awesome random encounter... An adventurer finds a statue and has a battle royale with it similar to the tarot card battle with Death. :)
Best wishes!
-LD.
Spoon of Dragons Diet
Change this to "any inanimate non magical material" and drop the damage aspect and you have a solid item.
But I just finished reading The Eyes of the Overworld by Jack Vance and he had a very similar item in it. And he wrote in the 1960's.
I was trying to make it more flavorful, but that would simplify it without taking too much away. Good suggestion.
Heh, dang, seems somebody has thought of everything already. So much for originality.
Thanks for your feedback, Patrick.
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Personal Wizards Assistant
This book has a hard cover but only two pages and a personalized pen. When opened these pages work as a categorized index of all items listed inside the book. The book has five categories, Spells, Scrying, Recipes, Journal and Maps.
Every entry is magically added to the index and automatically ordered by category and alphabet. The wizard touches the entry with the personalized pen and the index disappears to show the touched item inside the book.
For Spells the book works similar to a Blessed Book, every entry is a spell.
For Scrying the first time the wizard inserts a description or drawing of a person or place the book adds this entry for further use. The scrying is shown on the pages.
The owner of the book can enter recipes of any crafting feat. Any written recipe allows the wizard to create the inserted item as if he has the needed crafting feat.
Lastly the wizard can use it as a journal or as an atlas if he draws maps into it.
A PWA has room for 200 entries.
Moderate conjuration, craft wondrous item, secret page, scrying, CL 12th, 75,500 gp
The name sucked and it was an modern item turned into a fantasy item. I was looking for something that gave some more power to wizards. In retrospect I failed, no low level wizard can shell out 75,500 gp. Allthough I'm certain you could give it to a wizard nearing the scrying spell levels.
What also couldn't have helped was that my last sentence said entrees instead of entries.
I should have gone with one of my other items, the Thong of Elven insults which gave speak language elven when worn and allowed the wearer to do taunts in the elven language :p
Diviner's Chalk
I like the flavor, but it seems expensive and I don't quite get the Modify Memory component. I like the item overall.
Cost issue seems to be a consensus, I suppose..
Diviner’s Chalk can be used twenty times before its magic is expended and it crumbles to dust.Moderate Transmutation; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, Clairvoyance, Modify Memory; Price 3,750 gp.
...might have been better, it really is an esoteric item. So would be used infrequently enough that 20 (or even 10) uses would probably last an entire campaign.
At any rate Modify Memory is a component because it lets you treat the subject of a scrying spell as being more familiar. So the chalk alters your memory of the subject accordingly. A weak excuse mayber, but I couldn't find any spell that makes something 'more familiar.'
Thanks for the feedback
Diviner's Oil
This opaque white oil can be used exactly like normal oil except as noted here (see the Equipment section). Each pint of diviner's oil can store a single casting of any of the 'Detect' spells. All casting options are made once by the caster at the time of casting and cannot be changed, though the stored spell can be replaced any number of times before the oil is ignited.
Once lit, the magical flame produces no illumination against normal objects, however even the shadowy illumination produced by burning the diviner's oil causes any object or creature which could have been detected by the stored spell to appear brightly illuminated, revealing it to all who are directly within view. The remaining oil becomes nonmagical once the flame burns out or is snuffed.
Invisible objects and creatures that would otherwise be illuminated by the oil are not directly illuminated, but their location is revealed by a shadowy glow cast around them as long as they remain within 5 feet of a visible surface or creature (such as the floor).
Faint evocation; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item, light; Price 3,000 gp per pint.
See, this is one of the reasons why we dont want to post this stuff. Do you feel better now knowing that? Wouldnt you rather just believe you were rejected for word count? That way you could persist in the false belief that your item was better and less flawed than the final 32. Which it clearly isnt.
I resolutely would not rather believe that I was rejected for any reason other than the true reasons. I have no desire to persist in any false beliefs, whatsoever. I'd like to know the why for possible insights into my strengths and weaknesses as a writer and as a designer, the contest, the judges' personalities and preferences, and everything else that an accurate understanding might provide insights toward.
That's what criticism is good for.
What the heck, I feel like being a leming today and since it seems that everyone else who didn't make the top 32 is posting what they submitted on this thread...
At a local Convention back in October this year I ran a D&D Deuling Tournament (1:1 PvP matches for ECL 12 characters) where a Pixie Rogue character pwnd the competition. This was primarily due to her natural fly speed and "at will" greater invisibility. This fact percolated to the forefront of my brain when I was brainstorming for ideas, resulting in the following "pixie themed" item.
Gossamer Shirt
(ASIDE: I breifly considered making it a gossamer vest instead of a gossamer shirt, though somehow I doubt that would have actually made much of a difference.)
Fashioned of an iridescent gossamer material with veining reminiscent of a dragonfly’s wings, this shirt grants its wearer damage reduction 5/cold iron.
3/day, when the command word is spoken, the wearer becomes the size of a pixie (small) and iridescent pixie wings sprout from his shoulders. The wearer can now fly at a speed of 60 feet (good maneuverability) and use greater invisibility at will. This effect lasts up to 10 minutes or until deactivated but after a use of any duration it cannot be reactivated for a like period of time.
Equipment worn or carried also changes size by the same number of size categories as the wearer. Weapons deal damage according to their new size. Any item that leaves the wearer’s possession (including a projectile or thrown weapon) instantly returns to its normal size so thrown weapons deal normal damage and projectiles deal damage based on the size of the weapon that fired them. Magical properties of items are not modified by this effect.
To craft this item, the caster must obtain a pair of undamaged pixie wings.
Moderate varied; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, enlarge person or reduce person, fly, greater invisibility; Price 125,000 gp.
I compared it to the following SRD items when trying to price it:
cloak of the bat - flight, limited polymorph to bat, short duration of effect
wings of flying - flight, wearer grows wings
robe of eyes - continuous use of several thematically related but distinct effects
:-j(enni)
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Diviner's Oil
I very much like this (it even ties in with my unofficial country in a small way).
The area of effect, using either a bull's eye or standard lantern, is close to that of the original spell although changing a cone to a 30' circle possibly increases the usefulness for some spells. Making the divination visible to others is definitely a boost in power.
It should specify that it only works on divinations that have an area of effect to avoid oddities.
The description of the effects on invisible things is unclear to me, probably because of the contradictory phrase "shadowy glow". Would it be fair to say that the game effect is to identify that there is something detectable in a square, but not to allow viewers to discern its shape or size?
It should specify that it only works on divinations that have an area of effect to avoid oddities.Diviner's Oil
I considered that, and if you read it carefully you may note that it actually uses its own mechanics separate from the spell used to charge it:
...even the shadowy illumination produced by burning the diviner's oil causes any object or creature which could have been detected by the stored spell to appear brightly illuminated...
Thus, it doesn't matter how any of the detect spells function, it illuminates anything the spell could have detected. I wrote it this way specifically to bypass the problem of inheriting different mechanics (especially the concentration mechanics and AoE's) from different spells.
The description of the effects on invisible things is unclear to me, probably because of the contradictory phrase "shadowy glow". Would it be fair to say that the game effect is to identify that there is something detectable in a square, but not to allow viewers to discern its shape or size?
That is the intended effect, yes. I fathered the bastard phrase "shadowy glow" with its mother, "shadowy illumination" from the SRD, changing it only to avoid a third use of a form of 'illuminated' in a single sentence. Perhaps I should have stuck with the technical term and let the prose suffer for clarity. You got it, though.
Part of the awkwardness came from cramming together sentences to save words. My software indicated that I was at 193 at my final draft, but I peaked somewhere around 230 during the writing process.
Thanks for the feedback! I was hoping to hear from one of the actual judges, too (*pokes Clark Peterson with a staff*), but I understand that they're currently a little busy.
A sad story, actually. I went through a few revisions cutting down word count and submitting at the last minute (due to laptop power failure) submitted the wrong version that was clearly too long (~270 words). I totally could have cut out the whole first stat block area and even cut down the discription by saying "see this ability in the SRD". I actually got a email saying I made it into the next round, then an email immediately after that said I was disqualified. This really wasn't that bad since 1) I read the newer email first 2) I've never written any gaming material of any kind before (I've only even DM'd a couple modules), 3) Finals are next week so I would have been owned for time, and finally 4) My best country ideas involved undead, constructs, or the Terrasque.
Maw of Urgathoa
Price: 14,000 gp
Body Slot: Face
Caster Level: 9th
Aura: Moderate: (DC 19) transmutation
Activation: see text
Weight: --
This vile mask is made from red knotted wood and covered in teeth which protrude in all directions. The slots for the eyes and mouth vary wildly from any face imaginable.
Upon donning the mask it immediately sinks into the face. The mask deforms the face to match the slots of the mask and causes the wearer's mouth to grow dramatically, appearing to unhinge and filling with dozens of needle-like teeth, gaining a bite attack which deals 1d6 damage and treated as primary attack. Wearer is immune to ingested poisons and gains a +4 profane bonus to intimidate.
Using the primary feature (functioning 3/day) the wearer must be grappling the target, and make a grapple check as if to pin. The target is then “swallowed” as the wearer's mouth opens around the target are sucked in. They then take 6 acid, 1d6+6 bludgeoning damage each round. The target can escape by using a light slashing or piercing weapon, dealing 20 points of damage to the “gullet” (AC 12). If they do, the wearer takes that damage and the target bursts from the wearer's torso making the Maw unusable for 5 rounds. If the target dies the body is expelled and the wearer gains the benefit of a death knell spell. If the Maw is removed or disabled (dispel magic, etc) any target swallowed is immediately expelled with no effect.
Prerequisites: Craft Wonderous Item, giant vermin or black tentacles
Cost to Create: 7000 gp, 140 XP, 14 days.
Eldritch- that's a pretty amazing item there, and really useful.
Matrissa- I understand that your item is titled a shirt and not titled as armor, and I'm not perhaps the best expert on rules, but wouldn't that be more classified as a type of armor than as a wondrous item? I can't recall any wondrous items that are shirts. Other than that, it seems interesting enough, but another one of the "swiss-army-knives" items.
All Else- I made a few detailed comments on a few people's items just now and earlier... What does everyone think of my Clairaudient Coins, as detailed above? Useful? Not? Thanks!
-LD
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Matrissa- I understand that your item is titled a shirt and not titled as armor, and I'm not perhaps the best expert on rules, but wouldn't that be more classified as a type of armor than as a wondrous item? I can't recall any wondrous items that are shirts. Other than that, it seems interesting enough, but another one of the "swiss-army-knives" items.
I don't have my books here, but there are SRD wondrous items that consist of items of clothing, such as vestments and (I think) a tabard or something. Since it doesn't grant an armor bonus, though it does give DR, I think it sneaks in as a wondrous item.
Aren't pixies Tiny? Even if they aren't, making the wearer Tiny would be a more interesting game effect.
I think the effects are reasonably focused: it gives you the abilities of a pixie.