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so my supposed girlfriend who hasnt wanted to do anything much the last 20 days and who has been acting standoffish and wierd tells me today that we are not together anymore and I should see other people about an hour ago; now i dont know if this is a test or true or what; but the wierd thing is that I just got asked out on a date by someone I just met about 10 minutes ago and they dont know each other or anything; but man, is my life wierd.
Life is strange dude. Sometimes you just gotta roll with it.
darn, forgot what I was gonna say.....oh yeah, the team working on the Conan Age of Hybernia morph has revamped the game; is supposed to come out in March; they are putting a whole lot of work into it; am very jazzed to give it a try.
One of our cats does that. She kills mice and then eats all of them except for the heads which she leaves staring up at you on the floor in placs that you're likley to step in the early morning.
Growing up in Hawaii we have geckos everywhere (including in your house which is supposed to be good luck and also good for eating the plentiful mosquitoes.) We'd adopted an outside stray, Chaos, who would stalk and kill the geckos outside that he could find, leaving their headless bodies near the front porch. Sometimes, late at night, you could hear him outside munching away. Always a treat to sweep up in the mornings.
- Chris Shadowens
What made the grapefruit so damned special as to warrant it's own utensil? Why don't more people just peel and eat them? I don't see any orange spoons or tangerine spoons or kumquat spoons.
What on the gods' green earth is a kumquat?
It sounds dirty.
Not as long as you wash it. Ba-Da-Chiiinnnggg!!!
Seriously, though, you wouldn't need a utensil for kumquats as they're tiny and the rind is edible...though I suppose you could use a grapefruit spoon made at dollhouse scale.
- Chris Shadowens
I hate mosquitoes
Yea, me too...and termites.
I hated termite season in Hawaii, when the winged, wormy bugs were EVERYWHERE, clouding the sky.
I remember a couple of occurrences, one was when I was in high school up late watching TV and feeling something on my back. The window was open so I thought the wind was blowing the curtain pull-cord, thought that's what it was. Lights were out but for the TV so couldn't initially see anything...then it fell in past the tv, then another and another. I jump up out of bed, and hit the light and there they were, covering nearly the entire window's screen, hundreds, possibly thousands of termites, assumingly attracted to the tv's glow like moths. They'd find their way past the screen and they're wings drop off leaving the creepy-crawly body which is what I'd initially felt. I shut the window and started hunting bugs to squish. *ick*
The other occurrence was when I was living on the Big Island and we were heading home from town one night and needed to stop for gas. There was a Chevron along the way, which I'd never really noticed was kind of there by itself, no other shops nearby. As we're pulling up to it, the bright lights in the ceiling over the pumps a glowing beacon in the blackened night sky (the Hilo side of the island is pretty sparse in areas population-wise) and there they were, like the thickest fog you can imagine but localized in the lighted area only. Being the good kid I was I spared my mom the heinousness of the termite cloud and got out to pump the gas trying my hardest to not completely freak out.
- Chris Shadowens
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I step out of Samie's beat-up old car onto the packed mud and snow. She drives away to parts unknown, and I trudge the remaining hundred yards, entering through the back door of the admin building. Why the f~*# does the station have to be on the fourth floor? My laptop case in hand, I begin the tedious trek up the four flights of stairs. I don't know why I bring my laptop to work. I never use it. I just need something in my hand. Damn, my head hurts. I round the second-floor landing. Arielle walks past on the way to the copier. I see her. She doesn't see me. I keep walking. The fourth floor seems more stark than usual. John walks past, in his usual self-absorbed manner. We don't talk about him. I enter the second door on the right. It appears that Mike the intern left it unlocked yesterday. Mike's a good kid, a little bit flighty, but a good kid nonetheless. I'm the first one in to work. The f~*#ing lights are on. I can hear the converter whirring as I remove the batteries from their chargers. I sit down at my desk, at the rear of the second of the two squalid rooms comprising my workplace. I flip the switch. Great. Smitty's here. f~*# him. f~*#, my head hurts. Smitty's not helping things, either.
"What the f~*# are you doing, douchebag?" he squeaks. You'd never think that a guy that big could have so high-pitched a voice.
"I'm working. I'll kick your ass if you don't shut up, Smitty."
"Ha! Good one, douchebag!"
What an idiot. Smitty walks out the door to get something out of his car. God, how can a guy that moronic get his driver's license? My headache's getting worse. I turn off the converter, eject the disc. I walk back to my desktop and log on. Heath and Ben burst through the door. Ben's carrying a beer. It's eight thirty in the morning. Why?
Heath drops his lunchbox on his desk. "What's going on?" he asks. Without waiting for a reply, he leaves. Ben continues drinking his beer. My headache continues to get worse. It feels like a knife digging into my forehead. My face drops to the surface of my desk.
I raise my head. I'm sitting on my couch. Miranda looks at me. I look back. She runs her fingers through my hair.
"Rough day at work?" she inquires.
"Yeah..."
She draws me closer. A stabbing pain explodes through my head. I'm at my desk. Ben's standing behind me, clutching an empty beer bottle. What the f~*#?
"Hey, dude," he mumbles, "Heath's gonna be back soon. You were, like, totally passed out."
Un-f~*#ing-believable.
"What the HELL, Ben? Heath lets me take naps!"
"Well, I thought you were dead."
"Are you stoned?"
"Nah, bra. I haven't touched the stuff in weeks."
There's no comeback to that. Heath walks in the door. He shakes his head. My eyes are popping out of my skull like ping-pong balls. f~*#, that hurts. I lower my head to the cool surface of my desk once more. Sleep.
The door slams.
Typical.
This deserves an exlanation. I posted it on the "Non-Sequitur" thread this morning.
It's a composite of stuff that's happened to me between the hours of seven o'clock and eight-thirty in the morning. All real.
Samie is a woman I know that frequently lets me hitch rides in her car. It's a Geo, so the doors often freeze shut.
The two-room public TV station I work in is on the fourth floor of the local high school, in the admin section. Sometimes, I bring my laptop to work because it makes me feel important.
Arielle works in the office next door. I've been trying to get her to notice me for two years.
John is an English teacher in the school. For some reason, he has the keys to every f+**ing room in the building. He's a control freak, and he creeps the hell out of me.
Mike "Mikey-Mike" McClure is a high-school student (and a friggin' genius with computers) that helps out with the program. A lot of high school kids come in to help out. Hell, I did. That's how I got the job.
Mike "Smitty" Smith is a certified pain-in-the-ass. We don't know why he hasn't been fired yet.
Heath is my boss. He doesn't seem like a boss, because he's a gamer, and he's only five years older than I am. He's cool. He could also kill me by sitting on my chest.
Ben's the resident drunk/stoner. He parties too much. The beer bottle thing happened once on a weekend when he brought his breakfast to work.
The dream is an actual dream I had this morning while I was asleep at my desk. Miranda is a girl I was taken with in high school. I don't know why she popped up in my dream now, though. My mind is screwy like that.
And yes, I had one of the worst headaches of my life today.
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Hmmm, I was wondering Shiny – thanks for the explanation.
So far all my quotes in the non-sequitur thread have all been from or about a single gaming session that I had about two weeks ago … all except the last one I posted (about the halflings) which was from Nic Logue.
Oh. Yeah, my boss is named Heath. However, unless you live ten miles away, work part time at a liquor store, and weigh close to four hundred pounds, I doubt you're him.
He should walk to work because I doubt he's gonna live much longer...
On the way home today it started to snow. So, when I got home, I decided to go for a run in the park. Snow and 34 degrees, and I go for a 2 miles run - does this mean I'm crazy?
oh yeah your crazy...F*$&Kin Crazy!Running in the snow and ice did you wear all white jumpsuit and dress shoes;)
I've notice you live on the Eastcoast Aberzombie?what state?
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On the way home today it started to snow. So, when I got home, I decided to go for a run in the park. Snow and 34 degrees, and I go for a 2 miles run - does this mean I'm crazy?oh yeah your crazy...F*$&Kin Crazy!Running in the snow and ice did you wear all white jumpsuit and dress shoes;)
I've notice you live on the Eastcoast Aberzombie?what state?
A pink and green kilt, a Menudo concert t shirt, and combat boots.
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I've notice you live on the Eastcoast Aberzombie?what state?
Pennsylvania. To be more specific - Philadelphia: The City of *cough, cough* Brotherly Love.
I've notice you live on the Eastcoast Aberzombie?what state?Pennsylvania. To be more specific - Philadelphia: The City of *cough, cough* Brotherly Love.
** spoiler omitted **
dude I'm like 20 minutes away in Jersey!Eagles fans are a angry people-
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Remember back when people were telling stories about kids on the "Things that Suck" thread?
I got one.
Phil, a friend of mine, has a four-year-old named Aidan. The following conversation took place after watching an episode of "Fat Camp":
Aidan: "Daddy, will I have to go on that show when I grow up?"
Phil: "No, kiddo. what makes you say that?"
Aidan: "Well, I want to be just like you, and you're fat."
*doik*
...
No, seperation of church and steak is the way to go.
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I've been walking through your streets where all your money is earned,
Where all your buildings are crying
And clueless neckties working.
Revolving fake-lawn houses housing all your fears,
Desensitized by TV.
Overbearing advertising, God of consumers,
And all your crooked creatures looking good.
Mirrors filtering information through the public eye.
Designed for profit sharing,
Your neighbor: what a guy.
Every time you drop the bomb, you kill a god, your child is born.
Modern globalization, coupled with condemnations.
Unnecessary deaths.
Matador corporations puppeting your frustrations with a blinded flag.
Manufacturing consent is the name of the game,
The bottom line is money, nobody gives a f+@!!
Four thousand hungry children leave us per hour from starvation,
While billions are spent on bombs, creating death showers.
Why must we kill our own kind?
Boom.
- System of a Down
I saw an article on Yahoo news that said married couples who fight live longer. Maybe it just seems like longer.
Holy ass-snot, we just had an earthquake!
I have a new favorite thing.
I have opened the box!thanks Cosmo! that really cool!
f&!& YES. I finally bought a guitar. Now, we wait and see if anything comes of it...
The guy in the store gave me a weird look when I paid in cash, though.
That was worth something.
Nice! What kind? Pictures?
I saw that too, my wife says we're going to live forever. ;)
Holy ass-snot, we just had an earthquake!
I can honestly say I don't have any experience with that. Lot of shaking I'd assume, but, general impressions?
I saw that too, my wife says we're going to live forever. ;)
Holy ass-snot, we just had an earthquake!I can honestly say I don't have any experience with that. Lot of shaking I'd assume, but, general impressions?
We had a few little ones last year they only lasted for a few seconds and were mostly in the wee hours of the morning. There was minor shaking that made things rattle around on their shelves for a few seconds before it was gone.
Director of Narrative
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The local news ran a short story about an apartment fire. The apartments were abandoned and they say the fire was started intentionally. At the end of the piece they say that the building was slated for demolition and the fire did $250,000 in damages.
I don't get it.
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The local news ran a short story about an apartment fire. The apartments were abandoned and they say the fire was started intentionally. At the end of the piece they say that the building was slated for demolition and the fire did $250,000 in damages.
I don't get it.
I blame the English.
Weird. If it was slated for demolition, than why was it worth enough to cost so much in damages?
Weird. If it was slated for demolition, than why was it worth enough to cost so much in damages?It was housing alien artifacts. Duh.
Right, and they pulled C.G.B Spender out of the wreckage.
Beads; more beads; beads for everyone
<- throws out beads.
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Tim Finnegan lived in Walkin Street
A gentle Irishman, mighty odd;
He'd a beautiful brogue so rich and sweet
And to rise in the world he carried a hod.
Now, Tim had a bit of the tipplin' way
With a love for the liquor poor Tim was born
And to help him on with his work each day
He'd a "drop of the Craythur every morn.
Whack fol the dah O, dance to your partner
Welt the floor, your trotters shake;
Wasn't it the truth I told you
Lots of fun at Finnegan's wake!
One mornin' Tim was rather full
His head felt heavy which made him shake;
He fell from the ladder and broke his skull
And they carried him home his corpse to wake.
They rolled him up in a nice clean sheet
And laid him out upon the bed,
A gallon of whiskey at his feet
And a barrel of porter at his head.
His friends assembled at the wake
And Mrs. Finnegan called for lunch,
First she brought in tay and a cake
Then pipes, tobacca' and whiskey punch.
Biddy O'Brien began to cry
"Such a nice clean corpse, did you ever see?
"O Tim, mavourneen, why did you die?"
"Arragh, hold your gob" cried Paddy McGee!
Then Maggie O'Connor took up the job
"O Biddy," says she, "You're wrong, I'm sure"
Biddy she gave her a belt in the gob
And left her sprawlin' on the floor.
And then the war did soon engage
'Twas woman to woman and man to man,
Shillelagh law was all the rage
And a row and a ruction soon began.
Then Mickey Maloney ducked his head
When a noggin of whiskey flew at him,
It missed, and falling on the bed
The liquor scattered over Tim!
Tim revives! See how he rises!
Tim he rises from the dead,
Says, "Whirl your whiskey around like blazes"
"Thanum an Dhul, do you thunk I'm dead?"
Whack fol the dah O, dance to your partner
Welt the floor, your trotters shake;
Wasn't it the truth I told you
Lots of fun at Finnegan's wake!