Very_Simple_Commoner's page

(whom is also nekkid)

My ma always said that about me too.

Nope not touching that with a 10 foot stick.

Whats abouts if I two fistin the beers?

Very_Simple_Commoner wrote:

... Wait do I have that template?

No, you have the advanced Simple template.

And to think my teachers said I would never advance at anything.

... Wait do I have that template?

True words jimmy true words.

I do like me a good french dip.

Can't argue with that.

I may not be quick
and the ladies say I make them sick
No one will every call me slick.
But I did find a cool brick.

Why should you not park in a witch's parking spot? Because if you do, you will be toad.

Happened to me once

I got better.

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

My wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning, and now I'm not allowed access to the Sharpies anymore.

well at least you found a way to make her smile.

I like to think that I make her smile everyday, as I walk out the door.

aww that's touching.

I think you mean "Lysdexia".

Ah yes the sexiest of learning disabilities.

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I was assuming you had six fingers on each hand, as well as six toes per foot.

Well that don't make no sense. Then it would be 30.

How many hands and feet do you have?

6.

Eh nice try but you got to be lookin somewhere else for a man with 6 fingers on his left hand.

It's not my fault that the American educational system failed you.

Any thin past fingers and toesys is too many.

Is it just me or...?

uuhh...

COUNTRY ROAD! Take me home! to the place! I BELONG!

That is a strange way to deal with a older woman hitting on you but whatever works.

I keep em on the bottoms of me shoes where they are suppose to go...

HA! I get it.

I hope it's black widow. Hubba hubba.

You can cook boujee like chicken. Tasty.

Even I saw that coming.

*off tune* SUCK A TREE!

Sharoth wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to hand him the money. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said,
"Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."
The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much,to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 year"

Ok this is my new favorite gran joke. This one is good.

Of hearse it is.

♫ A hearse is a hearse, of curse of curse. ♫

♫ And no one can talk to a hearse of curse. ♫
♫ Unless of curse the hearse of curse is the fermous Mister Jed! ♫

Green acres is the place to be

Yuck I hate spiders.

I'm giving up drinking for a month.

No, wait. Punctuation.

I'm giving up. Drinking for a month.

Ok that's funny right there I don't care who you are.

Very_Simple_Commoner wrote:

Silly city slicker don't know how to whittle.

All ya'll's gots ta do is put yer lips together and blow.

*looks around nervously* ... My cousin didn't tell ya bout that one did she?

(Too far? please address all complaints to gran rey de los disclaimer )

Silly city slicker don't know how to whittle.

Very_Simple_Commoner wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Did you know that you can't take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? It's true! You need a camera.

Maybe if you were really really good at whittling...

Well, that would be carving an effigy, not taking a picture, now wouldn't it?

Well you gotta do some carving for sure. I don't know not to much about that there effigining. I don't know why you wouldn't just take a picture tho.

Did you know that you can't take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? It's true! You need a camera.

Maybe if you were really really good at whittling...

Dope.

We take kindly to your type around here boy.

My mammie always said my cousin/uncle was a zombie.

Well you done still typed gram gram correctly so I'd say not enuff...

Did you save the world?

Shakespeare truly a man before his time writing thrash metal before the electric guitar heck before electricity was invented...

Yes if one puts ones fingers in ones ears and go LALALAALLAA one can ignore many a thing.

Vidmaster7 wrote:

hmm Is it bad that my ideal wedding would be a giant D&D Larp?

NNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!

*spits*

10 is a nicer number then 11. I'm all for 10.

It does say so in the name...

Solid rain? Sleet, hail, snow?!?!?!?

That took me longer then is should have. :(

I was like: Are lobsters known for being particularly selfish?

Then I said it out loud...

So i'm wearing the dunce (/peasant) hat now.

I just wanna see some cool laser sword fights!

Ahh a dragon!

The groundhogs are lying little f$$%ers.

I will bathe the tundra with their blood.

If I had any free time, and the tundra wasn't buried under four feet of snow, and it seems like a lot of work.

OK that's funny right their I don't care who you are.

I like potaters.

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Weird. Couple came in for room, they "don't do credit or debit cards" Well We have to have one so I sent them elsewhere. Who doesn't do debit cards? Some people are weird.

LOL. Welcome to "paranoid Westerner".

There's a remarkably-large group that's been around for decades (I had to deal with some of them in the early 1990's) who believe that if you use a credit card, your every move is being tracked, and therefore you should never use a card.

I'd be interested in whether they had cell phones...

Da man is out to git ya you gotta watch out for them and theirs.

I know that live news reporting isn't the easiest gig, but sometimes I don't think they're even trying anymore. Earlier tonight I heard a reporter use this segue: "If you are seeing snow plows working around the clock, it's because of the snow fall. Here with more is...". Really? Snow plows are working because of snow fall? That's incredible!

That sounds right to me....