Last one to post wins


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Me Win!


That,s funny, so do I.


Hmpf!


I beg to differ.

Sovereign Court

*Contacts I.F.S. Armageddon.*

Please call off your attack, as that's what Ultron Sigma WANTS! He hates organic lifeforms and seeks to remake the world in his image (he's got a MASSIVE god-complex).

*Has a sudden thought.*

Do you still have the Soul Stone? If so, quick give it to me. If Ultron Sigma desires victory, I'd say that him have it (in the style of Infinity War).

Sovereign Court

*Notices Schism is still at war with herself.*

You need to seek medical help, badly!


Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

*Contacts I.F.S. Armageddon.*

Please call off your attack, as that's what Ultron Sigma WANTS! He hates organic lifeforms and seeks to remake the world in his image (he's got a MASSIVE god-complex).

*Has a sudden thought.*

Do you still have the Soul Stone? If so, quick give it to me. If Ultron Sigma desires victory, I'd say that him have it (in the style of Infinity War).

It fell into the sousaphone. Now there's a really annoying rattle every time I hit a low C#.


I fell off the edge of the world today...
But not to fret, I’m still okay.

I landed on a sandy lawn...
The universe went on, and on. (Kind of like this thread.)

I took a mind to look around...
And saw an elephant holding up the ground.

Beneath its feet so nice and neat...
A sturdy snail, made the scene complete.
(Well, almost.)
For under the snail with its shiny shell...
There swum a whale, with a great big ... Blowhole.
(You thought I was gonna say tail, l bet.)

Sovereign Court

I didn't know WHAT you were gonna say.

*Retrieves the Soul Stone from the sousaphone.*

Sorry about that.

*Looks at the Soul Stone and smiles devilishly.*

Don't worry, I'll handle Ultron Sigma.


Because no one cares about my Immortality.

Sovereign Court

Hmm, I wonder...

*Treats Vidmaster7 to a luxury spa break, where he has a wash, a shave and a trim, revealing the handsome and youthful looking man that he is underneath all the hair.*

Looks like you should have a spa day more often, Vidmaster7, it does a world of wonders for you!

Sovereign Court

Do not bother, we shall render such a concept invalid!

*Reveals a new weapon that we have recently built.*

Behold, the Infinity Cataclyser! Powered by five Infinity Stones, it shall be your doom!

*Laughs in maniacal victory as we charge up the weapon.*

Sovereign Court

Five Infinity Stones, don't you mean SIX?

*Smiles as Ultron Sigma looks confused.*

Here, let me show you.

*I use my magic to reveal the primary power source of the weapon, causing Ultron Sigma to panic.*

Ultron Sigma: "the Soul Stone!?"

*As the weapon reaches maximum power, it malfunctions, creating a massive explosion.*

That takes care of Ultron Sigma.

*Once the dust settles, everyone can see that Ultron Sigma and the Infinity Stones are gone as well as the Infinity Cataclyser being destroyed.*

We probably haven't seen the last of Ultron Sigma, but now he's trapped (along with the Infinity Stones) back to whatever dimension he came from.

*Because Ultron Sigma is now banished, all that was infected by him is now cured.*


The Lack Of Internal Consistency Here Is Annoying. My Mission Remains Incomplete.

*Rips open a hole in reality, pursuing Ultron to wherever he was blown to.*

Ultron Must Be Utterly Destroyed. No Mere Banishment Will Suffice. I Will Pursue For An Eternity If I Must, And Return Victorious In The End.


Good thing we still have a supply of these. Finite stones!


But supplies are limited. hence the name.

Sovereign Court

Iron Federation Drone, please call off I.F.S. Armageddon as it is being really stupid. Ultron Sigma CANNOT be destroyed (many have tried and all have failed), and he will enjoy being hunted down because it will result in mass genocide!

*Calms down for a moment.*

Robots are more trouble than their worth.

*Throws Waterhammer into Vidmaster7's beard as a final thought.*


He'll have plenty of company there, at least.


That is true. He won't be lonely.

Sovereign Court

So, what's been happening while I've been feasting on cadavers?


Nothing much, just Schism, Vampire Schism, Schism Hag and Schism Spice having a conversation earlier.

Oh, and me winning.

Sovereign Court

Oh, so nothing important then.

*Continues to eat cadavers.*


I think Uncle Honore might consider chewing that particular part to be a little over-familiar, dear.


Oooh! Ohohoo! Festère, tu es un petit gouailleuse!

Sovereign Court

Don't bother, Uncle Honore, Fester Addams doesn't speak your language and nor does he talk to corpses.

He's quite ghoulish isn't he.

Also, what has happened with the Blood War?


It has been replaced by nude hula-hooping.


No, it hasn't, and furthermore, while spinning two hula hoops around *that* is a most impressive feat of dexterity, I do wish you wouldn't do it at breakfast.


one hula-hoop, 2 hula-hoop, 3 hula-hoop! aha ha!

Sovereign Court

*Rips out the vocal chords of Comte de Malodor.*

That ought to take care of you for a while.

*Buys Dowager Comtesse de Malodor a golden signet ring encrusted with genuine blood rubies.*

I hope that this is to your liking.

*Makes Vidferatu eat the vocal chords of Comte de Malodor.*

You're a disgrace to vampires.


*Four* hula-hoops silently revolve, in different directions, in front of Count Reiner.


Bursts free of Vidmaster7’s luxuriant, yet very overcrowded beard. “Did someone say hula-hoops?”
Produces hula-hoop, stands it on end, then begins to roll it around, using a stick to guide its path.
“Hula-hooping 1890s style.”


Impressive.

This post was brought to you by the letter H. ha ha ha.

Sovereign Court

*Opens a cage, setting free a colossal anaconda.*

Go, my slithering beauty, kill Comte de Malodor!

*Thinks for a moment.*

Maybe just hurt him badly, go for the "hula hoops".

*Sees Vidmaster7 use his beard to recapture Waterhammer.*


VVVHAT IS ZISS? VHY DO YOU TVINE ARRROUND ZOSE PARTSSS OF MY HHHUSBANT ZHAT ISS MY PERSONAL PROPERTY, YOU OPHIDIAN HHUSSY?!


I am male, I'll have you know.

Sovereign Court

Lashcastrakaa, the Midgard Serpent has no interest in your oaf of a husband beyond brutal maiming and possibly death.

*Gives an exasperated sigh.*

Meanwhile, I'm trying to inform Dowager Comtesse de Malodor that the ring I bought for her was merely a gift and NOT A PROPOSAL. But, she's too wrapped up in happiness to listen.


Midgard Serpent wrote:

I am male, I'll have you know.

He-ssy, then. Either way, I wouldn't go anywhere near those regions of Alphonse if you value your health & sanity.

And Count, Mummy is in raptures because she's sure it's a Ring of the Ram and she wants to try it out on her ex-husband.

Sovereign Court

Then please explain to me, why she is trying on marital garments and picking out select venues solely for weddings AND why, whenever I enter the room, does she say to you and your brother "meet your new father".

*Sighs.*

Honestly, the Heydrich household has a specific way of dealing with marriages. Besides, I'd have given her an endless supply of candied gnomes.


*Alphonse! He doesn't know that Graz'zt is following him around everywhere! Don't tell him!*

Sovereign Court

I heard that.

*Gives Lady Blackmoor and Comte de Malodor an unamused look.*

And I am fully aware of Graz'zt following me.

*Rolls eyes.*

What I want to know is why? I already gave him my autograph.


I think he's secretly hoping you sign the next one with your True Name.


Beards of holding man they have their positive and their negatives.

Sovereign Court

*Looks confused.*

But I did sign it with my true name...

*Suddenly realises what Comte de Malodor means.*

Oh, "True Name"! Sorry, that secret has been lost for years.

*Turns attention to Vidmaster7.*

Yes, beards of holding can be useful.
Wouldn't mind meeting Well Groomed Vidmaster7 one day.


Beards of Devouring are also useful. You never need to worry about getting food stuck in them, at least.


-> As always, it started with a phone call...


People say when I shave I look a bit like Nicholas Cage.


-> "Good evening Trump, it's Joan. Aunt Martha is ill and requests your presence."


I don't see it myself. anyways I g2g and steal the declaration of independence.


-> I drove. I took my time and still arrived far too quickly. The Baxter R&D Center looked the same as it had a year ago. Huh, a year already, since I had been called upon to save the world.


Did you save the world?

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