Have you considered abandoning your heretical gods and joining the Church of Punniculus?
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Excellent! Find an owl and a bear, I don't much care which ones, and use said medicinals to get them busy getting busy. Maybe you can use your bardic abilities to set the mood? You know what, I'll leave the specifics up to you. I don't really need the details. I cannot use my CLERIC performance for that... I am not Barry White... But I'll device something clever.
Here and ready! I have stolen...borrowed GoatToucher's mighty medicines and I am ready to do whatever I have to do!
Good morning, everyone. Huh? What? This thread has succumbed to silliness again, hasn't it? It's the power of Punniculus! And soon you will all serve him!
I love blonde jokes!
As Punniculus high and only priestess I have to warn you: no bards allowed! You have
Oh, then I guess I should stop planning a trip to Spain. So bad. I already had fetched your outfit for the Arde Lucus...
I have already written it! I had it for a... uh... personal project! Hey, god, now you have a necromancer too!!! We need uniforms!
As soon as I have a name I can be your paladin, my lord Punniculus. Following the tradition of bards that pretend to be something else. Who pretends? I am a cleric! *Dances to Fascinate K.U.B. and then uses Suggestion on her* Say I am a Cleric.
It must mean that your only law is chaos. Good enough to me.
Better make that four joints and add on some Primus. There is a Kender about. Hey, hey! I'm only half kender! I left the problematic parts out! Well... half of them...
It wasn't hell!!! Punniculus is not an Evil god! I guess... I don't even known what his alignment is...
All praise my nekkid god!
Ugh... that was 1'45 meters tall... Damn confusing imperial measures... xD I am tall for a kender because I am only half kender. I am tiny but I have everything in its place ;-P
My maths are not good but I am pretty sure 4'75"=4'75" Sandy and I have already met. *wink* It was a wild party xD
And maybe this for cozy nights at home. That's a practical attire for cold nights when you don't want to remove your pants to go to the bathroom. Being 4'75" tall I guess that would be even more revealing on me!
Nah! Those colors are dull and boring! What about something to match my red nose?
Soo... I get to the fancy restaurant nekkid and then... I scream?
Oh! I don't worry about being arrested!
Do I get nekkid before or after getting to the beach?
Don't look at me! I am a cleric now!
*Puts a whoopee cushion in Punniculus seat so when he comes back he realizes that what a good worshipper she is*
Granted! You are trapped in Deep 6 FaWtL with El gran rey de los mono for life! I wish for Punniculus to become the one and only god for everybody!
Not so much. People tend to enjoy both. The second is kinda difficult to use in combat, though.Not that I tried, but a bard always hears stories...
I was and wasn't named after that spell. In my world Hideous Laughter is just Hideous Laughter so there's no Tasha but me. But I guess someone decided to be a bit metagamey while naming me... and it wasn't my mom... *cough*Kileanna*cough* A joke, of course! I know a lot of jokes! What do you call it when you get knocked down by an Ooze?
I used to be a non serious bard before I decided to become a non serious cleric. It's like being a bard but I'm told to call my perform (oratory) checks sermons, so everything seems holier. And Kileanna is very ticklish. You touch her and she releases an acute ear piercing scream. She sometimes hits people in the face with her elbows by accident. Bocadillo literally means «little bite» while armadillo means «little armor». I know because I have casted Voluminous Vocabulary to post here. I don't speak English or Spanish for real, just a few native languages from my world.
I could do that but my god forbids me from wearing anything but my birthday suit or ridiculous outfits of his choice. So bad. I liked the leather jacket as a focus for my spell. I had even learned the lyrics for «You are the one that I want».
It was the bizarre half elf with the funny hats!
How curious... this isn't very different from my bard training... This is going to be easy!
*Reads the words inside of the asterisks* *Shakes his hand grabbing him by the wrist* Thanks, My Lord! When do I begin my clerical training? Do I have to wear funny clerical garments? I am comfy with my birthday suit right now.
Hipster? That hurts! And hobbits are booooring. I've always had difficulties with settling myself on the same place for a long time.
EDIT: I'm tired of being always barefoot! I decided I'd rather go completely naked!
Sorry, you had your opportunity. You are too mainstream as a god for a bard. I'm sticking to Punniculus.
Oh, my!!! I'm retraining my bard levels into cleric levels now!!!Where do I sign?
I tried to use «Kiss me» as a motivational song in battle, but it didn't catch as a bardic performance. It gave the wrong message. Having a bunch of wretched hobgoblings actually trying to kiss me was too awkward! The next poster has a good idea for an original bardic performance.
Hey Look, A Gardener!
We were talking about frustrating characters and ended talking about kenders... Just saying.
Each time the windows need cleaning I move to a place with clean windows. Not because cleaning them is boooooring (it is) but because it's a clear sign that I've already been around too much. The next poster also travels a lot.
*Pets*
Pulg should not rule this city because he knows too much: specifically that Sandara is too busy mating.
Pulg was created with all the hair Vid left behind him when escaping from the slime. That makes Pulg sort of Pudding's son. There was enough hair left to create Gulp and Plug too, Pulg's brothers (mentioned in previous posts).
Vid was the first easy meal, but the slime indigested with all the hair and let Vid out.
*Taunts Dalindra to create avalanches until she's caught in one of them*
And a half kender.
There is also a kender in the trilogy of Mina that is kinda OK. He's called Nightshade and he's not the average kender. I don't dislike all kender but I hate how even the authors made all them be the same. They could have developed them a bit not to behave all like Tasselhoff and to be able to fit the game without being a pain in the ass. But they reinforced that until they were barely playable. I managed to introduce some of them as NPCs in my games and my players actually liked them, but I had to add some changes to make them be less disruptive. Anyway, I love Dragonlance (I've been GMing in Dragonlance for years and we have shaped the world in a way that it's now our own setting rather than the standard one, so I cannot leave all that behind and move to another setting), but as it is it's a flawed and outdated setting, with a lack of variety in a lot of ways and some unplayable options that need to be fixed (kender and gnomes i.e.) and underdeveloped gods. We've been working hard to change that and have the setting evolve into our times but again, as it is it needs a lot of work. Anyway, I love Dragonlance, specially the Dragonlance version we play at my table xD
There is also a kender in the trilogy of Mina that is kinda OK. He's called Nightshade and he's not the average kender. I don't dislike all kender but I hate how even the authors made all them be the same. They could have developed them a bit not to behave all like Tasselhoff and to be able to fit the game without being a pain in the ass. But they reinforced that until they were barely playable. I managed to introduce some of them as NPCs in my games and my players actually liked them, but I had to add some changes to make them be less disruptive. Anyway, I love Dragonlance (I've been GMing in Dragonlance for years and we have shaped the world in a way that it's now our own setting rather than the standard one, so I cannot leave all that behind and move to another setting), but as it is it's a flawed and outdated setting, with a lack of variety in a lot of ways and some unplayable options that need to be fixed (kender and gnomes i.e.) and underdeveloped gods. We've been working hard to change that and have the setting evolve into our times but again, as it is it needs a lot of work. Anyway, I love Dragonlance, specially the Dragonlance version we play at my table xD
Yes, it made me delusional. I took my mind to a parallel world where I imagined you were telling a story about the Chess people. Please tell me another one! The next poster is good at storytelling.
It turned out that we were supposed to be playing a chess game. I just kept telling a story with the pieces in the table. I was glad to get the King killed because the Knight could get the Queen out of the Tower where she was imprisoned and take her with her Bishop lover. In the end my surviving Black armies were redeemed and joined the White ones to live happily ever after so I don't care a lot if I lost. The next poster also turned a tabletop game into a story.
*Throws a prune right in Artephius' eye* I've blinded it! I win!
Sounds like a fun game. *Throws a prune at Artephius*
Sorry, Sissyl, that's not working! I'm just half-kender! And I'm also a Bard with buffed knowledge skills ;-D Good attempt! *Stealthily steals Sissyl's headdress*
Look, Sissyl, there's your lost headdress!
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