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I am a good servant, Master. And definitely not a dog.

I cannot feel the patting either, but I apreciate the gesture.

Now, back to work.

*Aims at Seleena*

Is the dark cloaked blueish woman an uninvited guest?


* checks guest list *

Nope, she's number #1,234 on the list. She's invited.


*carefully tosses a prune to land on the back of Uncle Teddy's helmet*

"Hey, golem! What's that on Uncle Teddy's helmet? Was that invited?"


You have attacked my Master.

NOW, DIE!

*Delightfully blasts the Really Old Gamer, over and over and over again*


* grabs the prune off Uncle Teddy's helmet and pops it in my mouth *

Delicious.

Dark Archive

Why do we have a psycho golem as a steward? It sounds... dangerous.

I wouldn't trust any servant without a mind I can control.


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*watches the elemental rays wither and fizzle as they hit the wall of prune-induced stinking cloud*

"Hehh that's a good one, golem. Keep trying. And beware of the prune!"

"Btw, free prunes for flipping the golem over."


Sounds like a fun game.

*Throws a prune at Artephius*


Stupid guests.
That prunes cannot hurt me and I am unable to feel humiliation or anger.

*Keeps blasting everything*

And I might not have a mind but I have a brain. It used to belong to an elf.


"Where do you keep that, then?"


Inside my metallic head, of course. It is a brain.

*Continues trying to kill the Really Old Gamer while calmly talking to him*

My Creator sure knew what purpose it served. I only know it is there.

*Blasts more uninvited prunes*


*adds to the shields with more stinking cloud*

Still no takers for flipping the golem over?


*Throws a prune right in Artephius' eye*

I've blinded it! I win!


Give Captain Danger Bear a long enough stick, and he will undertake to flip any golem you care to mention.

If the stick in question is a (lit) stick of dynamite, all the better.


Be careful with that clouds, I don't want to create a prune flavored Trench Mist.


Comes down out of ceiling like GlADOs from portal*
ThE ViRAl InfeCTIon FoR ImmeDIATe PsYchoSiS HaS WoRKED As PlAnnED.
THis GOLeM ShALL DestROY ALL of YOu COMMIE MUTANT SCUM.

OR yoU May Have sOme CAKe, And TheN AssUME THE SUBMiSSIOn POSturE For QUiCK and PainLess TERMiNAtiOn And REplAcemENT WIth The NeXT ClonE Of Your VAt.


*Cleans up after the party goers, grumbling to himself the entire time.*


* grabs FRIEND COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND, drags it off, and drops it into a bottomless pit *

There may be mutants and scum here, but none of us are commie mutant scum.


THis Is TreaSON YOu FooL! YoUr EntIre Vat Will BE ExtIGUISHed FoR ThiSS!!

>>>BzzzTT<<<


* watches as the computer's "attack" flies harmlessly out of the pit and into the sky *

Ooh, pretty. Hey, everyone, check out this light show.


Like, cooooosmic, man


Come on people!! Can't you keep this clean for just one minute!?
*begins to clean up the acid and dead bodies*


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Oooooh, four and twenty virgins came to Last One To Post,
And when the feast was over, the thread was locked and closed,
Singing bears to your partner, tickle a golem's balls,
If you ain't been blown up on a Wednesday night, you've never been blown at all.

Todd, The Hellish Janitor, placed both hands on his broom,
Pushed and pulled most vig'rously and fertilised the room,

Singing bears to your partner, tickle a golem's balls,
If you ain't been blown up on a Wednesday night, you've never been blown at all.

(TBC)

Scarab Sages

*serves a big plate of action-figure-sandwiches*


Too many uninvited guests here. Carnage is proving unnefective.

What are your commands, Master?

I sincerely hope you command me to shut up the noise-making man.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I like the singing man.

*Pulls out her guitar and sings along*

Singing bears to your partner, tickle a golem's balls,
If you ain't been blown up on a Wednesday night, you've never been blown at all.


Such mayhem going on... O_O'


It's a party.
In my experience partys usually turn out like this. That's why I don't usually like partys.
At least this time we're not having pirates crashing it like it happened in the last party I was in.


You had to say it, dincha?

*sighs deeply and munches thoughtfully on more prunes and gruel. The potted plant nearby is looking a bit pale*


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Lame dolly rager.

Some sort of archetype, perhaps...?


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Now this is a party I can enjoy!
Armored legally?


*Beats Dirty Old Victorian Longears upside the head with his +2 flaming, unholy mop.*
*continues to sweep and grumble to self*


Music.
Word games.
Prunes.
That's what happens when you let the uninvited guests in.

I'm sorry, Master. I'm overwhelmed.

The only solution is killing them all.

*Aims his elemental cannons*

If you consent...


Fire away. The invited guests will be protected. The uninvited shall be blown away.


The prunes are preventing them from being banished, Master.

*Blasts everything with an elemental storm anyway*


*Mops up behind the Golem.*

I'm seriously starting to get tired of this...


* hands Todd a sack of gold coins *

Just thought I'd give you this small token of appreciation for all the hard work you've been doing.

Sovereign Court

Quite right, Grandpa Wonderbra, Todd has to put up with so much and I don't think my joke helped. I'm sorry Todd, here, have a delicious (allergy free) raspberry and peanut butter cupcake. I made it myself!

*Hands Todd the cupcake.*

Grandpa Wonderbra, any luck with getting more people/clans/groups to join your faction? As I said earlier, there is only three (technically four), what about those Grey Maidens that showed up and immediately pledged their loyalty to you?


The only nice thing about selling my soul is that I never have allergic reactions to anything anymore...
Thanks for the gestures though...
*continues to sweep the mess*


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Ah yes, the Grey Maidens - I've got them working on coming up with a proper banner.

Fred has attracted a large number of awakened animals to join the faction.

Uncle Teddy has been meeting with various storm giant clans that have expressed interest to finalize the details.

And I just received word of an entire planet on the other side of the galaxy has pledged their services to us. I'm working on stabilizing the portals between us and them.

Sovereign Court

That's good because so far we have:

The White claw Clan, a group of orcs (and one of two who remained after the Avatar of Zon-Kuthon disappeared along with the rest of the Horde) that are directed by the High elder who originally lead the clan before giving the title of chieftain to Grandpa Wonderbra.

The Kessidari, the smallest clan (and the one that is unofficial), lead directly by Grandpa Wonderbra, that consists entirely of clones (both male and female) of Grandpa Wonderbra who are specialised as devil hunters (though they can kill anything with ruthless ease).

The Grizzlepaw Clan, the largest of the clans and the one to contain multiple races. Lead by Uncle Teddy, the clan makes up the bulk of the faction, with the most senior members (including Uncle Teddy himself) serving as protectors to the White claw Clan.

And finally, we have my team, the Red Fury Clan. This clan is made up entirely by worgen (although some were once humans and others were elves) and is the only one that does not seem to have a specific role in the faction (maybe the clan could serve as an official version of the Kessidari by providing stealth and brutal assassinations​). Recently, the clan's leader has married a relative of Grandpa Wonderbra. Perhaps this will improve the clan's standing.

Sorry to speak of you in the third person Grandpa Wonderbra.


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I have completed my negotiations. We can add the following Storm Giant Clans to the roster:

The Three Mountains Clan, numbering 75
The Callers of the Four Winds Clan, numbering 200
The Steel Lightning Clan, numbering 50
The Living Thunder Clan, also numbering 50
and
The Iron Tornado Clan, numbering 100.

The Steel Lightning and The Iron Tornado clans are excellent smiths.
The Three Mountains are excellent healers.
The Callers of the Four Winds and The Living Thunder specialize in arcane magics and siege warfare.

And GW has asked me to inform you that, if you desire, you may take on the role of the Kessidari.


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And my axe!


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* walks up to Artephius the Alchemical Golem and casts several enchantments, boosting the power of the golem's guns *

This will take care of the interfering prunes. Now, I believe we have an uninvited guest here.

* points at Jokey *

He's probably scaring the noble Ventnor away with his bad puns.


mmm... Meta jokes...


Grandpa Wonderbra wrote:

* points at Jokey *

He's probably scaring the noble Ventnor away with his bad puns.

Hm, wha? Oh, no, he's alright.

My draconic hide is invulnerable to puns.


*Casts Maze on Artephius*

He was boring me with all that «uninvited guests» thing.

We'll get rid of him for a time. There's no way he can get out of there without an INT score.

Todd will probably be grateful.

Back to the party now.


*suddenly, uneexpectedly, is done eating*

*falls asleep*


Kileanna wrote:

*Casts Maze on Artephius*

He was boring me with all that «uninvited guests» thing.

We'll get rid of him for a time. There's no way he can get out of there without an INT score.

Todd will probably be grateful.

Back to the party now.

Why would I be grateful!? Now I've got way more dashboards and walls to dust! And they're all in this tiny pocket dimension...

*pulls out a teeny, tiny, duster, and dusts the pocket dimension.*

*returns to sweeping, again, grumbling to himself*

Scarab Sages

*sprinkles holy water on the door handle to Todd's supply Closet*

Teeheehee....

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