Orthos, Recurring Evil Henchman's page

Also RE:TP:

"And I love YOU, random citizen!"

"Get everyone back into the office" doesn't just apply to office workers anymore, apparently.

THE WASPS ATE MY CLOTHES WHAT THE FHTAGN

Orthos, Recurring Evil Henchman wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Vanykrye wrote:

"So how am I supposed to know who is behind in their work? Open all their emails? Please advise?"

(1) Unlearn any and all stupidity someone whose brain resides in the 1970s taught you.

(2) Determine the industry standard expected production from each employee based on their role.
(3) Instead of monitoring their emails, or how many bathroom breaks they take, or whether they're watching YouTube or YouPorn at their desks, monitor their production as well-defined for every job in every industry.
(4) If they're meeting their production quota and their work is of acceptable quality, leave them the f*** alone.

EDIT: I swear, such requests enrage me because they show such a fundamental lack of comprehension as to why you hired an employee in the first place. You needed a job done. You hired someone to do that job. Either they are doing that job satisfactorily or they aren't. Anything else is none of your f***ing business unless they're breaking the law.

"But the entire reason I went into management was so I can manage people! Directly! As minutely as possible! I need the power trip!"

I thought most people got into management because they couldn't actually do the job, but could brown-nose the boss.

Potato, Tomato.

Vanykrye wrote:

"So how am I supposed to know who is behind in their work? Open all their emails? Please advise?"

(1) Unlearn any and all stupidity someone whose brain resides in the 1970s taught you.

(2) Determine the industry standard expected production from each employee based on their role.
(3) Instead of monitoring their emails, or how many bathroom breaks they take, or whether they're watching YouTube or YouPorn at their desks, monitor their production as well-defined for every job in every industry.
(4) If they're meeting their production quota and their work is of acceptable quality, leave them the f*** alone.

EDIT: I swear, such requests enrage me because they show such a fundamental lack of comprehension as to why you hired an employee in the first place. You needed a job done. You hired someone to do that job. Either they are doing that job satisfactorily or they aren't. Anything else is none of your f***ing business unless they're breaking the law.

"But the entire reason I went into management was so I can manage people! Directly! As minutely as possible! I need the power trip!"

Well, tonight should be "interesting": From the very start of the campaign, Shiro has made it clear that if we don't have the appropriate knowledge skills when we reach the puzzles, we will die.

As I've mentioned, Selfish Player agreed to be the knowledge monkey, but as soon as he got killed the first time around, he's brought in two new characters, neither of whom had any knowledge skills. And as I've mentioned, they're making my cleric, with the worst survivability in the group, go first and test everything.

Both Shiro and I are convinced she's going to die tonight unless some people make some incredible rolls.

Now let's see what actually happens.

Good luck, and maybe the weight will land on someone who deserves it.

oh no my robes my bugs are getting everywhere *does her best Oogie Boogie impression*

Phrases I could have gone my whole life without hearing: "gangrenous stigmata".

Orthos, Post-Singularity wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

WE GOT AN ORTHOS!

HUZZAH!! What can I do?

Big and lumbering, you are the opposite of Scint in every way. While Scint has her FLYING SCINT ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK and is great at scouting and backstabbing, you kinda just show up and smash things with your oversized fists until they stop moving.

I'm good with this.

I heard evil laughter, is that my stage cue?

Today is Day 3 of our "team building conference" with 1160 attendees, and yet again I am appalled at corporate America's attitude towards cheating in general.

<snip>

You are in hell.

Don't look at me, I'm just following orders.

I got to thinking...what if the rapture happened like 6 years ago and this is actually the rest of the book of revelations?

Not seriously thinking but kind of a bourbon induced ‘well that could explain things’ sort of thought.

I mean, I've heard similar. At least one person on one of my Discords theorized that we're in an alternate Dark Timeline created by the earth being swallowed by a black hole produced by the Large Hadron Collider.

Orthos, Recurring Evil Henchman wrote:

Dark Lord Scintillatrix wrote:

Orthos, Recurring Evil Henchman wrote:

Scintillae wrote:

Orthos wrote:

Good on them for getign rid of the scumbag.

How cluelessly idiotic can you get? Or has he just spent his life that insulated from any sort of critical thought and opposition entirely?

Yes.

And maybe I'm being needlessly unkind, but my immediate impression on the photo was that text post describing someone as "you can tell his inner monologue is just the noise a microwave makes."

The microwave can be a LOT more erudite than that guy.

(10:30 for the actual song. Everything before that is construction detail.)

Damn it, henchman! I am not sacrificing another maintenance employee for your microwave remixes. Do you have any idea how much of a pain it is to get a properly trained employee to sign all those NDAs and ignore a few deliberate OSHA violations?!

But I need a cool boss theme for my recurring appearances that is noticeably different from the usual boss track and also won't get tiresome from repeated listening!

Your whinging is tiresome from repeated listening. Now go tend the radioactive alligator moat.

Aww man, I always lose a perfectly good boot and attached foot to those guys. At least the radiation gives me decent chances of growing a couple spares.

Orthos, Recurring Evil Henchman wrote:

Scintillae wrote:

Orthos wrote:

Good on them for getign rid of the scumbag.

How cluelessly idiotic can you get? Or has he just spent his life that insulated from any sort of critical thought and opposition entirely?

Yes.

And maybe I'm being needlessly unkind, but my immediate impression on the photo was that text post describing someone as "you can tell his inner monologue is just the noise a microwave makes."

The microwave can be a LOT more erudite than that guy.

(10:30 for the actual song. Everything before that is construction detail.)

Damn it, henchman! I am not sacrificing another maintenance employee for your microwave remixes. Do you have any idea how much of a pain it is to get a properly trained employee to sign all those NDAs and ignore a few deliberate OSHA violations?!

But I need a cool boss theme for my recurring appearances that is noticeably different from the usual boss track and also won't get tiresome from repeated listening!

Orthos wrote:

Good on them for getign rid of the scumbag.

How cluelessly idiotic can you get? Or has he just spent his life that insulated from any sort of critical thought and opposition entirely?

Yes.

And maybe I'm being needlessly unkind, but my immediate impression on the photo was that text post describing someone as "you can tell his inner monologue is just the noise a microwave makes."

The microwave can be a LOT more erudite than that guy.

(10:30 for the actual song. Everything before that is construction detail.)

Orthos, Post-Singularity wrote:

Woran wrote:

Drejk wrote:

Orthos wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

She could move to TN all things will be open soon. shortly I imagine before they close again because everyone in TN will have the Covid.

I heard you guys had a huge one day jump.

So many people are going to die, between things like this, governors in Iowa and Texas and no doubt elsewhere saying if you DON'T return to work when they reopen that's a "voluntary quit" and you lose all unemployment benefits, and the attorney general threatening to sue states that don't reopen.

Can we just cancel this country and put California in charge?

You know that practically means splintering USA at best (to an accompaniment of booming Russian and Chinese laughter), and an another Civil War at worst?

Quote:

They seem to have their heads on straight for this thing at least

Exactly what would cause the war.

I'm still saying we should launch the USA into space. On general principles.

I mean, I'm all in favor of going to space, but I'm imagining this doesn't include proper safety protocols.

No, its more or less sacrificing the good with the bad.

Yeah I'm gonna have to vote against that.

Could an ant, or a series of ants, make it to your brain if they crawled up your nose while you sleep?

I REALLY don't like where this is going.

I don't like where this is going.

[Tarantino discussion]

I have no strong feelings one way or the other.

EDIT: And they call me Doctor Love...

Doctor Strangelove, maybe. ;)

Vanykrye wrote:

Orthos wrote:

The Vagrant Erudite wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

The South bites.

It did before the virus, and it will after.

Forever and ever, Amen.

Orthos...you didn't have to put that song in my head. You really didn't.

Orthos gets cookies.

nom nom nom nom nom

Scintillae wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

Bad Dint. Bad.

I mean, she is evil, what did you expect?

Vanykrye wrote:

But...what protects us from us?

The general balance between laziness brilliance and desire to do evil

I'd put up an argument but I can't be bothered.

It's alive! It's alive!!!

My moneys on the more evil option.

DeathQuaker wrote:

2) Sorry, but Dad is right. Milk is a product where if it tastes fine, it is fine. There is no secret evil usually developing within it that is undetectable.

That's what the budding villain wants you to think.

Am henchman, can confirm.

Orthos wrote:

Apparently Scint's students are obsessed with finding me, with next to no luck.

I find this strangely amusing.

those brave kids.

Let me provide an instructional video.

and Orthos hunting gear

and Orthos catching devices

My feet aren't THAT big....

Recurring villains are like salt: A small amount can spice up an adventure. An overdose makes it unpalatable. More than that and it's like rubbing salt in wounds.

And FF XIV definitely hits the third tier. In spades.

I'm more of a pepper guy, myself.

SHUN THE NONBELIEVER! SHUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Huh. Never would have guessed "General Purposes".

Obviously.

Isn't that Cap's wife?

Jamesbot, epoch 10:

worship worship asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus asmodeus...

ROCK ME ASMODEUS!!!

It's gonna be gone, man.

Drejk wrote:

Just a Mort wrote:

Yeah we watched Star Wars the Last Jedi. It was nice if uhh unrealistic at some parts(bad guys spend too much time bragging).

Taking into account the amount of times Nazi leaders bragged around... There is nothing unrealistic about that part...

Really? I didnt know that! I thought ebul villian monologue was just confined to stuff run by GM Mort, because GM Mort watches too much Disney and cannot resist doing an ebul villian monologue before (unsuccessfully) trying to murderhobo the adventurers.

You sly dog! You got me monologuing!

Freehold DM wrote:

Lance Bombardier Orthos wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Orthos wrote:

I do not have kind views regarding cyclists of the non-motorized variety, as many here know. So I'll refrain from contributing more directly to that conversation. It shan't end well if I did.

LET US DO BATTLE ORTHOS!

Kay.

i could easily see you just pressing the "destroy everything" button while stifling a yawn...

He better not. That is my button, and I will cut him.

I'll respawn like I always do =)

Orthos, Recurring Evil Henchman wrote:

Cookies?

Gives them a red shirt.

Shut up and go in that cave! I'm, not, paying you next week, for nothing.

Woo! This'll cover up all the blood!

<enters cave, dies, respawns>

Aww, I lost it with the rest of my loot when I died again.

Cookies?

It's alive! It's ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!

I've always wanted to say that.

And then there's that one antagonist that you beat countless times, yet keeps getting away at the last second... only to show up again down the road, stronger, and yet the process repeats....