Would someone like to talk to me about the insecurities surrounding these plagiarism issues ?
Come on: you know you want to...
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Verily, I must confess that I quite like Pathfinder's take on the Gnomish race. Maniaco-depressive little bummers...
Indeed. I shan't follow you in the deepest recesses of your tortured psyche !
Well, brother, for all your constraining goodiness, it seems I've won this thread !
Well, well, well... It has been a long time since I paid a visit to this delusional thread and its megalomaniacal residents. This is not a judgment value, of course. I've been professionaly trained to not do these (and it's a good thing for you, too). You are obviously all uncomfortable around a strong mother figure... Who would like to talk first ? You don't need to be afraid.
Zigman Fraud is banned for not acknowledging the power of mind over matter.
Ho, Zigman... you still have these fantasies where you're a psychiatrist ? It's a classic case of becoming infatuated with a savior-like figure - myself, as it were - and trying to emulate it. My stellar psychologist skills, alas, make me a near-perfect object for my poor bedraggled "clients" to hallucinate about. I'm doomed to leave my mark on the very souls I'm trying to liberate from themselves. Such is the price for greatness, I think. ... Ho: guess who "wins" this childish game of yours ? ... But I shoud not tease: I can see how your mama was rough on you during your formative years.
[*from a safe distance*] Red Lantern Road Rage, I strongly condemn your headbutt. But I understand it: my dear brother can be so passive-agresssive. I feel that a part of him, deep down, wants to be punished.
Ho my, you poor creature ! Trying to terminate your impotent existence... Perhaps that's for the best, though. How could you heal the grievous psychological wounds inflicted by the matriarchy, you motherless puppet ?
Haaa ! [*flees*]
[*looks inebriated*] Hey...brurps !!.. Spanky, had one too many... groaan!... slaps on the head from your momma ?
I'm gonna put it on ! I deserve nice things for I do good. ... AAAAAAAAAAARG ! IT BURNS ! MY FACE ! The next poster is no stranger to Bugs Bunny.
[*comfortably seated in a comfy chair at the top of Bodan Hill. Through his spyglass, looks at the conflagration a seemingly safe distance away*] Those two unbalanced individuals display clear symptoms of... AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGG ! [*catches fire due to supernova proximity*]
I'm a tolerant man, I think, but I can't stand mangy beasts. Where are their owners, I wonder ? No matter : I WIN ! (My, that felt good ! in a very pedestrian kind of way.)
Do you need to be understood, El Dios de Los Almas Perdidas ? [*looks idly around. Spots Mila*] Ho my god, it's Mother ! [*flies away, huffing and puffing, on his short stubby legs*]
Ho, J.R.R: you are my quiet hero ! Isn't your book a masterpiece of epic tragedy, portraying the deepest recesses of evil beaten down by the irrepressible dignity of the commmon folk - the delicious hobbits ? No, it is not. It is painfully obvious to the trained psychologist that you suffered under an abusive over-achieving stultifying and castrating abomination of a mother. Sauron is your little brother, isn't he ? A brethren upon whom you mercilessly projected your own inadequacies. He was Sauron so you could choose not to wear the One ring ! It is obvious ! It is inescapable ! It is SCIENCE ! [*swoons while drifting in the heady currents of certainty*] ... You're banned for your own good, J.R.R. You can thank me later. I care for you, but I don't know if you can ever truly be saved.
Furniture Merchant is banned for being over-assertive. Would you like to lie down and discuss your (sad) life story, Furniture Merchant ? [smiles jovially while wiping a bead of sweat on his forehead]
You all seem to have inflated egos. But I can help. Tell me about your mothers...
Glasya Labolas: a special secret lipstick gloss that Legolas of Middle-Earth fame used to apply to his precious pretty lips to make them appear super luscious. Discarded after an off-hand comment made by Gimli the dwarf about the supposed "elven-manliness" of Legolas. Sisratoom
[a voice from the sky] "You all seem very occupied. In the meantime, I win ! Your mothers would not be proud of you !
Your mama was mean to you, wasn't she ? I can help. I know how rough life can be with less-endowed individuals, sometimes...
Fraud Freud looks at Dr. Sigmund and Zigman Fraud M.D. "I must tell you something... Dave." A whiff of smoke comes unexpectedly out of his left nostril, while a strong ozone smell permeates the air. His right arm trembles with a strange whirring sound. "I had no childhoooooood...... Da... Daveeeee. I aaaaaa... aaaam... affffffraiiiiiid, Daveeeeeeee." A crackle. A pop. Something goes haywire inside the portly frame. And then Fraud Feud's neck snaps open, revealing electronic insides, while his head falls sideways on his shoulder. The electronic lenses that are his eyes freeze in a non-living glare. "Beeeeen... Aaaafffffllll. lllll... eck... eck." And Fraud Freud remains silent thereafter.
Burning Straw Man is banned for having serious anger management issues. Were you always this insecure ?
The slumped shape of the Fraud begins to move, while he awakens on the cold hard floor. He finally manages to get on his feet, swinging unsteadily. he looks around him, taking in the audience with glazed eyes, while nursing his battered head. At last he focuses his gaze on the Duke of Disgorge. "B... Ben Affleck ?"
Amazon Princess Diana is banned for being over-empowered.
Fraud Freud looks annoyed at having been interrupted during one of his favorite ethical activities. "Having problem with competition, IceHawk333, aren't we, hmmmm ?" "I can see why being the 333th in a nest could lead to deep-seated insecurities." F. Fraud makes a gourmet face and rubs his hands together "Tell me all about your worries, IceHawk3333. I am here to help."
Fraud Freud makes a contrived sad face at Dr. Sigmund. "Also, "Dr." Sigmund, I am somewhat sorry, but my professional ethics command that I ask of you : have you stopped beating your wife... yet ?"
"What just a minute there. You have gone and copied my darn alias. You fraud." The many-jowled man arches a mocking eyebrow at Dr. Sigmund. "Is that so, doctor ?... You seem pretty insecure if my mere presence were to cast doubts on your reality." The portly man smiles sweetly. "And who said you were the first Dr. Sigmung, anyway ?"
The portly man smiles sweetly. "Do you have feelings of inadequacy ? It's very common, you know. You can tell me: I'm here to help."
The portly man looks at the Matt Damon puppet with a seemingly benevolent smile. "Hello there ! So, you think you're a puppet ? Interesting, I dare say." |