Last one to post wins

Forum Games

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Your mama was mean to you, wasn't she ? I can help. I know how rough life can be with less-endowed individuals, sometimes...

[draws a sandwich ingeniously carved in the shape of the gun. And then frozen]

Analyse that, Lorraine Braco !

[the frozen gun sandwich fires an actual bullet. Fraud Freud is shot in the head. Insta kill !]

Yeah. Bedtime stories are over ! I'm tough !

And I win... and you better give me 10% of what you earn. This is MY city/thread !

Munch Munch

[munches on the don gnome. Caught by surprise, he can only manage to sing a cheesy opera aria with vaguely sicilian overtone before disappearing]

Munch... munch... munch....

I see that we have a misunderstanding here. I win, you lose, that's it. Is any of that unclear?

So much business. All the arguing with himself. Fawful is filled with the sadness. Gnome of baldness is make of the pity.

Falawful is making my head hurt.

That is because your head is full of the confusion! Sense is for the weak!

[eyes the Vicious Fowl with abstract hunger]

Munch... Munch... win... munch

[eyes Fawful's hair with an herbivorous interest]

Munch ? Munch... Munch...


*barbecues the deer-headed menace*


*sets the annoying pale gnome on fire*

*recalls that Quiche Lisp is kinda pale and ignites him as well*

I won't be eating that !

Thanks, anyway. Sock-puppets are so gauche !

*boils the seas where the talkative diver swims*

Crunchy on the outside, meaty inside.

Ouch, Hotness! It is the overheat!

*considers crispy fried serpent, but is unsure of the idea*

[tries to utter another bon mot, but something happens to the seas around him. Dies drowned in a gush of steam bubbles]

*is satisfied for the moment...*

[tries to sneak and comes behind the Dragon of Agnor's back while carrying a frozen frog sammich]

*burninates the peasant*

He is legally obligated to "burninate" peasants, it was part of the homestarrunner settlement. Rearrange the letters of his name and you can clearly spell 'Trogdor'.

[jumps trying to catch VCoF]

"Woof ! Grrr ! Groooo ! Woooffff !!!

"Yummie Dragon is my favorite snack."

Unhinges jaw and somehow swallows the Dragon of Agnor. "No more dragon. he was yummie."

*cannot be eaten by a filthy orc*

*fries the dog and the burns the stink off of The Nasty Orc*


"YIP YIP YIP.............."

*flies off and takes a nap*

*will immolate the current winner upon waking up*

Enough! Enough with the flames I say!

*snorts a gout of flame in anger*

*turns Dave into Ghost Rider by setting his head on fire*

Lantern Lodge

[lights a cigarette, draws a long puff out of it. Rearranges his lustrous black hair]

"And what have you come here for, mister Tennant ?"

Lantern Lodge

[without waiting for an answer, discard his burned-out cig, calls a cab and has himself driven to an airport]

*burns down the airport*

"Bullying the little people again, Dragon of Agnor, he ? Wanna try to take on someone your size for a change ?"

*flaps his wings repeatedly and extinguishes Jony*

*then reignites him*

Lantern Lodge

[was not in the cab. Was clever misdirection. Watches from a good vantage point while the airport burns]

[shakes his head]


*lands on Xu's head*

Hey, Dragon! He's over here!

[shakes his head]

"Bah ! Dragons !"

[teleports away]

*flies to Xu with a bottle of ketchup in his talons*

Lantern Lodge

[watches the black bird from a superior vintage point in his Zhanzen Mark VI red helicopter with his Wang Bin nite-light binoculars, as the bird alights on his animatronic puppet, far below]

[shakes his head]

"Vicious Chicken. Of Bristol..."

[watches the dragon making his approach of the animatronic on red wings of destruction]

[to the pilot]""Take us out of there, Beckett. There's nothing left for us here."

[muses while the helicopter swiflty takes him away from all the commotion]

I should thank Frau Sissyl next time I see her, for the puppet thing.

[shivers a bit from the cold... unless it's the reminiscing of the Matt Damon Atrocity, as he's secretly dubbed the demonic creation of Frau Sissyl]

*burns the Xu Hanzhin puppet to ash and begins the dreaded ritual to summon the Matt Damon Puppet*

*sucks up ritual components with his Vacuum Helmet and flies away*

Wuhuahahah! Jackpotting! Easy as bread sandwiches.

*toasts the gnome and some bread*

*unleashes cold breath from Vacuum Helmet*

Lizard dragon has great foolishness! Preparations have completion! Fawful does have not the frightfulness!

[a steampunk video device made with brass, wire and rum bottles materializes in mid-air amid much sooty smoke. The image of His Endowed Gnomosity appears on the curved surface, and speaks to the dragon in a grating metallic voice]

"You can't tell the difference between a gnome and a derro ? You are the peasant !"

Then the steampunk device extends a pincer which steals Fawful's vacuum helmet.

"Hehehehe. Huhuhuh" Quiche Lisp's image utters while gloating at Fawful.

*immolates Quiche's device*

*remains attached to his helmet*

You are wanting Fawful's headgear? You are not getting! Have great fury!!

*Vacuum helmet eats the pincer's arm, then the rest of the vid projector*

Toastiness! And now a gizmo battle will unfold like an angry dip of many layers on the chips of wildest hopes! Snack on my wrath, fink-rat!!

*picks up the derro by the scruff of the neck and tosses him into a volcano*

[teleports in]

"You're fortunate, lord Dragon, that I have no interest in saving this mad weasely waif of a derro, or i'd kick your butt !"

[teleports out]

[Sigh] "No ! Re-fortuna is not for me: I am but a wretch cast adrift in the abyss of life ! All is devoid of depth, though, for I am in debt, through and through."

[bubbles bubbles]

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