Bowl of Petunias's page

The smu rfer wrote:

How did you avoid the Smu rfyfication process? It usually sm urfs everybody blue.

it's unicodly sm urfin fishy

{squints non-existent eyes suspiciously}

Also praise Sara Marie that I had the forethought to buy a beach towel in case anyone fell in (no one did) and I brought the company bowling ball to keep everyone loose and motivated during breaks.

Praise Sara Marie that The Captain is such a frood.

I had a cheese panini and a packet of very average peanuts for lunch, so you beat me there.

You're going to need a second packet of peanuts and three pints of beer before you leave work in the matter transference beam.

"Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so."

Secret?! There’s no point in acting surprised about it. All the chord charts and lyrics have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you’ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now.

Ah crap, I misread the title.

Hey baby, how you doing? [/Joey Tribbiani]

57) The prototype for drift technology was the infinite improbability drive. On first startup, it turned Golarion into a blue whale, and all history dating back 1000 years as a potted plant whose only thought was 'oh no, not again.'

All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again.

{shakes leafy fist} Non-union bastard!

Your Creepy Neighbor wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Everyone loves a LOG!

If only that were true, I wouldn't have these restraining orders.

Some people have no sense of humor.

And no sense of romance.

Also, tomatoes and peppers pr0n. (Link totally safe for work.)

Tomorrow morning i shall venture forth and take pictures of the bent tomato cage.

If i don't make it back, tell my wife i say "Hello"

Morning is when it feeds.

Do you drink coffee or eat eggs? Coffee grounds, old (cold) coffee, and egg shells are good for tomatoes.* Especially the eggshells, the calcium helps prevent the black rot in the ends of the tomato fruit from calcium deficiency.**

* Apologies if you already know this.

** Most hybrid tomato strains are much more resistant to this than heirloom varieties, from my experience anyway.

I'd chase after you, but my knee isn't what it used to be, and then I'll give up the high ground of my porch, and you never know when those damn teenagers will start loitering on my yard.

Also, if you keep his attention focused on you standing on the porch, Audrey III the Tomato Plant gets a +4 circumstance bonus on her Stealth checks to ambush him.

There's even a chance that in the future Earthlings will be called Petunia Clippings, for reasons I can't begin to fathom. And if that happens, it is the correct word.

Oh no, not again. {makes Perception check vs. stealthy falling whales}

Aranna wrote:

~replants the petunias in her spider infested garden where the webbing should keep them out of trouble~

Assimilates Aranna's spider infested garden.

Oh no, not again.

Dammit. Another one. Well, petunias, you have your target.

{in Jean Reno accent} 5000 quatlos a head. No wisterias, no kids, that's the rules.

Edit: {covers self with leaves}

Freehold DM wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

The Whedonverse wrote:

sniffs deeply, his stolen youth.

Oh, man! This is exactly what I needed to create next superhero ensemble. Agent Carter in Bedknobs & Broomsticks

I blame Freehold for this.

but...I warned everyone!

Your warning set in motion a quantum-level event which leaves us trapped in a newly-created parallel timeline full of Whedonizations.

Wait, are you sure that was Freehold? That sounds much more like something Rip "Captain The Worst" Hunter would do.

Hama wrote:

Did you notice that the time master dude mentioned Thanagar? Where hawk people come from? So which origin are they going with?

They could tie the meteor that empowered Shayera, Carter and Vandal Savage to Thanagar, somehow, I suppose, having it taken the hawk-peeps a couple thousand years to figure out where the missing whatever-it-was-that-makes-people-immortal/reincarnative/their leaders got off to.

At the end, when Cabbage was monologuing about not needing the Time Masters because he has a timeship, I started wondering if...

I'm off on a three mile round trip walk to the store for coffee and toilet paper. The staples of every American morning.

It's super nice out and everything has that spring glow.

Hey, hey buddy... yeah, you... looking for some dandelions? C'mon man, first snort is free...

Troglodytes and Vegepygmies also could use some fleshing out, for that matter.

There's a 2-page article on vegepygmies in Wayfinder #8.

...It's time to stop waffling and say, unequivocally, with no margin for error, "I will give it a shot!...as long as nothing crazy comes up, like me getting super sick or my dog dying or my roof being caved in by falling sperm whales! Huzzah!"

Ugh, don't get me started.

A pricking of roseblood sprites

A ___________ of boggards

Just so long as you accept Drejk's new mattress is God (or a God if that's your thing) :-)

Hail Lord Zem of Sqornshellous Zeta! {flollops obsequiously}

Paging Mr. Wowbagger, paging Mr. Bowerick Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged to Zolanoteph's self-esteem, please.

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

I'm calling it: Ultron will go down in one of two ways. Either he'll be tied up somehow, or he'll be eaten by a giant whale.

I talked it over with M. Night and decided the most unexpected thing would be to show the whale, but then at the last minute, kill Ulty with a bowl of petunias. What a twist, eh? Eh?

Oh no, not again.

Oh no, not again.

But....but.....what about the flower? How will we bake a cake without the flour?

{fearfully hides under sink}

{sarcastically:} Hey buddy, thanks for blocking the light. Some of us are photosynthesizing here!

Pterodactwhale

Oh no, not again.

{sighs} Last time I was watered was by that passing poodle--Ugh!

{flinches momentarily at a possibly whale-shaped shadow}

I can smell the writing on the wall and that time is petunia time.

{wakes up} Snnnnnrk, wha-? Oh, I'm still here. Nuts.

F~!$ing lilacs, always gotta cut in front of everyone.

WHAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOO!!

*a fiendish goldfish, a spatula, a shrunken head, and a bowl of petunias pop into existence*

Oh no, not again.