[Humorous] 1001 Explanations for the Disappearance of Golarion / Gap


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Because.

Silver Crusade

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63. Mike Nelson.


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64. The "gods" kept receiving complains that magic was too powerful, so they decided to change the rules by hiding golarion and all its power away, which in turn reduced magic in the universe so the weaklings who couldnt access it didnt feel so bad.

Scarab Sages

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Nox Aeterna wrote:
64. The "gods" kept receiving complains that magic was too powerful, so they decided to change the rules by hiding golarion and all its power away, which in turn reduced magic in the universe so the weaklings who couldnt access it didnt feel so bad.

Wow. Passive aggressive much?

Grand Lodge

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65. Barry messed with the time line again

Dark Archive

66. It was decided that it was time for Pathfinder 2.0, and so Starfinder was released.


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67. In the universal backups of... the universe, physical form and memory are two different .dat files. A disaster still somewhere in our future occurred and forced a system restore, but unfortunately the there was a (few) millennia difference between uncorrupted physical and memory backups. Faced with loosing millions of years of progress, the IT guy decided it wouldn't hurt to use the nonsyncronized files.


Violet Hargrave wrote:
Because.

Debeverages water away from the computer Oh, that. :D

Sovereign Court

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68. It was proven that Fighters were not a weak class, and all the Schrodinger's Wizard's heads exploded taking the planet with them.

Scarab Sages

69) A mythic stupid power-Gamey barbarian power gamed SO HARD that he was actually more powerful than Rovagug. Erasing him, his build options, and any trace of existence of him was they only way to shut him down.


Torag wasn't happy with paizo and thus sealed golarion away and leaving few secret ways to the planet through long forgotten portals


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70) A barbarian decided to throw Golarian into the moon and rolled a nat 20.

Scarab Sages

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71) It was eaten by a grue.


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Starfinder Superscriber
Violet Hargrave wrote:
Arutema wrote:
Cayden Cailean and the universe's worst drunk driving accident.
Fortunately, his clerics are hard at work rolling sticky balls around everywhere hoping to collect enough random debris to form a suitable, if cow heavy, replacement.

This has to be the single best katamari damacy reference I have ever read in a thread!


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72) The Krogan.


Nox Aeterna wrote:
64. The "gods" kept receiving complains that magic was too powerful, so they decided to change the rules by hiding golarion and all its power away, which in turn reduced magic in the universe so the weaklings who couldnt access it didnt feel so bad.

This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.


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73: A single Skill Check failure


0xfffe. A critical mass of gremlins formed a gravity well which created a pocket universe.


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Belabras wrote:


71) It was eaten by a grue.

Nice.


75: torag lost a bet with chthulhu ( who's elder name I can not spell)


Very close, Steelfiredragon.

Cthulhu.

His cousin Bl'syu is not nearly as impressive or popular.


Much like Craig Christ... sorely under rated professionals living in the shadows of their brother's success.


Nox Aeterna wrote:
64. The "gods" kept receiving complains that magic was too powerful, so they decided to change the rules by hiding golarion and all its power away, which in turn reduced magic in the universe so the weaklings who couldnt access it didnt feel so bad.

77. Nethys got fed up with his followers' constant power trips and left in a huff. The other gods agreed with prejudice, and got a bit overeager.


Pathfinder Card Game Subscriber
Belabras wrote:


71) It was eaten by a grue.

Suddenly solar eclipses aren't fun anymore.


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78. Die Vecna Die!

(I hope someone gets the reference.)


The war against Rovagug destroyed most nonhuman species and seriously reshaoed the continents. So the gods stuck it in an anti magic zone and renamed it after their favorite elemental plane. Fire, they named it Fire.


Starfinder Superscriber

79. Cayden Cailean got a 404 error when looking up where he should be placing a new temple and had to reboot the whole thing.


80. The Min-Maxers finally succeeded.

Scarab Sages

Voidbane wrote:

78. Die Vecna Die!

(I hope someone gets the reference.)

Still trying to get me to forget pre-faction war factions!


81. Pentadimensional Metaminds
~fought bitterly with the ~
Overlords of the Fifth World,
and Golarion was an inevitable casualty of the Battlespace.

read this: Go to FIFTH WORLD.

~~~

82. I blame Grigori Rasputin and his threaded soul

Scarab Sages

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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber

83. Something went horribly wrong in the Blackross Museum. Again.


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84. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!


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85. Captain Killjoy had something to do with it.


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86. Some GM successfully integrated Psionics into the game in a balanced way.

Aaaand it's gone . . . . .


Starfinder Superscriber

87. Goblins in the operating system, Golarion needed a clean boot.


VampByDay wrote:
57) The prototype for drift technology was the infinite improbability drive. On first startup, it turned Golarion into a blue whale, and all history dating back 1000 years as a potted plant whose only thought was 'oh no, not again.'

All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again.


Hartbaine wrote:
Much like Craig Christ... sorely under rated professionals living in the shadows of their brother's success.

"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"


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88. It was bought by Wizards from the Coast and the original world developers either left or were fired. In an attempt to draw in more revenue, the new owners tried to simplify everything by compressing it all togather. The result was unrecognizable and quickly erased.

I hear they are trying to recreate Golarion from scratch now, but all the numbers confused them.


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89. They haven't finished moving the data to the new server yet


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90. a series of poorly worded wishes, and others poorly worded to undo the previous,

and a trip to the Djinni homeland and then an escalation into something like the Butterfly Effect on PCP.


91. A Ysoki found The Devourer’s keyboard and made a typo out of excitement.


Starfinder Superscriber

92. A Space Goblin got lost in the All Code.


93) The space code got lost in all the goblins.

Silver Crusade

Magical cataclysm of the not-evocation-kind.

O, is this thread marked humorous? I mean....
"Nabisco overrun by Aboleths."

Silver Crusade

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Egyptoid wrote:

90. a series of poorly worded wishes, and others poorly worded to undo the previous,

and a trip to the Djinni homeland and then an escalation into something like the Butterfly Effect on PCP.

That's... actually right on point.

"Oh Hell.... There goes the planet...."
"I... I just wished Golarion were free from alien influence....!"
"Nono- it's ok! The last thing we should do is panic! We can make this work- We can... We can figure this out..."
**4 hours of planning later**
"I wish that the solar system's configuration wasn't disrupted by the previous wish made on this device! ....Is...is it back?"
"It's a space station."
"It's too big to be a space station. Let's focus: How many more charges does that thing have?"
"Six."
"My Gods."
"My turn-!"
"NOOOOO!"


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95) Paizo released Second Edition and the fanbase literally exploded.


Starfinder Superscriber

96) Rock and roll music. Always blame the music.


DJEternalDarkness wrote:
96) Rock and roll music. Always blame the music.

Actually it was orc and troll music.


Disney bought it. Why you ask? Because the Mouse want's to own EVERYTHING!

Grand Lodge

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2e) Golarion was actually destroyed in the great edition wars of 4918-4919 AR. The gods saw fit to wipe every record of that war and its many atrocities-too-horrible-for-man-to-comprehend.

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