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"Run TO the weapon. Pick UP the weapon. Ready the weapon. Fire the weapon At the targets. Well.. what are you waiting for?" the ensuring stampede of dwarf knees and human feet knocked the small mouse girl in an ill fitting cap to the ground, drawing a squeek as someone stepped on her tail. By the time she scrambled to the line only one weapon was left. A ysoki grease gun, obviously made since the occupation. They had a not entirely undeserved reputation for catching on fire or exploding but this one looked safe enough. Just point at the target and...
From the relative safety of 40 feet and a sandbag wall Drill Sergeant Hammish watched a hole bloom in the middle Concrete Hobgoblin cut out, its center of mass, upper legs, and groin vanishing in a hail of lead.
"FINALLY. One of you that might be worth your draft papers. HOLD FIRE Who's that on the end!" A dwarf , now furthest to the right, paused from reloading a battery into a laser. Looked around, and pointed to the stack of ammo 20 feet back from the line. There the smoking barrel of a ysoki grease gun , and all four limbs of a ysoki were pointing up in the air as they both recovered from the recoil.
"Iomadae's codpiece, Someone get him something lighter. And don't get my hopes up like that!"
"Sorry sir I'll figure something out si..." sitting up in her private bunk on the Last chance, Melissa reached around in the dark, picked up her hardhat and put it on, blue lights blinking on as she activated her suits corrective visor. She had figured something out eventually, just hadn't had the credits or the need until now. On the chalkboard she crossed out mk 4 and wrote in 5. The articulated frame occupied one hand and now extended to her tail. An allen wrench locked in a large pnematic gun with two transparent aluminum spheres. She turns this way and that checking the fit and mobility as she heads to the docking bay and sets an egg timer.
DING A scrap robot head flies up. Two spheres fly on opposite sides of the head and Warrrhhooogh a bolt of lightning bettween them. DING two painted wooden targets swing down. The spheres fly back to the gun, then out, zapping one target but not the other.
"Damit" the ysoki Jumps up to the bottom of a ladder and does 10 chin ups, lands, and fires the gun again. Misses. Jumps up 15 chin ups. Months of hauling boxes, a late growth spurt, and most of all actual food courtesy of Del have caused her to bulk up a bit under her fluff. The third shot hits. "I just. want. To haul. Boxes. But noooo.. You need to keep dumping me into this chiitter" Cathunk Reset shoot BZZZZZZTTTTTT 20 chin ups I'. Don't have. to win. But. I am going. to make you. work for it." BBBZZZZZZT.
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After the political protests, witch hunts and insurrections subside, third meal becomes a lively center of conversation between Strek and Melissa:
Him teaching her Vesk...
"Alright, so, as you've probly noticed, Vesk bare their teeth a lot when they speak. It's not just because they want to eat your spleen. It could also be because they want to eat your liver. More vitamins. And understanding a Vesk's dietary health is key to connecting with them. No, that's not a pun."
And her teaching him Ysoki...
"Huh. Brenneri and Ysoki is surprisingly similar," He says as he produces one of his telltale toothpicks and wiggles it on the side of his mouth to demonstrate a painfully slow letter-by-letter akin to hunting-and-pecking on an old fashioned keyboard. "And I can always consume more caffeine to help keep up speed."
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"Yeah well being near the bottom of the food chain is just life for a ysoki. We don't mind"
Ugh. No. If you're making the sign for insert part and twist THAT slowly its going to take on a completely different context, and the you're either going to get slapped in the face or lose five minutes you should be working. If we pull on your ears do they get bigger? The redundancy there would be useful.
"How about this instead?"
Strek morphs a leg into an arm, stretches it up and over his head, and waggles those fingers around.
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Akh takes a trek through a series of cybernetics specialists until he finds one willing to install a custom set of jet boosters into his behind. Unluckily for Akh, the particular engineer he chooses considers herself a mechanical artiste. When Akh gets out of the shop, he finds that boosters have been installed all over the tip of his tail, along his spine, and around the frills of his head. They also shoot "radical" red flames whenever activated. It's a bit much.
"If you want to go even faster, we can paint flames on you."
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"And install some lights underneath you so that they shine on the ground as you move."
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"If you want to go even faster, we can paint flames on you."
"The mechanic who installed these recommended that, but I'm not a car. Everyone knows that only works on cars and spaceships." Akh coughs.
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After about a week, your corporate spheremail account Info@BullseyeShippingLLC.com receives a message. Dear BULLSEYE SHIPPING LLC. Thank you for your service to the Veskarium. Attached is a voucher for four Build Points, for your work in unveiling the true perpetrators of REDACTED, the REDACTED. The actions of REDACTED go against the honor and ethos of the Veskarium, and will be dealt with accordingly. Please sign and return the attached Non Disclosure Agreements with your genetic signatures. In return for your discretion and valor, you will be sent 9,000 credits and the empire's thanks. A personal message appears to have been tacked on to the end of the official message. I'm aware things haven't worked out the way some of you would have wanted. Know that Internal Affairs is aware of REDACTED and is working to pull their "claws" out of the other arms of the government. Hopefully we do not need to worry about them any longer. I've also attached my friend code on Farminals 3000. If you accept my request, you'll get thirty thousand bells to start out your compound. See you online! - Captain Fireheart
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Coming back from a day of shopping at the Marixah markets, you see a blinking indicator on the Last Chance's bridge. Your fixer, Tarika, appears on video. Her brenneri fur, normally well groomed, is in disarray and her voice is more subdued than usual. "Hey friends. I heard from Yatraxo that you were able to unload the minerals. That's great news. Her message must have been a bit drift-garbled though, I could have sworn she mentioned a prison break? No matter." Your former Company dispatcher and now fixer sighs, her usual sunny disposition missing. "Come meet me in Absalom Station. I've got a job for you, then something a bit more personal I need to ask. Come as soon as you can."
Before your crew departs for the Pact Worlds, Guess? points out (as usual) that you might want to pick up a cargo to help fund the voyage. After all, Absalom Station is the center of Near Space interplanetary trade, and finding something that you can sell there won’t take long.
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Guess? seems to confuse Lindol and Yatraxo throughout their stay on the Last Chance and happily concludes the storm running mineral transaction as soon as they regain their true memories.
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When the goblins recover, Guess? demands, "Your HOT has once again saved your sorry bee-hinds!! One day, when HOT needs assistance, you'll repay the HOT favor!"
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Talking to Fireheart, "Yep, you and the Veskarium owe us BIG TIME! Saying that we saved the ENTIRE Veskarium from an evil, internal corruption is not even an exaggeration - it's the truth, plain and simple! I think for our efforts and heroic actions, the Veskarium should also recognize each of us individually with citations at the highest level as well as grant preferred trade rights and shipping lane access to Bullseye Shipping LLC. Amirite?!?!"
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When news breaks of Agavana getting shafted, Guess? remarks to the rest of the crew, "Y'see? Doesn't matter if you're on the side of right or wrong. What matters is if you're on the winning side or losing side. And THAT'S why we gotta make sure we stay on the winning side. I don't want any of you, our ship, nor our company getting crushed like a tin can the way Agavana has been crushed."
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Guess? goes searching for some cargo to haul back to Absalom!
Akh nods somberly as the news of Agavana getting raked over the coals comes in "If they can do that to Agavana, let's hope they don't decide to do that to us for getting in the way. Hopefully Captain Fireheart can keep them so busy that they don't get the chance to. Then again, maybe it's time to rebrand as something other than Bullseye Shipping. Maybe Monkey's Paw Shipping?"
"Also, anyone else worried when Tarika has a personal request?"
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"I hope not. Then I"D have to get an unregistered job with the worst mining company on a no name planet and raise my kids in isolation until the vesk empire forgets to kill me and I am too young to be turning into my mother. Maybe if we stay out of their way they'll decide we're not worth it.
Picks up a space otter hygiene kit. Brenerai Bristle Brush. Its got one of those bubblematic things for dispensing and redistributing the oil
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"I'll pick up an extra long kelp scarf. My Brenneri friend Shan always loved hers."
Being much less of silver tongue, Jaraduk will tag along with Guess? and Melissa but let them do the talking. Should the need arrive, he can use his imposing form to convert their delivery offers into the "can't refuse" form.
He did not like the tone in Tarika's message and emails her on the side to ask how she's doing, and if there's anything else he can do to help or cheer her up before they pay her a visit (which he promises they will do soon... tomorrow for sure). She's got him worried and as they look for delivery deals around the Station he seems distracted. He perks up quickly when Akh mentions the same.
Yes Akh, I'm very worried. We need to check on her pronto...
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before seeing Tarika
"I have a plan to get her to talk. Phase one, here" she hands Jaraduk her ysoki brush "Mess up the back fur. I'll ask Tarika to get it, then return the favor. That should get her talking, and if not it gets her to not look like she just rolled out of a file cabinet without having to tell her she looks like she just rolled out of a file cabinet."
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The trio of goblins are happy to oblige Guess?, grateful that their HOT saved them once again. Captain Fireheart, however, is a bit more cautious. "Of course, I will do my best to take care of you all. You have more honor than those in the Scale. I'm sure that the Veskarium will expunge this cancer from within, and pay off your well-earned bounties." The group continues to question why Tarika's normal professional and friendly attitude seems to have changed so drastically.
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Guess? and Melissa put out some feelers in the local market and the usual infosphere boards are only coming up with some pretty basic cargos that aren't worth the time it takes to load them into your bay. After all, you're no longer a group of unemployed ex-EJcorp folks with nothing but a ship. Despite the bumpy route many of your jobs have taken so far, you've managed to line your credsticks with more wealth in the last few months than you've seen throughout the rest of your lives. Then, within hours of starting your search, you get a hit on the sphere-boards. The video message is from a female half-orc. A low-pitched, gravelly voice comes through the speakers. “This is for the Last Chance and her crew. Name’s Verran. I’ve heard you might’ve broken away from some big corporation and gone solo, that you might not be too concerned about the letter of the law. If that’s true, I have a proposition for you. You mentioned heading to the center of the galaxy soon. I need some archaeological relics transported to Absalom Station, where a xenoarchaeologist friend of mine can verify my hunch that they’re ancient hobgoblin artifacts. If you’re interested, reply to this message — but either way, don’t mention it to anybody, yeah?” The smuggler reaches out to close the message, then adds "There's fifteen Blue Print vouchers in it for you. Payable on delivery." She leaves a return address, which routes through a common hosting site used for anonymous limited-time communication.
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Melissa has a jetpack now, so can give Fireheart a big hug on his way out
"I'll see you on farmville when the servers sync up. Just be sure to use timer so you don't... spend TOO long converting loamy sand into sandy loam."
"Is she kidding? I'd give a discount for culturally appropriating hobgoblin antiquities."
That's a big in from the rodent rebellion.
Melissa suggests a 10 BluePrint surcharge if the artifacts
- ⦿Are Cursed
- ⦿ Give A Curse
- ⦿Animate and try to kill us
- ⦿Explode
- ⦿Raise the dead
- ⦿Raise the Undead
- ⦿Cry for help
- ⦿Are mummies
- ⦿+20 Blueprints if the mummies animate
- ⦿+ whatever else the animated mummies trigger on this list
- ⦿were made in a factory that contains nuts
Is not sure if this will let the orc know she's hiring the wrong crew or the right one...
"Anyone know what a non-xeno archeologist would even do? I mean..isn't everyone an alien pretty much anywhere we go?"
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"Is she kidding? I'd give a discount for culturally appropriating hobgoblin antiquities."
Guess? visibly recoils in physical pain and mental horror at the mention of the word 'discount'.
He then responds to the message...
"Thank you for reaching out to Bulllseye Shipping! Your satisfaction is guaranteed! Law, schmaw! Legal rules are a mere triviality for us to handle. Just sit back, relax and be assured that your cargo will get to where you want it!
"Now, I do have to mention however that for every convenience, there is a cost. This week we're having a "blind eye" special whereby we turn all that legal nonsense into aforementioned triviality for you! This cost is an additional 5 BP which is a STEAL! Normally, at full price, we charge upwards of 10!
"In addition, given the sensitive nature of the cargo, we have a standard contingency surcharge for any ancient artifacts. This will not be charged unless any of the following contingencies occur. Note also that this charge is per instance if the artifacts:
- ⦿ Are cursed
- ⦿ Give a curse
- ⦿ Animates and tries to kill productive crew members or paying passengers
- ⦿ Explode
- ⦿ Raise the dead - unless they subsequently qualify as productive crew members
- ⦿ Raise the undead - unless they subsequently qualify as productive crew members
- ⦿ Cry for help
- ⦿ Are mummies or zombies
- ⦿ +20 Blueprints if the mummies or zombies animate - unless they provide a dance performance
- ⦿ + whatever else the animated mummies or zombies trigger on this list
- ⦿ were made in a factory that contains nuts or nuar dairy products
"Please let us know if there are any questions! All terms and conditions negotiable."
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"At this point I get the impression that customers assume transporting safe, legal cargo must be free, and since that's never what we get called for, the payment they offer always includes at least a handful of those bullet points. The fun is in discovering which ones they are."
Before they take off, Strek visits the nearest 99 Credits convenience store to load up on Mk1 Healing Serums, and then picks up a new toy at the neighborhood Microwaves R Us. He lets out a long whistle of approval as he unboxes it back on the ship.
"This is that new Blaze Agitator. Eighty foot range means I can cook popcorn in the galley from the convenience of my room, and the walls in between will double as a night light."
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The fun is in discovering which ones they are."
"Its the one they try to negotiate down. Sort of like how when you read a help wanted add you find out what was wrong with the last guy. Must be willing to work nights and weekends means they wanted to go home on occasion. Must have experience around heavy machinery means you can't be a baby about replacement limbs. That sort of thing."
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Strek furrows his brow in thought for a moment.
"Guess I've been dyslexic about that this whole time. I always thought it went, 'Must have experience replacing limbs'."
"I'll put my credits on 'Cry for Help' and 'Explode'." Akh nods "But at this point, we might as well accept. 15 Blue Prints is a lot of Blue Prints. And if they start cry-sploding, we can just eject them."
"Guess?, can you ask for more information on this Xenoarchaeologist, so we can research them ahead of time and determine if they're some kind of monster in disguise, obvious double-crosser, or related to EJ or the drow in some way?"
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Jaraduk watches over Guess?' shoulder as the team composes the reply.
Do we have stuffed nuar dolls yet to sweeten the deal? We need stuffed plushies of our mascot! That'll usually seal a deal!
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"I'll put my credits on 'Cry for Help' and 'Explode'.""
"You only get one Gue..Bet. " she looks at her bank account and peers. "Alright, I can afford 10 credits on Animated Artifacts." [/b]
Strek furrows his brow in thought for a moment.
"Guess I've been dyslexic about that this whole time. I always thought it went, 'Must have experience replacing limbs'."
"That was moms job. She made it look so easy. Well, cept compared to you. Course if you need a new one its 110 credits, they'll take it out of your pay but let you use installments. had to be pretty much thoqua chow before she couldn't save it though. "
Do we have stuffed nuar dolls yet to sweeten the deal? We need stuffed plushies of our mascot! That'll usually seal a deal!
"I will absolutely spend 10 credits to go print one of those off. For . Uhm. Market testing. What are we naming him? "
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"I will absolutely spend 10 credits to go print one of those off. For . Uhm. Market testing. What are we naming him? "
It's gotta be J-Bull, right?
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Del spends her free time finally shopping for some new clothes. Her old armor was getting threadbare and stained from years of cooking and a few months of non-stop chaos where her life always seemed to be in danger. Most of the blood stains weren't even hers! Though, on second thought, that probably didn't reflect well on her life choices of late....
By the time she rejoins the others they're talking about having Jaraduk stuffed. Or was it a Jaraduk stuffed animal? That must be it. Huh... She hadn't realized Mel and Jaraduk were so close. With a shrug, she casts her vote for its name. "How about Jarad? OOH! Or Mini-J!"
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Only a few minutes after you send your response, the inbox dings again. The half-orc woman appears again. "Of course I calculated in the 5 BP Blind Eye special already. What, you think I'd pay that much if I cared who saw the cargo?" The half-orc winks at the camera.
While it's obvious that Verran wants the job kept secret from law enforcement, because the relics were stolen, you see a deeper reason for the secrecy. If the results don’t suit the political agenda of the Marixah Republic, he intends to bury the xenoarchaeology report so the Gideron Authority can’t make use of it.
"But I'll accept your contingencies. Just some normal, non-dangerous artifacts. I should know, I helped the boys unload them. The xenoarchaeologist's name is Dr. Xan. His address is attached to this message. He's a real professor guy, so don't show up during school hours, ya hear? Might get awkward, turning up at a lecture with artifacts that don't have all the right papers." She uses air quotes around the word, showing her derision for the standard process. "Sending the address now. I'll be there for the next two hours, show up or lose my number." She gives you a wide, and definitely fake, smile then ends the message. Your datapad tells you it's only about a half hour flight away, with a private landing pad. Bets placed on what terrible horrible no-good very bad surprise is coming along with this shipment, you head out. Verran opens up the large doors as you arrive, muscles bristling. "I'd heard good things about y'all from some friends of mine. I can see they weren't kidding. Alright, I hope you brought your working feet. Be careful with these, I'm told they're harder to examine when broken." You carefully head into the warehouse behind her, which has a ton of security posts surrounding a few boxes that all say DELICATE and THIS SIDE UP on them. She wheels out some hover carts and gets to work alongside you. One of the boxes falls off her cart about halfway through the process and she just frowns, then hefts it onto her shoulder and looks at you with a funny look. "What? It's not like it's radioactive or something. Just more work for the nerds on the other end." She shrugs and delicately places it on top of the pile. After getting the couple boxes in the bay, she helps you set up the security pilons. "These are supposed to help keep the boxes from being tampered with, or from rattling around or whatever. I wrote the code on the back of this one here, so you don't blow yourselves up unpacking it all... Perfect. The doc will confirm when you've delivered the packages, and you'll see a big fat payday in your email faster than drift travel." She pauses, thinking. "Well... exactly as fast as drift travel, I suppose." She walks you back out to the warehouse door and says goodbye.
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Melisa OHS..."So THATS why they had us digging in those creepy ruins. Oh yeah. If you want the artifacts and report disposed of afterwards because they're hobgoblin I can do that for fr..." she smiles a bit at the thought of Guess "As small of a service charge as I can talk guess in to. We're going to need target practice at some point."
She looks at Guess? "NOT the archeologist"
to check out pylon thingamajigs
To print off J-bull
To check out the pylons programming
"Let me just double check the security code here its 278Af or is that 8 a B ?"
She holds up the Mascot plush roughly her size "I wasn't sure how much stuffing these should have. We had siblings for pillows and I wasn't allowed to touch the triceratops. EVER." One of the horns falls off and lands on the ground.
"Uhm...its a prototype...." Well she has an excuse to keep this one now....
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Strek does his awkward giggle when he reads the warnings on the boxes.
"What are these, pre-Gap lava lamps? 'This side up' don't mean much in zero-G."
After securing everything he tinkers with the artificial gravity generator on board, giving it a backup generator just in case a system-wide power failure graces their trip to Absalom Station.
Then, while they still have infosphere access, he'll research this Dr. Chan guy.
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[dice= sense motive]1d20+4+1d6
Melisa OHS..."So THATS why they had us digging in those creepy ruins. Oh yeah. If you want the artifacts and report disposed of afterwards because they're hobgoblin I can do that for fr..." she smiles a bit at the thought of Guess "As small of a service charge as I can talk guess in to. We're going to need target practice at some point."
Guess? adds onto Melissa's statement, "That's right! One of our value-added services is the 'What delivery?' optional add-on. For a small-ish up front fee, you can exercise said option whereby we will dispose of said cargo anytime during transit or up to one week after delivery, as long as the recipient willingly relinquishes the already-delivered cargo back to us. If they do not willingly relinquish the cargo, then we'll have to discuss our other delivery reclamation service and that associated fee plus expenses for the necessary 'reclamation equipment'.
"As for the 'What delivery?' option, if you do not purchase the option up-front for the small-ish fee, we can still provide this service once delivery is already in-progress but the fee will be more significant.
"Do let us know at anytime if you would like to take advantage of any of these value-added services OR if you'd like to hear more about our other array of services to suit your specific delivery needs!!"
Once separated from the client, Akh ponders out loud "She seemed very cavalier about damaging these artifacts. I wonder if she's just a cog in a larger chain and not responsible for keeping them intact, if she's setting us up for failing the mission by delivering damaged goods, or just really bad at her job?"
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"... carbondaterizeratronomaticthing ..."
"Remind me to never play 3D Scrabble with you."
Del helps haul the boxes onto their starship but pauses at the words, 'blow up.' "Whoa, wait. Why are we loading up explosive pylons? What if they're, like, a trap or something? Some remote controlled bomb that they can blow on us? A lot of people want us dead..."
Del looks over the pylons, but having no knowledge of engineering or computers, they're a mystery to her.
And she wracks her brain for any mention on their new employers, just in case they aren't who Verran says they are...
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Oh hey, good idea! I mean, I have the InfoSphere on my datapad too, after all!
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Del is able to pull up a bit of information on Verran. It seems she's one of a million fixers in the galaxy, similar to Tarika, who finds the right crew for more specialized jobs. Strek and Akh are able to pull up more information on the professor, who is exactly who Verran says he is. The only thing special about the xenoarchaeology professor, with a specialty in Marixah and Gideron history. The only oddity about him is the number of fancy hover vehicles featured on his social media feeds. Either he is a trust fund baby or he has a second set of income outside of the university...
As for the security pylons, they're fairly conventional for delicate transportation work. The reason they're not more commonly used is the amount of space they take up. Their mechanisms require about ten times as much space as the cargo itself, so most crews avoid them when possible to further fill up their cargo holds. When it comes to Drift Travel, space is money. Of course, the pylons will be a problem for anyone trying to tamper with the crates without the proper codes.
As she waves goodbye to you, she calls out "I'll let you know if the results mean the client wants the cargo disappeared. Our normal guy's prices keep going up, needs the competition."
You settle into your normal seats and get ready for takeoff and another completely normal no surprise trip to carry completely normal and not at all dangerous cargo. Del takes the ship into the air, and you smoothly break atmosphere. You spend the normal few minutes prepping for the jump into the drift. But after you've only just started flipping switches, confirming readiness, and pressing buttons, your shields take a hit in your rear!
You look at your aft and starboard monitors, forgotten in the apparent safety of Marixah's airspace, where three ships are closing in fast! The other ships in the vicinity scatter at the sudden violence and the public communications channel is overtaken by Marixah traffic authorities. "HALT THIS ALTERCATION IMMEDIATELY. IDENTIFY YOURSELVES AND LAND IMMEDIATELY. AUTHORITIES ARE ON THEIR WAY. STAND DOWN."
Words are nice, but you know it will be several minutes before a police cruiser could show up. For now, you're on your own.
You recognize these ships as distinctly Gideron Authority in make.
The ship that fired on you sends a message on a private channel. A growling hobgoblin voice fills the bridge. "This is Gideron Authority Captain Harradan in HMS Falchion. You are in an active warzone, with stolen contraband. Stand down and prepare to be boarded. No one needs to get hurt, we just want our rightful heritage back."
You recognize that name! Captain Harradan and the Falchion was the GA military official that checked your papers when you were bringing the drow arms shipment to Vohxa and authorized your landing.
Del is faster than two of the oncoming ships, who close in on your vessel. The Captain continues his communication. "This doesn't need to be a fight, Last Chance. Let us on board, we can grab the crates before the M's get their sad little ships up here."
The Last Chance 30/30/22/30, 85/85
Red Gideron Authority Ship
Orange Gideron Authority Ship
Blue Gideron Authority Ship
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Even Melissa's d20 doesn't have a 0 on it. Though it tries.
Edit: DOH! I thought some info was in the spoiler that wasn't.
You recognize these ships as distinctly Gideron Authority in make.
" Oh Look. My favorite targets... "
Melissa chitters back angrily " Before we shove 47 pounds of tungsten up your *chitters* at relativistic speed, could you kindly confirm that you're tracking our location from a signal in the cargo bay?
"What? If he's tracking the pylons or a tracking thingamajig thats the artifacts calling for help."
Melisa has her Datapad in the cargo bay, waiting to catch video evidence of zombies. It turns on and Melissas snout is briefly visible way too close to the camera as she skypes herself. The datapad starts to transmit.
"♫ Hobo Goblin went to town
Riding on a defrex
Shoved a missile up his butt
decided he was spaceEX
But when Gobo he came down
He proved an arrant Coward,
Hid himself in with the girls
For fear of being devoured. ♫
"You know I probably should have scanned these guys before getting pithy... "
Scan the ship that says it's got the captain on it. It MIGHT be better than the other two ships but there's no way its worse
Melissa snorts... "Oh Sweet saranrae they have the same code algorithms in the bases. Watch this I can make all the toilets flush at the same time...."
"If that's the best shot you got, we can dance until the sun goes supernova. You sure you want to do this?"
Strek simply taps the "Reset Factory Default" button on his console and fully restores the damage to Shields .
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Upon hearing and recognizing the captain's name, Guess? replies in Goblin:
"We would LOVE to comply but there's a wrench in the works, Captain Harradan! Our client had all the proper papers indicating this was a perfectly legal shipment so your claim that the cargo is illegal doesn't quite match our information."
Guess? continues in Goblin:
"WE DID!!
"So I'll tell you what! We'll happily give up the cargo to its rightful owners - our friends, the Gideron Authority - once our promised compensation of 20 blue print tokens is transferred to us by the Gideron Authority. This is a STEAL amirite?!? After all, a price can't possibly be placed on cultural heritage!!
"Agreed??"
Cutting off audio on comms to the GA ship, Guess? says to the rest of the crew, "Not sure if they'll agree to stand down but hey, gotta try, right??"
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"I'm no expert, but I think the Gideron Authority has zero authority here. So, probably no one will mind if we turn their ships into slag. Then again, how did they get here?"
Akh listens in to the comms channel as he swings the Last Chance's turret around to point at the command ship.
"Guess?, why not record the message we just got from the Gideron people, cut out the part with the artifacts, and send it to the Marixah authorities as explanation for why we're about to blow these ships up. Maybe they'll even send us a reward afterward."
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Captain Harridan responds to Guess?, sticking to Common.
"Grant! Good to see you. Our intel was quite murky on who the captain of the Last Chance was these days and I was afraid something had happened to the loyal friend of the Authority. I'm afraid those papers were likely made in the supposed and false Republic. They will hold no value in a proper court." He pauses. "No matter, you have shown that you know who the good guys are. Allow us onboard to reclaim our ancestor's artifacts and we'll forget about the whole issue."
Melissa checks the pylons and finds no outgoing signals. However the GA found you, it wasn't through your cargo. Her ditty, however, does seem to help her hack/scan the other ship. Del looks back and forth, trying to figure out what to do!
SWORD-CLASS ATTACK VESSELS (2) TIER 2 Medium explorer (Starfinder Near Space 116)
Speed 8; Maneuverability good (turn 1); Drift 1
AC 14; TL 12
HP 55 each; DT —; CT 11
Shields basic 40 (forward 10, port 10, starboard 10, aft 10)
Attack (Forward) minor ramming prow (2d4; see below)
Attack (Port) light laser cannon (2d4; 5 hexes)
Attack (Starboard) light laser cannon (2d4; 5 hexes)
Attack (Turret) coilgun (4d4; 20 hexes)
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Melissa tap tap taps her scanner a few times to make sure its on and then starts laughing hard enough that she'd fall out of her chair if she wasn't leaning on her (now duct taped) J-Bull Plush in the chair next to her.
"These Guys didn't know who the captain is, or that we've been toy shopping in the veskarium. Either. They brought a ramming prow to a laser fight, and we're half again as fast as they are BEFORE strek takes the slurm can regulators off of the engine. "
"Guess I know you like a challenge, but if they come over even you're not talking them out of taking this stuff. They're attacking a ship RIGHT over the Miraxah republic home planet, not a colony, and announcing who they are to get these things back. You do that, we lose the one point of reputation we have. The box gets there. We may start a riot, we may get you kidnapped by shadowy vesk brainwash squads, but your box gets there. "
"If we run we don't tick anyone off...too much. If we blow them out of the sky, the local military can pick them up Saranrae laser dakka PROBABLY won't blow up the ship on the first hit... One cut scene viral video commercial latter and we're bonified blue collar heroes here. Its also, you know, three less hobgoblin ships trying to enslave my parents. "
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When the comms are off, Strek suggests, "Let's lettum on board. A visible ship battle blows your cover, Cap'n, but we jump them on board, and we can make up any story we want. Plus we can delay until the authorities arrive."
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Talking to the rest of the crew, Guess? says, "Well guys, they just want to seize the cargo and won't pay us for it and you all know my number one rule when merchandise is demanded - Show me the money!! So nope, we're not gunna cooperate with these bozos. Instead, this is what I propose we do..."
Pointing at Strek, "Yes, ambush them on board. Home field advantage, I like that idea!"
Guess? continues outlining his action plan, "Del stays at the pilot controls. Akh and Melissa wait in the cargo hold, pretending to receive their boarding party. Jaraduk and Strek remain out of sight in either the lavatory or the crew quarters. We make sure all of the other doors in the corridor are sealed tight.
"I'll meet them at the airlock and lead them down the corridor towards the cargo hold. Once I step into the cargo hold, WHAM! BAM! AMBUSH!!
"Del remotely seals the airlock so we're cut off from their ship and stays at the pilot controls - just in case. Jaraduk and Strek step out into the corridor behind their party, cutting them off from behind! We all open fire - Jaraduk and Strek from behind, Akh, Mel and me from the cargo hold. They'll be pinned down in the corridor taking fire from both sides - getting cut to ribbons!
"A couple other things - one, someone try to jam their comms so that their boarding party's comms are cut off from their ships and two, everyone turn on your video recording. Once we take 'em down, we can apply a bit of creative editing to our footage to make it look like they went nuts and started attacking us first.
"Even if we need some reshoots, I can assume the Captain's identity and we'll weave a pretty convincing video narrative that paints their captain as a profiteering war criminal attempting to illegally seizing the cargo and looking to sell it himself for personal profit. The Republic can jail him and our video can be sent to the GA authorities to keep our name in the clear.
"So to summarize, we let them on board, ambush them, then after we've taken them out, we frame them as criminals to keep our names in the clear with the GA. At the same time, the Republic will love us for taking down some of the GA. We might still have to engage the second GA ship in combat - but we'll play that by ear, yah?
"Sound like a plan? Everyone up for taking these cheapskates down?!?"
Forgetting that not everyone in his party understood what Guess? stated earlier in Goblin, a devilish grin creeps across Guess?'s face as he adds, "By the time we're done with 'em, these hobos are gunna wish they offered to pay us THIRTY blue print vouchers!"