Goblin

Guess?'s page

1,244 posts. Alias of bigboom.


Race

| SP 60/60 HP 52/52 | RP 11/11 | EAC 27 KAC 28 | Fort +4; Ref +14; Will +10 | Init: +13 | Perc: +18(+24 to notice traps), SM: +18

Classes/Levels

| Speed 55ft, Swim 20ft | Active conditions: owes Del 3229cr

Gender

Male, CN Space Goblin, Corporate Agent Operative (Free Trader) 9

About Guess?

Guess?
Male space goblin corporate agent[pw] operative (free trader) 10 Alien Archive, Character Operations Manual, Tech Revolution
CN Small humanoid (goblinoid, necrograft)
Init +13; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +18 (+24 to notice traps)
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Defense SP 60 HP 52 RP 11
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EAC 27; KAC 28
Fort +4; Ref +14; Will +10
Defensive Abilities evasion, uncanny agility
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Offense
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Speed 55 ft., swim 20 ft.
Melee ultrathin switchblade +13 (2d4+5 S; analog, operative, conceal)
Ranged anchoring fusion seal (8th) whisper sonic suppressor +13 (2d4+5 So; critical immobilization or stifle) or
. . ghost killer corona laser pistol +13 (2d4+5 F; critical burn 1d4) or
. . unholy 24-atm extrusion rifle +15 (2d10+10 B; unwieldy, sniper, stun; critical knockdown)
Offensive Abilities debilitating trick, sniper[TR] +4d6, tinker, triple attack
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Statistics
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Str 11 (+0); Dex 23 (+6); Con 10 (+0); Int 16 (+3); Wis 14 (+2); Cha 19 (+4)
Skills Acrobatics +22, Athletics +6 (+14 when swimming), Bluff +22 (spy: +4 to Bluff checks to make trick attacks, +24 against a target for the first time each day), Computers +19 (10 ranks), Culture +19, Diplomacy +22 (+24 against a target for the first time each day), Disguise +22 (+32 appear as a specific indivdual and to skill checks to bypass biometric securities keyed to that individual, +23 to Athletics checks to perform the activity that the clothes are designed for), Engineering +21 (10 ranks), Intimidate +23, Life Science +9, Medicine +9, Mysticism +8, Perception +18 (+24 to notice traps), Physical Science +9, Piloting +22 (10 ranks), Profession (Accountant) +15 (+16 to earn a living), Profession (Actor) +12, Profession (Archaeologist) +9, Profession (Architect) +9, Profession (Artist) +12, Profession (Bounty Hunter) +8, Profession (Comedian) +12, Profession (Con Artist) +12, Profession (Contractor) +8, Profession (Cook) +8, Profession (Corporate Professional) +15 (+16 to earn a living), Profession (Counselor) +8, Profession (Courtesan) +12, Profession (Dancer) +12, Profession (Dockworker) +8, Profession (Electrician) +9, Profession (Farmer) +8, Profession (Gambler) +8, Profession (General Contractor) +8, Profession (Herbalist) +8, Profession (Judge) +9, Profession (Lab Technician) +9, Profession (Lawyer) +9, Profession (Maintenance Worker) +8, Profession (Manager) +14 (+15 to earn a living), Profession (Mathemetician) +9, Profession (Mercenary) +8, Profession (Merchant) +14 (+15 to earn a living), Profession (Miner) +8, Profession (Musician) +12, Profession (Orator) +12, Profession (Philosopher) +9, Profession (Poet) +12, Profession (Politician) +12, Profession (Professor) +9, Profession (Psychologist) +9, Profession (Quartermaster) +9, Profession (Smuggler) +14 (+15 to earn a living), Profession (Soldier) +8, Profession (Video Personality) +12, Profession (Vidgamer) +9, Profession (Writer) +12, Sense Motive +18, Sleight Of Hand +26, Stealth +24, Survival +10 (+14 to handle an animal or rear a wild animal); (theme knowledge (corporate agent))
Feats Divine Blessing[PW][PW], Improved Initiative, Scurry[COM][COM], Skill Focus (Bluff), Skill Focus (Disguise), Spot Of Luck[COM][COM], Weapon Focus (sniper weapons)
Languages Abyssal, Aklo, Brenneri, Common, Draconic, Drow, Dwarven, Eoxian, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Kasatha, Orc, Shirren, Skittermander, Ysoki; limited telepathy 100 ft.
Other Abilities certainty, compression, jack of all trades, master of disguise [DC 21, 0 /day], merchant savvy[COM], networking, optical optimization[AR], specialization skill mastery , spy, trap spotter[AR], void flyer
Combat Gear mk I serums of healing (2), mk II serums of healing (2); Other Gear d-suit III (upgrade: jetpack), anchoring fusion seal (8th) whisper sonic suppressor with 1 high-capacity battery (40 charges)[AR], ghost killer corona laser pistol with 1 battery (20 charges), ultrathin switchblade[AR], unholy 24-atm extrusion rifle (manual sight) with 1 battery (20 charges)[GEM], animal-trainer’s kit[AR], battery, canteen[AR], disguise kit, engineering tool kit, field rations (1 week), formal clothing, grifter's kit[TR], high-capacity battery, holoskin, hygiene kit, jammer charge[TR], lighter[AR], mk 1 null-space chamber, mk 2 mindlink circlet, mk 3 micro tap[TR], noise dampener, personal comm unit, professional clothing, professional clothing, professional clothing, professional clothing, professional clothing, professional's tools, professional's tools, professional's tools, professional's tools, professional's tools, reconfigurable clothing[AR], reconfigurable clothing[AR], rope (50 ft.)[AR], shadowblend serum[AR], starfinder backpack[AR], superior intoxicant, tracking bug[PW], uniform clothing[AR], whisper comm unit[AR]; Augmentations adaptive fingerprints, doppelganger morphic skin[AR], mk 1 synaptic accelerator (intelligence), mk 1 vampire voice[AR], mk 2 synergizing symbiote (dexterity), Paragon symbiend, quyu eye, swimming fins[AR], void flyer graft
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Special Abilities
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Certainty You can spend 1 Resolve Point as a reaction to reroll one of your specialization’s associated skill checks.
Compression Move through areas 1/4 normal space without squeezing or 1/8 while squeeze.
Darkvision 60 ft. A creature with darkvision can see in total darkness, usually to a range of 60 feet. Within this range the creature can see as clearly as a sighted creature could see in an area of bright light. Darkvision is black and white only but otherwise like normal sight.
Debilitating Trick When you succeed at both the skill check and attack roll of your trick attack, you can make the target flat-footed or off-target until the beginning of your next turn.
Evasion If you succeed at a Reflex save against an effect that normally has a partial effect on a successful save, you instead suffer no effect. You gain this benefit only when unencumbered and wearing light armor or no armor, and you lose the benefit.
Jack of All Trades You can use all skills untrained, and you double your operative’s edge bonus when using a skill in which you have no ranks.
Master of Disguise (DC 19) You can take on the appearances of other creatures and even specific individuals. This functions as the quick disguise exploit, but the duration increases to 10 minutes per operative level. Alternatively, for 1 minute per operative level, you can take on the appearance of a specific individual that you have seen before. If you have heard the individual talk and can speak her language, you can also modulate your speech to match hers. This disguise is so convincing that creatures familiar with the individual must succeed at a Will saving throw before they can attempt a Perception check to pierce the disguise. You must have the quick disguise exploit to learn this exploit.
Merchant Savvy (3/day) Activate to reroll certain commerce related skill checks.
Necrograft Subtype Adding even a single necrograft to a living body causes the recipient creature to gain the necrograft subtype. Abilities, items, and spells that detect or identify undead reveal necrografts (identifying only the augmentations as undead, rather than the recipient creature as a whole).
Networking Can gather information in 10 min with access to the infosphere. When recall knowledge, can take 20 in half the time.
Optical Optimization When succeed by 10+ on skill roll for trick attack, ignore cover/concealment (but not total).
Sniper +4d6p As a full action, you can move up to 1/4 your speed. Whether or not you moved, you can then make an attack with a melee weapon with the operative property, a small arm, or a sniper weapon. If the weapon has the sniper property, you can use the property as if you had used a move action to aim. Just before making your attack, attempt a Perception or Stealth check (or a check associated with your specialization) with a DC of 20 + 1-1/2 your target’s CR. If you succeed at the check, the target is flat-footed against the attack and you deal 1d3 additional damage. This damage increases to 1d6 additional damage at 3rd level, plus an additional 1d6 damage for every 2 levels thereafter. You can’t use this ability with a weapon that has the unwieldy special property unless it also has the sniper special property, in which case this ability doesn’t allow you to move before attacking. This ability counts as a trick attack for the purpose of other operative abilities, such as debilitating trick.
Specialization Skill Mastery When roll check with any skill you have Skill Focus in, can take 10 even when stress or distraction would prevent that
Spy Specialization: You can steal or adopt new identities as easily as most people change clothes, allowing you to infiltrate nearly any circle. When you use Bluff to make a trick attack, you gain a +4 bonus to the skill check.
Stunt and Strike (Ex) Full action, move speed and make 1 att with proficient weapon. Roll skill check to inflict flat footed and perform associated stunt.
Theme Knowledge (Ex) -5 to the DC for Profession or Culture checks to recall knowledge about corporations and their executives.
Tinker (Ex) As a move action, a space goblin can remove the penalties associated with the broken condition from a single piece of equipment until the start of his next turn. The item then becomes unusable for 10 minutes (and retains the broken condition after that until it is fixed).
Trap Spotter (Ex) You double your operative’s edge bonus to Perception checks to notice traps. Additionally, you automatically receive a Perception check to notice a trap when you pass within 10 feet of it.
Triple Attack (Ex) When making a full attack using only melee weapons with the operative special property or small arms, you can make up to three attacks instead of two.
Uncanny Agility Immune to the flat-footed condition, and opponents don’t gain any bonuses to attack rolls against you from flanking you or attacking you when you’re prone. Covering fire and harrying fire don’t provide any advantage against you.
Void Flyer (Ex) Sarcesians can go 1 hour without breathing and can exist in a vacuum without suffering the associated environmental effects. When in a vacuum, they automatically grow wings made from pure energy that grant them a fly speed of 60 feet (average maneuverability), but that work only in vacuum.
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Feats
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Divine Blessing (Desna) Your deity sometimes grants you bursts of luck. Once per day, you can reroll any one failed skill check.
Improved Initiative +4 to initiative checks.
Scurry Occupy the same space as an ally of your size or larger without you or your ally taking any penalties for your doing so.
Skill Focus (Bluff) +3 insight bonus to chosen skill.
Skill Focus (Disguise) +3 insight bonus to chosen skill.
Spot of Luck When you use an ability to reroll one d20 roll, you can spend 1 Resolve Point to reroll twice and use the highest of all three results. Once you use this ability, you can do so again only after a 10-minute rest to regain Stamina Points
Weapon Focus (Sniper Weapons) +1 to attack with chosen weapon type, or +2 if base attack bonus is more than 3 less than character level.
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Augmentations
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Adaptive fingerprints You leave no identifying fingerprints behind when touching an object or surface, and you can’t be identified through your fingerprints. In addition, if you have access to records of another individual’s fingerprints, you can spend 1 Resolve Point to create wrinkled patterns in the pads that mimic those fingerprints for 1 hour, allowing you to bypass security features or leave false evidence.
Morphic skin, doppelganger Your skin is linked to implanted magical glands that release mutagenic enzymes and transmutation magic. Using morphic skin requires you to concentrate on the desired features during a 10-minute rest to regain Stamina Points; this is an exception to the normal rule that you can’t perform any tasks while taking a 10-minute rest to recover your Stamina Points. The change completes at the end of the rest. Basic morphic skin allows you to alter your appearance and voice within the normal bounds for your species, age, weight, and sex. You can adjust your height by up to 3 inches, become broader or thinner, become lighter or darker, alter apparent musculature (although your ability scores do not change), and adjust the shape of your features and the color of your hair, scales, or similar minor features. You ignore any penalties to Disguise checks for altering these major features, but you lack enough control to precisely match a specific individual. Advanced morphic skin offers the same options as the basic model, as well as the ability to change your apparent sex and age, alter your height by up to 1 foot, and gain features of another species of the same creature type (although you don’t gain or lose abilities as a result). Doppelganger morphic skin offers the same options as the advanced model, as well as the ability to assume a specific individual’s appearance within the augmentation’s limits. When mimicking an individual this way, you gain a +10 circumstance bonus to your Disguise check to alter your form and to skill checks to bypass biometric security keyed to that individual.
Paragon This tiny creature burrows its bony head into the flesh of its host’s chest like a tick. Redundant organs in the symbiend’s body function as a tiny laboratory, boosting its host’s intelligence and pheromone production, which takes its toll on the host’s body. Paragons are among the few symbiends able to communicate directly with their hosts. The paragon can withdraw its bonuses from disobedient hosts, and it can even cause pain or random hallucinations to compel behavior.
Quyu eye (1/day, DC 17) When you attempt a Bluff or Diplomacy check against a target for the first time each day, you receive a +2 circumstance bonus to the attempt. Alternatively, once per day, you can take a standard action to activate the eye’s mesmerizing qualities and attempt to fascinate one target. The target must succeed a Will save (DC = 10 + half your level + your Charisma modifier) to avoid becoming fascinated; regardless of whether the target succeeds, it is immune to the effects of all quyu eyes for 24 hours.
Swimming fins Your feet are altered to include broad fins, providing you with a swim speed of 20 feet. You don’t need to attempt an Athletics check to swim
Synaptic accelerator, mk 1 (Intelligence) These implants supercharge the synaptic connections in your brain, allowing you to process information faster and send impulses throughout your body more effectively. Synaptic accelerators grant you additional ability points. This counts as a personal upgrade of the appropriate model number. It takes an hour to install a synaptic accelerator, and once a character has benefited from its technology it is forever spent.
Synergizing symbiote, mk 2 (Dexterity) These tiny, biovat-grown, tadpole-like creatures form symbiotic relationships with other animals by attaching to their bodies and instinctively maximizing efficiency in the hosts’ biological systems, losing their own independence and functionally becoming a new organ. Synergizing symbiotes grant additional ability points. This counts as a personal upgrade of the appropriate model number. It takes an hour to implant a synergizing symbiote, and once a character has benefited from it, it is forever spent.
Vampire voice, mk 1 Can use Intimidate to bully foe without common language, but limited to 1 simple command, and can't retry for 24 hrs.
Void flyer graft This augmentation allows you to go 1 hour per day without breathing while also ignoring the harmful effects of a vacuum. When in a vacuum, you automatically grow wings made from pure energy, granting you a supernatural fly speed of 60 feet with average maneuverability.
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Botting Priorities
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1. Full action Trick Attack
2. If target is too close, withdraw while drawing weapon and attack next round
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ATTACK ROLLS:
[ooc]Target flat-footed if 1.5*CR is at or below:[/ooc] [dice=Trick Attack (Bluff)]1d20+22+4-20[/dice]
[ooc]If roll exceeds CR by 10, ignore cover/concealment but not total.[/ooc]
[dice=ultrathin switchblade vs KAC]1d20+13[/dice]
[dice=Damage (S)]2d4+5[/dice]
[dice=Trick Attack Damage]4d6[/dice] [ooc]and flat-footed to all, if trick attack succeeded[/ooc]
[ooc]Targets CR11 and below are auto flat-footed vs trick attack[/ooc]

[dice=Trick Attack (Bluff)]1d20+22+4[/dice]
[ooc]If trick attack >= 20+(1.5*CR), then target is flat-footed.[/ooc]
[ooc]If trick attack >= 30+(1.5*CR), then ignore cover/concealment but not total.[/ooc]
[dice=24-atm extrusion rifle vs KAC]1d20+15[/dice] [ooc](Manual sight reduces range and AC cover bonuses by 2 if character doesn't move)[/ooc]
[dice=Damage (B)]2d10+10[/dice]
[dice=Trick Attack Damage]4d6[/dice] [ooc]and flat-footed to all, if trick attack succeeded[/ooc]
[ooc]Targets CR11 and below are auto flat-footed vs trick attack[/ooc]

[ooc]Target flat-footed if 1.5*CR is at or below:[/ooc] [dice=Trick Attack (Bluff)]1d20+22+4-20[/dice]
[ooc]If roll exceeds CR by 10, ignore cover/concealment but not total.[/ooc]
[dice=ghost killer corona laser pistol vs EAC]1d20+13[/dice]
[dice=Damage (F)]2d4+5[/dice]
[dice=Trick Attack Damage]4d6[/dice] [ooc]and flat-footed to all, if trick attack succeeded[/ooc]
[ooc]Targets CR11 and below are auto flat-footed vs trick attack[/ooc]

[ooc]Target flat-footed if 1.5*CR is at or below:[/ooc] [dice=Trick Attack (Bluff)]1d20+22+4-20[/dice]
[ooc]If roll exceeds CR by 10, ignore cover/concealment but not total.[/ooc]
[dice=anchoring whisper sonic suppressor vs EAC]1d20+13[/dice]
[dice=Damage (So)]2d4+5[/dice]
[dice=Trick Attack Damage]4d6[/dice] [ooc]and flat-footed to all, if trick attack succeeded[/ooc]
[ooc]Targets CR11 and below are auto flat-footed vs trick attack[/ooc]

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SKILL ROLLS:
[dice=Acrobatics]1d20+22[/dice]
[dice=Athletics]1d20+6[/dice]
• +4 to jump
• +8 to swim
[dice=Bluff]1d20+22[/dice]
• +4 to Bluff checks to make trick attacks
• +2 circumstance bonus against a target for the first time each day
[dice=Computers]1d20+19[/dice]
[dice=Culture]1d20+19[/dice]
• -5 to the DC for Culture checks to recall knowledge about corporations and their executives
[dice=Diplomacy]1d20+22[/dice]
• +2 circumstance bonus against a target for the first time each day
[dice=Disguise]1d20+22[/dice]
• +10 circumstance bonus appear as a specific indivdual and to skill checks to bypass biometric securities keyed to that individual
[dice=Engineering]1d20+21[/dice]
[dice=Intimidate]1d20+23[/dice]
[dice=Life Science]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Medicine]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Mysticism]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Perception]1d20+18[/dice]
• +6 insight bonus to notice traps
[dice=Physical Science]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Piloting]1d20+22[/dice]
[dice=Profession (accountant)]1d20+15[/dice]
[dice=Profession (corporate professional)]1d20+15[/dice]
[dice=Profession (manager)]1d20+14[/dice]
[dice=Profession (merchant)]1d20+14[/dice]
[dice=Profession (smuggler)]1d20+14[/dice]
• +1 circumstance bonus to earn a living Profession checks
• -5 to the DC for Profession checks to recall knowledge about corporations and their executives
[dice=Sense Motive]1d20+18[/dice]
[dice=Sleight of Hand]1d20+26[/dice]
• +4 to entertain or pick pocket (grifter's toolkit)
[dice=Stealth]1d20+24[/dice]
[dice=Survival]1d20+10[/dice]
• +4 to handle an animal or rear a wild animal (animal-trainer's kit)

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SKILL ROLLS - PROFESSIONS:
[dice=Profession (accountant)]1d20+15[/dice]
[dice=Profession (actor)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (archaeologist)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (architect)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (artist)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (bounty hunter)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (comedian)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (con artist)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (contractor)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (cook)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (corporate professional)]1d20+15[/dice]
[dice=Profession (counselor)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (courtesan)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (dancer)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (dockworker)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (electrician)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (farmer)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (gambler)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (general contractor)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (herbalist)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (judge)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (lab technician)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (lawyer)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (maintenance worker)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (manager)]1d20+14[/dice]
[dice=Profession (mathemetician)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (mercenary)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (merchant)]1d20+14[/dice]
[dice=Profession (miner)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (musician)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (orator)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (philosopher)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (poet)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (politician)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (professor)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (psychologist)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (quartermaster)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (smuggler)]1d20+14[/dice]
[dice=Profession (soldier)]1d20+8[/dice]
[dice=Profession (video personality)]1d20+12[/dice]
[dice=Profession (vidgamer)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Profession (writer)]1d20+12[/dice]
• +1 circumstance bonus to earn a living Profession checks
• -5 to the DC for Profession checks to recall knowledge about corporations and their executives

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CHARACTER SHEET: LINK

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TOKEN: LINK

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[spoiler=PERSONALITY]Guess? tends to change his physical features on a daily basis with his morphic skin. Some days his ears are smaller, other days he's a little taller, sometimes a bit more gaunt or other times a bit more chubby, etc. He typically picks up languages of small-sized races because it's easier to disguise himself as those races and speaking their language can make the disguise more effective. Guess? is profit-driven and enjoys sowing mischief, confusion and chaos amongst rivals & opponents in order to get ahead. But he will prioritize crewmates over profit - if not out of loyalty, then out of practicality where one cannot survive alone in the cold, dark vacuum of space. (Although I fully expect this character to develop loyalty with other characters fairly quickly... especially after a few combat encounters together!)

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BACKSTORY:
As a kid, he had fun impersonating others and developed a knack for it. His favorite activity was impersonating other kids, tricking parents into giving him snacks intended for their actual children. This was all the more impressive because to pull this off, he’d have to masquerade as non-goblins - since when did goblin parents give their youngsters snacks?

One day, he disguised himself as a ysoki child, entered a clothing store and posed as the spoiled, bratty, entitled son of the store owner. With lies and threats against the poor, hapless teenage employees, he demanded and was given a half dozen pairs of designer pants emblazoned with this logo. He kept a pair for himself and fenced the rest, using the cash to buy snacks for himself and his closest friends. From that point on, all the goblin kids in the tribe called him 'Guess?' The name stuck.

Fast forward years later and to win a bet, Guess? developed a legitimate-appearing ysoki alter-ego named “Haath Chaar” and used that identity to apply for a job with the Evgeniya-Jaimisson Corporation. To everyone else’s (but not his) surprise, Guess? got the job. However, Guess? was surprised to discover the job provided opportunities he didn’t anticipate which he stayed on to take advantage of:

  • Access to cargo manifests and delivery schedules that he’d sell off to burglars
  • Admittance to warehouses and office storage spaces where he’d hide contraband on behalf of smugglers for a “service charge”
  • The chance to occasionally snag desirable items for himself or his tribe

    And of course while exploiting these opportunities, Guess? would assume the identity of other employees to cover his tracks should evidence of his actions be discovered. Occasionally, he’d purposely leave evidence to be found, framing others for his wrongdoing. But Guess? would frame only those who were malicious to “Haath Chaar” or Haath Chaar’s friends.

    One such friend that Guess? looked out for was a brenneri named Tarika. The two of them joined The Company at the same time and together, they endured endless employee orientation workshops. Many times over the years, Guess? and Tarika had almost gotten fired but they always covered for each other. Unbeknownst to Tarika, Guess? sometimes took the aforementioned tack of framing others for wrongdoing to provide Tarika that cover. Other times, when Guess? was behind on his quota, Tarika kicked jobs his way. And when Tarika needed some time off to take care of her daughter, Guess? pulled double shifts to help out.

    Other shenanigans Guess? would pull to hinder enemies or assist friends included:

  • Fake glowingly positive performance reviews from power-tripping managers to their deserving subordinates, resulting in the subordinates getting promoted over those managers
  • Join video conference calls as a senior exec and chew out all participants for drinking too much coffee which drove up office expenses. Then to cap the spiraling cost of office coffee, Guess? would command everyone to take the rest of the day off
  • Countless other pranks to confuse, obfuscate and amuse...

    One day, Guess? uncovered a memo detailing the acquisition of a paragon symbiend intended for a sales VP. However, the symbiend had a penchant for chaos, trickery and deception that did not mesh with the VP nor any other senior execs - the symbiend and execs rejected each other, leaving that symbiend with no host. Guess? had to have it!

    Deploying his usual bag of tricks, Guess? lied, cheated and stole his way to the symbiend but his luck ran out that day. Not realizing the joining process would leave him temporarily paralyzed for about an hour and flushed with greed, Guess? initiated the symbiend joining deep within a secure office area. While laying immobile on the ground, a security patrol discovered and apprehended him. Guess?'s cover was blown - after all this time posing as Haath Chaar, Guess? was revealed to be a goblin. The interrogation went a little something like this:

    ”Who are you?” demanded the corporate security officers.

    ”Guess?” replied Guess?.

    *smack* *smack*

    ”Now will you tell us your name?”

    ”Yes, yes! I did!”

    ”No you didn’t.”

    *smack* *smack*

    ”Now, spit it out! Your name!”

    ”Guess?!!”

    *SMACK* *SMACK*

    Eventually, the misunderstanding was resolved and Guess?’s full story came to light. The corporate higher-ups realized that a) the chaotic paragon symbiend suited this goblin and was otherwise worthless to The Company and b) they can still squeeze some profit out of this goblin’s abilities. So a deal was struck. Guess? was banned from employment within the corporate offices, eliminating any chance of advancement to salarati. Instead, he would be exiled to a life toiling for The Company out in the lanes. In exchange, Guess? would keep the symbiend and not be incarcerated for life. Not too shabby a deal for a goblin with no real viable employment opportunities elsewhere.

    One bright spot out of all this... Despite Guess?’s deception since the day they met, Tarika remains a valued and loyal friend.

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