Jevar shrugs. What do you all think? Smallest to largest?
He heads back across the circle to the building nearest to the gate.
”That makes sense,” Boodiddly agrees, testing the mobility of his ankle after Shakur wraps it with bandages. ”But don’t go running off by yourself! What if there’s another topiary guard, and it’s shaped like a tyrannosaurus?”
This well-appointed lounge includes a brick fireplace, a mahogany table with three matching chairs, and an antique sideboard near the foot of the stairs.
”…and then I said ‘Do I look like a commoner to you?’!”
”OH HO HO HO!”
Seated at the mahogany table are two nobles—one man and one woman—who seem to be chatting over now-empty wine glasses. They get over their laughter and finally notice the amnesiacs. They stare for a moment, then smile as they look at each other. ”Visitors!”
The woman turns back to the amnesiacs, fanning herself with a frilly fan. ”May we steal you for a moment? We simply must hear about the latest gossip around town!”
“Daelene, please! You’re going to scare them off!”
“Oh, you are so right, Asa.” She turns back to the amnesiacs. ”We were just about to open a new bottle. Take some glasses from the liquor cabinet and relax. Let us pour you a drink or two. We rarely have visitors to Iris Hill these days.”
Jevar halts, frozen as if caught in a lethal situation, and then finally responds.
Um... wine? Thank you, no. You want gossip? How long have you been cooped up here?
Jevar enters but instead of sitting down moves to stand along the wall, allowing the others space to enter.
Remembering how the last person he’d met who seemed very comfortable in such strange circumstances turned out to be a demon, Boodiddly remains on his guard. ”Oh, I’m afraid we couldn’t - we’re here to deliver a message to the Count, you see, and it’s very important he gets it as soon as possible. You haven’t seen him around recently, have you?”
Kolgradd looks incredulous at the nobles, not sure how to respond, eventually he just mumbles to himself.
"You should fire your gardener, it's a jungle out here"
Mostly he's listening to the conversation and watching the nobles for signs of being demons / mind-controlled / evil cultists
"You should fire your gardener, it's a jungle out here"
"Oh, I know what you mean; I told Claus that the pegasus topiary was tacky, but he simply insisted on including it."
Remembering how the last person he’d met who seemed very comfortable in such strange circumstances turned out to be a demon, Boodiddly remains on his guard. ”Oh, I’m afraid we couldn’t - we’re here to deliver a message to the Count, you see, and it’s very important he gets it as soon as possible. You haven’t seen him around recently, have you?”
Asa rolls his eyes. ”The count left the estate days ago, before all these troubles began. Quite a rrrude thing to do when you have guests if you ask me.”
Um... wine? Thank you, no. You want gossip? How long have you been cooped up here?
Daelene stands up and moves toward a cabinet. ”About a week. And are you sure? We were just about to open a 4654 Cesca pinot grigio.” She pulls out a wine bottle and shows it to reveal a bottle of wine with a label from a vineyard in Cesca. She tries to open the bottle using the hand holding it—trying to pop the cork with her thumb (but she barely looks like she’s even trying). ”This one is on tight. Asa, could you work your magic?”
“Oh, of course! Hand it here. Mariqet norci!”
Asa waves his hands and twiddles his fingers in the air as he is surrounded by the obvious aura of magical spellcasting.
Your feel a bit lightheaded when Asa cast that spell, but it was probably just a harmless side-effect of the spellcasting.
”There. Try it now.”
Daelene takes the bottle and tries to uncorks it again, this time easily doing so. ”Oh ho ho! I love your tricks, Asa!” Daelene pours the wine into the wine glasses in front of each of the nobles. Asa takes his glass, swirls it, and takes a sip from it. ”Oh! Such a full-bodied flavor! 4654 was such a delightful year! You lot simply must try this!”
Jevar frowns as he notices some spell being cast onto the wine, but reverts to a bright smile as soon as the nobles look up at the amnesiacs again.
Oh, thank you no. Wine mixes with my medication in a very negative way. So, if the Count has left, who did he leave in charge around here that we might pass our message on to?
"Oh, my apologies. You could at least take a seat. And, I suppose the one in charge would be Melisenn, but she's..." The nobles look at each other knowingly. "Preoccupied."
Boodiddly shakes his head and frowns in thought. I don’t recall the last time I had a reaction to magic like that - and goodness knows I’ve been around a lot of it with these folks. What was it?
When the pair mention Melisenn, the bard’s eyes quickly refocus. ”Melisenn? Yes, I suppose she would do. Where is she? Maybe we can come back and join you after delivering the message to her.”
”Miss Kororo isn’t really taking visitors at the moment...”
Jevar stands back up and takes a step towards the door.
Well, it's quite urgent so we're going to have to let her make that call.
His tone is assertive, but cordial.
”Indeed - though you two certainly seem like quite the pair of charming fellows.” Boodiddly puts a bit of emphasis on the word, waiting to see their response.
”Indeed - though you two certainly seem like quite the pair of charming fellows.” Boodiddly puts a bit of emphasis on the word, waiting to see their response.
The nobles stop immediately, glance at one another, then stand up.
To Kolgradd, it is clear that the nobles are preparing an attack against the amnesiacs!
Round 1
===============
Kolgradd
Daelene
Boodiddly/Shakur
Jevar
Asa
===============
Kolgradd looks visibly relieved that they've dropped the pretense. He was growing increasingly angry with their surreal nonchalance, but trusted in his allies to navigate the social cues that go above his head.
"Finally!"
He moves forward to put himself in between the nobles and his friends, and slams his hammer into "Asa", whom he saw use magic, trying to avoid the wine.
"If you've poisoned that wine I swear I'll kill you twice!"
Kolgradd slams his maul twice into the noble’s stomach, causing a trickle of blood—or perhaps wine—to make a line down his mouth. ”How did you—?! I mean…Daelene!”
“With pleasure.”
Daelene quickly cools herself with her fan before suddenly jumping at the dwarf with it!
Kolgradd is caught off-guard by the sudden breeze on his face, barely noticing the woman’s follow-up!
Kolgradd is more caught off-guard by just how much that woman’s fan hurt! It is only then that he notices several blades along the frills of the fan, now stained with his blood!
Daelene swiftly flicks her fan once again at the dwarf!
As she flicks the fan, specks of the dwarf’s own blood stick into his eye, distracting him just long enough for the noblewoman’s subsequent attack!
”How do you like it, you boorish buffoon?!”
Round 1
===============
Kolgradd (-34)
Daelene
Boodiddly/Shakur
Jevar
Asa (-30)
===============
"Ouch! Don't stop now, Kolgradd!" Boodiddly's inspiring voice fills the room - along with a hearty BWARP from Ives.
"And you! Slow down!"
Boodiddly sings and his voice easily echoes throughout the room, then casts a spell at the noblewoman.
The woman’s movements slow considerably, even despite her considerable fortitude.
Round 1
===============
Kolgradd (-34)
Daelene {Slowed 1: Round 0 of 1}
Boodiddly {Lingering Defense: Round 0 of 4}
Shakur
Jevar
Asa (-30)
===============
It's a little tight in here!
Jevar unloads magic missiles on Asa.
Shakur casts shield then telekinetic projectile at Asa.
Asa continues to be pelted by various attacks, and grunts. ”Why you little…!” Suddenly, he goes into a full operatic aria as he is surrounded with magic!
The nobleman then waves his arms and casts another spell!
Round 2
===============
Kolgradd (-34)
Daelene {Slowed 1: Round 0 of 1}
Boodiddly {Lingering Defense: Round 0 of 4}
Shakur
Jevar
Asa (-28)
===============
"He's using your tricks Boodiddly!"
Kolgradd keeps up his attack on Asa, knowing from experience how powerful Boodiddly's inspiring words are. He tries to channel his anger from missing while Asa was casting his spell into extra damage, and does his best not to let the viscous fan-wielding cultist to his left put him off.
His frequent side-glances at the dreaded fan dripping with his blood cause his blows to be a little lighter than usual though. Finally his fear of getting sliced up gets the better of him and he focuses his arcane energy into a shield.
Even despite her sluggishness from Boodiddly’s magic, Daelene once more lets loose a feinting strike at the dwarf!
She then follows up with a quick strike with her fan.
Round 2
===============
Kolgradd (-50)
Daelene
Boodiddly {Lingering Defense: Round 1 of 4}
Shakur
Jevar
Asa (-46)
===============
Okay, this is working so well. So try chewing on this!
Jevar sense a barbed bolt of acid at the nobleman.
He then draws his dagger.
”Oh dear - all that cheese and wine is slowing you down!” Boodiddly quips.
”But at least you’re a good sport and not whining about it!”
Asa dodges out of the way of Jevar’s arrow.
Boodiddly quips at Daelene, and for the briefest moment she chuckles at the gnome’s poor joke.
Daelene opens her mouth to retort the gnome’s remark, but all that exits is a guttural—and quite ugly—laugh. She looks in horror as her laughter overtakes her! She falls onto her back, rolling around on the ground at the gnome’s magical joke!
Shakur casts shield then does a two-action heal on Kolgradd.
Asa looks at his compatriot who doing a literal ROTFLMAO—complete with tears in her eyes and rather ugly snorts—and stares at Kolgradd in terror.
”Well…This isn’t good…” Pure determination fills the man’s eyes, however. ”But I shall do all I must in service to the Unspeakable!”
Asa once more breaks into an operatic aria and attempts to heal himself!
But the dwarf once again misses the noble!
Round 3
===============
Kolgradd (-10)
Daelene {prone; slowed 1 and no reactions; Bon Motted: Round 1 of 10}
Boodiddly {Lingering Defense: Round 2 of 4}
Shakur
Jevar
Asa (-28) {+2 status vs mental: Round 0 of 10}
===============
Kolgradd, could you make that dancing noble hold still!
Jevar moves onto his flaming ball.
There! Escape that in this small space.
He looks down at his raven and commands her Oreb, focus!
The raven squints hard, like she's trying to lay an egg and glows softly before finishing.
"I'm trying, this one's a slippery bugger"
Kolgradd briefly considers trying to hold to nobleman in the flames, but quickly decides that's a sure way to burn his beard off, and tries to smash him instead.
Seeing the fan-wielding witch lying prone, he decides to get some revenge!
"Shhh!" Boodiddly shushes the other bard loudly as he concentrates on his own magic. "You can't speak about the Unspeakable - it's not allowed!"
Jevar summons a sphere of flame on top of Asa.
But the noble easily dodges away.
Kolgradd winds up his attack and smacks the noble in the side of the head, sending him flying into unconsciousness! He then smacks hard into the cackling noblewoman.
Telekinetic projectile.
The only thing on the nobles’ persons worth taking was Daelene’s +1 fighting fan (which Boodiddly initially misidentifies), two Yellow Sign coins , a key on Daelene’s person, and three nonmagical vials on Daelene’s person (one of which is empty). Jevar is unable to alchemically identify the contents of the vials, but Kolgradd (with Jevar’s alchemist’s kit) identifies them as each containing a dose of knockout dram.
The upstairs of this particular building isn’t much to write home about, save for the solarium and the guest bedroom with a large padlocked chest (the key on Daelene’s person fits in this chest).
However, just as someone is about to open the chest, Kolgradd and Shakur notice several magical runes along the lip of the trunk. They stand back as Boodiddly gets to work, however, as he’s about to start he realizes just how complicated these runes are! Instead, he just attempts to dispel the runes.
Boodiddly easily dispels the runes.
2 sets of high-fashion fine clothing for special occasions.
12 bottles of fine wine
A jewelry box made of palm wood (worth 25 gp) with 100 gp worth of rings, bracelets, brooches, and necklaces.
Blood stains the damp, musty hay scattered across the floor of this stable.
Kolgradd and Shakur notice the faint sound of whinnying as they realize that this area is haunted! Shakur sets out to exorcise the spirits.
Shakur narrowly manages to ritualistically silence the whinnying.
The carriage house smells of fresh dirt, which likely is coming from the massive, 30 foot deep hole in the floor that was recently dug. With little else in the room (and keeping the hole in mind for later), the amnesiacs go up the stairs.
The amnesiacs go through the only visible doorway.
This nicely appointed room contains a wide bed covered with a homey quilt, a low shelf, and a writing desk. Tapestries hang on the wall, and the room smells faintly of sandalwood.
In the center of the room are a trio of large, purple mushrooms. As soon as the amnesiacs step in, however, the mushrooms grow long tendrils and attack!
Round 1
===============
Kolgradd
Boodiddly
Red
Green
Blue
Shakur
Jevar
===============
Boodiddly can’t see what’s going on at the top of the stairs, but he can recognize when Kolgradd has seen something dangerous by how the dwarf’s breath catches and how his hand goes instinctively to the haft of his hammer. ”What’ve we got?” he asks, already starting to whistle and clap.
"Some kind of weird giant purple mushrooms!"
Kolgradd moves in and tries a swipe at the nearest one.
Boodiddly harmonizes his songs.
Kolgradd moves forward and hits one of the mushrooms, sending it crashing to the ground! He then follows up with an Advantageous Assault and smashes the mushroom into a mushy—but still mostly cohesive—pulp!
The knocked-over mushroom tries to stand up.
But the dwarf bats the mushroom into oblivion!
The other two mushrooms, however, lash out at the dwarf with their long tendrils!
*
But only one of the mushrooms’ tendrils manage to hit the dwarf.
Round 1 —> 2
===============
Kolgradd (-15)
Boodiddly
Green
Blue
Shakur
Jevar
===============
Boodiddly continues his performance, clapping and whistling encouragingly.
Jevar heads into the doorway, catching up to see what all the commotion is about.
Well, they sure keep interesting pets around here...!
He draws and throws one of his alchemical bombs at the mushroom across the room .
After, he draws another.
Kolgradd just tries to smash the foul blobs as quickly as possible without breathing any of it in. He eyes the one Jevar just hit warily as it bubbles and burns, and steps to strike the other.
Boodiddly harmonizes.
Jevar throws a bomb and manages to hit the mushroom despite all of the cover.
Kolgradd moves forward and hits the mushroom so hard that it falls to the ground, then hits it again with an Advantageous Assault.
Shakur moves forward and does a telekinetic projectile at the prone mushroom.
And cuts it into bits!
The remaining continues to lash out against Kolgradd with its tendrils!
But the dwarf dodges away from all of them!
The creature then is damaged by the residual toxic chemicals of Jevar’s bomb.
Round 2 —> 3
===============
Kolgradd (-15)
Boodiddly
Blue (-11) {2d4 persistent poison}
Shakur
Jevar
===============
Okay, time to watch it die of poison... hopefully quickly!
Jevar advances forward and scorches the mushroom, which is easily burned by the flame!
Round 2 —> 3
===============
Kolgradd (-15)
Boodiddly
Blue (-15)
Shakur
Jevar
===============
Boodiddly keeps up his encouraging performance from the stairwell. The acoustics in here are great!
Kolgradd steps up to the final mushroom, cranes his head back to keep it away from the burning tendrils, and continues to hammer it into oblivion. He tries to keep a clear line for Jevar and Shakur to blast it.
With two swings of his hammer, the last of the mushrooms fall.
This slightly dusty room contains a pair of mostly empty bookshelves and a couple of comfortable chairs. The only thing of note in the room is a single ledger sitting on one of the shelves.
Shakur opens the ledger, and when he does he is greeted by a large sigil on the front page: the Yellow Sign! The Yellow Sign then uncoils and elongates off of the page and transforms into a massive serpent that lunges at the Pharasmin!
Shakur dodges away from the snake as it lashes out, and when it finishes its lunge, it dissipates into the ether.
The ledger shows that many former servants of Iris Hill were fired, and new ones were purchased from someone named Weiralai. Shakur recalls that the Hastur cultist Aris, as well as Urzok, mentioned the name Weiralai.
Second, several weeks prior to Count Lowls’s disappearance, a number of books were delivered to Iris Hill. The books in the shipping manifest include titles such as Argument Against Reality, Delusion: Pact with Sanity, Esoteric Delves into the Waking Mind, and Mystical Sites of Eastern Casmaron.
Long tables covered with various utensils and food line two of the walls of this large kitchen. Thick curtains cover all of the windows, masking the area in a faint light.
Wild crunching permeates the room along with the scent of raw flesh. As the amnesiacs look closer, they see four of the brutish cannibals—two are working at a table, seeming trying to “cook” something, while the other two are hunkered over a pile of some kind of raw meat and eating handfuls of it!
The cannibals immediately look up from their work at the amnesiacs and growl as they cover their eyes—despite the light not hitting any of them. They then growl loudly and attack!
The amnesiacs hear the sound of growling and rustling coming from upstairs, followed by hurried footsteps.
Round 1
===============
Boodiddly/Shakur
Kolgradd
???
Jevar
Red
Yellow
Green
Blue
===============
"Uh oh! Don't let them bite you!" The gnome quickly begins to tap his feet and whistle. As long as Kolgradd can keep them bottled up, they can't come bite me... can they?
Earlier...
As they look through the ledger, Jevar becomes intrigued at some of the titles listed.
Hmm, I'll have to keep an eye out for these. They might be related to writings I've previously recovered...
He makes a mental note to watch for "Argument Against Reality" as they navigate Iris Hill.
-----------------------
Knowing what they're going to have to do, Jevar rushes into the room and finds a corner to park himself
As he passes by one of the tables he looks down at the meat arranged on it, his face contorting with disgust.
*Shudder* I wonder who they were...
Thinking these must be susceptible to poison, he throws one of his bombs at them before the room can get crowded.
Kolgradd watches Jevar stride into the room full of cannibals with shock, and runs in to try to put himself between Jevar and the monstrous flesh-eaters.
"Droskar's Chains man!"
He swings at the nearest one as he goes past, trying to attract their attention. He can't help but wonder if they've always been monstrous, or if they've been twisted by the dark knowledge in these mystery books and others like them.
Boodiddly harmonizes his compositions.
Jevar moves into the building and throws a blight bomb, but the bomb explodes prematurely.
Kolgradd moves into the building and hits his hammer against Blue! He then steps away to protect Jevar.
Shakur steps over into the doorway and casts telekinetic projectile at Yellow.
It is metagaming to know the exact mechanics of their light blindness, but it isn’t to say that they’re very averse to the light (I feel I’ve made that one clear).
Blue blindly moves over to the door and tries to close it.
He manages to find the doorknob and subsequently shut the door.
With the door closed, Blue then blindly walks over to Kolgradd.
The remainder of the cannibals blindly surround Kolgradd and attempt to bite at the dwarf!
*
*
But only one cannibal even comes close to biting the dwarf, but even they are met only with Kolgradd’s armor!
More footsteps are heard from upstairs, and suddenly another cannibal appears at the top of the stairs!
Round 2
===============
Boodiddly
Shakur
Kolgradd
Dashed Red
???
Jevar
Red
Yellow
Green
Blue (-11)
===============
A dull gray stone begins orbiting the wizards head, giving off a bright light that brightens the entire room. You note that, interestingly, the dull gray stone matches his Nidalese skin tone.
Seeing that Kolgradd has been surrounded, Jevar decides to aid him a bit.
Kolgradd is dodging and ducking under the cannibals attacks, trying to keep his face and beard away from their bites and take their blows on his plate.
The muffled version of Boodiddly's song that Kolgradd can hear through the door isn't quite enough to inspire him, but the magical sensation of quickness suddenly coursing through his veins spurs him on. He starts hammering on the injured cannibal, and continues clockwise should they fall.
Moving so quickly he finds ample time between swings to conjure a shield for himself.
Boodiddly waits for Shakur to open the door back up as he continues his song.