Priestess Aelia looks over the group; the Tiefling is... probably not clergy, the gnome almost definitely not clergy-- unless there is a god she's forgetting dedicated to gold chains-- and the human... well, he's dressed plainly enough.
"If you have two among you who have been so divinely blessed, it is always best to prioritize protecting yourselves, so even if you do split it two ways, the attacker should keep at least one in reserve for emergencies," she suggests.
"Faith-in-the-Rain," Faith replied with a smile. "Nice to meet you, Aelia." Looking to the others, Faith suggested, "Until we see what's down there we don't really have enough information to make a solid call."
"Yo wassup? The name's Docta G, you mighta heard it!"
Aelia freezes mid-handshake with Faith, and stares at the gnome rapper, transfixed.
"Wait-- the Docta G?" asks the aging priestess. Her eyes widen, her pupils dilate; her mouth hangs open slightly.
"I have livestreamed every performance I could find," she says hurriedly, fumbling in her robes for something before producing her iPhone. "Would you do me the honor of an autograph?"
"Franklin...", the young man offered, his name likely swallowed up by the clergywoman's fangirl reaction to Docta G. He had to admit, the gnome was quite flamboyant, and likely almost always created a strong reaction of some kind. The accountant patiently waited for the priestess to produce her iPhone and a pen of some sort so the good Docta could oblige her (hopefully) and they could descend down and take care of the issue at hand.
Docta G is almost as surprised as the priestess, though his momentary excitement at meeting a real live fan is quickly swallowed by his instinct to play it chill, or at least as chill as he can be, "The one and only! Aw, fo shizzle on that autograph!"
He signs his name on the phone, chunky letters with cartoonish flames around them.
Docta G motions to Franklin, "And this is my homie F Dawg. He goes by Franklin though."
Aelia offers a quick, polite bow to Franklin. "It is good to meet you as well, F-Dawg. And Faith-in-the-Rain, of course."
She grins giddily at her phone and shakes it a bit to help the ink dry, then pockets it.
"And you?" she asks the good brother.
Brother Joe chuckles as the priestess totally forgot his name once The Docta made the scene. "Joseph Waskalis, caydenite cleric."
Aelia looks surprised. "Oh! Right, you did mention that. My apologies."
She arrives at a barred door with the group. "The catacombs are through here," she explains. "If you are ready, I will collect my scrolls so that I may perform the rite-- unless you would rather do the honors, Brother Joseph?"
"Ready your scrolls, Aelia", Brother Joe said, taking his holy symbol in hand. "Franklin, can you help me with the door, please?"
Focusing, Faith called up a massive hammer almost as tall as she was. If they were more bone than flesh it should leave a mark. Or shattered femurs.
Franklin looked at Docta G and the priestess confusedly as they both referred to him as F-Dawg, but he decided to just roll with it. He was self aware enough to know that he was definitely the 'square' of the bunch, and it wouldn't help things if he pointed out silly things like that.
When Joe prompted him, Franklin nodded and helped get the door open so they could put put the formerly dead people in the catacombs re-dead so that they could resume their rest and not cause the untimely deaths of others.
With the party fairly ready, Franklin and Joe heft the sturdy board out of the way and lean it against the wall beside (once Aelia returns with the scrolls, of course).
The door opens, and beyond are... shelves, basically, with coffins in them. Most of the coffins are decorated with symbols and murals of what their inhabitants enjoyed in life, and those that aren't are, at least, made of a nice wood and sanded to a smooth, glossy finish.
It's something of an odd contrast, as otherwise the catacombs are pretty... catacomb-y. Dark, dry, with the occasional torch sconce (each of which Aelia helpfully lights with a candle lighter) as they pass.
"We have been here for quite some time," she says, "not quite since the pilgrims landed here, but... not long after, either."
Judging by how far the darkness seems to stretch, she's probably not lying.
Muffled by the distance, the party can hear what sounds like clattering, as well as the bouncy notes of xylophone music.
Franklin looked about at the shelving full of the dead, glad at this instance he didn't have any of the numerous phobias this place would certainly trigger. When the priestess mentioned just how long the church had been here, the accountant groaned inwardly, hoping that most of the current occupants had decided to continue their eternal sleep and it was just a small percentage that needed to be convinced to lay back down again. As he heard the clattering and dreaded xylophones, the young man rolled his shoulders and prepared to plant these bastards back in the ground.
Faith smiled a little as she heard the bones dance. If you were going to get up and be a problem in your death you might as well have fun with it. Sadly, the undead likely weren't getting funky with it, but she hefted the Earth Breaker and focused on where the monsters were - and if anything else might be closer. Thankfully, the weapon could also hurt ghosts...
The hall goes on for a little while, and from the way the shelved caskets seem to be on a different alignment than the floor, it's swiftly clear that the hallway is at a slight downwards slant-- the group is descending with each step.
Eventually, the shelves give way to an opening, and a room beyond it; it seems well-lit, and the clickety-clack of bones sounds like it's right around the corner.
Blue
Yellow
Docta
Red
Orange
Franklin
Faith
Joe
The Party may act! (Call it a Surprise Round, but with a full round available to each of you. These skellies aren't paying too close attention.)
Well, this sounded like fun. Faith popped around the corner and spotted the skeletons. She couldn't get close enough to attack, but that's what spells were for. Well, she was supposed to do this without too much devastation, and so she cast Grease beneath the feet of the two closest together. If they were on the boney ass they'd be no problem.
Determined to not let the others go into harm's way before him, Franklin rounded the corner and set himself into a defensive stance, frowning as he saw the walking dead as the room opened up. Still, he raised his fists, planning on trying to deck the first one that might walk up to him.
With a great clattering, both skeletons lose their footing-- it's hard to keep it, without any soft flesh to provide friction-- and drop!
"NGYAAAAAAAAAA"
Doc hits play on his boombox and starts rapping, "These enemies ain't zombies so they ain't tryna moan but these bony motha 'uckas are bouta get boned!"
The caydenite watches as his rapier now burns with an arcane flame. That HAS to help, Joe thought.
The skeleton with the yellow... uh, bones? It's just bones, I'm not sure how I'm going to-- screw it, they were buried in hats.
The skeleton in the yellow hat rises from the grease pile and raises its bony arms to protect itself .
The one in the blue hat moves forward as well, and crouches over the fallen red-hat, taking up a similar stance!
Blue
Yellow
Docta
Red
Orange
Franklin
Faith
Joe
The Docta may act!
Docta G keeps rapping, "You know my raps are so much fire, my raps are super hot, take a punch from my words to the gut you ain't got!"
Red tries to get up... but the floor is just too slippery! The skeleton with the orange nose hole thingy moves up beside it, and pulls the skeleton from the grease trap behind itself.
Blue
Yellow
Docta
Red
Orange
[b]Franklin
Faith
Joe[/b[
Faith focused on disabling the one on the ground, letting the others go ham on the ones still up and wiggly.
Brother Joe bravely walks up to the rising undead and holds his holy symbol, letting a energy channel fly.
Faith swings, and her big ol' hammer collides with the skeleton's ribcage-- which goes flying across the room, skittering across the ground, and then smashes into the far wall. The rest of its bones, without the torso to connect it, fall in a pile to the floor, slipping and sliding in all directions.
Meanwhile...
All three of the still-living skeletons cower and clatter as the energy washes over them! One holds its skull in its bony hands, one folds its arms across its chest, and the one on the ground clings to the nearest skeleton's ankle.
Blue (-1)
Docta
Red (-1, prone)
Orange (-1)
Franklin
Faith
Joe
Franklin's turn!
Franklin tenses his entire body...
And lets out a groan.
"I, uh, don't know how to say this, but I need to go to the bathroom. Now."
He excuses himself thusly.
Blue, meanwhile, withdraws!
Or rather, tries to. With a quick slip, this skeleton, too, falls flat on their pelvis.
Blue (-1, prone)
Docta
Red (-1, prone)
Orange (-1)
Franklin
Faith
Joe
Docta G's time to bust a move!
"Aye you nasty skeleton take a word from me, you the ugliest skeleton I ever did see!" As Docta G raps, an audible blast of flaming verse flies from his mouth and slams into the skeleton.
The one skeleton remaining on its feet is torn from the others, its scorched bones flying across the room and falling to the floor, bones rolling about in all directions.
Red, meanwhile, crawls over to cover behind some coffins!
Blue (-1, prone)
Docta G
Red (-1, prone)
Franklin
Faith
Joe
Everyone but Docta G is up!
Brother Joe advances toward the retreating red skeleton, and attempts to bash it with his rapier's pommel.
Well, things seemed to be going well. So Faith hit the one next to her with her sword again.
Neither Joe nor Faith are able to damage the cowering skeletons! Joe's hilt doesn't have quite the momentum to damage bone, while Faith's blade has much the same issue.
Joe feels a cold bone start to grab his ankle by the jeans, but with a quick jerk, he's able to free himself
Blue (-1, Prone)
Docta G
Red (-1, Prone)
Faith
Joe AoO
The Good Docta can go, and Joe can take an AoO!
Docta G sends another blast of flaming rap music at the fallen skeleton, "Yeah you skeleton sleepin' on the ground like a lame, time to get smacked with Docta G's flame!"
Joe isn't able to land a solid blow-- but it doesn't matter all that much as Docta G's verse hits; its skull bobs to the beat for a moment before it opens its jaw in a soundless scream, engulfed in flames.
It clatters to the floor, a pile of blackened bones.
The red skeleton reaches out toward the burning one, but there is little it can do. It cowers in the corner and turns its head away from Joe, bony fingers clasped together.
Docta G
Red (-1, Prone)
Faith
Joe
Faith paused as the thing acted in very mortal ways. "Is...is that normal?" she asked the others, rather hesitant to attack after spotting the mortal traits.
Holding out his holy symbol, Joe addressed the undead. "Why are not at rest? Is something keeping you here on this side of the Veil?"
The last survivor shivers, its bones clattering still. It turns its head slowly back toward Joe and the rest of the group; when death does not come, it cocks its head, clacks its teeth together a few times, and then makes a few motions: first, pointing to Joe; then, pointing to its own head; then, it points upward with both fingers and cycles them in a motion not unlike pedaling backwards on a bicycle.
Brother Joe shakes his head no. "Does anybody here know Sign Language?"
Aelia slowly raises a hand.
"I'm afraid I don't, but if you can translate..." Faith said with a sinking feeling.
Brother Joe, still keeping eye contact with the intelligent skeleton, holds up one finger and points to Aelia. "You're on."
Aelia gives a quick, anxious nod and steps forward.
Aelia clearly hasn't used her signs in a while; the skeleton hasn't, either, and the motions often include pauses inbetween.
"I did not know that was possible!"
"Oh, what's the sign for 'Rovagug'..."
"That cannot be good!"
After some more signing, she turns back to the group.
"The skeleton says that, apparently, they've been rising whenever the consecration lapses for years now, and they usually try to get back in their coffins when they hear someone coming-- but they didn't notice us until we'd reached them, this time."
"If I'm reading the signs right, it sounds like they were not the only ones. Many Shelynites have been buried here, but something... else rises deep within, preying upon the skeletons when they rise."
"They've been staying up here just to keep away from it."
"Some shiznit is eatin' bones? Crazy! Whatchu think it is?"
"I'm... not sure, honestly. It does not bode well for the peaceful dead..."
The priestess seems full of sorrow at this.
"Hmm. Something that hunts the undead. Something like that isn't unheard of", Brother Joe ponders aloud.
Faith also tried to consider what might be out that there that munched on bones.
Drawing a bit of a blank, she tried a different route. "I'm sorry we attacked you," Faith said slowly. "We didn't understand what was happening. Do you think you can help guide us by your friends so this doesn't happen again?"
The skeleton survivor looks hesitant for a moment, but nods, holding a pair of bony hands to its chest.
"It'll be good to have a guide," says the priestess.