Desperate to impress, Nessie runs at the nearest goblin and attempts another disarm, snatching away their weapon, and then glances back at the cat person with a huge, expectant smile.
The goblin braces itself for Nessie's charging in, and is happy to find that rather than simply being stabbed, the aquatic half-elf is trying something a little fancier; taking the opportunity, she lunges forward with her dagger.
Though she manages to leave a long cut along Nessie's arm, the wound is shallow, and
Nessie's always been good at liberating objects she needs, and comes away with it holding a small dagger in what was her free hand! The goblin mostly just looks at her with a "what am I supposed to do now?" expression.
A longspear-wielding goblin approaches Franklin from the north, while another wearing purple shades heads toward the group; meanwhile, the teeming masses of assembled gob troops make their way around, hoping to catch the group in a pincer-- while a third group tries to attack head-on.
Unfortunately, as they pass beside the fire, they find that the grass here is surprisingly slippery! They tumble in a heap of goblins.
Hopefully the fire doesn't spread too far before they can get back on their feet...
Round 4
Cassidy and Sadducee
Joe, -3
Supergob
Goblins with Warm or White Colored Borders
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblins with Cool Colored Borders (Green -1)
Goblin Troops
~Sadducee (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain
??????
??????
The Fire
Faith smirked at the pile of greasy goblins. They certainly wouldn't be following them for a moment. They might also be extra flammable, but that would just mean less kidnapping there rapper. Still, the fire was getting a little out of hand. Maybe there was something here...but she couldn't see it for now. She prepared in case one got too close.
Braniri gives a quick thumbs-up and a wink to the fishy elf before clapping her hand back on the haft of her axe. With a mighty swing, the axe head lodges halfway through a nearby tree-- after cleaving through a goblin, whose head and shoulders topple to the ground on the other side.
Taking a quick survey of the area, she takes a few massive steps toward the west, frowning as she looks at the small space between the cart and the tree. "This is gonna be tight..."
The fire crackles but does not grow...
much.
The now-grease-covered-goblins ignite quite suddenly as the flames find a spark, and the cacophonous sound of a dozen or so gobs screaming in unison only lasts a few seconds before dissolving into a few gurgles. The flame makes it hard to see what's going on, but in a few moments, it settles back down into the foliage, a bunch of small, charred figures crackling lifelessly atop the flaming grass.
Seeming satisfied with this, the fox's white tails give a swish; an otherworldly light shines in its eyes, and Brother Joe and Docta G feel, suddenly, cold.
Joe, given his hometown, recognizes the wintry chill as being remarkably like opening the door on a Midwest snowstorm that crept in while he wasn't looking. While it's not painful, it is, at the very least, brisk.
DC17
Moreover, a blizzard seems to have formed rather suddenly atop the flame, ice and snow combining with the rain to fight the spreading blaze. The mass of precipitation causes a slow hiss as steam mingles with the smoke.
Round 5
Cassidy and Sadducee
Joe, -3
Supergob
Goblins with Warm or White Colored Borders
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblins with Cool Colored Borders (Green -1)
Goblin Troops
~Sadducee (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain
?????? the Cat
?????? the Fox
The Fire
The Marvins and Joe are up!
Brother Joe begins to shiver from the rain and now, snow. What the Hell? Did someone cast a spell? It's seems to be helping, ponder the sagacious cleric.
True to himself, his god, and his intentions, Joe continues to use the create water orison to fight the fire, moving from flame to flame.
Emboldened by the cat lady's strange song, the two gnomes stand atop each other and charge at a goblin, screaming!
There's a somewhat satisfying splashing, hissing noise as Cayden manifests water at Joe's request; the scent of brandy is added to the wood smoke and goblin barbecue aroma.
"That smells delicious, I'm not even gonna lie," says the big cat.
A little ways north, a stampeding pair of gnomes converge quickly upon the goblin in the purple, who stumbles in his attempt to duck behind the nearby tree for cover. Instead of that happening, he is torn to pieces by the combined forces of Cassidy's scythe and Sadducee's horrible fingernails, his terrible screams joining the gnome duo's until he falls to the ground, a pile of ripped-up, sliced-up goblin bits.
Meanwhile...
A horrible, scratchy voice fills the forest.
SuperGob finally descends, although his Superman onesie is now missing entirely, replaced by what appears to be a cool blue sailor suit. A tiara with a big, red K on the top adorns his green head, and the skirt appears to say STORE CLOSING on it. Blue LEDs adorn his bracers, and he swings a staff in an arc, pointing towards the cart and the heroes surrounding it!
The goblin hops up, swinging his arms desperately in an attempt to grab its knife back.
It has no luck, and if Nessie's not feeling generous, might get a stab for its trouble.
Round 5
Cassidy and Sadducee
Joe, -3
Supergob
White-Bordered Gob
Nessie + AoO on White
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblins with Cool Colored Borders (Green -1)
Goblin Troops
~Sadducee (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain
?????? the Cat
?????? the Fox
The Fire
As the goblin hops toward her, Nessie shrieks and instinctively stabs him with his own dagger.
"I'm so sorry about this," she apologizes, crying, and stabs him with her other blade.
As Joe conjured brandy-scented water to put out the fire, Franklin hoped the smell was just a divine cherry on top and not actual brandy, as he was pretty sure it was flammable. Giving the Super K goblin a dubious look, he decided to leave it for their large cat-friend as he stepped to the goblin nearest him.
Staying in his fighting stance and weaving back and forth to keep the goblin guessing where he was going, Franklin jabbed his left hand out lazily, planting his left foot firmly before spinning clockwise, right fist extended and catching the goblin in the side of its head as he came to an instant stop close to where he had started.
Docta G draws his shortsword and readies himself to attack any goblins that might come close.
As the good Docta makes ready to defend himself, Nessie and Franklin fight in the woods.
As his own dagger sinks into his shoulder, the goblin shrieks in pain and rage, reaching to retrieve it from himself before another blade sinks into his ribs and he goes down like a sack of moldy, bloody potatoes.
Meanwhile, Franklin's right hook hits the goblin just under the cheekbone; he spins out into the grass with a heavy thud, and doesn't look like he's about to get up from the forest floor any time soon.
As two goblins fall, dozens rush in in tightly-packed groups to take their places.
Round 5
Cassidy and Sadducee
Joe, -3
Supergob
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops
~Sadducee (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain
?????? the Cat
?????? the Fox
The Fire
Faith-in-the-Rain is up!
"OK, so now we have a magic goblin powered by a blue light." Faith sighed. What the hell had happened here? This was an utter mess. Still, she raised her sword and waited for the next Goblin dumn enough to attack.
The big cat huffs, starting to look tired. "Bibi! Finish up that fire so we can get MC Baby Gap and his friends to the boat!"
The fox nods and yips, and a torrent of water pours from the sky over the northern ridge of flame.
DC15
As this happens, the big catfolk squeezes through between the tree and the golf cart, carefully avoiding stepping on her wife, and knocking both the cart and Joe with her hips in the process. She gets in position to knock the goblin troop around... but doesn't have time to raise her axe yet.
The fire crackles... but does not grow!
Round 6
Cassidy and Sadducee
Joe, -3
Supergob
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops
~Sadducee (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox
The Fire
Nudged by the giantess catfolk, Brother Joe walks through the soaked area created by the fox, and continues his fight against the remaining fire.
Sadducee makes an unwise beeline towards the Supergoblin, taking Cassidy along with her one way or another and jabs her nails into the gob's throat, giggling.
As the empowered goblin's feet hit the ground, the gnomes rush toward him. Though he manages to keep his trachea on the inside, he does take a somewhat nasty scrape where his neck meets the shoulder.
Immediately determining this is a problem, he twirls away, raising a small scepter above his head.
"BLUE PRISM POWER!! WAKE UP!!!"
A blue glow coalesces into shimmering armor across his body.
Round 6
Cassidy and Sadducee
Joe, -3
Blue Light Special, -4
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops
~Sadducee (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox
The Fire
Franklin frowned as the Supergob conjured up some kind of magical energy after the bloodthirsty gnomes scored a nasty-looking hit on the thing. The accountant thought maybe he should have paid more attention to all the weird apps on his phone instead of busting his ass in the gym and dojo, but the choice had been made and there was nothing to do but proceed with the skill set he had acquired.
Quickly skirting around the Marvins, Franklin came in at the Supergob's other side, snapping off a stiff straight-kick to see what would happen if he connected with that weird energy.
DC16
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Despite being of elven heritage, Nessie doesn’t know s@%# about magic (her parents are very disappointed) and has no idea what’s going on. She rushes toward the SuperGob and stabs at him halfheartedly, not especially eager to kill again.
Docta G keeps his sword at the ready in case any gobbos approach.
Franklin slips through the trees, coming up on the K-Mart fanatical goblin. His foot juts forward, and for a second, seems to be held at bay by the hard blue light... before the light shatters, and the martial artist connects with a hard hit. As the goblin staggers backward, the light shards rejoin into their previous position.
"YOU PAY FOR THAT!!" howls the goblin, "FULL PRICE!! NO COUPONS APPLY!!!!"
The gaggle of goblins near the cart see the big catfolk with the flaming battleaxe and, though wisdom is not their forte, understand just enough to avoid charging straight at it. They carefully cover their flank as they move around the cart.
Thinking that she's clever (or perhaps not thinking it through at all), the big catfolk tries to cleave the goblin mass straight through the golf cart.
While she does succeed in cleaving the canopy clean off, she doesn't actually strike any goblins.
As the small green horde rounds the cart, Docta G finds himself face-to-face with them. Hopping from one foot to the other, he lashes out, trying to keep the whole lot of them off their rhythm.
He turns out to be mostly juke with a blade, though, and mostly succeeds at nicking fingers and giving one of them a cut lip.
The other big group of goblins becomes much more of a problem, however, quickly entering the fray with the Blue Light Special. Sharp sticks, dull daggers, and hard rocks are jabbed or thrown at the mounted Marvins!
Round 6
Cassidy (-4) (and Sadducee)
Joe, -3
Blue Light Special, -4
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops
~Sadducee (-4) (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox
The Fire
Faith-in-the-Rain may act!
Suddenly very glad that she was very short, Faith looked at the roof - or where the roof had been - and considered herself fortunate. She hopped out of the vehicle with a sigh.
Faith did not out easily as she might, and provoked a potential attack from the Goblin swarm. But at least she could strike back.
The goblins do in fact see the miniature tiefling clambering off of the vehicle, and gets a few jabs in unfortunate places for her trouble.
In retaliation, Faith brings her psychic weapon into the swarm; her
The magus's psychic blade cleaves through one goblin, turning aside the blade of another before she lunges forward with the blood-stained weapon, skewering another. She seems half-likely to disappear into the goblin mass, swinging away, before she finds her footing and her stance again. All things considered, she looks significantly badass for a novice.
The big cat grins a very pointy-looking grin. "Nice!"
She stops a moment, though, and looks around. It seems that she's out of space to maneuver at her size... so she clears her throat.
Meanwhile, the fox's tails keep waving, and the rain keeps coming down in intense, precise bursts, hissing out the flames. As if to sing along, it yowls along, as if to provide a harmony.
It's decidedly off-key.
The fire roars, doing its best to spread... but not having much room to do so.
Round 7
Cassidy (-4) (and Sadducee)
Joe, -3
Blue Light Special, -4
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops
~Sadducee (-4) (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain (-3)
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox
The Fire
The Marvins and Brother Joe may act!
The caydenite, by now is thoroughly soaked. I hope my phone's not too water-damaged, Joe ponders, as he throws create water orison after creat water orison at the flames. Might have to buy some rice, for the smart phone dry-out trick I keep seeing online.
Cassidy slices her sickle at the goblin horde, easily lopping off a head or two, and braces herself as Sadducee sidles begins wheeling back away from the horde of angry gobbos.
Sadducee, for her part, steps back very carefully before booking it around a bunch of trees.
Joe's god seems to be running an open bar, as far as the water is concerned! There's another hiss as he douses more of the flame.
A few goblin heads go flying, and others fall with horrible gashes in their chests as Cassidy's sickle makes its way through the mass of goblins!
The Blue Light Special, his thin, greasy hair flowing free in the moon and firelight-- seemingly unaffected by the rain that would usually mat it to his scalp-- steps back through the trees, raises his Blue Light Scepter into the air, and begins chanting!
DC 16
Round 7
Cassidy (-4) (and Sadducee)
Joe, -3
Blue Light Special, -4
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops (Red -13, Light Blue -12)
~Sadducee (-4) (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain (-3)
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox
Nessie, Docta G, and Franklin may act!
The Fire
Franklin's expression revealed his horror as the gnome duo went about the goblin horde, swinging their weapon with abandon as limbs went flying. As the Supergob stepped back and started to chant, the accountant decided he'd rather not find out what the creature was up to. He stepped around the nearest tree to the goblin's side, stopping on his left foot and swinging his right leg out to throw a kick at the Supergob's chest before following up with a stiff punch to the gut.
The Blue Light Special’s chanting now is a little slurred, as the kick leads him right into the gut punch; winded, he continues .
Doc points at the nearest goblin and says, ”You gon’ regret messin’ with me. The docta’s order are that you can’t see!”
The Docta's prescription is filled in record time as a ball of light rockets from his finger, hurling a few feet forward and detonating in the middle of the goblin horde.
The goblins in front, not being too bright, turn to look at it once it whizzes past them, and when it POPs in a dazzling display, the whole lot of them squeal in frustration as their senses are scrambled!
The troop near Faith, Docta G, Brother Joe, and the strangers moves in, snarling and leaving the corpses of their brethren behind!
The lot of them, seeing what appears to be a weird, many-tailed dog, practically go rabid, screeching and hollering as they jab at it with their weapons!
The fox, for what its worth, only glances back over its shoulder as the horde descends upon it, making slow, precise movements and barely getting out of the way of a good bulk of them. Still, one digs into her... ankle? That tendony bit at the back of a canine's leg. You know the one.
She shakes it off as if it barely hurt her, even though a bit of red starts trickling down her leg.
Meanwhile, the troop near Nessie, Franklin, and the Twins is having a little trouble interposing itself where it needs to be to protect the Blue Light. It settles for lashing out at the only target within reach--
--jabbing and poking at Nessie. The damage isn't great, but it's probably more of a consequence than anything the heiress has received up to this point in her life.
Round 7
Cassidy (-4) (and Sadducee)
Joe, -3
Blue Light Special, -4
Nessie
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops (Red -13, Light Blue -12)
~Sadducee (-4) (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain (-3)
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox (-4)
The Fire
Faith may act!
For once, it would actually be useful to be taller as the swarm of Goblins tried to overwhelm them. Instead of being waist deep like her new compatriots, Faith was neck deep. And therefore closer to the scent. The day had not been kind the Goblin's scent.
On the plus side, it was hard to miss when you had a big sword and a wall of targets.
If you have never seen a half-sized tiefling swirling a blade around in the middle of a horde of goblins, you clearly have not seen Kurgron Wick 3, a recent action movie classic about a tiefling whose hellhound is murdered incidentally by a goblin cartel.
Those of you who have seen that movie note that it may not have been as CGI'd as you would have originally suspected, as chunks of green flesh and deep red blood go flying in all directions in the dim light of the dying fire.
After about, say, six seconds, Faith-in-the-Rain stands, panting, now also waist-high in goblins as all goblins surrounding her have been cut down to half size.
They do not smell particularly better now that they're quite disembowled, it should be noted.
The big cat's... eyebrows? Do catfolk have eyebrows?
Regardless, the cat raises that general area. "Nice job, half-pint!" she says with a big, fangly grin.
The fox nods at Faith in affirmation before hitting the flames with another splash of water-- and another row of flames is extinguished.
There's a kind of pop sound, and quite suddenly, where the giant catfolk once stood stands a more regular-sized catfolk. Admittedly, with her flaming greataxe, she's still fairly intimidating. Just... less so.
Round 7
Cassidy (-4) (and Sadducee)
Joe, -3
Blue Light Special, -4
Nessie, -2
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops (Red DEAD, Light Blue -12)
~Sadducee (-4) (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain (-3)
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox (-4)
The Marvins and Joe are up! (Joe, this may be slightly meta knowledge I'm giving here, but the fire is quite nearly contained at this point-- you get the sense that Cayden would be all right with you helping your friends elsewhere.)
Something gives Brother Joe pause from casting create water left and right. The cleric looks around to see the majority of Last Call in the distance fighting off a literal clusterf#<k of goblins.
Drawing his sacred weapon, the caydenite raises his rapier high in the air and shouts, "ALRIGHT! WHICH ONE OF YOU EVIL MUTHERF#<KERS WANTS IT FIRST!!" Brother Joe then battle screams across the forest, charging to join the distant fray.
Drawing his sacred weapon, the caydenite raises his rapier high in the air and shouts, "ALRIGHT! WHICH ONE OF YOU EVIL MUTHERF#<KERS WANTS IT FIRST!!"
A hail of goblin voices respond; consensus seems to be that you need to figure out which member of the troop is named "Jeff."
For what it's worth, Jeff is protesting this decision.
The dual blows to this torso seem to be too much; the gathering light dissipates, and the sailor suited goblin steps back, deciding to go with something else.
he shouts.
His bruises seem to be... fading? Albeit slowly...
Round 7
Cassidy (-4) (and Sadducee)
Joe, -3
Blue Light Special, -3, -16NL
Nessie, -2
Docta G, fatigued
Franklin
Goblin Troops (Light Blue -12)
~Sadducee (-4) (currently acting on Cassidy's turn?)
Faith-in-the-Rain (-3)
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox (-4)
Nessie, Docta G, and Franklin are up! The Marvins may act whenever they're ready!
Perhaps getting a bit nervous about the resilience of the supergob, or maybe about the approaching goblin horde, the accountant followed the foe as it retreated, his approach off-balance and sloppy as his eyes followed the nearby howling goblins more than the blue-light caster.
Combat slows as everyone quietly wonders to themselves, what exactly is going on here? Why is this remarkably similar to Sailor Moon?
If this is Sailor Moon, are we the baddies?
Regardless, Franklin's blows come up short!
The smaller horde moves closer, its numbers dwindling; they attempt to lash out at Nessie, but with significantly fewer gobs, their strikes are less assured:
...But still about as annoying:
A few scrapes gouge flesh from the young 1%er with a howling, yowling sound of goblin enthusiasm!
Round 7
Joe (-3)
Blue Light Special (-3, -16NL)
Franklin
Goblin Troop (Light Blue -12)
Nessie (-5)
Docta G, fatigued
The Marvins (both at -4)
Faith-in-the-Rain (-3)
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox (-4)
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"WHO ORDERED THE SPICY NACHOS!!" Bellowed the caydenite as he charged the goblin heap.
Two things happen:
Firstly, a goblin is skewered right through the eye.
Secondly, about three of the other goblins in the pile absolutely lose it.
"did he say nachos"
"NACHOS!?!?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
The goblins that have not been skewered all drop their pointy sticks and start clamoring towards Joe.
Well, spicy nachos did sound interesting. Maybe they could go eat after the murdering finished. She headed towards the Goblin, assuming the weird cat was probably safe for the DJ. There wasn't room to charge so it might all be done by the time she got there, but...
The fox and cat trot closer... but slow their gait as they approach. They seem more content to watch, for now?
Docta G, taking a page from their book, leans up against a tree to gawk.
Nessie and the Marvins are distracted by the goblins climbing Joe like a tree, trying to determine if they should help.
Having little options, meanwhile, the Blue Light Special lashes out at Joe with his scepter!
There's a very decidedly-placed blow... that nonetheless does not do a lot of damage, as the spinning blue light in the glass conks on his forehead.
Round 8
Joe (-3)
Blue Light Special (-3, -16NL)
Franklin (-2)
Nessie (-5)
Docta G, fatigued
The Marvins (both at -4)
Faith-in-the-Rain (-3)
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox (-4)
Everyone is up!
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The goblins were mostly dealt with, and whatever weird visitors had shown up didn’t seem to want to kill them. In Docta G’s book, that was a success. He stayed leaning against the tree.
He was damn tired.
Faith moved over to the glowy blue Goblin, changing her sword to a sap as she went, and tried conking the sod on the head.
Franklin panicked as his vision blurred, the ridiculous blue light clouding his field of vision until it was all he could see. He lashed out with a sweeping kick and looping punch, managing to blurt out "Sorry!" on the off chance he accidentally hit or near-missed his allies.
Docta G finds that the tree is quite nice for a lean-- one of those softer woods that doesn't make you ache within seconds of pressing on it. Nice!
He watches as Faith approaches and hits the goblin smack in the forehead; his eyes cross and he holds his head where he was struck, but he doesn't go down!
But boy does he look like he's about to!
Meanwhile, Franklin manages to hit... nothing! Not even a tree! (Which is, of course, fortunate-- Franklin has been splitting boards in his self-defense classes, and is not certain how living trees would hold up to his skill.)
Joe, the Marvins, and Nessie are up!
Joe (-3)
Blue Light Special (-2, -22NL)
Franklin (-2)
Nessie (-5)
Docta G, fatigued
The Marvins (both at -4)
Faith-in-the-Rain (-3)
?????? the Cat
Bibi the Fox (-4)
"Aaah! Get off!!" The caydenite shouts as he become a goblin jungle gym'.
Joe is up to his neck in reachy-grabby goblins! They reach into his pockets, yanking out items that may or may not be important and tossing them to the ground; one of them practically crawls into his backpack and starts rooting through it, with the telltale slap of goods falling into the mud.
Phone!
Wallet!
Keys!
Some candles!
A softcover edition of Gnarly Parties: A Guide to Serving Cayden Cailean in Modern Times (published in 1989)!
Soap??? The goblin in his backpack throws that as far as he can.
(Which is not particularly far, admittedly.)