Gypsumay is not amused.
Tanz stares at Igor intently for a moment, eyes narrowed, then turns back to Vimes.
the troll raises his hand,
Risbeth shrugs. "Well, there is the question about whether you want your normal discount for services rendered, Vimsey, but we'll wait for Carrot to be out of the room, you know how he blushes." She says, a little of her normal spirit returning. "Corporal, as members of the citizen's watch, it is, I believe, required that we be provided with the rules and regulations in written form, and that we sign for them, is that not correct?" She asks, raising a finger. "In which case, we'll need to sit and read through them, in detail, prior to signing anything. And I do believe that the Citizen's Watch is a voluntary position, is it not? Ergo, if we don't sign, we're not actually in the Citizen's watch. So, if you'll be so good as to get us the manual, so we can start reading them." She turns to the mortals in the room. "Well, by the time we finish reading them, Raul may be a bit too old to find the evidence, but I'm sure we can use him as a rug or something."
Raul sits, letting the insult roll off his shoulders. "Good to have you back to annoying rather than homicidal."
Trops, who had started walking in circles from not being listened to, goes up to Raul and goes up Raul. Arriving on the men's shoulder's he starts whispering (in his own shrill yelling type voice).
"Goatie man, know what, we only need one person to make arresTS. You have trouble with people in tOWN, so get in the watch, it will helpyOU!. Save your friends reputatiONS"
"We go find stuff, deal with stuff, and you get credit... well at least it was something we were going to do anyway."
Raul frowns. "Watch and I don't get along often."
Trops turns his head around to roll his eyes and goes on:
"That's the way to fix iT"
Tanz ponders this for a moment. Then he stares at the iou. Then ponders for a bit more. A quick glance at Igor, and some more pondering.
he shrugs, dropping the bit of paper and returning his attention to the unicycle.
Risbeth looks at Vimes. "Commander, let me put it to you like this. The Regent has already told us to find the killers or he's going to hang, stab, stake, behead, or otherwise execute us as the killers. People have tried to assassinate us already, twice, if you count the explosion. Now you're here, telling us you're going to give us all the legal requirements of being a watch member, without any of the protections, and that you're going to arrest Igor and charge him with murder if we don't go along with it. I fail to see why your threat to kill us is any different from the Regent's threat to kill us, or the assassin's attempts to kill us. If you want to work with us, we've been trying to get your attention for days now. We've asked at the Watch HQ, we tried to pull the patent grants to look for irregularities to give us a hint who might have had a reason to kill us for the money, as this stuff is usually about sex, money or religion. But someone from Watch took all the copies. So.. you tell me, what should we do? We can do what you want, and then the Regent declares us guilty. We can do what the Regent wants, and you arrest us for causing trouble in town. We're just pawns caught in a two-way power struggle and a 3-way murder attempt."
Tanz objects, standing up straight in his best tower impersonation.
It is not a very good impersonation.
Trops jumps unto Risbeth's shoulder. He pats her a bit and scratch her behind the ear hoping to calm her down. Before she has time to take him down, the gnome starts talking to the commander.
"Lady vampire has had quite an eventfull dAY !... Forgive hER. She is trying to say that you can help us in two waYS:1) give us access to the patent grants that your agents haVE and ..."
Seeing he is not welcome on the vampire's shoulder, Trops jumps unto Tanz the castle to take refuge and continues with his speech.
" 2) just say that we can arrest peopLE! Lady vampire does not need badges or documents, just HER telling people she can arrest them is enouGH!"
Risbeth sighs. "Trops, you can stop trying to save me from Vimes. The worst he can do is put me in jail. He's legally barred from doing much else. As long as I'm not violent. And I'm not violent, I am tired of people treating me like a puppet. If he wants my help, he can bloody say so, without the stupid games. Or he can put me in jail, I honestly don't care which at this point. As long as I'm not strapped down, I don't mind sitting a few hundred years in a jail cell. It'll be quiet, and I won't have to deal with white faced fools or assassins." She does catch Trop's eye. "On the other hand, if you keep trying to speak for me, I'll see if we can't get Igorina to at least give you a nice feminine voice that's soft and doesn't grate on the nerves. I'm sure she could find a voice box somewhere to shove down your throat."
Igorina nods. "Oh, yeth Mithtreth, I could find a Nightengale and Mithter Tropth would have a heavenly voice then."
Risbeth smiles at her servant, but it's rather a wan smile. Turning back to Vimes, she shrugs. "If you really want to find out who killed Reggie, you need bait. But you also need to push them into acting hastily, and making mistakes. If the patent still has our names on it, then it's the key. We could, with a little help from someone up high..." Risbeth nods at Vimes, and then nods in the direction of The Regent's offices. "...we could start up our own guild. The Gunmaker's Guild. That would provide us with powers we don't currently have, guilds have legal recourses even the Watch doesn't have. Plus, it would make whoever is trying to kill us have to move fast to take us out before we get fully established. A win win."
Gypsumay continues to stand and be annoyed with the whole process, the heat of her annoyance drops her IQ by a whole 3 or 4 points. There is a slight wirr as the fan tries to compensate.
"I won't be your puppet. We'll do this our own way."
From the top of his tower, Trops sighs with some subtlety.
Can't believe it... we could have had the chance to arrest people! Might have to visit Vimes soon.... 'inward sight*'
Yet, the wee man does nothing to change the situation.
Risbeth shrugs as she gives back the paper. "Vimes, We'll work with you, but not as forced indentured servants, or as people whom you pack restrictions on but give no authority to. I've consulted for the watch before, you know I have skills. So does everyone here. Bring us on as consultants, give us some actual authority. Help us get a guild going so we have some authority. Do something other than pile more restrictions on our actions. Anything." Risbeth counters, hoping to get the man to see reason.
Risbeth smiles, showing off fangs. "Oh, why didn't you say so? See how things get cluttered up? You can't directly employ us. No problem." She turns to Igorina. "Igorina, don't you and Igor know an out of work Igorina or Igor who's in desperate need to start a consulting company?"
Gypsumay continues to stare at the goings on. The wire of her Helmut fan begins to become an oppressive drone.
Silence and stillness for Trops (who is enjoying is new castle, trying to figure out whether a flag with a giant pigeon would be a fitting style fo Tanz).