Tanz the Troll's page

About Tanz the Troll

Entry the first:

To-day I have set about to document the magnificent, marvelous, and possibly even miraculous events that occurred during the life of I, one Tanz, along with my companions, Sword the blackblade,

”Hey, that's me! You're writing about me!”

”Shut up Sword am writing book! Need concentrate!”

”I feel it is my duty to point out that it's more you that is my companion, rather than the other way around.”

”Beg differ!”

*thwacking sound*

”Fine, fine, write it all wrong. Be a glory hog for all I care.”

”Yes. Like hog.”

*sighing sound*

and Igor the Igor.

It all began when I was born. I was what is called a 'bright one' by my people, meaning that I had crystalline skin, as opposed to the rather more opaque rockiness of the majority of my brethren. I was a diamond troll. This afforded me many opportunities that would have otherwise been denied me, and for which I am most grateful. However, the most important event of my life before coming to Ankh-Morpork was of course my awakening of Sword.

*snorting sound*

I discovered Sword on one of my many meditative journeys high up the mountains where it is cold enough to properly facilitate cognitive action. During my musings, I felt the resounding blow of the troll gods guidance fall upon my head. At roughly the same time, a small avalanche buried me. It took no small amount of time to work my way out, but upon doing so I espied a cave, newly uncovered by the avalanche. Again feeling the troll gods guidance, I braved onwards, delving into the depths of the dark abyss. Within the cave was a weapon of impeccable quality. Most of my kindred do not favor weapons, honorably choosing to use their fists during martial combat, but there are some accounts of weapon usage amongst us. As such, I recognized the weapon as a terbutje, raw and primal, yet possessing a hidden grace and beauty.

”Aw, now you're just trying to butter me up.”

”You not bread, not need butter.”

”Aaaand happy moment gone."

As I grasped it, I felt a magick stir within me, reaching out to the weapon. I felt it stir to life, as a mother might feel her child kick.

”Creepy. Very very creepy. Please stop writing.”

*thwacking sound*

I quickly realized the significance of the moment, and was lost in revelry at my fortune. Fortunately, Sword was not lax in his duties and quickly brought me back to the present.

”Ah yes. I stabbed you in the foot. Good times.”

After a brief introduction, we quickly realized we held a shared destiny. Sword unfortunately was unaware of how long he had been dormant, and as my knowledge of the greater world was lacking, I did not have the prerequisite information he required to accurately determine his temporal location. So after much discussion

”I feel that discussion is a rather... insufficient word, considering the frequency with which you bashed me against the walls...”

*thwacking sound*

”Yes! Much like that. Well done.”

we decided to venture to the great city of Ankh-Morpork, where we would attempt to discover what secrets we could at the libraries of the Unseen University. Upon entry, Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully excitedly greeted us, exclaiming about something along the lines of 'This Igor has been bothering me about exploding dust for a week now, please squash it'. How excited was I that so soon upon my arrival I had already engendered the trust of the Archchancellor himself! However, the task soon proved to be far more difficult than was at first assumed. Igors are remarkably resilient creatures.

”Aherm, a-yes master, thank you for noticing.”

After multiple failed attempts to complete my quest, I eventually had to admit defeat. This however led to an interesting conversation with said Igor, and a working relationship was soon begun. In return for the occasional chisel and polish, I would discontinue my attempts to squash it. The bargain seemed to satisfy both sides, and we soon began to discuss other things, namely the reason behind Igor's repeated intrusions upon the Archchancellors privacy. As it turns out, a new, revolutionary substance had recently been discovered, and of course weaponized. Unfortunately, the discoverer had a temperament distressingly similar to his invention, and fired Igor in a fit of rage. Something to do with soggy noodles. This Igor, unused to being masterless, went from personage to personage, attempting to reacquire work. However, an unemployed Igor is viewed with suspicion at best, and it was rebuffed at every turn. Until I came along of course. Igor then furnished me with sufficient proof of the power of this discovery, termed 'gunpowder', in the form of a gun. While it was difficult for me to use due to my stature, I could quickly see the ramifications of such a potent weapon. And thus started my epic quest! In between (searching for, room 3B is proving difficult to locate) lessons at the University and studying the properties of gunpowder, my companions and I began to get more and more caught up in the socio-political factions contending for this secret. Much to their woe.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Traits:

Feats:

• Ironhide
  
• Cohort

Skills:

• Acrobatics -1
  
• Appraise +1
  
• Bluff -1
  
• Climb +3
  
• Craft +1
  
• Diplomacy -1
  
• Disable Device -1
  
• Disguise -1
  
• Escape Artist -1
  
• Fly -1
  
• Handle Animal -1
  
• Heal -1
  
• Intimidate +5
  
• Knowledge (Arcana) +7
  
• Knowledge (Dungeoneering) +1
  
• Knowledge (Engineering) +1
  
• Knowledge (Geography) +1
  
• Knowledge (History) +1
  
• Knowledge (Local) +1
  
• Knowledge (Nature) +1
  
• Knowledge (Nobility) +1
  
• Knowledge (Planes) +1
  
• Knowledge (Religion) +1
  
• Linguistics +1
  
• Perception +1
  
• Perform -1
  
• Profession: Wizzard -1
  
• Ride -1
  
• Sense Motive +1
  
• Sleight of Hand -1
  
• Spellcraft +7
  
• Stealth -1
  
• Survival -1
  
• Swim +3
  
• Use Magic Device -1

Racial Abilities:

• Ancient Foe
  
• Crystalline Form
  
• Heat Based Intelligence

Class abilities:

• Arcane Pool (2)
  
• Spell Combat
  
• Spellstrike
  
• Blackblade

Spells:

• 0-level (4): Detect Magic, Ray of Frost, Light, Arcane Mark
  
• 1st-level (4): Ironbeard, Snowball x2, Magic Missile

Equipment:

• Helmut with fan
  
• Fire Forged Chain Shirt +1
  
• Blackblade

Attacks:

• Blackblade +6, 1d10+5/7, 19-20x2

AC:

• 10 base
  
• +5 armor
  
• +1 Bracers of Armor +1
  
• +1 Ironhide
  
• -1 size
  
• =16