"Yes I believe he also took on the one eyed giant by stabbing its only eye, while it slept by with a red-hot poker" Ziphora adds.
A Giant with a red hot poker? Sounds dangerous. What did he get stabbed wtih?
"I always assumed that Hydrasseous' stories were really euphemisms for killing things, personally."
Do you know what the word euphemism means? Tomorbataar asks.
"They dinnae even need to be euphemisms! Half of Hydrasseous' adventures are directly about killin' things! And aye, e' did fight the cyclops, stab out its eye, and then tear it to pieces whilst it could nae see and thought that 'Everyone' was out ter get him! That's one of my favorites, I must admit."
Do you know what the word euphemism means? Tomorbataar asks.
"Theoretically."
Did he ever trip the cyclops? If I were to fight a cyclops, I might try to trip it, since it only has two legs, and a cyclops that's fallen down is easy prey. Tomorbataar mimes a hooking motion with his head, although his capacity to actually trip a cyclops is dubious.
Theoretically? How could that possibly make sense?
”No I think Hydrasseous did it right. A blinded Cyclops would be easy prey. Besides Cyclops are BIG. Well maybe not as big as us but still big. Then there was something about him being punished for eating cows. But why did he eat cows?”
Theoretically? How could that possibly make sense?
"Look: we both came into being with the knowledge of ancient fighting styles in our brains. I think that mixing up a word or two is small peanuts compared to what we already know, and I've never even seen a peanut before!"
"You've never seen a peanut before?" Ziphora gawps at Beachhead in amazement before recovering. Then she assumes her most dandified pose, "Why my fellow hydra head, your lack of education is utterly Shocking! I must strive to remedy that at the first opportunity."
"The peanut, also known as the groundnut and the goober and taxonomically classified as Arachis hypogaea, is a legume crop grown mainly for its edible seeds.Peanut pods develop underground, an unusual feature known as geocarpy and each pod has 4 seeds..."
What word were you wishing was said? Tomorbataar asks, now looking rather calm.
Arachis hypogea? More like peanut.
Grash looked back and forth. "Peanuts? What does that have to do with Hydrasseous? Oh, whatever, it looks like we're at a decent spot ter camp now, if we must."
You eventually settle down and rest for the night, Mo finding a comfortable-enough spot nearby.
The next day dawns dark and gray, with thick clouds threatening rain. The only rumbling is from your stomach, however, which has grown used to feasting often.
Well now, I suppose we'd better go for some food. Tomorbataar says, stretching out in the luxurious bed, which he proceeds to move back onto the body.
Shall we entrust this task to Mo?
"Let's hunt. We should hunt in the same direction that we need to go to find the elf."
"Yes, hunt! Find animals, slay them, and then eat them! Proper hydra behavior! It's a show of weakness to need others to hunt for you."
Yeah, but it's a sign of strength that others are willing to hunt for you, and a sign of weakness to be afraid to look weak. Tomorbataar says, smart as a whip today, eh?, smiling to himself as they begin moving along.
I suppose we could hunt though.
Tomorbataar votes to go hunting towards the elf.
"I like people hunting for me. I'm lazy.."
Zip votes to send Mo out to hunt
Beachhead votes to hunt. Specifically, to hunt real good.
We'd get to the wizard faster if we let Mo hunt, since he's faster than us. Suppose you lot were just pretending to be angry at the wizard the other day though, don't actually mind taking your time. Tomorbataar peers around the woods as he talks.
Tomorbataar changes his vote to letting Mo hunt so they can move on quicker.
"Bah! I'm getting tired of all this indecision and pontificatin'. I say we both hunt while walking in the right direction, and we can see who's the better hunter."
Vote to hunt in direction of wizard, then find and trample wizard.
"Okay! I go hunting!" Mo agrees, then charges off to the east.
You travel on for about an hour, when suddenly you hear some crashing in the underbrush ahead of you. Moments later several deer burst into view, hotly pursued by Mo, a rock in his hand ready to throw. The deer take one look at you and suddenly change direction, trying to miss both the scary hydra and the yelling giant behind them.
Oh, nice, tasty venison. Perfect for eating, see, Mo is sufficient. Tomorbataar looks satisfied.
Tomorbataar votes to keep moving in the same direction.
Ziphora tries to stun a few deer with lightning bolts.
Grash urges the body forward, and if in range, throws things. Anything that comes to head, really, but in a pinch he summons spare drums to use as projectiles.
"Delicious deer! Trample and devour!!"
Come now Grash, we don't need to trample them. Not like we could anyway. Better to keep ambling along like gentlemen and let Mo take care of it.
Mo manages to hit one of the deer right in the head with his rock, while Ziphora strikes two more with lightning before the rest of the herd escapes into the underbrush.
The hill giant grins at you. "Good hunting!" he exclaims.
Indeed. About time for some lunch, I suspect, and then we can be off again. Tomorbataar keeps his eyes glancing around the trees, looking for the wizard's spies, but he is still mostly relaxed.
Tomorbataar votes to stop and eat.
Ziphora pulls a couple of random shrubs for garnishing and smoking the fire.
"So that's Rosemary, and that's Basil. Tear the leaves into tiny bits and rub it on the venison." Ziphora instructs Mo. "Chop that hickory tree down for firewood." She points to the tree at the side.
Very obviously voting to stop to cook
Rosemary? Basil? Are they new heads? Tomorbataar looks around, but sees only the other three.
Is putting the leaves on the meat sanitary?
"Humans do it all the time. Believe me, everything will work out just right." Ziphora reassures Tomorbataar.
"Hmmph. I guess cooking could be okay, but we should be quick about it! There are wizards to trample out there! Still, hardly an activity to do on an empty stomach."
Grash also seems to approve of Mo's aim with thrown rocks.
We'll get there before the week's over, no doubt about that, and back before the explosion. Better to think about the food.
Speaking of the food, why not try putting the leaves in some water, so that it gets the taste, then pouring the water on the meat? That way you don't have to eat any leaves.
"No, no, no, no." Ziphora shakes her head vigorously. " If you put Rosemary and Basil in water it would be too diluted to flavour the meat. "
"Now, if you wanted to throw vegetables into water, we'd need root vegetables, like a Butternut squash. Roast it, then throw it into water to boil."
"Which reminds me - could we try to go vegetarian so we could avoid killing living things? I'm sure we could find vegetables and fruits to satisfy us."
Grash looked at Ziphora in shock. "VEGETARIAN!? No! The proper hydra way is to hunt things, fight them, and then eat them! Also, I'm pretty sure we'd get sick. But mainly it is the PRINCIPLE of the thing!"
Don't we spend most of our time hunting down things to kill? Like the wizard? I guess that's different though, because killing intelligent things is better. Tomorbataar says, reasoning things out. Well, I guess we should look for some root vegetables someday.
Ready to go?
Tomorbataar votes to resume marching.
"That's different - the wizard was going to hurt our friends. He deserved killing. Do the animals deserve to die because we're feeling hungry?" Ziphora asks the rest.
Eventually, you do settle on how to eat your deer, and continue on your way.
The rest of the day passes without incident, save for a bit more hunting to keep topped off.
The amount they deserve to die depends exclusively on how hungry we are feeling, obviously. Anyway, the deer were good, best to keep our eyes about us.
"Do the animals deserve to die because we're feeling hungry?" Ziphora asks the rest.
"Look, we're probably doing them a favor. Can you imagine how hellish their life must be with only one head? It's not like they're doing anything better with their tasty bodies.
"Anyway, do you think this wizard owns a pointy hat with little stars and moons on it?"
"I know the deer were good. Now I'm torn between how good they are and whether it's right to eat more of them." Ziphora mopes.
"Would you like someone to eat you, Beachhead?"
"If they were stronger, smarter, and more skilled than me, I would consider it tough but fair. But I'd probably still try to kill them."