Mogmurch tosses a vial of acid at Pa, the kill should be his!
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Mogmurch tosses a vial of acid, hitting the ogre as he tries to run.
Mic chuckles, "Heh-heh. FIRE! Heh-heh!" to himself.
Goog sets off another blast of sound near Pa Munchmeat.
Reta fires an arrow, but it goes into the mud uselessly.
Chuffy tosses a fireball at Guffy, who dives away from it, but is still knocked unconscious by the damage.
Poog fires a fireball from his wand at Pa, who shrugs it off, his spell protecting him enough from the weaker fire of this one.
Seeing his daughter fall, Pa roars with anger, and transforms, his body shrinking and turning into a massive bat. In this form, he swoops down, grabs Guffy with his legs, and pumps his wings, trying to get airborne with the added weight.
"Make more noise! Make more noise!"
Chuffy tosses his last sphere at the transformed ogre - not realistically expecting to take him out, he hopes to at least turn his daughter into a crispy critter!
Goog does another sound burst, hoping to save stoopid Guffy.
Poog growls as the ogre avoids his fire spell, and tries his wand again.
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Two more explosions of fire from Goog and Poog send Pa and Guffy Munchmeat into sizzling, smouldering, craters in the mud. Pa seems to have changed back into his normal form when he died.
The noise of the fight has roused the farm, and you hear the horrific sound of a dog barking from north of the house, and squealing and grunting coming from the overturned boat to the west of it.
"More bacon!"
Chuffy slinks forward to investigate the boat.
Hearing the magic word, Mic follows Chuffy towards the boat.
Poog jumps up and down in glee as the ogre falls.
"Ogre slayers!!!" he shouts over and over as he dances on the corpse. He also checks both of the ogres thoroughly for anything of value, unconcerned about other enemies for now.
"Here Reta. Goog helps."
Mic pays attention to Reta and Goog, "Hey, can i get a heal please?"
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The ogre is carrying a wand, three gourds that you recognize as the same as the gourds of fire burping you found on the boar you killed earlier, and the hide armor, which despite being singed and bloodied, has distinctive purple and orange coloration characteristic of Firepelt cougars.
Guffy dropped a fine morningstar when she collapsed earlier, and is wearing a chain shirt, both medium-sized.
An upturned boat, an old river barge by the look of it, sits in the mud here. The boat’s stern has been built into the fence, and a large hole has been smashed in the southern side to provide entrance to the dark hollow created by the hull. A gate woven of river reeds and sticks covers most of this hole, but a gap along the side would let you squeeze in.
The squealing is coming from further inside the boat. Next to the entrance, leaning against the gate, is a large, hairy mass that you are able, after a few moments of peering through the tiny gaps in the tight weave, to identify as another boar, much like the one you killed earlier, except female, heavier, and wearing no armor. She is asleep, and snoring loudly. However, you can't get a good enough look through the woven gate to find a vital point to sneak attack.
Mic taps on Chuffy's shoulder. "That pig is Squealy Nord i think." Mic moves into the pin.
"We find Squealy!" Poog exclaims, now laden with as much gear from the ogre as he could carry. He pushes what he can't carry into the hands of his compansions.
Once he hears the bark of dogs, Poog says "Only good dog dead dog! Find dogs!" he sneers and moves toward the sound.
Is the bad boar tied up?
Mic moves towards the bad boar and brings his sword down upon it's head, attempting to kill it in it's sleep.
[dice=wis]1d20+1
[dice=Escape Artist]1d20+10
Mic taps on Chuffy's shoulder. "That pig is Squealy Nord i think." Mic moves into the pin.
Goog will follow his brother around the house and look for the growling dog.
Poog sends a fireball at the dog, and tries to get house in area of effect to set more stuff on fire.
He then runs away from the dog to wait for reinforcements.
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The big dog manages to duck and avoid much of the fireball's blast as it hits.
The boar lifts itself up from the ground, steps forward and swings her tusks at Mic, but he dodges easily. Behind him, Squealy continues to show why he has that name, pulling at the chain around his neck that keeps him in his pen.
Initiative order:
Mic: entered the pen
Poog: used a fireball wand
Boar: tried to attack Mic
Mogmurch
Goog: moved
Chuffy
Dog
Reta
Mogmurch spends his time running towards Reta so he can help her burn the dog-beast!
Chuffy moves to a flanking position, and takes a swing.
"More bacon!"
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A well-aimed arrow flies past the house, and embeds itself in the dog's flank, and then with a quiver of magic, drives itself deeper, seeking the animal's beating heart. With a pathetic whimper, the massive canine collapses.
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"Good dog-kill, Reta! Kill more dogs! Finds treasure?"
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It doesn't take more than another couple sticks with their knives before Mic and Chuffy finish off Princess Cracklin. The goblins free Squealy Nord, and he runs around, grunting excitedly.
Around the pig pen, the goblins search carefully, and Reta notices a few items under the straw in the corner. A rusty iron flask containing a liquid that Mogmurch determines to be a potion of blur, a small crossbow that faintly glows in the dim enclosure, and a scroll case made of bronze, with a single scroll in it. After some debate, Poog and Goog agree that reading words that some other poor fool has written down is not harmful, and this is at length determined to be a scroll of flaming sphere.
Searching the rest of the farm extensively (assuming goblins take 20 on perception checks) turns up a dozen or so more gourds with fire burping elixir in them here and there. In Pa Munchmeat's bedroom, you also find a golden needle and an amulet of natural Armor. In Guffy's room, you find a headless goblin body being taxidermied, that still wears a suit of dark leather armor, which later is determined to be +1 shadow studded leather armor.
Perhaps most exciting, in the lair of the owlbear under the house, the goblins discover a cache of eggs, recently laid. Some of the goblins want to eat them, but others recognize just how much mayhem a goblin tribe could get up to with a half-dozen owlbear hatchlings.
After looting the farm, butchering the two boars, and leaving the ogres out for the pair of vultures who seem to have a nest in the cupola of the farmhouse, the goblins leave, laden with loot, meat, and the heady rush of victory.
Only time will tell how their rule of the Birdcruncher tribe will fare, but for now, they are the heroes of the day.
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After their triumphant return from the Munchmeat farm, the Birdcruncher tribe made the goblin heroes their official chieftains, and regarded them with the proper amount of adoration and fear.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh remained your advisor, but one evening she disappeared, after she went out to deal with a harpy name Isidra who was scaring the rest of the tribe. Turns out she wasn't quite so wise after all. Some Birdcruncher goblins still claim they can hear a harpy's song punctuated with Mummy Sprattleharsh's screams on some nights. The six of you agree that it's probably just wind whistling through the trees.
At first, being chieftains was exciting, but after about a month of being fawned over and brought whatever you needed whenever you needed it, it started getting boring. You had to stay home all the time and watch over the tribe. You had to be big and mean so that other tribes wouldn’t bother them. You had to make sure the goblins had enough to eat. You had to organize raids that you didn't get to go on. You had to settle arguments about exactly whose jar of leeches was stolen and eaten. After 3 months, it started to seem like being a chief was more trouble than it was worth.
So the proclamation was made: "Being a chieftain is boring. Adventures are interesting. Find us adventures or entertain us or we find new goblin tribe to rule!"
A great feast has been prepared in your honor, and goblins are scattering every which way to get things ready. While the others try to keep you satisfied, a trio of goblins went to the nearby Bestest Truffle Field to hunt for truffles with Squealy Nord and his recently-acquired mate, Squealy Nora. You've acquired quite a taste for truffle handcakes in the last few months, and they are a must in any feast prepared for you.
"Bring Poog truffles!" the cleric orders. "Or face wrath of Poog!"
Being a ruler was a little boring, but truffles were, Poog supposed, a good fringe benefit.
"Yes! Truffles, now, minions!"
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Mic looks around as everyone gathers in. "Pretty, where be the pretty goblin?"
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"Chief Reta prettiest goblin ever!" exclaim the young goblins rubbing oil into Reta's feet as she relaxes on her chieftain's throne.
Two goblin brothers, Plunger and Reg Runtweed, wheel out a massive thing covered in a tattered and patched blanket. "We have secret treat, make all chieftains happy! We reveal at feast!"
(Of course, you all know, thanks to another goblin who, hoping to curry favor, blabbed about it, that this is a statue made to honor your past achievements, built of materials scavenged from the old Licktoad village, the Munchmeat farm, and the remains of the boat in the swamp where your defeat of Vorka started your heroic careers.)
First, though, it's time for entertainment!
Munkle Pupsquash, the goblin who runs the tribe's goblin dog kennels, leads forward six of the tribe's finest. The dog-sized rodents lash their rat-like tails and gnash their buck teeth, ready to race.
"This story be 'The Charge of the Most Powerful Goblins!'" she says, proceeding to tell a tail of a group of goblin heroes who made a brave rush at the walls of a human city. They leapt the moat, scaled the walls, and burned the whole place to the ground before riding off with all of the town's pickles. In her storytelling, Munkle compares each of you chieftains to a great goblin hero from the old folktale.
"So to show how you chiefs are masters of the Goblin Dogs just like the heroes, we have obstacle course for you to run! We save special prize for winner!"
The goblin dogs are thoroughly trained at being ridden, but are presented without saddles, with the suggestion that you ride them bareback to show how skilled you are at riding. You look out at the obstacle course they have constructed, and see a big mud pit before the ridge that leads up above the Birdcruncher caves; a bunch of squashes on top of the ridge painted to look like ugly gnomes, perfect for throwing rocks at or slicing in half with a dogslicer; and a track down the other side of the ridge that leads to a patch of bramble bushes. Clearly you will need to ride your chosen steed over these obstacles and try to be the first back to the cave.
Initiative order (this will determine who comes first in case of ties):
Goog
Chuffy
Mic
Poog
Mogmurch
Reta
Mic charges forward on his doggy mount.
We will win this year Douge. he says. As he charges forward towards the Mud Jumper.
Clearing the first obstetrical on his first try, he moves onto the next one. Once at the Ridge Racer, he charges forward. He almost falls off as he goes around the curve.
Coming up onto a painted opponent, he moves Douge into position to attack.
Moving his mount to attack the foe, cutting it into two as he blasts past it and charges down the Ridge.
Almost falling off again, Mic finds a spirit of luck riding along with him. Not missing any checks as he makes it all the way down in the minimum number of turns.
Poog mounts his dog, Hobo, confidently.
However, with his typical pathetic style, Poog falls in the first mud hole seven times, his dog continuing to circle back for him. Finally, the dog just goes around the obstacle and Poog pretends to jump.
Poog does stay on through the Ridge Racer obstacle, primarily because he is so covered in mud that he is stuck to the dog.
Poog doesn't fall off at the Gnome Smasher either...the mud is starting to harden and he is stuck to the dog's fur.
Rounding to the Bramble Bounder, the thick brambles finally tear Poog free of the dog fur, and he falls into the thorns. Over, and over, and over. Finally, cursing, crying, and cut to shreds, Poog falls over at the finish line. He then crawls across, his dog pushing him over.