Goblins 2: The Wreckin'-ing! (Inactive)

Game Master Dave Young 992

Velag nods again, "Sounds like even more funses!"

There's a sign in front of the tavern, but you can't read it, of course. The smell of strong drink and sound of loud chatter gives you a clue as to the purpose of the joint. Wanna grab some brews?

Bucko walks under the saloon doors, and heads for the bar.....

"THIS PLACE STINKS! SMELL'S LIKE LONGSHANKS!" An angry look crosses her face and then she relaxes. "Reta go in too." She shrugs.

"Whereses goblins? Stupid _______"

_______ is race of the bartender

"Bringses brewses!"

A rather surly man steps up.

Ale is a silver per mug. You do have money, don't you? Otherwise, I'll have to ask you to leave.

Given the dirty stares you're getting, it appears they don't get a lot of goblins in here.

Reta hears Bucko demanding something, so she feels it's in the best interests of the party to help. Looking at him, then to the bartender and then back at Bucko, she turns her attention back to the bartender once again, "WE DEMAND PRETTY THINGS! RETA LIKE PRETTY THINGS! NOT STOOPID THINGS!" She nods emphatically, feeling like she has definitely helped their cause.

And just to be clear, Reta only speaks goblin. Just in case Joboo doesn't know that yet.

Bucko takes out 20 gold coins....

"This payses fer all we ken eats an drinkses. youses not knows powerses o goblins, stupid tall thing?"

Bucko points out the mirror behind the bar to Reta
"There Reta seeses self an can dance."

Tonight on NBC: Dancing with the Goblins

The sight of all that gold changes the bartender's attitude more than any charm you could cast. People stare, a mix of disgust and curiosity on their faces.

The bartender gets you mugs and a big pitcher of brew, and big plates of potatoes and smoked meats.

You can eat at the bar, or I can get you a table in the back, if you prefer, master goblin.

Velag looks at bartender, then across the crowd, pointing at a chubby drunk, "That one look tastiest. We wants that one."

"Velagses this oneses already cooked an ready wit lotses o onions an breads an butters. Come an getses it!"

Bucko takes out a knife and then using it and his fingers begins o eat...

"Tastes like man-cow an Boggards!"

takes another bite...."Wit onionses!

A gnome gets up from one of the tables and walks out, yelling at the bartender.

Well! If this is the sort of riff raff you allow in this establishment, I'll take my leave! Harumph!

Bucko casts ear peircing scream upon the snooty gnome...

Only the gnome can hear it ;)

Velag says, "But lookit that one. Him be juicy when cooked.", then sighs and takes a piece of meat.

He looks at the gnome who's leaving and says, "Me sorry if you insulted. That one just look tastier than you!"

The gnome stops, grabbing hie ears in pain. Aaaaahhh! Magic!

Once he recovers, he staggers rapidly out the door. You see a number of humanoids watching you nervously now.

Reta looks behind the bar and notices herself. Smiling, "Reta is cute." She giggles. Turning as she hears hollering, Reta looks upon the gnome, "THAT GNOME LOOK FAMILIAR TO RETA." She squints trying to recollect where it was she might have seen him. Shrugging, "THEY ALL LOOK SAME TO RETA."

"Gnomes greasy likses ducks, man-cows more meaty, wit better marrow."

Velag says, in goblin, "Like eating gnomeses. See colours for hours afterward."

He looks at the others who are now watching his table and says in Common, "We not firebooms! Go watch something fun!", and pulls on the power of the Grey Master to obscure the table of goblins from sight.

Using his Master's Illusion (veil) domain power... making the group look like boring, drab-coloured dwarves.

More people leave. Some don't, though. The bartender looks at the dwarves uneasily, but seems afraid to say anything.

Reta cringes at the thought of eating gnomes. "RETA NEVER EAT GNOMES. GNOMES IS UGLY AND GROSS. YCH!"

"Velags why makeses us uglies, we upset man wit ugly dwarves lookses!"

Velag says, "It useful eat gnomes. Learned how to talk to animals."

He looks at Bucko and says, "Them already upsets. But you right." and releases the veil.

"We not lookses fer troubles, then weses waiteses here an troubleses findeses us."

Throws an empty plate across the bar...

"Send us more food or bounceres we eatses either one."

Sets his cauldron of brewing on the table and starts it to heating up.

More people leave. A crowd of well-armed humans begins to assemble outside.

"Humoods!"

"Bucko loveses hoomids!"

Goes to the door...

"Comes in leader hoomids has dinner wit Buckos."

Velag stands behind the table and quietly casts Shield of Faith on himself. "Looks like entertainment coming."

Reta watches Bucko take his leave and head to the door. As she notices him speaking to some humans, "WHAT BUCKO DO, VELAG? IS BUCKO TALKING TO LONGSHANKS? STOOPID BUCKO. RETA NOT LIKE LONGSHANKS. TOO MANY LONGSHANKS FOR RETA TO KILL IS ONLY REASON RETA NOT KILL ALL LONGSHANKS. THAT JUST TOO MUCH WORK FOR RETA."

Velag says, "Him invite hoomin to eats with us.... not sure, him not look as tasty as fat one did."

Velag stops and cocks his head, then smiles, "Velag help Reta."

"Humids tastes likeses pigses, likeses man-cow better, maybe hoomid giveses us goodses stuffs an tings."

Klepymunculous smiles.....

Velag stops and cocks his head, then smiles, "Velag help Reta."

Reta ponders that a moment, then shakes her head as if saying; "Yeah, that would work." "THAT'D HELP RETA. THAT WAY, RETA NOT HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK. RETA BE LESS TIRED AND CAN PLAY CHASE GAMES WITH SPOTOL MORE." She grins, her ever so sharp teeth in display.

Finally, the bartender says you can serve yourselves at the bar, and slip out the front. There's quite a crowd of humanoids standing about outside.

Just as they're about to come in, there's a bit of a commotion as a human female, accompanied by a big troll, steps inside. The armed humans stand back.

Goblins. Just what I was hoping. Excuse me, goblins, but I was hoping for a word with you. Would you like to earn some gold?

"Earn soundses like works, maybe you has fun fer gobbies an pay besides. Whats you wantses, we eatses?"

Eyes the troll...

"Bucko needs troll blood, you gives Bucko big cauldron fullses an payses us."

Empties his cauldron to make room for troll blood...
"Right upses here big troll."

Troll styptic brewing time! ;)

The woman talks to the troll.

Go ahead, Gonk. They won't take much. The troll walks right up to Bucko, bites itself on the arm, and starts dripping blood into the pot.

She turns again to Bucko. My name is Myra. I represent a certain group of folks who recently lost an item, and they want it back. There is a substantial reward for its return- 20,000 gold and whatever treasure you manage to gather along the way.

It's dangerous, though, I won't lie about that. If you enjoy danger, then yes, you may think of it as "fun." I think some quiet, sneaky goblins could do the job better than almost anyone else I can think of.

Bucko nods agreement
"Hateses when takes tings from gobbies, human stole gobbies lands builded towns an such, stoopid humans, what tings you want founded?"

Joboo had just finished a new painting on a wall when he heard a commotion and lots of voices coming from an anjoining street. He looked back at his words...masters be proud...words powerful...

это мягкое эльфов

He handed Nudos his paint pail and Wheezy his brush and waved the two cronies to follow as he went to see what was happening.

Velag looks at the woman, "What kind fun? Who take it? Me still kinda sick of frogbog meat."

The woman eyes Velag.

I suppose that if you like being sneaky and killing things, you'll have fun.

This isn't really the place to discuss it, though. I'm sure your friend would like to finish his recipe. Let me find you a better place for that.

Myra orders some other humans to set you up in an upstairs room with a fireplace Bucko can use. If you choose to go there, she'll give you the deets.

I can't take you anywhere nice!

"Magic pot heats self, not mind upstairs woman wants gets all nakedes?"

She looks disgusted. I just think we'd best discuss this in private.

Reta looks at the human woman and her troll friend, wondering why they are speaking to her group. "VELAG! BUCKO! WHAT LONGSHANK WOMAN WANT? WHY SHE AND HER TROLL DOG TALK TO US? NO ONE INVITED LONGSHANK AND TROLL DOG HERE." Then a confused look forms as she furrows her brow, "DID WE?"

Joboo doesnt like the look of such a large group of armed humans outside of a building...issa dey waitin fur dubble trubble or somethin'?.. He pointed back into the alley and spoke to his minions. Yous twos stay right here, dont move! and then makes his way to the back of the crowd. He tugged on one fellows shirt and asked. Whu-u-uz happenin'?

Bucko stares at the woman's cleavage not certain if he should be aroused or hungry...

"Where Joboo goeses?"

@Reta
"She wantst hires us tah steal someting backses, stupid humans not steal backs gobbie wayses."

Velag says, "She want gives us shinies to gets something. Shinies good, thems helps get better kill-toys."

Joboo gets no answer from the human. He just looks into the bar entrance.

Joboo sees 3 goblins at the bar area. A female is chasing a toad along the top of the bar, knocking over all kinds of bottles and mugs. 2 males are talking to a rather frustrated-looking woman. The whole area looks like a hurricane hit it.

This is quite unusual. Local goblins know better than to try and patronize longshanks businesses, but these 3 are getting away with it. The humans seem hesitant to toss them out.

They're either that tough, or that dumb.

Sleight of Hand: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (13) + 16 = 29

Joboo didnt mind being ignored by the..stinky hemans... and idly took a swipe at the man's pouch as he made his way through the crowd...mesa gotta meet these bald gobbos...wait bolds not blads, dessa haves hairs all over... He let out a particularly wet sounding fart while next to a fat man and scampered the rest of the way to the inn while shaking his left leg...just in cases theres drips...ooh squishy...

Ooh! Oi!Yousa gobbos got big, clanky clank balls starting dubble trubble heres. Hemans get mads. Whu-u-uz happening?

he emphasized his question with a pump of his short little arm in time with a second and thankfully much dryer sounding fart and a toothy grin.

Velag narrows his eyes and says, "Important secret stuffses. Why you want know?"

Secret stuffses? Hah! Not should talk about secrets.

Jobbo somehow grinned even wider although mostly due to the fact that he couldnt feel anything slimy sliding down his leg anymore.

But that me specialize. Stuffses made of secrets. Not suffses made of acid. Mesa no good at acids...or ices or woods or stones or cottons or..other stuffses but secrets me do real goody goody gumdrop likes.

"RETA LIKE SECRET TAKE THINGS. RETA NEED BETTER SLICERS ANYWAY. TELL LONGSHANK WOMAN AND HER TROLL DOG WE GET BACK WHATEVER. BUT SHE BETTER NOT FORGET SHINIES!" She looks at the woman with a scowl. Then immediately turning to the newcomer goblin, "AND YOU STINK, GOBBIE." Her face crinkles at the smell. "WHAT YOUS NAME, GOBBO? NEVERMIND, RETA JUST CALL YOU STINKY." Reta grabs Spotol and places him back in her pack. "OKAY, RETA READY. WHERE WE GO AND WHAT WE GET?"

JOboo sniffed at his hairy armpits and shrugged his little shoulders.

Mesa no mas stinky then yousa girly girl! Mesa Joboo!

He said while thumping his chest with his thumb and then a snear.

"Bucko Smellses Budussy."

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