Goblins 2: The Wreckin'-ing! (Inactive)

Game Master Dave Young 992

Convenient link to OOC thread, for OOC-type stuff!

It's been 2 weeks since your routing of Vorka the cannibal. Early-early spring is giving way to early spring, and with it, the usual threats begin to emerge from the forest, hungry for Licktoads.

Your celebrity seems to have waned. As life in the village goes on, goblins, with their short memories, seem to have forgotten your life-risking heroism, your derring-do, your "charasma."

Now, the mundane is again the norm. Goblins hunt and gather, get distracted by the weirdest things, and practice their psychotic ways on all and sundry. The weaponworks which keeps your tribe in good stead is busy cranking out reliable dogslicers and other items for whoever can trade for them, and business is brisk. Thanks to you, all is well in Licktoad Village.

Yet, though you've been of inestimable service, you've forgotten, too. Each day brings little challenge, and past glories fade quickly in the warped minds of wicked goblins.

Tark, strolling through the woods with his fine earthbreaker, was gathering mushrooms, when the urge to bash overcame him. He swiftly destroyed the 'shrooms, along with the basket he carried them in, shattered some rocks, then pounded an anthill until he was covered in them. Finally, the painful biting of the flying ants brought him out of it. What was this feeling he was feeling (besides the pain of ant bites)?

Klepy? What you call it when there's nothing fun to do? And where my hammer?

Klepy was hunched over, staring at the hammer he'd pulled out of Tark's belt, entranced by the shiny. His basket had almost no mushrooms in it, he'd been so distracted.

Klepy forgotteds. Thassa good question, Tark. Mebee we aks Bucko or Velag. They smarts!

And so Tark took his hammer back, and the 2 clinical psychopaths went to find their friends, to ask them what the feeling was called when you had nothing fun to do.

They encountered Velag on their way back to the village. He was busy casting acid splash on every bug that flew by, and though his aim was improved, it just wasn't much of a challenge any more. They just didn't dissolve with the same panache as they once did.

Velag knew exactly what they were talking about, but couldn't remember the word, either.

Less ask Bucko! He know lotsa words, and he don't write 'em down! Velag chirped, and joined his friends to look for the witch.

They found Bucko in the middle of the village, drinking the last of the whiskey they'd found in Vorka's ship, and a little tipsy. He'd putrefied so much food in the last few weeks, the other goblins kept away from him, lest their food be spoiled, too.

Ah can'n'remember. Dis hooch gone straight to mah haid! the little spoiler hiccupped.

They conferred awhile, when Slorb suddenly walked by.

Hey, Slorb! What you call it when you feel like there nothing fun to do? they inquired, sort of in unison, but not.

Slorb know, came his answer. It called "patrol." You goblins come with me. We talk to His Mighty Girthness. He fix you good.

"Patrol?" Tark asked, mulling it over. That don't sound right...

With shrugs of their collective shoulders, the 4 goblins followed Slorb to the Chief's big hut. Surely, they would remember the word there.

"Hmmmm pat and roll, likeses with new goblin dog, trained good, we must be taking rideses on goblins dogs an worgs. Finds room tah run, pat, and roll!"

"Bucko smartest goblin!"

"Bucko smartest goblin!"

Abandon plan!

Klepy follows the party. He taps Tark on the shoulder. "Is patol shiny?

That still makes me laugh....out loud.....

I have added that to my profile as "special ability" of Bucko.

** spoiler omitted **

Klepy follows the party. He taps Tark on the shoulder. "Is patol shiny?

Klepy:

Klepy wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

Klepy follows the party. He taps Tark on the shoulder. "Is patol shiny?

Klepy:** spoiler omitted **

"Mebee chief have 'nudder big mission fer us's? Me need new stuff to flat'n."

Once all the honorifics, rigamarole and obligatories are out of the way, Chief Gutwad gets down to business.

You good goblins. Got experience. You go on patrol, keep Licktoads safe. Train tha n00bs. Try not to get dem killed.

You are instructed that you will split up. Two of you will take the "dayshift," riding a loop that goes around the village in the surrounding woods, looking for anything that might be a threat if it were to wander closer, or if it's more intelligent, might decide to raid the village, enslave you, and all that rot. This time of year, newborn and immature versions of various creatures are very common, and it's common goblin wisdom that you "kill it before it gets bigger," which is good advice, particularly when you're 3 feet tall.

You will take with you two young, less-experienced goblin warriors, also riding goblin dogs, or "ratdogs," as your tribe calls them.

The "nightshift" is a little different. Again, it's two of you training two idiot goblins, but mounts are rarely used in night patrol. You stay much closer to the village, ready to use your stealth and darkvision to take out threats before they even see you. The n00bs with you have longbows instead of shortbows, but are otherwise bestiary issue goblins, with these weapons:

Goblin warrior 1
NE Small humanoid (goblinoid)
Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception –1
DEFENSE
AC 16, touch 13, flat-footed 14 (+2 armor, +2 Dex, +1 shield, +1 size)
hp 6 (1d10+1)
Fort +3, Ref +2, Will –1
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft.
Melee dogslicer +2 (1d4/19–20) or
Horsechopper +2 (1d8/x3, reach, trip)
Ranged short bow +4 (1d4/×3)
STATISTICS
Str 11, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 9, Cha 6
Base Atk +1; CMB +0; CMD 12
Feats Improved Initiative
Skills Ride +10, Stealth +10, Swim +4; Racial Modifiers +4 Ride, +4 Stealth
Languages Goblin

If you don't wanna do patrol, we put you cleaning baby cages. Safer work. I just don't wanna see big heroes sit around bored, Gutwad says.

Bored! Tark shouts. Bored! Bored! Bored! HAHAHAHA! BOOOOOORRRREEED!

Gutwad looks at him like he's an idiot. You can go now, he says, rolling his eyes at Slorb.

Your particular dayshift goes from noon to 6 PM, and your nightshift from midnight to 6 AM. You wait in the village until the previous patrol comes back from their rounds, then you go out, returning to the village in 6 hours.

Buddy system, gobbies! Pair up for patrol!

"Hey Tark. Why yous onwy bash flat? Why not bash sqware? Or how bouts tri.....an....gul. or wedge? Or how bout yous bash'em twap....a.....zzzzoidal?"

Tark thinks about who to partner up.

Tark considers Klepy's question for a moment. What him mean not bash flat? There no other way to bash. Him try'n to confuse me!

Then Tark looks towards Bucko. Him good at kill'n stuff, but him always try'n to take Tark's kills.

"Oki Velag, lets go on patrol. Waits until yous meet Fangz. Him da bestest howler in da village!"

"I right we teach non A-dolt goblins tah pat an roll."

DM

"Awe crap klepy is de-fault, maybe less shinies at night, no waits tha moon is shiny, crap."

Bucko:

Okay, here's your chance at a free cool point. Come up with a good name for your little group. Best one wins. We select a few from the suggestions, you 4 vote, and if there's a tie, I break it.

A kewl point! It could be yours!

We shuds be cawed, The Five Shiny Tings.....uh.....Squad......cawse we shiny an ders five o us right? FST Squad! We ready!" Klepy stands poud.

Well, assuming that Tark's suggestions will likely not be acceptable:
* The Mighty Tark and Chums
* Ultimate Non Stupid Tark and Best Licktoads Ever (which can be abbreviated as "UNSTABLE")

Answering to a voice in the back of his head, Tark utters forth "So Tough Licktoads of Doom". Tark blinks and looks around for a bit, wondering why that came out of his mouth, and more importantly why it did not make any mention to Tark.

Klepy begins chanting. "Efestee, Efestee, Efestee, we are Efestee! WEEHEHEEE!"

Efesti- The goblin word for "moonless night," when they have the advantage over their lesser-sighted foes. I can make this bs up all day... lol We waits for efesti, then we gets our revenges!

I like it! It even sounds like Klepy! That is so coincidental its funny!

It ocurred to me, that since there are no written words in the goblin language, that such abbreviated names would imply that the goblin understands letter structure which one could only understand by writing the language out. Therefore, Klepy must be a word writer :)

The goblin vanguard.....

......I guess first we would need a van

Can't catch us we riding fast goblins......

theme song (MC hammer can't touch this)
.....duh duh duh,
can't catch this....
.....duh duh
..can't catch this

Ridin dirty might be a better theme song.....

Bucko Patrol

swamp patrol

Are we lost yet
Are we there yet
Hey is it dead

Let's post our ideas in the convenient OOC thread, conveniently linked at the top of the page, for your convenience. My bad for not thinking of that in the first place.

Midnight arrives, and Bucko and Klepy report for duty, where they're met by a pair of young goblin warriors eager to learn from the two heroes. Bucko should have his spells picked out.

The first nightshift comes in, and other than the usual smashing of some egg cases laid by various giant insects, nothing big happened. They seem relieved, and go to sleep in their huts.

As you patrol, Klepy demonstrates how to move silently and hide, even in difficult things like bushes and mud. The n00bs aren't nearly so stealthy, but they hope to someday put a skill point in it.

BTW, I forgot to mention that there's an XP award for not getting the n00bs killed on these outings!

You quietly circle the camp, never farther than 2 or 300 feet from the perimeter, alert for signs of trouble.

High above the canopy, you hear the beating of giant wings. You can't see what's making the noise, but it sounds as if, whatever it is, it's heading right for the village.

Spells prepared, listed under typical spells prepared spoiler

"Steady young goblins, dark wings headed to tha village, prepares tah defend mushy-mushy."

Bucko mounts up and tries to get back towards the tribe......

The n00bs, looking a little scared, follow Bucko towards the village. As you get closer, the sound of the flapping wings does not abate, but grows louder.

Points at one goblin

"Yous prepare ranged attack."

Points at the other...
"Youses defend and be ready tah fight."

Klepy bounces with excitement. "And Klepy getsta hides!" Klepy turns to the other goblin recruits. "Klepy gonna teech youses howsta be sneaky. You watch! Learn!" Klepy attempts to show them how to disappear.

Stealth:1d20 + 21 ⇒ (19) + 21 = 40

I'll let Klepy save that roll for later.

As you ride into the clearing of the village, you see, near the center, a large bat-like creature circling the baby cages.

The cages are situated in an area surrounded by a 40' circular hedge of thorny bushes and weeds, about 10' thick. Goblins can pass easily through a few spots in the hedge, and it works as a natural barrier to most predators, but is open to the sky.

The baby cages are small and fragile, made to keep mischievous goblin kids in, rather than keep anything out. The bat, with its 15' wingspan, has no trouble dipping down and breaking open one of the cages. The hapless, screaming baby inside is silenced in a crunch and swallow. The bat circles and hovers, looking for yet another screaming, easy mouthful. It pays no attention to you.

You and the noobs may stop as close or far from the hedge as you like and dismount, if you want. You can get through the hedges fast, but the dogs are too big to do it at a full move.

Init: Klepy, Bucko, big honkin' bat, noobs.

Fast dismount as a free action is a DC 20 ride check. Fail, and it takes a move.

"Archers readies fer when tha bat flees..."

"Non-archer gets in there."

On my turn!
Bucko casts cause fear upon the bat hoping his scare tactic makes the invader leave and gives archery an oppotunity away from the goblin cages.

Klepy will dismount I guess.

1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26

He will then proceed to do the post above, explaining his sneak and then disappear using the results from above. He will then move stealthily towards the bat, throwing daggers at the ready.

Correct me if I am wrong but it is a Standard action to go stealthy right?

Correct me if I am wrong but it is a Standard action to go stealthy right?

It's part of your move, so not an action in itself. If you throw a dagger, stealth to hide again is a move action (at -20). If you throw 2 daggers, both attacks are at -2.

Klepy dismounts and goes into the hedge, hiding from the baby-hungry bat. If he throws a dagger (or daggers), it's a sneak attack.

Once he attacks, Bucko's spell is next, at which point I will reveal the result!

Klepy will throw two daggers. "EAT STICKIES!!" The daggers fly.

Attack 11d20 + 8 - 2 ⇒ (13) + 8 - 2 = 19 For:1d3 + 1d8 ⇒ (3) + (1) = 4
Attack 21d20 + 8 - 2 ⇒ (15) + 8 - 2 = 21 For:1d3 + 1d8 ⇒ (3) + (8) = 11

Stealth to rehide:1d20 + 21 - 20 ⇒ (6) + 21 - 20 = 7

Actually, I think you need quickdraw to throw multiple weapons. Oh, well, it's not a biggie. You did it this time, anyway.

Klepy's daggers pierce the abdomen of the creature, drawing its attention to him.

Bucko's spell seem to have had no effect, since, rather than fly away in fear, the creature instead lets out a horrid screech, so loud that you must all make a fortitude save or be stunned!

The first of your two associates makes his save and fires his bow, but misses. The second drops his horsechopper and looks stupidly at the ground, shaking his aching ears. The babies, which were screaming a moment ago, fall silent.

The mobat flits towards Klepy, its wolf-like fangs bared for attack!

Saving throws, gobbies!

edit: Your daggers were drawn, so no, you don't need it. You'd need it to throw more than two as part of a full attack action, since you can only have one in hand at a time.

Fort Save:1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9

Ah poop on a stick!

Fortitude save
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (17) + 1 = 18

I said "stunned," but I should have said "staggered." Klepy is staggered for the next round (He can take a move or a standard action, but not both. Not as bad as stunned!). This also means that the other gobbie didn't drop his horsechopper.

That, and forgetting that you can move through a friendly square are my worst mistakes so far. Sorry! Also, for ease of play, let's just say that if you and your mount both have to make a save, you just roll once for you, and if you make it, your mount does, too. Not RAW, but simpler for everyone. So right now, Klepy's ratdog is stunned, too, but if Bucko makes his save, both he and his his mount can act normally. As you level, this will be more to your advantage. Are we cool w/ that?

Bucko has to roll a fort save, then we start round 2. The party will reunite very soon!

edit: Ninja'd by Bucko in mid-type! He made it. Ok, Klepy's turn. Move or standard. He can go back in the bush to avoid the bat, or count on his awesome AC and attack it.

Are we gonna assume Klepy has a weapon in hand or do I need to make a move action to draw it? Last turn I had two daggers out but he threw them both.

Are we gonna assume Klepy has a weapon in hand or do I need to make a move action to draw it? Last turn I had two daggers out but he threw them both.

Ah, that is a problem. You moved and attacked last round, so you couldn't draw fresh knives, too. You can draw your weapons as part of a move, but can't also take your standard move and attack. You can draw your weapons and move back a bit, and risk the AoO, or draw and stand your ground, and attack next round. I'd probably go with the second option, since it can attack you either way, but you can easily attack right back next round.

Klepy will draw a dagger and stand his ground hoping his new shiny armor and his speediness to save him.

OK. Bucko is next, and can see the bat just fine, though it's just over the hedge.

Evil eye hex upon the bat
will save or else -2 to AC

The bat takes a vicious snap at Klepy, but misses, and flies upward, where it is hit by arrows from the unnamed redshirt goblins for 6 more damage.

Klepy gets an AoO at +2. It seems the hex worked beautifully! He may then act normally as he starts round 3.

So, a single attack, then a normal round for the little rogue.

Is this single attack against a flatfooted or flanked creature?
Klepy attacks with a single stab as the creature passes by. 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 21
For:1d3 ⇒ 2 if precision damage is possible, add:1d8 ⇒ 6

does Klepy start this round in base contact with the thing?

does Klepy start this round in base contact with the thing?

No, no sneak, but you can move to either side of the hedge and still throw two daggers at its new armor class. It's taken a lot of damage.

Klepy will draw his second dagger and hurl both at the monster.
Attack 1:1d20 + 8 - 2 ⇒ (2) + 8 - 2 = 8 For:1d3 ⇒ 1
Attack 2:1d20 + 8 - 2 ⇒ (19) + 8 - 2 = 25 For:1d3 ⇒ 3

ADD: Confirm Crit:1d20 + 8 - 2 ⇒ (20) + 8 - 2 = 26 For an additional:1d3 ⇒ 3

Excellent

One dagger flies wide, but the other hits with brutal force. The bats squeals its displeasure, still circling in search of an object on which to vent its anger.

Bucko! Kill this thing!

Bucko raises his crossbow and nods toward the recruit who was told to ready for an arrow attack.....

Crossbow, light
Attack 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (16) + 6 = 22
Damage 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

"Fire now!" he yells at the recruit

Attack
1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18
Damage 1d4 ⇒ 4

The beast falls from the sky with a loud thump. Bucko's hex made their jobs much easier, and Klepy did a whole lot of the damage.

Now that the fight's over, many other goblins show up, marveling at the size of the thing. Slorb even makes an appearance and commends you on only losing one baby to the monster.

The rest of your shift is uneventful, and you return at dawn safely.

After the previous night's excitement, Velag and Tark spend the morning hearing about the mobat, and seeing goblins excitedly skinning and butchering it.

Not to be outdone, they prepare for their shift, putting the barding and gear onto their fearsome mounts, and instructing the noobs on how to not get killed.

There's just one problem... The prior shift is late. Very late. Slorb is notified and after a couple of hours with no sign of them, he has Klepy and Bucko rousted from their huts.

You two go with Tark and Velag. Leave these noobs behind. Patrol not back, it could be trouble. Gutwad wants his best patrol goblins to find them and fix trouble.

So, rested but not expecting it, the 4 of you are called to solve the mystery of the missing patrol. Mounted and ready, the riders of the moonless night take the day shift.

So all of us on patrol together?

So all of us on patrol together?

Yep! 4 mystery solvers and 4 Scooby Doos. There may be trouble a-brewin'!