Phloid's Unofficial "Edit My Item" Thread


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

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Since I didn't make the top 32 this year, I have decided to do something different in the post 32 forum critique frenzy. If you post the complete text of your item here (with any notes you want to leave) I will edit your item and repost. I will also leave brief notes on the major changes I made (if any) and notes on issues it still might have that would keep it from superstar status. This may change what you intended your item to do depending if the mechanics need work or are somewhat ambiguous, so notes might be helpful to the editing process. I'll also reference any critiques of your item on the forums before I edit your item. I don't really have an professional experience as an editor or much in the way of published Pathfinder game material, but I am an eight year veteran of RPGSS with one top 32 finish. Although my entries may lack the mojo to break into the top 32 most years, I've got a strong grasp of the rules and my writing has gotten cleaner over the years. Think of it as a different way to get a critique, but don't post if you have compunctions about putting your item in the hands of another designer. I'm not sure how popular this thread will be, but I will edit items on a first-come, first-served basis and eventually get to all of them posted here. I will likely only do one edit per item, because I don't want this to end up being a design by committee thread, but I'm sure I will miss things and might make an occasional correction.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

For starters I'll edit my 2013 top 32 entry, which admittedly was hard to read.

Nickolas Floyd's Thorn Creeper Sandals

Spoiler:
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 10th
Slot feet; Price 19,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
Though comfortable to wear, these open-toed sandals appear to be made of thorny vines, the soles of which are covered in small, twitching roots. If the wearer is the subject of a bull rush, drag, reposition, or trip attempt, the roots momentarily burrow into the ground, and grant the user a +2 circumstance bonus to CMD.

The wearer can stamp her feet as a free action to begin planting deep roots that spring up thorny vines as she walks. While the sandals are active in this way, the wearer's speed is limited to 40 ft, but each 5-ft. square the user exits as part of her movement, is affected as though by an entangle spell with thorns (DC 17). The wearer can use this ability for up to 10 rounds per day. These rounds need not be consecutive. The entangle effect's duration begins the round the wearer ends an activation. Once per day as a standard action, the wearer may cause the vines in up to 40 of these spaces, to spring 10 feet into the air. This replaces the entangle effect in those spaces, with a thorny bramble that mimics the wall of thorns spell, except that the duration of the wall is the remaining duration of the entangle effect it began as. Those caught in the wall automatically take damage.

All of the sandals' abilities function only on surfaces that are softer than steel.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Heighten Spell, certain grip, entangle, wall of thorns; Cost 9,500 gp

First off, I do like the name. Though perhaps not "awesome," it has a double meaning with "creeper" both being a type of vine and a special way to move on your feet. I didn't change it. I think that some of the critiques were right and the price was too low. I increased it 10,000 gp to 29,000 gp. At this new price it falls between Dryad Sandals (24,000 gp) and Getaway Boots (30,000 gp). It is better in the competition to over shoot this a rather and come in too cheap. I was tempted to move the minor CMD ability to the end so as not to bury the lead, but since it is only one sentence and is tied to the description this is one instance I could see leaving it where it is. Though the speed limitation of the main ability might seem a little weird, monks would be too powerful with their high movement rate above 5th level, so I kept this limitation intact. Monks like sandals and I think that they should benefit a little from their increased speed while wearing these. I reworded things a little and simplified the wording and sentence structure. I know some of the critiques mentioned that the main ability breaks action economy with a free action activation, but this is no different than Boots of Speed and since it additionally requires at least one move action to get anything out of these boots (usually 6 squares per move action), I think this is balanced. For each move action it lays down 6 squares of a first level spell that usually covers 144 squares in a single standard action casting. It is shapeable, but you have to possibly endanger yourself to place them where they are most effective and these strips of entangle might be avoided with a simple Athletics check. There were no template problems that I could see. Mostly, the mechanics are solid, but the wording was bad. Hopefully this version fixed all these issues.

Thorn Creeper Sandals (Phloid Edit)
Thorn Creeper Sandals
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 10th
Slot feet; Price 29,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
Though comfortable to wear, these open-toed sandals appear to be made of thorny vines, the soles of which are covered in small twitching roots. If the wearer is the subject of a bull rush, drag, reposition, or trip attempt, the roots momentarily burrow into the ground granting the user a +2 circumstance bonus to CMD.

The wearer may stamp her feet as a free action and begin planting thorny vines as she walks. While the sandals are active in this way, the wearer's speed is limited to 40 feet, but each 5-ft. square the user exits as part of her movement is affected as an entangle spell with thorns (DC 17). The wearer can use this ability for up to 10 rounds per day though these rounds need not be consecutive. When the user ends an activation of this effect, all contiguous spaces laid down in that activation begin its 10 minute duration.

Once per day as a standard action, the wearer may cease laying down entangle spaces and cause the vines in up to 40 of such spaces to spring 10 feet into the air. This replaces the entangle effect with a wall of thorns, except that the duration of the wall is the remaining duration of the entangle effect it began as.

All of the sandals' abilities fail if used on surfaces harder than natural stone.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Heighten Spell, certain grip, entangle, wall of thorns; Cost 14,500 gp

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Nice idea. Have at it!

Shield of Compassionate Radiance:
Shield of Compassionate Radiance
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price 9,420 gp; Weight 15 lbs.

Description
A stylized longsword with golden sunburst radiating from the crossguard is emblazoned upon this +2 holy reliquary heavy steel shield.

A wielder with the lay on hands class feature may imbue the shield with divine light as a standard action by expending one of her daily uses of lay on hands, or as a swift action by spending two daily uses. Doing so makes the shield shine brightly as a torch for one round per paladin (or equivalent class) level.

While the shield shines, any cure spell cast within the light heals 1 extra point or deals 1 extra point of damage to undead per d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands. This does not apply to spells cast from wands or scrolls.

If an ally within the light is subject to an effect or a spell that causes a condition cured by one of the wielder’s mercies and grants a saving throw, the wielder may extinguish the light as an immediate action to grant the ally a sacred bonus equal to the wielder’s current Charisma modifier to that saving throw. Only one ally may be aided in this way, even if multiple allies are affected by the same effect.

Any circumstance that would make the wielder lose her shield bonus extinguishes the light. The wielder may dismiss the light as a free action.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bestow grace, light, sacred bond; Cost 4,795 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

I'm down as well, have at it!

-------------------------

Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts:

Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts
Aura faint conjuration and enchantment; CL 5th
Slot armor; Price 19,250 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
The iron rings of this +1 balanced chain shirt are a pale, ashen grey. Rising from among the entwined links, a thousand gossamer cords tangle into a murky smoke that drifts away into nothingness.

Three times per day as a standard action the wearer can become wreathed in a blinding maelstrom that leaves a tangled barrier of ash in its wake. Once activated, the wearer’s next single move action creates a 10-foot high curtain of ash that hangs in the air tracing their path and remaining for one round in each square the wearer has occupied during this movement. The woven curtain of ash completely fills each of the affected squares and blocks all sight (even darkvision), causing any creature inside the cloud (except the wearer) to gain the blinded condition.

The curtain of ash does not restrict movement into or throughout its depth, but any creature attempting to leave the cloud must first succeed at an overrun combat maneuver check versus the wearer’s Combat Maneuver Defense or their movement immediately ends while still inside the cloud.

Lastly, while activated, when the wearer’s move action ends in the same square from which it started, all interior squares contained within the envelope of their movement are immediately flooded by the surrounding maelstrom of ash.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, ash storm, cat’s grace; Cost 9,750 gp

Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Lets give this a go.

Ragathiel's Regalia:
Ragathiel's Regalia
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th Slot Armor; Price 124,000 gp; Weight 25 lbs.

Description

This +3 full plate has the holy symbol of ragathiel engraved on the chest plate. Like its namesake this armor combines two conflicting forces. In this case strength and flexibility into one, being made of both adamantine and mithral.

On command, it sprouts five fiery wings (producing light as the daylight spell) from the back and let the wearer fly (as spell). Useable six times per day for up to 5 minutes per use.

When worn by a paladin this is useable at will.

Construction Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, daylight, fly, creator must be good; Cost 74,750 gp]


Thank you for this thread!

ROD OF VERSATILE CHANNELING:

Spoiler:

ROD OF VERSATILE CHANNELING
Aura strong necromancy; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 11,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This rod appears to be made of a single, thin piece of intricately carved, black and white marble. A wielder who normally channels positive energy may instead use the rod to channel negative energy. Alternatively, a wielder who normally channels negative energy may instead use the rod to channel positive energy. In either case, the wielder uses the rod instead of her holy or unholy symbol when channeling energy in this manner. The rod may be used up to three times per day.
If the wielder is a necromancer, a neutral cleric who worships a neutral deity, or a neutral cleric who does not worship a deity, then the rod works as described. For all other wielders, using the rod is more difficult, and it becomes less effective or even somewhat harmful to the wielder. If such a wielder uses the rod to channel energy that would heal her of damage then she is only healed half of the usual number of hit points (minimum 1). If such a wielder uses the rod to channel energy that would harm her targets then she takes half of that damage herself, although she can still make a Will save to take only one quarter damage (minimum 1).

Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, Versatile Channeler; Cost 5,500 gp

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka michaeljpatrick

Sure! thanks

The Wing Smasher’s Hammer:

The Wing Smasher’s Hammer
Aura moderate abjuration; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 16,312 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
The handle of this +1 warhammer is carved from the bone of a large avian and the head is made of polished black stone.

Any flying creature that takes damage from the hammer must make a DC 15 fortitude saving throw. If failed the creature loses the ability to fly or levitate by any means for 1d4 rounds. If airborne at the time of the attack the creature falls immediately.

No flight or levitation related magic items or effects will work on the creature while under the hammer’s effect except for feather fall.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dispel magic, Cost 8,312gp

Star Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8

I posted in the official critique thread, but I'm curious what you'd do with this as well:

Staff of entwined elements:
Staff of entwined elements
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 98,550 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
Formed from lengths of ivory, oak, copper, and basalt, braided together by craft and magic, the staff of entwined elements is topped with a crystal orb containing a white continual flame. It functions as a +1 quarterstaff, enhanced only on the orb end, and allows the use of the following spells:

  • Lightning bolt (1 charge)
  • Scorching ray (1 charge)
  • Acid fog (2 charges)
  • Cone of cold (2 charges)
  • Elemental assessor (Chronicle of the Righteous)(2 charges)

While a target is under the effect of the staff's elemental assessor, the continual flame on the staff's head changes color based on the element of the ongoing damage (red for fire, yellow for electricity, green for acid, or blue for cold), and attacks with the staff's enhanced end deal an additional 1d6 damage of that type. While this effect is ongoing, the duration can be extended by expending charges from the staff (a swift action) at a rate of one minute per charge.
When casting any spell besides elemental assessor from the staff, an additional charge can be expended to change the spell's descriptor and damage type to any one of fire, electricity, acid, or cold. This does not change the spell's casting time.
In addition to the normal method of recharging a staff, the user can restore one charge per day to this staff by expending one use of an elemental metamagic rod or greater elemental metamagic rod.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Staff, Elemental Spell, acid fog, cone of cold, continual flame, elemental assessor, lightning bolt, scorching ray, the creator must either have the admixture arcane school or have Elemental Spell at least twice; Cost 49,450 gp

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Petty Alchemy

Sightstealer Rapier:

Sightstealer Rapier
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 13,120 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
This +2 rapier’s cup hilt appears as an open eye, and the blade itself protrudes from the iris.

Once per day when the wielder successfully strikes a target with the rapier, the wielder can activate the rapier as a free action to force the target to attempt a DC 13 Will save. On a failure, the target is blinded and the wielder’s eyes take on the appearance and qualities of the target’s eyes (granting the wielder low-light vision and/or darkvision up to 60 ft. if the target normally possesses these senses).

This effect lasts for 3 hours and cannot be dispelled, though it can be removed from the target by remove blindness-deafness, remove curse, break enchantment, or similar effects. If this effect is removed from the target, it is also removed from the wielder.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, blindness-deafness; Cost 6,720 gp

I'd love to see what you would do with it, for reasons I've spoilered in the main critique thread.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 4 , Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka King Tius

Feedback appreciated!

Staff of the Vineyard:

Staff of the Vineyard
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 16,200 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This wine-stained staff is hewn from the rib of a great oak wine barrel and is covered in bountiful grape vines. The vines produce enough berries to serve as rations for one medium creature per day and they regenerate with the sunrise. When used as the target of a goodberry spell, these grapes heal double the normal amount but do not increase the spell’s maximum amount of hit points cured in a 24-hour period. In addition, the bearer of this staff is immune to the effects of any entangle spell and, by expending an additional charge from the staff, can designate a number of creatures immune to the effects of any entangle spell they cast as per the Selective Spell feat. The staff allows use of the following spells:

  • Entangle (1 charge)
  • Goodberry (1 charge)
  • Shillelagh (1 charge)
  • Barkskin (2 charges)

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, barkskin, entangle, goodberry, shillelagh; Cost 8,100 gp

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka theheadkase

You're on Nickolas!

Chrysalis Carapace:
Chrysalis Carapace
Aura strong abjuration; CL 14th
Slot armor; Price 65,800 gp; Weight 40 lbs.
Description
This +3 reflecting suit of full plate armor is sweet smelling, honey-tinted, and made from layers of the discarded cocoons of giant moths or gloomwings.

Any creature worshiping a deity with a nature theme may add this armor to the list of armors in which she is proficient.

Three times per day the wearer can command the chrysalis carapace to form a split in the back with a loud cracking sound and sprout delicate looking butterfly wings. The wearer gains a fly speed of 40 feet (perfect) for 10 minutes. At the end of this duration, the wings furl back into the armor and the split seals itself.

Once per day the wearer can will the chrysalis carapace, as an immediate action, to force any one creature casting a spell to make a concentration check adding the wearer’s level to the DC. If the target fails the concentration check, the spell is lost to the caster and absorbed into the armor. Absorbing a spell in this manner causes the chrysalis carapce to open dozens of ragged slits and diaphanous, winged insects to pour out over the armor, granting the expeditious armor special ability for 1 hour.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, fly, spell turning; Cost 32,900 gp

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Found it!

Rerouting shield

Spoiler:
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 10th
Slot Shield; Price41,970 gp; Weight 15 lbs
Description
This polished +2 heavy steel shield is perfectly round and has golden runes engraved ont its rim. When the wearer of the shield is aware that he is the target of an attacl, the shield can become a one-way portal that redirects the attack to another target. Activating this ability is an immediate action that must be used before the attack role is made. The new target of the attack must e within 30 ft. of the wearer and in line of sight. The AC of the new target is used to see if the attack hits. This ability can be used three times per day.

Alternatively, once a day, the shield's wearer can make a bull rush manoeuvre against one creature to force it to enter a one-way portal. When this ability is used the wearer of the shield gets a +4 bonus to his CMB. If the manoeuvre is successful the creature reappears up to 30 ft. of its initial position in any direction that is within line of sight of the wearer. The creature cannot reappear in solid objects and if no free space is available the attempt automatically fails. When using this ability the wearer of the shield cannot move with his target. A creature can decide not to resist the bull rush.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimension door; Cost 21,070 gp

I think the second ability should have been about teleporting a creatures who charge at the wearer. Also, the casting level is wrong, it shoudl be 7th for that price.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Thanks for the interest, everyone. I've started at the top in a private document, but I think I will allow at least one or two critiques to come in for a particular item before I post the edit. Remember I will take designer notes and your own changes into consideration too, if you want to post them.

Marathon Voter Season 8

Sounds interesting.

Raven Leather:
Raven Leather
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot armor; Price 69,875 gp; Weight 20 lb.
Description
This +2 studded leather armor is made from oiled black leather and has been decorated with numerous feathers and beads of obsidian.

As a standard action the wearer can transform himself into a flock of ravens made out of shadows and spiraling feathers. This effect functions as gaseous form, except the wearer has a flying speed of 40 ft., fills a space of 10 ft. and every creature within this area is considered to have concealment. The wearer can stay in this shape for 10 minutes per day. This duration does not need to be consecutive, but it must be used in 1-minute increments.

Alternatively, the wearer can transform himself into a corporeal raven swarm. The wearer gains a +4 size bonus to Dexterity, a –2 penalty to Strength, fly 40 ft. (average), low-light vision, scent and the swarm traits. The wearer’s swarm attack deals 2d6 points of damage. Each round spent this way counts as 1 minute of the wearer’s normal time. If the wearer’s hit points drop below 0 while in the raven swarm shape, he immediately returns to his normal form, falls unconscious and is dying as normal. This is a polymorph effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, beast shape II, gaseous form; Cost 35,025 gp

I already know that the price is way too high and that this probably would have been a cloak had that been allowed this year. I got some feedback that the wording was a bit confusing, so I'd like to see your take on that.

Thank you very much in advance!


Any effort appreciated :D I know now pricing is wrong, but I don't know how to do it right. The poor thing lacks any kind of description, so there is nothing to really edit in the department. I am mostly wondering if the idea, of using knowledge gathered as a character, could help in some mechanical way like this :)

Ring of forgotten acquaintance:

Ring of forgotten acquaintance
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 12th
Slot ring slot; Price 7,000 gp; Weight — lbs.
Description
This ring grants you a +5 competence bonus on Bluff and Diplomacy checks, but only against a person who's history you know (or guess correctly). You have to start the conversation with something akin to: "Don't I know you from..." and name an actually place/organisation etc. where the person used to live/work for. They will be, for a short while, convinced they met you before, but forgot all about you. The confusion and embarrassment will make the Diplomacy and Bluff checks easier.
Construction
Requirements Forge ring, eagle’s splendor, creator must be 12th level; Cost 3,500 gp

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8 aka Jrcmarine

Might as well throw in mine. I will also add how I would have changed the item.

Sarenrae's Desert Caller:

Sarenrae’s Desert Caller
Aura strong conjuration and transmutation; CL 14th
Slot none; Price 48,830 gp; Weight 4lbs.

DESCRIPTION
This +2 defending scimitar appears sand-blasted and pitted from lack of proper care. Upon closer inspection the blade appears to shift and swirl like sand on the desert wind. The weapon feels lighter than normal and glowing yellow motes of dust seem to trail in its wake when wielded.

When a worshiper of Sarenrae has the weapon drawn and casts a conjuration spell, a mini-sandstorm erupts from the sword, engulfing the caster’s square. This sandstorm protects the caster by providing total concealment against attacks of opportunity triggered by the casting of the spell. The sandstorm does not impair the caster’s concentration, line of sight or any other senses. The sandstorm lasts for the duration of the casting time of the spell and then dissipates.

While the sword is drawn, all creatures summoned by the wielder via spell gain the sand creature template instead of their normal template.

Sand Creature Template (CR +2)
Creatures with the sand template are formed of sand, dust and ash particles from the elemental plane of fire. A sand creature’s quick & rebuild rules are the same.

Rebuild Rules: AC increase natural armor by +5; Ability Scores +4 Str; Senses gains blindsight 60ft.; Defensive Abilities gains DR 5/bludgeoning; immunity to all mind-affecting effects; immunity to bleed, critical hits, paralysis, poison, sleep effects, sneak attacks, and stunning. Vulnerability to Water

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Magic Arms & Armor, ash storm, dust form; must be a worshiper of Sarenrae; cost 24,415 gp

I think this would have been a stronger entry. Similar concept but focused a bit more.

Sarenrae's Desert Defender:

Sarenrae’s Desert Defender
Aura strong abjuration and conjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 62,315 gp; Weight 4lbs.

DESCRIPTION
The blade of this +3 defending scimitar appears to shift and swirl like sand on the desert wind. The weapon feels lighter than normal and glowing yellow motes of dust seem to trail in its wake when wielded.

When a worshiper of Sarenrae has the weapon drawn and casts a conjuration spell, a mini-sandstorm erupts from the sword, engulfing the caster’s square. While the sandstorm is active, it provides the caster total concealment against melee and ranged attacks of opportunity triggered by the casting of the spell. The sandstorm does not impair the caster’s line of sight or movement. If the caster moves during the casting of the spell, the sandstorm travels with the caster. The sandstorm lasts for the duration of the casting time of the spell and then dissipates.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Magic Arms & Armor, ash storm, shield; creator must be a worshiper of Sarenrae ; cost 31,000 gp

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 8

I'm in! Thanks for doing this!

Enlightened Jian:
Enlightened Jian
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 29,335 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
Swirling, cloudlike engravings run the length of this slender, almost weightless +2 mithral longsword. A monk who attacks with this elegant blade may use his Wisdom modifier instead of his Strength modifier on attack and weapon damage rolls. A monk also treats the blade as a monk weapon for use in his flurry of blows.

As part of a regular move action, the wielder can spend 1 ki point to gain the benefits of air walk (as the spell) until the start of his next turn. He may spend 1 additional ki point at the start of each turn as a free action to maintain the effect, up to a maximum number of consecutive rounds equal to his Wisdom modifier (minimum 1).

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, air walk, spiritual weapon, creator must be a monk; Cost 15,675 gp

Truthfully, this was a rushed entry. One of the judge's comments made me realize that I had forgotten that monks lack longsword proficiency. Whoops... [/facepalm]

Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

I'd be curious to see how you would/if you could rewrite my item:

Dynamic Staff:

Dynamic Staff
Aura moderate varies; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This plain wooden staff bears archaic sigils burnt into its surface, that change to reflect the spells currently contained within the staff. Unlike most staves, which have a static set of spells that can be cast from them, a dynamic staff holds three spells that can be changed by the wielder daily. The staff allows use of these three spells through the normal means of wielding a staff, except that they consume a number of charges from the dynamic staff equal to their spell level.
When a spellcaster imbues this staff with a spell to recharge it, the chosen spell replaces one of the three possible spells that can be cast from this staff (spellcaster’s choice). Imbuing a spell that the staff already possesses simply recharges it. Rather than regaining a single charge when imbued, the dynamic staff gains one charge per spell level of the prepared spell or slot expended. The staff can never gain more than 10 charges, with additional charges being lost. This imbuing counts as the spellcaster's one imbuing of a staff per day. Spells with expensive material components can never be imbued into the dynamic staff, simply failing to be cast if used.
For a randomly generated staff, treat it as a scroll to determine what three spells are stored in it.
A spellcaster who selects the dynamic staff as their bonded object can replace any one spell in the staff with the spell they cast from their spellbook using the bonded staff as they are casting it.

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, limited wish; Cost 10,000 gp

Even if you skip mine for some reason, thank you for doing this -- you are the kind of community member that make this competition special.

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9

Eremite Rod (original):
Eremite Rod
Aura strong necromancy; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 58,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.

Description
This bone rod, made from a bleached humanoid tibia, has a meager amount of sinew running its length and jagged shards of metal protruding from the tibia's head. Chain-like shadowy glyphs wrap the exposed bone surface, twisting and undulating in areas of bright light. The wielder can cast up to three spells per day that gain the pain descriptor and creatures that take damage from the spells must make an additional Fort save. On a failed save, a creature takes 1d4 bleed damage and suffers from pain while bleeding. The pain causes the creature to take a –2 penalty to AC, attacks, and Reflex saving throws, and must succeed at a concentration check to cast spells. The additional Fort save and the concentration check uses the spell's DC. Increase the DC by 1 if the spell has the evil, lawful, or shadow descriptor.

This rod acts as a +2 wounding bone light mace that can deal ability damage on a critical hit. The wielder may choose to eviscerate the target instead of the extra damage dealt by a critical hit. If eviscerated, the wielder chooses an ability score that takes 1d4 points of ability damage.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Rod, bleed, howling agony; Cost 29,000 gp

Eremite Rod (revised):
Eremite Rod
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 58,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.

Description
This bone rod, made from a bleached humanoid tibia, has sinew running its length and jagged shards of metal protruding from the tibia's head. Chain-like glyphs wrap the exposed bone surface, writhing in areas of bright light. The wielder can cast up to three spells per day that gain the pain descriptor and if the spell has the evil, lawful, or shadow descriptor, add +1 to the Difficulty Class for the saving throw. Creatures that take any hit point damage from the spells must make an additional Fort save. On a failed save, a creature takes 2d4 bleed damage in addition to the damage dealt by the spell.

This rod acts as a +2 wounding bone light mace that can eviscerate the target instead of dealing extra damage on a critical hit. Eviscerating the target allows the wielder to deal 1d4 points of ability damage to Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Rod, bleed, disfiguring touch; Cost 29,000 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Well, I could probably hold on to these forever and continue to tweak, maybe getting some more issues pointed out by later critiques, but I've got to start somewhere.

Obviously some items will need more editing than others. As one of the Jacobs, this might end up being an easy one to start with. And I'm honored to do so.

Jacob Trier's Shield of Compassionate Radiance

Spoiler:
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price 9,420 gp; Weight 15 lbs.
Description
A stylized longsword with golden sunburst radiating from the crossguard is emblazoned upon this +2 holy reliquary heavy steel shield.

A wielder with the lay on hands class feature may imbue the shield with divine light as a standard action by expending one of her daily uses of lay on hands, or as a swift action by spending two daily uses. Doing so makes the shield shine brightly as a torch for one round per paladin (or equivalent class) level.

While the shield shines, any cure spell cast within the light heals 1 extra point or deals 1 extra point of damage to undead per d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands. This does not apply to spells cast from wands or scrolls.

If an ally within the light is subject to an effect or a spell that causes a condition cured by one of the wielder’s mercies and grants a saving throw, the wielder may extinguish the light as an immediate action to grant the ally a sacred bonus equal to the wielder’s current Charisma modifier to that saving throw. Only one ally may be aided in this way, even if multiple allies are affected by the same effect.

Any circumstance that would make the wielder lose her shield bonus extinguishes the light. The wielder may dismiss the light as a free action.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bestow grace, light, sacred bond; Cost 4,795 gp

The name is good, if not great. Names are normally not my strong suit. I switched two words around to make it read a little easier, but you probably prefer the original. Like most things in design, it's subjective. It won't make of break the item.

The price seems pretty good, though I am just ball-parking it and added a tiny bit.

I think your first sentence is in passive voice or something and was a little confusing to read "longsword" before the actual item type, so I switched it around and edit it down to read easier.

The second paragraph seems fine to me though I moved some around to make it simpler. I removed the word "brightly" since torches provide "normal" illumination and not "bright." I'm sure that is not what you meant by "brightly" but to avoid confusion I cut it. Third paragraph seems good. I added the 1 on to the d6. I think this is the right way to do this. I found only one instance (besides class hit die) where there is no number in front of the d, and I see no reason not to make it 1d6.

Obviously, your lead is somewhat buried here, but with some items this is just the way it is. You have to set it up with the first ability.

I made a big change with the last ability to simplify it. Your ability gives a saving throw bonus which might completely negate all the effects of whatever is about to befall the ally. That is likely better than what mercies usually do (just remove one or more conditions), but it is a bit weird in its implementation. The issue is that the shield's magic must determine if the incoming spell or effect targeting the ally, but not yet on him, will grant a saving throw, and if failed (or even passed) will cause one of the conditions relieved by one of the wielder's mercies. And then the paladin can choose to grant a save bonus or not. It just seems like a lot for the shield's magic to determine before the user decides to use it. Does the GM need to tell the player what the spell is, or just that it may sicken or poison the target? How does the shield (and by proxy, the wielder) know this information before the effect goes off when mercies are usually reactive after the fact? What if the condition effects the target even on a passed save? It just seems weird. So I simplified it and brought it back to the mercy ability limitations, though I wanted to keep the use of the wielder's Charisma bonus so I allowed it to work on a number of allies. I like it because it allows the wielder to spread his mercy ability to multiple allies (and self) without relying on lay on hands. I think the power level is about the same though some might question the immediate action still there, but since it requires extinguishing the light that required a lay on hands, I feel this is balanced. Obviously it is better to use this ability just before the light goes out anyway, but if a situation comes up where the paladin would want to use a lay on hands to power the shield just to relieve conditions immediately, I'm fine with that.

The last paragraph adds a restriction that I think is a bit much. I think there are effects that might make the wielder lose his shield bonus (possibly to just one attack) even if he still wields it, but I think it makes more sense to make the light go out if he loses contact with the shield.

Does Consecrate need to be in the construction requirements to make a Holy Reliquary shield? Maybe you avoided it cause it is not a paladin spell (but it should be). I added it. What about the Create Reliquary Arms and Shields feat? That is just a weird feat and should have just been a weapon and armor special ability, but as Raynuff pointed out in his critique, it is not and should not be italicized. The feat still says that it requires the ability to cast Hollow or Unhollow in the feat list prerequisites (SRD), but Consecrate or Desecrate in the feat itself. That feat needs more editing than your item.

I also took out Bestow Grace, as it was an abjuration spell (not in the aura) and I took out the save bonus part.

Though it is not required (nor necessarily suggested) in the competition, I really like it when items are hyperlinked, especially when the item references something outside the Core Rule Book. I say use the technology that is available to you.

Overall, your original item is quite good. It is low power level and quite niche being primarily for one class. I saw some chatter about paladin weapons and shields on the rant thread, not all negative, but being niche may have held you back some. You made the cull so you did better than I did. Obviously niche is better than humorous, which is what mine was. Anyway, great job and I hope this gives you some insight into how your item might be viewed by another designer. Good luck in next year's competition.

Shield of Compassionate Radiance (Phloid Edit)
Shield of Radiant Compassion
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price 9,920 gp; Weight 15 lbs.
Description
This +2 heavy steel shield is emblazoned with a stylized longsword featuring a golden sunburst at the crossguard. It functions as a holy symbol divine focus for the wielder's deity (see Create Reliquary Arms and Shields in UM).

A wielder with the lay on hands class feature may imbue the shield with divine light as a standard action by expending one of her daily uses of lay on hands, or as a swift action by spending two daily uses. Doing so makes the shield shine as a torch for one round per level of the class granting lay on hands.

While the shield shines, any cure spell cast within the normal light radius heals 1 extra point of damage per 1d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands, or deals a like amount of extra damage to undead. This does not apply to spells cast from magic items.

If the wielder or any allies within the light are subject to any condition that may be removed by the wielder’s mercies, the wielder may extinguish the light as an immediate action to remove conditions from a number of individuals equal to his Charisma modifier (minimum 1) as though lay on hands had been used. This ability provides no healing and does not cost an extra use of lay on hands.

The light may be dismissed as a free action and is immediately extinguished if the wielder looses physical contact with the shield.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Create Reliquary Arms and Shields (UM), consecrate, light, sacred bond (APG); Cost 4,870 gp

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Dreaming Star:

Dreaming Star
Aura strong illusion (shadow); CL 17th
Slot ring; Price 50,000 gp; Weight
Description
Coalesced from purest ether, shining with a flickering multi-hued corona of palest starlight, a dreaming star resembling a constantly transforming gemstone, rests in a delicate and intricate ring setting reminiscent of the night sky, which channels its unfettered power.

The wearer of a dreaming star may once per day, upon command, evoke from herself or a willing or unconscious subject, whom she can touch, a dream or fantasy which she forces into reality.

For a number of minutes equal to the wearer’s charisma score the evoked fantasy manifests as if created via shades used to emulate create demiplane. Individuals, details, and items within the dream are as if created with persistent image, with the exceptions of adding tactile sensory feedback and operating as they would in the dream rather than to a script.

The wearer of a dreaming star may as a full round action choose to destroy the star while it is manifesting a dream so as to allow her to select one item or person from that fantasy and grant them a permanent form. Items created by this use of a dreaming star may not have a sale value greater than that of the star. Individuals created thus are as created by Simulacrum using the bearer’s level as caster level, with the exception that they maintain their own free will and are only as loyal to the bearer of the star as they were in the dream that created them.

This use of the dreaming star immediately ends any dream or fantasy currently manifested by the star.
Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, persistent image, shades, simulacrum; Cost 25,000 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 8

Foe Stitcher:

Foe Stitcher
Aura Moderate Conjuration; CL 9th [Price 15,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
According to legend this weapon once belonged to a cruel fey queen.
This oversized needle counts as a +2 silver rapier. Whenever Foe Stitcher deals piercing damage to an enemy, it creates a silver thread that connects the weapon to its victim. This thread counts as invisible except to the wielder of Foe Stitcher or those under the effect of See Invisibility or an equivalent and possesses a maximum length of 200ft. The thread possesses hardness 5 and 12 hp, it can be cut through by the usual means or with a dc 25 strength check.

Any enemy inflicted with a silver thread can be subject to a Drag maneuver at range as a Standard action. This can be modified with feats as per the Drag maneuver.
Whenever a second enemy is damaged with Foe Stitcher, the first enemy damaged becomes subject to a ranged drag attempt as a free action. Treat the second enemy as the one initiating the drag maneuver for moving the first enemy. Enemies affected by this ability cannot move farther away from each other than the distance they were apart when the ability was used, without first breaking the thread connecting them. Subsequent drag attempts by the wielder continue to target the first enemy struck. Only two enemies can be effected by this ability at once. If enemies would be dragged into adjacent squares as a result of this ability they are sewn together, which causes them to count as entangled in addition to the restricted movement.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Animate Rope, Chain of Perdition
Cost 7,500gp

Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

Thanks for the offer!

Dirk of Treachery:
Dirk of Treachery
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 18,302gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
The blade of this long, thin dirk appears black as night, and its hilt and crossguard are likewise unadorned and colorless. Invented by the cult of Father Skinsaw, and now favored by assassins and conspirators throughout the Inner Sea, this +1 keen dagger strikes deep when its victim is unaware of its presence. Against an opponent that is flanked, flat-footed, or denied its Dexterity bonus to AC, this weapon's enhancement bonus increases by +2.

When attacking an opponent that had considered the weilder to be a friend or ally (GM's discretion), the dirk of treachery deals an additional +2d6 pecision damage. This additional damage is not doubled on a critical hit.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, disguise self, inflict moderate wounds; Cost 9,302 gp

My design process:
I came up with the idea of the item while thinking of the TV show Warehouse 13. That's the show about secret agents tracking down historical items that had become magical due their proximity to historial lynchpin moments and/or particularly influential people. That line of thinking led me to consider the dagger Marcus Brutus used to assassinate Julius Caesar-- and that was my concept: A dagger that you use to kill your friends.

From that angle, I thought "treachery," and that made me think it should be a "friend bane" item. But then I thought that would be too niche, especially for a PC. So then I thought, "a weapon that really kicks people when they're down." Keeping with the bane idea, I gave it a bane weapon's increased enhancement bonus whenever someone is flanked or denied Dex bonus, with added bane damage when the target thought the weilder had been a friend.

Critiquing my own item:
The name could have been a bit stronger. The last line of the first paragraph should have read, "..the weapon's enhancement bonus increases to +3." I sould have referred to the extra damage in the next paragraph as, "...deals an additional +2d6 damage, as a bane weapon." That would have allowed me to to kill the final line of the description.

I also forgot to list keen edge in the construction requirements. I also probably should have left out the "(GM's discretion)" note... that goes without saying, as there's no other game mechanic to determine whether someone considers you an ally.

I didn't come close to using all the word count-- I thought that these were enough powers and that additional words would have either muddied the core concept or gone into an unnecessary backstory. I was on the fence about the one line of backstory I chose to include, and I'm not sure if it helped or hurt.

Disguise self is in the construction requirements purely for flavor: it's a nod to the weilder pretending to be a friend to a potential victim.

As for pricing, I figured that its unusual properties were roughly equivalent to a +1 enhancement, so I priced it as a +3 dagger.

Finally, and I had the word count to do it, I should have given the weilder a +5 bonus to Sleight of Hand checks to conceal the dirk of treachery on one's person.

Commentary on other feedback I've received so far:
Looks like I fell into both the "X of Y" naming convention and used the "favored by" trope. I got a bunch of black marks for those. I also got a LOT of negative feedback on including the phrase "GM's discretion." It would appear that many players consider those "weasel words" that a GM can use to screw with players... Duly noted.

I got flack for that one line of backstory. That surprised me because a common critique of my butterfly-themed 2014 entry was that it didn't include a reference to the Chuch of Desna!

One thing that really stung was that, until it was pointed out to me, I hadn't even considered how close this item was to the sword of subtlety from the CRB. That item hadn't even entered my mind at all when I was putting it together! I got that terrible deflated feeling of being proud of an original idea and then having someone else point out that someone had already done it, and better. At least Mark Seifter thought that mine was cooler!

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8 aka Cathara

Harlequin's Hurlbat:

Harlequin’s Hurlbat
Aura Moderate Illusion and Transmutation; CL 7th
Slot None; Price 45,000; Weight 2 lb.

Description
A well balanced steel hurlbat bound in colorful ribbons that catch the eye, it creates a distinctive whistle as it spins through the air.

This +1 returning hurlbat feels most at home in the hands of a performer. The wielder can attempt a DC 15 Perform (juggle) check as a standard action and can maintain it as a move action on subsequent rounds. Activation conjures three +1 hurlbats each with a range of 30 feet and affects the wielder with a mirror image spell creating 1d4+2 illusory doubles.

The wielder can throw a conjured hurlbat as a standard action. A struck opponent takes damage normally and must make a DC 15 Will Save or be dazed for one round as the bright ribbons disorientate them. When all three conjured hurlbats are thrown or the performance ends the mirror image doubles and conjured hurlbats disappear.

This effect may be activated 3 times per day.

A bard wielding this weapon gains the martial weapon proficiency: hurlbat; and increases the save DC for any bardic performance using this weapon by +2.

Construction Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, abundant ammunition, daze, mirror image, telekinesis; Cost 22,500 gp

Contributor , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Great idea!

Show:
Celerity Blade
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 47,315 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Forged with an infusion of quicksilver and quickling blood, this +1 speed mithral longsword’s mirrorlike blade shimmers as droplets of mercurial liquid course from hilt to point. This weapon is nimble despite being a longsword, and functions as a light weapon. The crossguard depicts the visage of a quickling that changes expressions ranging from sneering at foes to smiling when blood is drawn.

The celerity blade harnesses the energy of the fey creature and grants the wielder a charge attack that does not need to move in a straight line. The wielder’s base land speed is doubled while charging, leaving streaks of silver trailing behind.

This blade’s swiftness grants the wielder the ability to hide its movement from view, and on the first round of initiative targets are considered flat-footed whether they have acted in the round or not.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, cat’s grace, lighten object, haste; Cost 25,815 gp

I do realize the price is too low and the cost was miscalculated.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Nickolas Floyd wrote:
Awesome design stuff

Thank you very much for your take on my Item, Nickolas.

One of the things that tripped me was using Herolab to find a cheap and thematically fitting armor quality to slap on the shield, and I simply didn't realize that reliquary shields and armor had their own feat attached to them, and that this impacted on the way the price was calculated and on the description of the item. That will certainly teach me to check the source book another time.

I also cringed a bit every time someone ranted against single-class or paladin items. I realized from the beginning that it was a risky choice, but still. Fun fact, most LG characters can gain lay on hands if they really want to.

I noticed you changed the first power of the shield, the effect of the light while it shines. Want to see something funny? This is my very first writeup of the shield (bold tags added for emphasis):

Jacob's first draft wrote:

Shield of Compassionate Radiance - 262 words

Aura moderate conjuration and abjuration; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price ZZ gp; Weight 15 lbs.

Description
A stylized longsword with golden sunburst radiating from the crossguard is emblazoned upon this +2 holy reliquary heavy steel shield.

A wielder with the lay on hands class feature may imbue the shield with divine light as a standard action by expending one of her daily uses of lay on hands, or as a swift action by spending two daily uses. Doing so makes the shield shine brightly as a torch for one round per paladin (or equivalent class) level.

While the shield shines, any cure spell cast within the light heals 1 extra point or deals 1 extra point of damage to undead per d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands.

If an ally within the light is subject to an effect or a spell that grants a saving throw and causes a condition cured by one of the wielder’s mercies, the wielder may extinguish the light as an immediate action to grant the ally a sacred bonus to the saving throw equal to the wielder’s current charisma modifier. Only one ally may be aided in this way, even if multiple allies are affected by the same effect.

Any circumstance that would make the wielder lose her shield bonus (such as an enemy breaking the shield, dropping the shield, or becoming helpless or unconscious) extinguishes the light. The wielder may dismiss the light as a free action.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor,bestow grace, light, sacred bond; Cost ZZ gp

Great minds, and all that, huh? I think I changed it because I wanted something that was active, not passive.

Another thing I considered after submitting was altering the last ability to activate on a failed save, granting a re-roll with the wielder's CHA modifier as a bonus.

I really like your version of the shield, and if you can point me to your own item, I'd be happy to return the favor.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Acre's wrote:

Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts

Aura faint conjuration and enchantment; CL 5th
Slot armor; Price 19,250 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
The iron rings of this +1 balanced chain shirt are a pale, ashen grey. Rising from among the entwined links, a thousand gossamer cords tangle into a murky smoke that drifts away into nothingness.

Three times per day as a standard action the wearer can become wreathed in a blinding maelstrom that leaves a tangled barrier of ash in its wake. Once activated, the wearer’s next single move action creates a 10-foot high curtain of ash that hangs in the air tracing their path and remaining for one round in each square the wearer has occupied during this movement. The woven curtain of ash completely fills each of the affected squares and blocks all sight (even darkvision), causing any creature inside the cloud (except the wearer) to gain the blinded condition.

The curtain of ash does not restrict movement into or throughout its depth, but any creature attempting to leave the cloud must first succeed at an overrun combat maneuver check versus the wearer’s Combat Maneuver Defense or their movement immediately ends while still inside the cloud.

Lastly, while activated, when the wearer’s move action ends in the same square from which it started, all interior squares contained within the envelope of their movement are immediately flooded by the surrounding maelstrom of ash.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, ash storm, cat’s grace; Cost 9,750 gp

Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts (Phloid Edit)

Armor of the Ashstorm Wake
Aura faint conjuration; CL 5th
Slot armor; Price 25,250 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
Rising from the ashen grey rings of this +2 chain shirt are whips of murky smoke that drift away into nothingness.

For up to five rounds per day, the wearer may have the armor cover him in a swirling whirlwind of ash that leaves a dense cloud behind as he moves. Activating this ability is a standard action and provides the wearer with total concealment. Additionally, every 5-foot square he exits during his turn is treated as a single space of the ash storm spell. This effect fills the whole square to a height of 10 feet and whenever this effect completely surrounds unaffected squares, all those squares are immediately flooded by the surrounding ash storm effect. The wearer may end an activation at the end of his turn, in which case the effects end at the beginning of his next turn. Alternately, at the end of his turn he may spend another round of daily use to continue to lay down spaces of ash storm and maintain total concealment through his next turn. If the wearer takes any standard action, all effects end immediately.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, ash storm (UM); Cost 12,750 gp

Editor's Notes

Spoiler:

Despite the name seeming long it does roll off the tongue fairly well. The name does not give a clear idea what it does. I picture heavy armor because of "ramparts" in the name makes me think of a castle wall, and "mail" could be a lot of armors. Granted, it makes a sort of "wall" but not a solid one which is what "ramparts" conjures in the mind. Names are not my strong suit but I took a stab at it. I don't love it, but I'm not sold on the original either. I was tempted to make the armor chainmail to keep "mail" in the name but since this would slow down the wearer I decided not to.

The first sentence of the description is bit unexciting as most chain armor is grey or ashen grey. I am also a big believer in a single descriptive sentence so I combined them and took out what might be a bit of an overkill in descriptive text. It just seemed a bit wordy.

There is no enchantment spell in the requirements and no real enchantment ability so the aura needed changed. I can only assume that you maybe thought Cat's Grace was an enchantment spell, when it is a transmutation spell. I'm not really crazy about the Balanced armor ability on this armor. It is not a very tight fit thematicly and removing it would remove Cat's Grace in the requirements. I was tempted to add the Expeditious armor ability to give the option of more movement, but without some theme tweaking this might not work so I left it out.

I don't care for the word "maelstrom" in this item. Though it does fit some definitions of the word, the first thing I think of when I read the word is a whirlpool vortex in a body of water. Maelstrom also refers to part of the Outer Sphere and I don't think you want to risk referencing that with this item. I chose other words.

Though it does make it even more of a SIAC item, I did use the Ash Storm spell in the ability because it is so close to what you wrote and saves words. This does make it a little less superstar, but nearly rewriting the effects of a spell in an item doesn't serve well either. Your placement is unique enough, though there have been other RPGSS items that have similar placements. I was tempted to use some of the mechanics from my Thorn Creeper Sandals in the second post here, but
I did it a bit different here any I like it. The Ash Storm spell does not allow the caster to see in the storm, nor does it allow him to avoid the difficult terrain. I could see an armor allowing movement to be unrestricted by virtue of wearing it, but I see no reason for chain armor to clear one's sight through a cloud of ash. As I have it the ash does not hamper the wearer as it comes off him, but if he goes back into the cloud he will be effected just as the spell would effect him.

I feel it is a bit weird to require a combat maneuver check against someone who may be 25 feet away when moving out of the cloud. It also seemed to not really fit within the effects or not have an obvious reason like the ability for the wearer to see in the cloud. Why can those in the cloud move freely through it, but have to oppose the wearer to get out? What exactly is keeping them in? Not only that, but who would enter these six squares in the single turn that they existed? I get that this sort of ties into the Balanced ability, but it still seems weird.

I gave the wearer total concealment while the armor is activated. Concealment just makes sense if he is in this spinning ash cloud, but it was whether he should have 20% or 50% miss chance. The 50% of total concealment protects him from AOOs while moving around the battlefield and makes everyone essentially blind toward his exact position due to the Ash Storm. That makes sense to me.

The encircling of an area and filling it in is a great idea, but with a single move action the average character with a speed of 30' can barely encircle a single square in a single move action and only if he moves all in diagonals. If trying to encircle an enemy this will provoke at least one AOO so the addition of concealment helps. I wanted to keep this idea intact and make it more useful, so I made the ability usable for five rounds per day and allowed the possibility to encircle areas with consecutive uses as long as the wearer does not do much else but move.

Though it is not required (nor necessarily suggested) in the competition, as a voter I really like it when items are hyperlinked, especially when the item references something outside the Core Rule Book. I say, use the technology that is available to you.

As of the time of this writing, one reviewer thought it was under priced, while others pointed out that parts of it did not really work as intended. I think it was overpriced in its original form and had more limitations that you might have realized. My version is weaker in some areas (the CMD to move out), but stronger in others (provides concealment works for more than one round, and can more often encircle spaces). Though I'm only ball-parking the costs and prices I feel like I increased the power of the item enough to increase the cost some.

Overall, this was a interesting set of armor that had some great ideas. You made the cull so you did better than I did. I hope this gives you some insight into how your item might be viewed by another designer. Work on your execution and I could see you making the top 32 in the near future. Good luck in next year's competition.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Jacob Trier wrote:

Thank you very much for your take on my Item, Nickolas.

...I noticed you changed the first power of the shield, the effect of the light while it shines. Want to see something funny? This is my very first writeup of the shield (bold tags added for emphasis):

Jacob's first draft wrote:

Shield of Compassionate Radiance

While the shield shines, any cure spell cast within the light heals 1 extra point or deals 1 extra point of damage to undead per d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands.
Jacob's posted draft wrote:

Shield of Compassionate Radiance

While the shield shines, any cure spell cast within the light heals 1 extra point or deals 1 extra point of damage to undead per d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands.
Phloid's edited draft wrote:

Shield of Radiant Compassion

While the shield shines, any cure spell cast within the normal light radius heals 1 extra point of damage per 1d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands, or deals a like amount of extra damage to undead.

Maybe you posted your first version on this thread? The lines in question seem to be the same. Did the submitted version do something else? I only changed the wording to to maybe make it a little clearer without having to say the same thing twice. I'd certainly like to see what the final version did if you have it.

I think that the granting of an extra save would have worked a little better than the immediate action version it had for the reasons I put in my notes. But then I don't think it should necessarily be reliant on the user's mercies for the fact that many spells and abilities give conditions even on a failed save. It is kind of weird to get a new save or a save bonus because of the presence or possibility of a condition, but still end up with that condition when the save is successful.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Well, that's embarrassing. I did indeed post one of my early drafts. Rookie mistake.

Here's the version the voters and judges saw:

Shield of Compassionate Radiance:
Shield of Compassionate Radiance
Aura moderate abjuration and conjuration; CL 6th
Slot shield; Price 12,420 gp; Weight 15 lbs.
Description
This +2 holy reliquary heavy steel shield has a stylized longsword with a radiant golden sunburst crossguard emblazoned upon its surface.
A wielder with the lay on hands class feature may imbue the shield with divine light as a standard action by expending one of her daily uses of lay on hands, or as a swift action by spending two daily uses. Doing so makes the shield shine like a torch for one round per paladin (or equivalent class) level.
While the shield shines, any undead that hits the wielder with a melee attack takes one point of holy damage per d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands. If the wielder makes a shield slam attack against an undead, this damage is added to the shield slam damage.
The wielder may use the shield to aid allies in the illuminated area. If an ally other than the wielder is subject to an effect or spell that causes a condition cured by one of the wielder’s mercies and grants a saving throw, the wielder may extinguish the light as an immediate action. This grants the ally a sacred bonus equal to the wielder’s Charisma modifier to that saving throw. Only one ally may be aided in this way, even if multiple allies are affected by the same effect.
If the wielder loses her shield bonus for any reason, the light is immediately extinguished.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bestow grace, life shield, sacred bond; Cost 6,295 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Jacob Trier wrote:

Well, that's embarrassing. I did indeed post one of my early drafts. Rookie mistake.

Here's the version the voters and judges saw:

** spoiler omitted **

I do like the slam attack idea, but I'm not sure about the damage to undead if they hit the wielder. The shield is supposed to protect him and it is a little weird that it deals damage when the shield fails to protect him. What if it dealt this fairly small amount of damage when an undead attacks in melee and misses? This sort of implies that the attack struck the shield but that could also be written into the ability.

I also liked how the original ability used the light radius in its effect, but I can see the somewhat more active ability being a boon to the item as well. Either way, I like it.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

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Azouth wrote:

Ragathiel's Regalia

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th Slot Armor; Price 124,000 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description

This +3 full plate has the holy symbol of ragathiel engraved on the chest plate. Like its namesake this armor combines two conflicting forces. In this case strength and flexibility into one, being made of both adamantine and mithral.

On command, it sprouts five fiery wings (producing light as the daylight spell) from the back and let the wearer fly (as spell). Useable six times per day for up to 5 minutes per use.

When worn by a paladin this is useable at will.

Construction Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, daylight, fly, creator must be good; Cost 74,750 gp]

Ragathiel's Regalia

Aura strong evocation and transmutation; CL 13th
Slot Armor; Price 100,000 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
The near mirror-like breastplate of this +3 mithral full plate is emblazoned with the wing and sword symbol of Ragathiel, the General of Vengeance. For worshipers of Ragathiel it functions as a holy symbol divine focus.

As a standard action, the armor can sprout fiery wings. On the first activation each day, there are six wings that shine light as the daylight spell and provide the effects of a fly spell. The fly speed is 60 feet despite the heavy armor (though a load heavier than light still reduces the fly speed). On each activation, this ability lasts for a number of minutes equal to twice the number of remaining wings. If a wing is removed, this reduces the duration immediately.

As a standard action the wearer may grab one of the wings, rip it from his back, and throw it at a target creature within 60 feet as a ranged touch attack with no range penalty. If the attack hits, the target takes 3d8 fire damage. A wearer with the smite evil ability may spend a daily use of smite evil and apply it to this attack.

For each wing that is removed from the armor, the fly speed and the light radius is decreased by 10 feet (reducing the increased area of light by 20 feet). If only one wing remains the armor cannot fly, but acts similarly to a feather fall spell, though the wearer may move 10 feet laterally each round of falling.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, daylight, fire of vengeance (APG), fly, creator must worship Ragathiel; Cost 62,750 gp

Editor's Notes

Spoiler:

The name is pretty great, but this item is kind of plain in my opinion. It is armor that flies. Nothing especially spectacular about it except maybe the visual, though it is Ragathiel's visual so it not unique. It is better for a paladin. I think the most superstar aspect about it is that fact that it is created from two different special materials, but this was not fully explored with armor stats. I get the reference to Ragathiel and his mixed lineage, but neither mithral nor adamantine is angelic or fiendish and the connection is quite loose. One material is stronger than the other, and one lighter than the other, but I've never pictured either as a "conflicting force" of the other. It is really expensive for what it does considering Wings of Flying is only 54,000 gp. Flying is really good, but not that good. With my edit, I was shooting for around the same price but I don't think it quite gets there so I lowered it 24,000. I wish it could be created with only paladin spells, but what are ya gonna do? They can't cast fly. And neither can most clerics. With the changes, I tried to add "Vengeance" or "Righteous" to the name, but it was clunky or too much alliteration. It was certainly not intentional, but is there a subliminal message from the lower hells in my edit? I'm not saying anything, but there are a lot of sixes in here. To make this item more superstar, I went deep with the Ragathiel and his back story (losing a wing) and ended up dropping the mixed materials. This added a fair number of words to the item, but in the end it has more punch I think. I hope you agree.

Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber
Nickolas Floyd wrote:

Ragathiel's Regalia...

Thank you, I do agree that the edit is much better.

Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Its going to be a while before you get to it, but count me in, and thanks!

Perpetual Vortex Staff:

Perpetual Vortex Staff
Aura moderate evocation and transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 35,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description

This matte black, metallic staff is composed of small, hexagonal discs that perpetually disconnect, revolving momentarily in an erratic orbit, and reattach in ever changing locations. Perpetually unraveling and reforming a few discs at a time, the staff remains in a state of chaotic equilibrium. The perpetual vortex staff allows the use of the following abilities:

Steps of faith (1 charge) Discs swarm underneath the wielder with each step, interlocking and creating a solid surface beneath her. This ability stays active for up to 3 rounds. While active, the discs support only the wielder wherever she moves, creating walkways or stairs to aid her passage.
Throw the first stone (2 charges) Release a deluge of discs, forming a heaping mound of loose rubble that buries a target within 30 feet. A buried target cannot cast spells with somatic components and must take a full round action to extricate themselves. A DC 20 escape artist check reduces this to a standard action. Once the target is free, the affected space(s) become difficult terrain.
Cleansing vortex (3 charges) Discs swirl in a violent torrent around the wielder, creating a maelstrom of spinning metal and debris. While this ability is active, ranged attacks that target the wielder take a -4 penalty to hit and all adjacent creatures take 3d6 bludgeoning damage per turn. The wielder may also attempt a free bull rush attempt as a swift action once per turn to push all adjacent creatures back 5 feet. Succeeding on this check by more than 10 also knocks the creature prone. This ability lasts for up to 3 rounds.

Construction

Requirements Craft Staff, force punch, shifting sand, stone shape; Cost 17,500 gp


Great idea Nickolas, I'd love to see what you got!

I didn't want to use reverse gravity because it jump the CL from 8 to 13 but it's a perfect fit to the flavor. I never made an item before so do whatever, it'd be nice to see a mechanic that isn't just modifying it's spells.

Heaven's Tether
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 71,500 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
The reflection of this silvery staff shows only clouds moving rapidly against gravity. These clouds occasionally escape Heaven's Tether and quickly dissipate. Once per day the wielder can still the reflection, calming the clouds and becoming bound to the sky for 1 min./level. For the duration, stabilizing against the effects of a Levitate spell is automatic and does not require a full round, and spells can be cast while falling. Casting a spell during a skybound fall does not require a concentration check. The staff allows the use of the following spells:

Feather fall (1 charge)
Levitate (1 charge)
Glide (Advanced Player's Guide) (1 charge)
Hostile levitation (Ultimate Combat) (2 charges)
Reverse gravity (4 charges)

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, Feather Fall, Levitate, Glide, Hostile Levitation, Reverse Gravity; Cost 35,750 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Papasteve08 wrote:
Its going to be a while before you get to it, but count me in, and thanks!

Yeah, this takes a while, but I will eventually get to everyone. I've got more time on weekends so I should be able to do at least four or five in the next couple days.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Nickolas Floyd wrote:
Papasteve08 wrote:
Its going to be a while before you get to it, but count me in, and thanks!
Yeah, this takes a while, but I will eventually get to everyone. I've got more time on weekends so I should be able to do at least four or five in the next couple days.

Once I catch up I'm willing to help... I was actually going to try and star a Superstar based fan-mag using entry rewrites as a free PDF but for legal reasons we couldn't work it out. I might do something else for the community though and I'd be willing to do a few of these.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

GM_Solspiral wrote:
Once I catch up I'm willing to help... I was actually going to try and star a Superstar based fan-mag using entry rewrites as a free PDF but for legal reasons we couldn't work it out. I might do something else for the community though and I'd be willing to do a few of these.

I appreciate the offer, but so far this is not too bad. Sure, it might take me a month to do them all, but I'll get them eventually. If there were as many as posted to the critique thread I would take you up on it, but I expected many entrants would have reservations about turning over their designs. If you want to edit items on another thread, feel free to do so.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Atavar wrote:

ROD OF VERSATILE CHANNELING

Aura strong necromancy; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 11,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This rod appears to be made of a single, thin piece of intricately carved, black and white marble. A wielder who normally channels positive energy may instead use the rod to channel negative energy. Alternatively, a wielder who normally channels negative energy may instead use the rod to channel positive energy. In either case, the wielder uses the rod instead of her holy or unholy symbol when channeling energy in this manner. The rod may be used up to three times per day.
If the wielder is a necromancer, a neutral cleric who worships a neutral deity, or a neutral cleric who does not worship a deity, then the rod works as described. For all other wielders, using the rod is more difficult, and it becomes less effective or even somewhat harmful to the wielder. If such a wielder uses the rod to channel energy that would heal her of damage then she is only healed half of the usual number of hit points (minimum 1). If such a wielder uses the rod to channel energy that would harm her targets then she takes half of that damage herself, although she can still make a Will save to take only one quarter damage (minimum 1).

Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, Versatile Channeler; Cost 5,500 gp

Rod of Versatile Channeling (Phloid Edit)

Rod of Divine Polarity
Aura strong necromancy; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 36,305 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This sturdy, two-foot rod is carved from molted black and white marble and features two large orbs, one black and one white, on opposite ends.

The rod functions as a +1 light mace no matter which end is grasped, but it is not long enough to be used as a double weapon. The wielder may use his channel energy ability to imbue one end of this weapon, granting the holy or unholy weapon ability depending on the type of energy channeled, positive or negative respectively. This lasts 1 round for each 1d6 of the channel ability used.

Three times per day when held by a character while using the channel energy class feature, the rod of divine polarity can convert positive or negative energy to the opposite variety. The wielder must use the rod instead of her holy or unholy symbol when channeling energy in this manner. If the wielder converts the type of energy she normally channels into its opposite, her effective class level is considered 2 levels lower than normal for that use of channel energy. If the wielder is good or evil, the effective class level is 4 levels lower instead. If the wielder can already channel both kinds of energy these penalties are halved.

Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, holy smite, unholy blight, creator must be must be able to channel positive energy and negative energy; Cost 18,305 gp

Editor's Notes

Spoiler:
The original item is not bad, but it does not appeal to me. Like some others in the critiques, I don't feel that good clerics should ever channel negative energy, or at least be at the risk of being maligned by his deity. But, I edited the item with the goal of retaining the theme, while trying to make it more usable with an ability that encourages you to channel the opposite energy more often. The name had to go, because it is almost the same as the feat in its creation requirements. This just screams "feat in a can." Of course I then took the feat out of the requirements, though it is the only thing I know that will grant the requirement I added. It took more words, but I did it just in case there is or will be anther way to channel both kinds of energy and that character might want to make this item, but will not want or need the feat. I also embraced the Versatile Channeler feat in a couple ways since the comparison is already there and it has a kind of elegant way to limit the channeling. I considered making the radius smaller instead, but that seemed less elegant and did not limit the weapon imbuing ability's duration. As the judges pointed out, there was a wondrous item that did similar things a couple years back that I have vague memories of. I did not go find it for this edit and I don't remember how it worked. The original penalty to harm creatures is bad enough that it is unlikely to be used by a good or evil cleric the few times he might want to use it. They will usually have a better option at their disposal during their turn. I added its use as a weapon and an option to use the channel ability to imbue it temporarily. This increased the cost significantly, but I also lowered the caster level. It was way too high in the original. The price and caster level are a bit more in sync now. Finally, in this form, I'm still not crazy about it, but I feel it has an improvement in usefulness. I hope you like it.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

michael patrick wrote:

The Wing Smasher’s Hammer

Aura moderate abjuration; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 16,312 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
The handle of this +1 warhammer is carved from the bone of a large avian and the head is made of polished black stone.
Any flying creature that takes damage from the hammer must make a DC 15 fortitude saving throw. If failed the creature loses the ability to fly or levitate by any means for 1d4 rounds. If airborne at the time of the attack the creature falls immediately.

No flight or levitation related magic items or effects will work on the creature while under the hammer’s effect except for feather fall.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dispel magic, Cost 8,312gp

The Wing Smasher’s Hammer (Phloid Edit)

Wingsmasher
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 20,312 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This +1 throwing warhammer is carved from a solid block of granite and features runes of earth and binding.

Any creature with a fly speed that takes damage from wingsmasher must succeed at a DC 17 Fortitude saving throw or be unable to fly or levitate by any means for 1d4 rounds. Additionally, it only covers half the distance and half the vertical height when making Acrobatics checks to jump. If this save is failed while airborne the creature plummets to the ground. Freedom of movement negates this effect.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, gravity well (Dragonslayer's Handbook p.29), magic stone; Cost 10,312gp

Editor's Notes

Spoiler:

I was not that crazy about the name. I don't think "the" should be in front of an item name unless it is unique (like an artifact). Although I'm a big fan of having the item type in the name for wondrous items, weapons are another matter. It is ok, or even preferred, if the name sounds like a nickname that its first wielder gave it. Something like Sting, or Foehammer is just cool. I decided to cut the name down to this sort of name.

Bird bones are very light and brittle, being full of air sacs so I don't picture warhammers being made from them. Since the effects ground flying creatures and dwarves are anti-magic, use warhammers, and are tied to the earth, I made the edit have earth binding effects with a slight dwarven flare. This theme might make it more like the Earthbinder Boots from a previous year, but it just seems to fit better.

One problem I noticed immediately is that this is a weapon that is supposed to ground flying creatures, but it has no way to hit a flying creature as it is in the air. To remedy this I gave it the Throwing weapon special ability. I was tempted to give it the Returning ability too, but refrained.

Abjuration seems to be an odd choice for item that "smashes wings," but I realize you wanted it to dispel magic flying, but it still works on all flying abilities. Even natural ones, and that is weird for dispel magic. This is one of those effects that has no good spells in the core rules to truly represent it in creation requirements. A search in the Archives of Nethys turned up Gravity Well from the Dragon Slayers Handbook. I usually don't like using spells from smaller books that are not in the Paizo online SRD, but nothing else really fits. I used a few parts of the spell to expand a little on the ability. I also did not mention feather fall because it is similar to flying and levitating and I feel it should also be negated. When a Fly spell ends it is a Feather Fall like effect and I don't want any question whether that functions. Gravity Well doesn't exclude it either.

I could not tell if there was a reason why it only lasts for 1d4 rounds other than trying to keep it low powered and low level. It does not have a daily limit so it has to be short a short duration. Obviously, if the target is grounded, this duration can possibly be reset with subsequent hits, but a one round duration may mean an escaped enemy if the next hit misses (you might get a AOO when it leaves). I left this short duration, but was tempted to limit in some other way (daily limit or requiring a crit) and make it 9 rounds (the duration of Gravity Well).

Out of the five items I have edited on this thread so far, I tweaked the mechanics on this one the least and didn't change its function at all. It helps that there was only one simple ability and it was fairly unique. You made the cull, but I'm not sure if either your version or mine is worthy of RPGSS top 32. There is a bit of a lack of mojo. I forgot to review other critiques before editing this item, but it looks like I got most of everyone's concerns. Again, it must be the simplicity.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

The Golux wrote:

Staff of entwined elements

Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 98,550 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
Formed from lengths of ivory, oak, copper, and basalt, braided together by craft and magic, the staff of entwined elements is topped with a crystal orb containing a white continual flame. It functions as a +1 quarterstaff, enhanced only on the orb end, and allows the use of the following spells:

Lightning bolt (1 charge)
Scorching ray (1 charge)
Acid fog (2 charges)
Cone of cold (2 charges)
Elemental assessor (Chronicle of the Righteous)(2 charges)

While a target is under the effect of the staff's elemental assessor, the continual flame on the staff's head changes color based on the element of the ongoing damage (red for fire, yellow for electricity, green for acid, or blue for cold), and attacks with the staff's enhanced end deal an additional 1d6 damage of that type. While this effect is ongoing, the duration can be extended by expending charges from the staff (a swift action) at a rate of one minute per charge.
When casting any spell besides elemental assessor from the staff, an additional charge can be expended to change the spell's descriptor and damage type to any one of fire, electricity, acid, or cold. This does not change the spell's casting time.
In addition to the normal method of recharging a staff, the user can restore one charge per day to this staff by expending one use of an elemental metamagic rod or greater elemental metamagic rod.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Staff, Elemental Spell, acid fog, cone of cold, continual flame, elemental assessor, lightning bolt, scorching ray, the creator must either have the admixture arcane school or have Elemental Spell at least twice; Cost 49,450 gp

Staff of entwined elements (Phloid Edit)

Staff of Discerning Elements
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 78,550 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
Formed from lengths of ivory, oak, copper, and basalt, braided together by craft and magic, the staff of discerning elements is topped with a large crystal orb. It can cast the following spells:

Scorching ray (1 charge)
Lightning bolt (2 charges)
Acid fog (3 charges)
Cone of cold (3 charges)

As a standard action without using a charge, the user may fire a twisting, multicolored ray as a ranged touch attack against a target within 110 feet. If this ray hits, it deals 2 acid, 2 cold, 2 electricity, and 2 fire damage. If the target has vulnerabilities or resistances to these damage types that cause it to take more or less damage, the staff fills its crystal with a swirling mass of the element or elements that harmed the target the most. Looking at the crystal reveals the energies that are most effective against the target, and the next spell cast from the staff divides its damage between these damage types. The user may assign any undivided remainder damage as he sees fit between those damage types. The crystal then becomes clear once more and can be filled again.

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, Elemental Spell for at least two different energy types, acid fog, cone of cold, elemental assessor, lightning bolt, scorching ray, a specialist of the admixture focused arcane school does not require the Elemental Spell feats; Cost 39,450 gp

Editor's Notes

Spoiler:

This one was tough. I think you had a great idea here. I think this is a great staff, but it was a little over done. Too many abilities with it being an energy weapon and recharging with an elemental rod. But I think this is a solid entry that suffered from block of text and an obscure spell on its main ability. If did everything really cool, but probably did too much.

This is an instance where hyperlinking would help all around because there are so many things referenced. The four core spells are well known, but the last one and the magic items, and Feats are more obscure. I hyperlinked my edited version. This is not a requisite for the competition and printed books cannot be hyperlinked (yet), but I would personally suggest using this format to your advantage, especially when using spells and feats outside of the Core Rule Book. As a voter, I am unlikely to look up obscure spell, especially it I don't have the book, and it is not in the Paizo SRD. In this case, it is the key ability of the item. A hyperlink would have really helped. You did give the book for the obscure spell, but if I don't have the book, that doesn't help when the internet is a vast storehouse for knowledge.

I like this item enough that I was considering doing a light edit version that only eliminated the extraneous abilities while keeping the core ability the same and attempting to clean up the language some. That said, for my edit, I wanted to simplify it and decided to remove the obscure spell to just add the key effect of that spell as a special ability in some way. I did leave the spell in the requirements to explain the ability. This also helps to decrease the idea that staves are spells in a can. The Elemental Assessor spell is a really cool spell that is a bit quirky. It is possible that even if a creature has vulnerability to one of the elements, he could less damage with a low roll, than another element with a high roll, and end up taking less damage overall. That's kind of cool, and kind of crappy. I eliminated this chance with the lessor ability. It might be a little weird to eliminate dice rolls from the damage, but it takes away the possibility of high dice verses low dice skewing the results with vulnerabilities. I also tried to find a spell (possibly divination) that checked or could discern a creature's vulnerabilities or resistances, but the only two I found were not wizard spells, so I figured Elemental Assessor was enough.

Some of your item's critiques questioned the spell selection, but I get that they are all elemental spells with a different targeting scheme (Line, Ray, Spread, Cone). This adds versatility to an already versatile item and I think that is great. I checked the charge costs on these spells on other staves and the Staff of Power has Lightning Bolt and Cone of Cold at your costs, but that is the freaking Staff of Power! The spells appear on other staves at the charge cost I changed them to. I acknowledge that charge costs are somewhat related to the cost of the staff, but I'd still rather raise the charge costs than keep them at the same as the 235,000 gp Staff of Power. I considered changing Scorching Ray to Fireball because all the others were area spells instead of individual targets and you don't have a burst effect. Scorching Ray just seems like an outlier somewhat, but unfortunately I could not decide if Fireball or Lightning Bolt was worthy of the 1 charge slot since they are both third level, and every staff has at least one spell that costs a single charge. I might be able to find four area effect spells with elemental damage that provide a better spread of spell level but this would require obscure spells and I'd rather not. My edit does significantly less than your version, but is simpler and maybe a bit easier to understand. I wanted to add something else, but I could not come up with something that makes sense with the ability I gave it.

The recharge ability seemed a little extraneous. I like alternate recharge options on staves, but this seemed a little weird in requiring another magic item. It also seemed maybe a bit to powerful. I know if I had this staff I would do my best to obtain an Elemental Metamagic Rod as soon as I could.

As far as pricing goes, I have no doubt that you priced it out correctly by the math, but I take a more artistic than scientific approach to pricing. My gut says that your price was a bit under what it should be based on its power and versatility. You got all of its abilities in your pricing, but a good deal of power also comes from the combination of powers and the ability to switch between them as the need arises. As far as my edit goes, I increased the power in some ways, but overall, with fewer abilities, I feel I've lowered the overall power a little. I'm only eyeballing the costs of these edits and don't swear by them, but I did decreased your original costs some.

Overall, I really liked this item. I think your biggest problem is it tries to do too much and it's mojo is hidden. Getting just how cool it is takes more thought than one gets in the 60 second vote wait. This was my mistake last year, so I know what it is like. Keep up the good work and I'm sure you will crack the top 32 soon enough.

Star Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8

Thanks a lot for the critique and edit! Actually, there was another reason I had the charge costs low: So that you could more easily elementally assess an enemy and then have charges left to blast them a couple times. Making the assessor ability a lesser, non-charge-based version makes having the spells at higher charge costs more viable.

I strongly considered fireball on the spell list as well, but I actually wanted a single/selective targeting spell in addition to the area effects, and I was trying to balance levels of spells as well (I couldn't find a very iconic 4th-level one, though). I had several other spells as candidates for greater or lesser versions of the staff, which I might have used if there were a lesser elemental assessor spell (or if I had thought of a non-spell ray). Some of the other considered spells, like acid arrow, freezing sphere, and ice storm, presented challenges in exactly how they would work as different elements as well.

The additional recharge mechanic was something I noticed in the ACG; the spark staff and monstrification staff both have alternate ways to regain additional charges, the monstrification staff perhaps excessively so. I figured an additional way to gain charges would make any staff more attractive to actually use, and that was especially important with my staff as written, since it was rather charge-hungry. It seemed like a better choice at the time than another idea I had, of giving charge discounts on the metaelemental effect for a specific element while an enemy was under the effect of elemental assessor. I did specify a normal or greater rod for the recharge though, since that's what it would take to affect the spells the staff can cast.

The continual flame of elemental energy was part of a visual that really grabbed me that I had a lot of trouble putting into words and mechanics. The idea of diagnosing an enemy's weakness, the staff clearly indicating what it was, and then using the staff to beat on them was one of the things I started with. I had a thought earlier today of making a rod that functioned as a mace, could cast elemental assessor 3/day and became flaming/shocking/frost/corrosive based on the results until next time the spell was used with the colored light effect, but that is a little spell-in-a-can-y. It could be used more easily by the kind of character than wants to hit people with an elemental weapon than the staff is, though.

I also considered, many different ways, having the staff function as a general elemental metamagic rod and/or be able use an elemental assessor cast by the wielder instead of just from the spell, but that would be too expensive and probably too versatile.

I am also curious if you, or anyone really, thought much about the symbolism of the materials. There is one each of plant, animal, mineral, and metal origins, and each was associated with an element: Ivory with cold (walrus ivory, not elephant, but I didn't have room to specify), Basalt with fire (since it's solid lava), Copper with acid (partly because it tarnishes and partly because copper dragons use acid; one thing I considered was using gold, silver, copper, and bronze as the materials of good-aligned metallic dragons to tie in with the celestial origin of elemental assessor), and Oak with electricity (A few thunder gods are associated with oak specifically, and trees get struck by lightning often). I bet if they thought about it most people assumed oak and copper were the other way around, but my reason for copper isn't that great anyway when compared to reality...

Sorry for the super long-winded response but I really appreciate your insight and that you appreciated the item a lot better than I think a lot of people did. I was worried that it was too long and if not too bland at least that I didn't get the part that I thought was cool across very well, and I think those were to some extent borne out.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

I see stuff I'd change now that I've had time and distance, bit let's see what you got...

Deadeye's Shepherd:

Deadeye’s Shepherd
Aura moderate transmutation, minor conjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 69,400 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
Naturally curved, thick spiraling ram’s horn forms the limbs of this +2 adaptive composite longbow, creating a recurve and concealing the wheels within the rack. Pictographs of bighorn rams locked in combat are painted along the arrow rest and sight window.

As a full round action, the bow may fire a blunted arrow that performs a Bull Rush maneuver using the archer’s CMB +2 instead of dealing damage. Unless firing while in melee range, this action does not provoke an attack of opportunity; the arrow is otherwise treated as though it was the archer making the combat maneuver.

Once per day the bow can summon a large sized bighorn ram (use the stats of a megaloceros) that willingly serves the archer as though it were a war trained mount. The bighorn ram will remain summoned for 9 hours.
If the wielder has a ring of the ram the ranged bullrush attack deals normal damage and charges can be spent to increase CMB on a Bull Rush by a +1 and deal +1d6 bludgeoning damage when using the deadeye’s shepherd. As a swift action, the wielder may elect to spend a charge from the ring to have the deadeye’s shepherd function as a +2 club of impact for one minute.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bull’s strength, lead blades, mount, righteous might, telekinesis, warp wood; Cost 34,900 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

The Golux wrote:
Actually, there was another reason I had the charge costs low: So that you could more easily elementally assess an enemy and then have charges left to blast them a couple times. Making the assessor ability a lesser, non-charge-based version makes having the spells at higher charge costs more viable.

Sure, but with the added recharge option I think this is a little excessive. Maybe low charge costs, or a recharge mechanic would have been better balanced.

The Golux wrote:
The additional recharge mechanic was something I noticed in the ACG; the spark staff and monstrification staff both have alternate ways to regain additional charges, the monstrification staff perhaps excessively so. I figured an additional way to gain charges would make any staff more attractive to actually use, and that was especially important with my staff as written, since it was rather charge-hungry.

Totally, but the recharge mechanic for this staff was a bit odd IMO. It also was not clear when this could be used and probably should have mentioned it was only usable during spell preparation like the normal recharge staff option. Without a note about that many rules lawyer players would say that they could add a charge at any time. Done adventuring for the day? Add a charge. Need an extra charge for the next encounter? Add a charge mid-day. If you wanted to allow for this, it should have at least mentioned a action type to do so.

The Golux wrote:
The continual flame of elemental energy was part of a visual that really grabbed me that I had a lot of trouble putting into words and mechanics. The idea of diagnosing an enemy's weakness, the staff clearly indicating what it was, and then using the staff to beat on them was one of the things I started with.

Really cool visual, but there was just so much going on in your staff that things got lost. I could definitely see another item being born of this.

The Golux wrote:
I also considered, many different ways, having the staff function as a general elemental metamagic rod and/or be able use an elemental assessor cast by the wielder instead of just from the spell, but that would be too expensive and probably too versatile.

I thought about the elemental metamagic rod, but you don't usually want to subsume another magic item's function directly into a new item so leaving it out was the right choice.

The Golux wrote:
I am also curious if you, or anyone really, thought much about the symbolism of the materials. There is one each of plant, animal, mineral, and metal origins, and each was associated with an element:

Yeah, I totally got that the materials were a reference to the elements, and left them in the edit because of that. I didn't spend a great deal of time pondering which was which, and might have made a change or two had I done so, but this item gave me plenty to think about already. I spent a good portion of yesterday pondering it before posting.

The Golux wrote:
Sorry for the super long-winded response but I really appreciate your insight and that you appreciated the item a lot better than I think a lot of people did. I was worried that it was too long and if not too bland at least that I didn't get the part that I thought was cool across very well, and I think those were to some extent borne out.

Not at all. Your staff was likely my favorite of the items I've edited on this forum thus far. It was really cool and like I said in my notes I almost did it twice to do a more minor change edit. Really cool item!

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Petty Alchemy wrote:

Sightstealer Rapier

Aura moderate necromancy; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 13,120 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This +2 rapier’s cup hilt appears as an open eye, and the blade itself protrudes from the iris.

Once per day when the wielder successfully strikes a target with the rapier, the wielder can activate the rapier as a free action to force the target to attempt a DC 13 Will save. On a failure, the target is blinded and the wielder’s eyes take on the appearance and qualities of the target’s eyes (granting the wielder low-light vision and/or darkvision up to 60 ft. if the target normally possesses these senses).

This effect lasts for 3 hours and cannot be dispelled, though it can be removed from the target by remove blindness-deafness, remove curse, break enchantment, or similar effects. If this effect is removed from the target, it is also removed from the wielder.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, blindness-deafness; Cost 6,720 gp

Sightstealer Rapier (Phloid Edit)

Épée of the Eyethief
Aura moderate divination and necromancy; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 16,120 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
The cup hilt of this +2 rapier is embossed with a large open eye, the blade protruding from its iris.

Once per day as part of a successful melee attack (a free action), the wielder may force the target to succeed at a DC 16 Fortitude saving throw or be blinded for the next 7 hours. This blindness cannot be dispelled, but can be removed by remove blindness/deafness, remove curse, break enchantment, or similar effects. While the target is blinded by this ability, the wielder can close and open his eyes as a swift action to see from the target's eyes instead of his own. He sees what the target would see if it were not blind, with all the target's vision abilities. For the duration of the blindness, the wielder may switch between his own vision and the target's as a swift action. While using the target's vision, the wielder’s eyes look like the target's eyes instead of his own, and his body is effectively blind. A target that is familiar with the épée of the eyethief or learns of its nature, can close his eyes or blindfold himself to prevent the wielder from seeing through the otherwise useless eyes.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Heighten Spell, blindness/deafness, clairaudience/clairvoyance; Cost 8,220 gp

Editor's Notes

Spoiler:
So in reading this one, I just wanted it to do more. The name had me expecting that the wielder would be looking through the target's eyes, but that is not the case. The biggest part of the item's mojo is in its description which is cool. The effects, though useful, are kind of mundane and not especially "cool," mechanically. The ability being once per day with such a weak saving throw is also a bit of a problem. Other than blinding the target, you get nothing unless the target has low-light or darkvision. That just lacks a cool factor and does not make it more than blindness/deafness in a can and some percentage of the time Darkvision in a can or low-light vision. And if the user already has one of these vision abilities, he gets nothing but a blind opponent. One way to offset this is to grant See in Darkness if the user has darkvision already and Dakvision if they already have low-light vision. But does low-light vision grant See in Darkness if the wielder already has darkvision? Or does he get nothing? It would also been cooler if you gained racial bonuses to Perception or other vision abilities that appear in the Perception area in monster stat blocks. I could have used these ideas for a light edit version to make its ability more usable, but I still think it would not quite be superstar.

There were a couple template errors and the saving throw should have been Fortitude.

So I had two ideas to give it some more impact. One was to expound on the description and have the eye be closed with no blade and have the blade extend or materialize when activated and the eye opens. This seemed to possibly go outside the theme you were going with and adding a transmutation or conjuration effect.
The other idea was to actually let the wielder steal the target's vision as the name suggested to me (and I think a judge critique suggested this too).
I went with the latter. I added Heighten Spell to increase the DC, which also increased the caster level so that 4th level spells could be cast. I increased the cost some too. I called the sword an epee since it alliterated with "eyethief" and this style sword usually fits the "cup hilt rapier" description. I considered adding a line that allowed "detect" spells cast by the wielder to be viewed through the target's eyes, but this seemed a little extraneous. Though it would allow for more thorough casing of locations for thief types, they are not as likely to have detect magic and the like. Therefore I passed on that idea.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Petty Alchemy

Appreciate seeing your take. The DC was set by magic item creation rules, and the save type by the spell used. Using Heighten is a good idea though, that I'll definitely have to remember for next time.

After seeing the judge comments, I did consider seeing from the target's square, but assuming you continue to fight the target, isn't it disorienting to stab at yourself? You also won't get to really see anything new, since you were adjacent to them to use the power in the first place (unless they have a special visual sense that you lack). I also don't like that they can just close their eyes to deny you of the "twist" power, especially since I'd assume blind creatures naturally close their eyes to protect them.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Petty Alchemy wrote:

Appreciate seeing your take. The DC was set by magic item creation rules, and the save type by the spell used. Using Heighten is a good idea though, that I'll definitely have to remember for next time.

After seeing the judge comments, I did consider seeing from the target's square, but assuming you continue to fight the target, isn't it disorienting to stab at yourself? You also won't get to really see anything new, since you were adjacent to them to use the power in the first place (unless they have a special visual sense that you lack). I also don't like that they can just close their eyes to deny you of the "twist" power, especially since I'd assume blind creatures naturally close their eyes to protect them.

Your DC was right for the spell, but Blindness/Deafness is a Fort save, not a Will save.

It would be disoriented to continue to fight while looking through an opponent's eyes making your body effectively blind. You wouldn't likely continue to fight while your body was blinded by looking through your opponents eyes, but can use your own eyes as a swift action if you want to continue to fight. My edited item was designed for a stab and let go strategy where the person, unaware of the fact that his vision has been stolen, acts as an unwitting spy. That is why I increased the duration to 7 hours. I almost added Extend Spell to explain this, but the original duration was arbitrary and Blindess/Deafness is permanent so I just limited it to 7 hours based on the Caster Level. I was thinking that your item was intended to let the blind opponent go so you could benefit from darkvision for the next three hours.

You might be right about a newly blind person closing their eye some of the time, but most of the time they would likely be blinking and trying to get their vision back. If they close their eyes, how will they know when their vision comes back? But it is kind of a stretch and open to interpretation. Maybe it should freeze their eyes open somehow, but they could still cover them if they somehow knew that their vision was hijacked. I don't know if there is a way around that and still have the creepy eye switch thing.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Petty Alchemy

You're totally right about the save. I must've internalized Glitterdust.

The catch-and-release thing is interesting...but how is that guy supposed to get back to his base blind?

7 hours is a good call. I also initially nerfed the duration to hour/CL (originally, it was a +1 weapon), but didn't increase it after increasing the CL.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Petty Alchemy wrote:

The catch-and-release thing is interesting...but how is that guy supposed to get back to his base blind?

I don't know. He's got 7 hours to do so. Maybe his allies can help him get back.

Actually, about a month ago I created a piece of magic ammunition that did something very similar to this. It did not blind the target but the shooter could see from his eyes. It is probably better to do it that way, but I wanted to keep with the blindness theme for your item. Perhaps a light edit with the enhanced vision abilities was the way to go. Maybe I'll revisit it when I'm all done, but either way, killing the target is kind of antithetical to the vision stealing effect.


Nickolas Floyd wrote:
Atavar wrote:

ROD OF VERSATILE CHANNELING

Thank you very much! I think your suggested changes have given me ideas that will help me with trying again next year....

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

King Tius wrote:

Staff of the Vineyard

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 16,200 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This wine-stained staff is hewn from the rib of a great oak wine barrel and is covered in bountiful grape vines. The vines produce enough berries to serve as rations for one medium creature per day and they regenerate with the sunrise. When used as the target of a goodberry spell, these grapes heal double the normal amount but do not increase the spell’s maximum amount of hit points cured in a 24-hour period. In addition, the bearer of this staff is immune to the effects of any entangle spell and, by expending an additional charge from the staff, can designate a number of creatures immune to the effects of any entangle spell they cast as per the Selective Spell feat. The staff allows use of the following spells:

Entangle (1 charge)
Goodberry (1 charge)
Shillelagh (1 charge)
Barkskin (2 charges)

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, barkskin, entangle, goodberry, shillelagh; Cost 8,100 gp

Staff of the Vineyard (Phoid Edit)

Staff of the Vineyard
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 24,200 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
Smelling of pungent wine, this five-foot long, gnarly trunk of a grape plant is covered in curly vines, leaves, and green grapes. The grapes serve as rations for one Medium creature per day and they regenerate with the sunrise. The staff allows use of the following spells:

Entangle (1 charge)
Goodberry (1 charge)
Shillelagh (1 charge) (may be cast on the staff for 2 charges)
Plant Growth (2 charges)

When used as the target of a goodberry spell, the staff's grapes turn burgundy and can remove either the fatigued, shaken, or sickened condition of the imbiber, as well as provide the normal effects of the spell. The condition must be selected when the spell is cast and all the grapes in that casting cure the same condition. This effect suppresses the condition for 1 hour, but does not cure an affliction causing the condition.

While shillelagh is cast on the staff it functions as a quarterstaff, and the grapes turn violet. Any successful hit with the staff splatters the target with potent wine that absorbs into the bloodstream. Each successful strike with the staff requires the target to succeed at a DC 12 Fortitude save or gain the sickened condition and suffer 1 temporary damage to Dexterity and Wisdom. Each of these ability scores heal at the rate of one point per hour, and the sickened condition ends when all the ability damage is healed. This is considered a poison effect.

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, entangle, goodberry, plant growth, shillelagh; Cost 12,100 gp

Editor's Notes

Spoiler:
Staves are tough. They are tough to do and they are tough to edit and try to make more superstar. This is a solid item to be sure. Definitely worthy of a book of magic items or a druid or vineyard themed adventure, but perhaps not quite superstar. In reading it I thought that it could use an inebriation ability of some kind and in reading the critiques I'm not the only one. It was pointed out there that the spells are not totally "wine" or "vineyard" themed, but this might be passable since they are all plant based.

Its description is well-written but I have a hard time picturing a staff made out of a rib of a wine barrel. It seems fairly skinny and curved in my mind. I considered creating it out of cork, but settled on the trunk of the grape vine itself. The problem with this is that most people don't realize that grape vines come from a gnarled twisted trunk of substantial wood. Your caster level needs to be at least 11th for Craft Staff.

To edit it, I looked for other spells that might replace or add to the spell selection. I found Plant Growth and also Enhance Water from the Inner Sea Gods and Faiths of Purity. I hate to use spells that cannot be found in the Paizo SRD, but at least Enhance Water appears in two different books. You likely considered Plant Growth and likely passed on it for some reason. It is not the most exciting spell, but it does combo with Entangle. In the end I decided to cut Barkskin because it seemed to be the biggest outlier when I added an ability to Shillelagh to give it a bigger wine theme. I considered doing something similar to Barkskin, but Shillelagh seemed to be more appropriate. I decided to cut the Entangle spell selective ability since it doesn't really work as written and had no real connection to wine other that grapes grow on vines (no reason for wine vines to be selective in who they attack). I replaced it with Plant Growth since it made sense that a vintner druid would want this spell on his staff.

The addition to the grapes when Goodberry was cast was a little mundane with just one extra hit point. Then you have to have the disclaimer that they still can't heal more than 8 hp in a day. So I changed it to have an effect that relieves the conditions that the Paladin's first mercies can relieve. Relieving the sickened condition essentially cures drunkenness based on the rules in the Game Mastery Guide, so the imbiber can go right on drinking. Relieving the shakened condition is essentially liquid courage. And though wine puts me to sleep, grapes are a great source of energy and both wine and grapes have a number of health benefits. I think this is a better fit than 1 extra hp per grape.

In looking for a drunken take, I considered Hideous Laughter or Irresistible Dance, but those would not work as staff spells for this staff because they are not druid spells. Something unique based on them? Probably not. One of the critiques suggested throwing grapes or berries to make targets drunk. I decided to see where this took things and decided that I could turn Shillelagh into a delivery system. I'm not impressed with the drunkenness rules in the Game Mastery Guide (apply the sickened condition after 1 plus Con Modifier drinks). I've seen other D20 system alcohol rules I've liked better. Based on my memory of those I wrote my own rules for this ability (actually combined the two). It's an ok ability that does an adequate job of representing drunkenness. The save is really low here, but with every strike I think that is ok.

I didn't reprice the staff based on its new spells and abilities, but eyeballed it compared to other staves. It is still not a super powerful staff, but I may have increased its power some with the Shillelagh ability and the new Goodberry effects.

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