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We Be Goblins! (Inactive)

Game Master FuriousPhil

Pathfinder module designed for 4 1st-level goblin characters.

"We need strong, smart goblins to get fireworks! Find me bestest goblins of Licktoad tribe, bring before ME, Gutwad! Bring to teeter chair room, have an important mission! Go now! Gutwad hungry now, bring some meat too!

-His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad, overheard speaking to Slorb

I'd like to run the We Be Goblins! module with the intention of transitioning into running a Jade Regent play-by-post. I like the way this one-shot ties into that adventure path, and I'd like to give some of you a shot at playing who otherwise can't get a group or haven't played in an online game before. If this goes well, players who roleplay well will be on the short list for inclusion in the Jade Regent play-by-post I'm hoping to do in the near future.

I'd like to emphasize role-playing and creative descriptions over mechanics, but I'll be keeping everything pretty close to the book as well. The most important thing is that everybody has some fun with this, and playing online removes the barrier from feeling foolish by acting like a goblin in public!

Character Creation: You can either use the pre-generated characters included in the We Be Goblins! module (available as a free download from Paizo), create your own using the rules on p. 156 of the Bestiary, and/or use material from the Goblins of Golarion player companion. Be aware that I don't have a copy of that at the moment, but will pick one up if you want to use stuff from that book. Created characters will be subject to approval or modification by the GM.

If you do want to create your own little evil goblin, you are required to write a simple four line "goblin battle chant" (see the sample characters for examples) and a descriptive blurb detailing physical appearance, etc. Also, just use your best judgment when creating a character - this is a light and fun module, so don't worry so much about optimization and min maxing. It really isn't necessary in this module.

Posting: Try to post at least once within a 24 hour period. The more frequent the posts, the better the game flows, IMO. I'm also not going to be too stringent about spoilers, if you have the module for the pre-gen characters or traits, you'll probably have a good idea of what happens in it anyways. Just remember - your poor goblin characters may not have such prescience!

Maps/Visual Aids: I'm going to rely mostly on narrative text, and forgo the use of a combat grid/visual aids for this adventure, unless it proves difficult, in which case I'll provide some rudimentary sketches to give you an idea of where you're at.

Go ahead and post the details here if you have a character you'd like to play. If you'd just like to use a pre-generated character, feel free to embellish some other details as well.

I'll pick four players who I deem the most worthy - I mean, I'll pretty much be picking at random by throwing some dice around on my desk! Recruitment ends February 26. Good luck!

Will the goblins be participating in the Jade Regent game? I think that would be quite interesting.

Kinda late for me so I will come with a fun concept tomorrow.

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, PFS RPG Subscriber

I've never had the pleasure of playing this adventure before. I did read it and remember that I Really liked the pregen alchemist that was included. If picked, I'd love to give that character a whirl. I'm in a few games on the site, and always post regularly.

I'll roll up a goblin within the next day or so...I'm hoping to come up with something fairly odd.


I'm new to pbp and interested in playing, I'll get a goblin put together by tomorrow.

Grand Lodge

Never played PBP, how does it work?? How does character gen work for this module??

Mukluk Ronkunk hates the big people. He hates them so much that he's learned how to make them fight fair. Learning is notable for a goblin—but when you've got as big a head as he does (Balloon-Headed trait), and a brain to fill it, sometimes learning happens. He's a little shorter than your average goblin, standing at about 2'7" (exaggerating the size of his head), but not exactly scrawny. Skin the color of the algae in the sea, he's gird in a haphazardly stitched-together chain shirt which looks like he stole it from someone much larger. He wields a flail suitable for his size, probably also stolen from a halfling or gnome.

Me Mukluk! Me smart goblin. Maybe smartest goblin! Me fight lots of big people. But they too... big! Goblins right size, big hew-mons and elves too big. Can't hit them where it hurts! What goblin do? Trip big hew-mons and elves! Trip them and take their stuff! Yeah! Mukluk makes hew-mons and elves and maybe others but he can't keep track because he bad at... what was Mukluk saying? Doh! Mukluk makes big people fall down go boom, takes their weapons! Then Mukluk hit them where it counts! Mukluk smartest goblin!

Pyewnee hew-mon, hear Mukluk warsong!

You big people too tall!
I run round, make you fall!
You know you meet your doom
When you fall and make boom!

Yeah, he's a tripper—specifically I'm thinking of Fighter with feats like Improved Trip and Agile Maneuvers, so once he gains a level he'll be doing trip attacks using his DEX instead of his meager STR. And I think a goblin who knows to do this is pretty bright, which is reasonable for the INT 13 requirement for Combat Expertise. I also want the Goblin Foolhardiness trait from Goblins of Golarion. I'm not specifically trying to build a powerful character here, but I think this is one way a smart (but not exactly wise, because of the foolhardiness) goblin would fight big people. I'll get the crunch up as soon as the caffeine does its job. Though I would like to know how to generate stats, as that wasn't specified in the original post.

If this character concept isn't cool, I'm also thinking of a Druid with a toad animal companion who's just a little bit too fond of licking said toad. Whether that becomes an addiction is up to the GM.


LN Goblin Monk 1
Small Humanoid (Goblin)
Init +4; Senses: Perception + 3 , Darkvision


AC 18 touch 18, flat footed 14
hp 9 (1d8+1)
Fort +2, Ref + 6, Will +5


Speed: 30 feet
Melee: Unarmed Strike +2 (1d4+1. 20x2) or Flurry of Blows +1/+1 (1d4+1 20x2)
Ranged: Shuriken +4 (1+1) or Flurry of Blows +3/+3 (1+1 20x2)
Special Attacks: Flurry of Blows, Stunning Fist


STR: 12 (+1)
DEX: 18 (+4)
CON: 10 (+0)
INT: 10 (+0)
WIS: 16 (+3)
CHA: 8 (-1)

Base ATK +0; CMB +0; CMD 14
Feats: Improved Unarmed Strike, Combat Reflexes, Stunning Fist, Skill Focus: Acrobatics
Skills: Acrobatics +10 , Climb +4, Escape Artist +7, Ride +8, Stealth +11,
Languages: Goblin
Gear: Monk’s Outfit, Shuriken (20), Tanglefoot Bag (2), Backpack, belt pouch, hemp rope (50ft), Waterskin, Rations (10), Flint & Steel, Torches (6)

Tch'tch is a quiet fellow; but on the few occasions he does speak he typically utters an idiom or phrase of some sort that makes him look either insightful or demented. Occasionally both. For example when asked "You hungry?" he will respond "Soul eats what body cooks."

Battle Chant:

Tch'tch blows like wind.
Tch'tch leaves like tree.
Tch'tch fast like snake.
Tch'tch bites like flea.

I assume that we don't need a full-out character sheet right now, but the plan is an alchemist with lots of explody.

It's hard to keep track of everything when writing steals your soul, so Mixly (Mix for short) only remembers how to blow things up. Mix sometimes invents something cool, but it's only used once before it's forgotten. Maybe that's why she's still stuck at level 1. Only, she doesn't really talk to other goblins. Why would she, since she's just so much more interesting than any of them. They only remember that she exists because once in a while, an explosion or fire goes off from her "house."

Mix like to tumble, Mix like to throw,
Bombs that go rumble, Flames that go grow!
Flames that go spreading, up through the trees
Flames coming nearer, now time to flee!

Explody is fun! But don't make Mukluk explody! Mukluk no like explody if it's Mukluk explody!

"Nibble nibble on your ear,"
"I say stuff you not want to hear."
"Cold and sharp, hot and blunt,"
"I make magic that make you grunt"
"DIE DIE DIE! I shout,"
"as I magic away your life and pout!"

Introducing Lib "scared-of-mice" Coalwalker, female goblin sorcerer (Accursed bloodline).

She's mean, she's scary but also not as brave as she pretends to be. Stats coming up later.

Worry? No. I cans aim. Looks here! Step with other foot and... A nearby tree goes up in flames. Well, you small and tree big. It won't hit you.

No, you no worry. I sure everything okay. Mixly very sure.

Scarab Sages

In the mucky marsh beware
Of goblins you are finding there
They tweak your nose and pull your hair
Then cut you up for roasting!

If goblins you be looking for
Then think again and think some more
They sneak up when the light is poor
And start a fire for toasting!

So longshanks to your houses flee
And leave this mucky marsh to me
For goblin I will always be
And goblins fun is mosting!

Ekklub is an unusual goblin in many ways, in particular in having a rather greater grasp of words than others. She is careful never to let any of them near paper, because if anyone could use words then she wouldn't be as special any more. She has her doubts about souls being stealable through paper, but what she would really - really - like to do is capture some feeble humans and make them write, to see what happens to their souls. There's bound to be some way to find out...

Level 1 Goblin Witch, with the Evil Eye hex and a rat familiar.

Nice characters so far! You guys are certainly going to make this tough to choose...

Anyways, I backfigured ability scores from the pre-generated characters, and they all use an array of 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8 before racial modifiers. Goblins have a racial adjustment of -2 Str, +4 Dex and -2 Cha. Pick a class like you normally would for a PC, and go ahead and use the array for selecting your ability scores. As far as equipment goes - well, goblins are scavengers, so whatever crazy junk you can come up with and whatever weapons, armor and other equipment you want - as long as it isn't worth more than - let's say 70% of the average starting gold for your class (see p. 140 Core Rulebook). This is just a guideline, if you want something specific that puts you a bit over that, just let me know before we start the game, and we'll work something out.

To those of you who are unfamiliar with play by post, or haven't played in one before, take a look at some of the games going on in the message boards currently to get an idea of how to format things, and how they're run. Everybody does it a little differently, but I tend to follow the same format as most.

Again, nice work on those battle chants - this is exactly what I'm looking for!

Crunch crunched. Hurt goblin teeth, though.

You learn more about Mukluk here! Mukluk smartest goblin!

+1 on inviting new players!

This is a fun little adventure, with lots of chances at silliness and glory. My PbP group had such a good time with it, we kept playing and they're 6th level now. Even though they're surprisingly competent, they're still as goofy as goblins tend to be.

I'll leave you alone, now. Enjoy!

questions like what other books will you allow or gold level/ability score production come to mind

Ability score production seems to be elite array.

Scarab Sages


Despite Ekklub's best attempts to stop me, I made a character sheet. Look, it's here, and it's even all written down!

New to the boards, not so new to the PbP setup. But I'd love to throw down goblin style. Color me interested.

Ooh Lib not like array! Goblin magic hurt by stigma, me pretty!

Mukluk like a ray! It make him fast and smart and strong! Mukluk love a ray long time!

"Goblins love? No. Goblins hate. Maybe Mukluk hate array less."

Presenting... Nergul Thumbsplitter! Clan guide and all around wilderness affectionato.

Nergul Thumbsplitter
Male goblin Ranger (guide) 1
NE Small humanoid (goblinoid)
Init +4; Senses darkvision 60ft; Percep +5

AC 19, touch 15, flat-footed 15 (+4 armor, +4 Dex, +1 size)
hp 12 (1d10+2)
Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +1

Speed 30ft
Melee: dogslicer +6 (1d4+1/19-20)
Ranged: sling +6 (1d4+1/ 20)
Special Attacks: Rangers Favor

Str 12, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 9
Base Atk +1; CMB +0; CMD 14
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Trait: Color Thief
Skills: Climb -1, Handle Animal +3, Knowledge (geography) +4, Knowledge (nature) +4, Perception +5, Ride +6, Stealth +16, Survival +5, Swim -1
Languages: goblin
SQ: track, animal empathy
Combat Gear: potion of cure light wounds, potion of jump
Other Gear: dogslicer, chain shirt, sling with 20 marbles in a pocket, wolf bladder waterskin, dogskin cloak, pouch full of grub worms

Nergul make you split and spill,
All your guts and bloody swill,
Nergul make you blind and dumb,
Eat your fingers and wear your thumbs!

Nergul is a rather imposing goblin... for a goblin. Standing a head taller than most other goblins, Nergul takes pride in his height disposition. Covered in shaggy and rotting animal furs, his penchance for the wilderness is displayed clearly by the dirt he wears. Covered in dried muck and prickly burs, Nergul always seems to be fresh out of the woods. Missing a chuck of his left ear, he can always be found off by himself pawing at flees. His oddest feature however, is his skin's strange pigment. Whatever he happens to be standing by, his skin seems to pick up the object's hues. Browns, greys, or greens, Nergul always seems to be slightly changing colors, just like a chameleon.

ThunderingDawn wrote:

Presenting... Nergul Thumbsplitter! Clan guide and all around wilderness affectionato.

** spoiler omitted **...


effecttomato what?

Maybe not safe to ask? He tall and you not.

Mukluk not scared of big people, or big goblins! What is effect tomato? It like licktoad?

Update: I now have a hard copy of Goblins of Golarion and am familiarizing my self with the content therein.

I'm going to keep the recruitment open until the 26th, as per my original post. I'll post a list of selected players and sending PMs to those who were selected. Again, this is getting very, very tough to choose, so I might consider expanding the group to 5-6, if I have time to adjust the encounters accordingly, which is a big maybe depending on how much time I have. We'll immediately start the adventure on the 27th in the evening (EST). Again, I'll contact you directly with details.

If you don't make the cut this time around, I'll keep you in mind for another adventure (I'm currently in a PbP for Crypt of the Everflame, a 1st level adventure, and may run that in a future PbP when we conclude).

Also, really liking the RP and characters I'm seeing so far.

Should we stat up or can we wait until the cut is made?

Jen the GM wrote:
Should we stat up or can we wait until the cut is made?

It's up to you. I'm not requiring a full stat line, just a character concept, the war chant, and a brief description will suffice for now.

Henry Lockwood wrote:


Despite Ekklub's best attempts to stop me, I made a character sheet. Look, it's here, and it's even all written down!

I need to log in to view this. That means I need to register. That's a lot of effort for someone to view a character sheet. In my not so humble opinion, you should be making it easier for your GM, not harder. Consider myth-weavers if you want something online.

Scarab Sages

Mukluk Ronkunk wrote:
Henry Lockwood wrote:


Despite Ekklub's best attempts to stop me, I made a character sheet. Look, it's here, and it's even all written down!

I need to log in to view this. That means I need to register. That's a lot of effort for someone to view a character sheet. In my not so humble opinion, you should be making it easier for your GM, not harder. Consider myth-weavers if you want something online.

Ekklub is extra stealthy mysterious goblin. Ekklub stab GM when back is turned.

In a more serious vein: thanks for the tip; I hadn't realised it needed a login! I'll port the sheet across.

Background and appearance can be found in Lib's profile.

A goblin Sorcerer with a charismascore of 13 will be fun to play. Spell-selection will be in theme with her background. Can we use cantrips from this blogpost?

If so, spelllist will be something like this:
0: Jolt, Ghost Sound, Drench, Acid Splash
1: Grease, Reduce Person

Will look into GoG for fun spells to use.

"Lib learning fire magic first!"

Oops, no fire magic in that list! Will insert Burning Hands or the like.

Scarab Sages

Lib "Scared-of-Mice" Coalwalker wrote:

"Lib learning fire magic first!"

Oops, no fire magic in that list! Will insert Burning Hands or the like.

"Ekklub already know fire magic. Set things on fire. See? Spark!"

Also there's a nice MythWeavers sheet here

"Me am thinking Nergul will be needing da fireproofing!"

Dark Archive

OK, so I'm totally interested but I'd like to see if I get into GM Wulfson's Jade Regent. If I do, a spot here should definitely go to someone who'd maybe continue on into that AP. But because it was awesome and fun to come up with, I did make a song for Snorg Bigknife, Anti-Paladin of Monster Mother.

Monster Mother getz in ur hed
But Snorg Bigknife makes you ded
I get Monster Motherz warm embrace
You get me, eatin' ur face!

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, PFS RPG Subscriber

DM, not that it would make much of a difference, but I'll withdraw from consideration. Everyone else has done so much better. The chants everyone has thought up are cracking me up over here, lol.

Rogaz chops at horses feet,
Every kill a yummy treat.
When the drums start to beat,
Then its time to roast the meat!

Rogaz is an angry Goblin, thinks he has been touched by Zarongel and should be a mighty hero. He claims to have killed a giant horse with his horsechopper, in reality it was a sick pony.

Dark Archive

I didn't get into the other Jade Regent game, so I'm going to focus over here. Snorg Bigknife gets a rush from being bad. When he kicks a puppy or farts in a crowded room he feels great. Like tingles and glee explode in his brain.

Snorg has given his life to Monster Mother, goddess of madness, monsters, and nightmares. He sleeps as much as he can so he can touch his goddess with a nightmare. He takes INSANE risks when he bothers to be awake to prove his madness. And he's been promised his very own monster. If he can survive that long.


Snorg is about as "muscled" as a goblin gets but is laughably weak compared to most adventurers. Still his (comparatively) broad shoulders and (silly) thick arms would get him quite a lot of attention of he wasn't such a douche. Seriously. He's hard to like. He's mean, even for a goblin. And he takes such joy from his cruelty. Even when his cruelty is dumb.


So the array thing is going to screw him but he's doing two handed weapon, probably falchion since it's Monster Mother's favored weapon.

This idea is for an Anti-paladin but would work equally well for a cleric if the group needs a primary healer.

Any feedback?

OK, so I didn't say exactly when I was going to cut off recruitment other than the date, so I'm going to go ahead and do it now.

Well, I've given this some thought, and eventually wound up sort of putting names in a hat more or less. Should be an interesting party!


Ekklub - female goblin witch 1 NE
Mukluk Ronkunk - male goblin fighter 1 CE
Nergul Thumbsplitter - male goblin ranger (guide) 1 NE
Mixly - female goblin alchemist 1 CE

Alternates: (in case any of these players have to drop)
In the event that someone isn't able to post 1/day, or a player has to drop out of the game, I'll bring one of you guys in.

Lib "Scared-of-Mice" Coalwalker
Snorg Bigknife

I'm going to skip sending PMs and just go right to the discussion thread. Give me some time to get the info together, and we can get started tomorrow night.

Scarab Sages

Regarding 1/day - I can manage that weekdays; weekends are a little more tight and I can usually only promise 1/weekend. If that will be a problem, please bring in one of the alternates instead!

It looks like we need to replace Mixly, I haven't heard from her in more than a week. If any of you on the alternate list are interested, please PM me ASAP so I can work you into the game.

Dark Archive

I'm still around.

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