I am not sure what it is, I suspect it's because we started playing Pathfinder remotely (on a website now) with the pandemic, but anymore I find playing the game a chore. I am contemplating quitting. And please understand this is something to do with me... the GM is doing a great job and the other players seem to be having fun. So it's not them.
I think the reason for this is even though I've never been a good player, at least in between turns I could socialize a little or pick the brains of my fellow players about my next move (they are very helpful). Now, I have a turn and it's 20 minutes of silence before my next turn. I get bored--what made the game fun for me is gone (interacting with the people in the group). But maybe if I could be a better and more valuable part of the party, I would enjoy things more. It's worth a shot.
Like I said, part of the problem is I am just not a good player and I no longer can lean over and ask someone who knows the rules better if my idea will work the way I think. I wish I had more free time to dedicate to learning all the rules better, but it's just not a luxury I have (busy job with long hours, single parent, dealing with a mother with health issues, etc). And to top it off, I am playing a spell caster. Which is even more complicated because of all the spells and the rules around those. But the group needed one, so I made storm druid. I really wish I was playing something simpler... I was for a while, but my bard died a fee months ago. Things really went downhill for me since then when I think about it.
So any advice and tips on shortcuts I can use to better my play would be helpful. I've made index cards of some of my spells, but there are just so many that it's more impractical to use the cards than to just use the web to look up the spells. I end up trying to flip though pages and look up spells and skills for things I want to do, think I got it, only to find out I am wrong. Or worse, the battlefield changed and now I need a new plan. The spells usually don't do what I think they will do (usually I over estimate how good they will be) and I feel like it frustrates the GM and the other players. I know I feel frustrated myself because I feel like I am bogging things down for everyone.
I enjoy role playing. In the past, what I lacked in game mechanics knowledge, I could usually make up for with RP and being clever about things. I tried to make my character more interesting by making her mood tied to the weather (she calm and happy in clam, sunny weather and chaotic and almost mad in stormy weather). And I thought it would be funny if I have a lover in every port--usually caused by being there during a stormy day and acting irresponsibly. I even had the character "fall in love" with a doll during a bad storm and the doll ended up being cursed. But I think the online way we play doesn't lend itself well to RP because it just seems so inconsequential. And I seem to have lost my way of being clever with NPCs to change the outcome of things. I think the GM tries, but it falls flat with the other players and they don't pick up on it like they would when we played in person. Maybe if I can think of a better way to RP online, that would being some spice back in to the game for me.
Please, help me think of ways to hang in there. Hopefully this online playing will only be a short time more (a lot of the people in my group are high risk, so playing in person isn't really an option just yet). But I am at my breaking point. For months, the game has felt more like a chore than something fun to do. I've been pushing myself because I know it means a lot to my friends and I have hopes of playing in person again soon.
Thanks!
Edit to add, we are playing Skull and Shackles (if that helps with ideas).
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I could have written your first paragraph myself, so I think it’s common with the move to online play. Just as a couple of things that have helped me:
Speak to the GM offline and explain the issues. If a combat round is taking 20 minutes maybe the other players are also struggling to stay involved. Maybe the group taking a break to play something less number-crunchy as a one-off might help.
If you are struggling with the spells, play the character as if they were a spontaneous caster for a bit. By which I mean pick 2-3 spells at each level that you are comfortable with and only prepare those. Rather than panicking about having the perfect spell you can then say ‘of my six options, which one do I use here?’ until you are confident with those ones, then add another to your repertoire.
Encourage people to add a little time at the start and end of sessions to have a bit of a chat. It’s really easy when playing online to just disconnect the moment the game is over, but adding a few minutes to wrap up and catch up makes for a better transition.
Sysryke covered a lot already, so just to emphasize a few things:
You had fun playing a bard, and you don't enjoy playing a druid. So the solution seems obvious: Create a new bard. It might result in an odd party composition or some other minor issue, but that's still way better than a frustrated player who finally leaves the campaign.
When you ask for more RP, present the request as a wish. "I'd like" puts little pressure on the other side, and maybe some other players will actually be happy with you bringing it up. Showing interest in the other person's PC seems to be the best way to make them engaged in RP. A "What do you think?" can go a long way. Don't expect miracles, though, players need a while to get used to do RP, especially with the limits of online play.
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If your platform allows private messaging on the side of the main discussion, or just exchange actual phone numbers and text/call/facetime, you can still sidebar about rules and spells just as you would lean over at the table. A platform with video capabilities may help you get more involved and back to roleplaying, as well.
But beyond all else, play something you enjoy, man. Sorry if that specific pronoun isn't correct, I call by daughters by male pronouns all the time because it's 2021 and I just don't give a $#!+ anymore. It's all the same, or it's not, and I'm a gigantic @$$hole... either way, pronouns are not something I am willing to entrench and fight over... that is a hill I am not willing to die on. The important thing to take away from that is playing what you enjoy.
Switch back to a Bard, or something that plays more similar. Don't force yourself into a specific class to fill some imaginary role that isn't actually required in the first place. Play what you find fun. Play what you know. Play what you want. Don't play some BS class you aren't comfortable with just because you feel obligated to fill some hole in the party...
Let the party have holes. Maybe not having a 9th level caster will force more creative solutions that require more roleplaying and interaction between party members... two birds with one stone... now you are playing what you enjoy and the party is interacting more.
Thanks for the suggestions. There are some great ideas in here. I will think about all of them and see if I can adjust things in a way that works for me. I will leave creating a new character as one of the last options. I have some fun ideas for my druid, but the RP just isn't there yet.
I will keep re-reading the comments here and think about things.
You are all very helpful, thank you so much!
@OP
I've seen others get reinvigorated with Pathfinder by playing a concept character. So, as an exercise, if you could be any character from any book, movie, video game, anime, anything w/e, who would it be?
Thanks again! I did base this new character off a combination of two historical pirates (I got the idea from watching a documentary series on pirates). I like the character concept, I just find the druid a bit cumbersome with all the spells and spell rules. I might try to give this character more of a chance and, like another poster suggested, treat her more like a spontaneous caster by focusing on just a few spells. That might help.
As far as who I would want to play... Q from Star Trek, haha. I guess that means I want to be a GM. but for a more reasonable character to play, I kind of like Lagertha from the TV series Vikings. She's more fantastical than I am, but I see some of my life in her fictional one and I empathize with her a lot. I also really like Bella Lind from the novel, Pushing Ice. Although if I think about it, my character from my last campaign was a lot like Bella... in fact, at the very end of the campaign, she voluntarily sacrificed herself for the good of the party and an entire kingdom that she was ruler of (it was a good way for the character to die).
If your character mechanically isn't meshing with you, I'd recommend asking your GM if you can rebuild as another class. As for getting your group to RP more...I suggest prompting your fellow party members for responses. Call votes to make decisions and ask in character what other characters think. In general, prompting roleplay from others is often good roleplay etiquette since people aren't always comfortable taking the stage, speaking up or maybe they aren't good at realizing when they should jump in, but if you prompt them they tend to be more active.
"Hey Claude...are you doing alright? What these cultists did to the church of your goddess is...horrific."
Okay, Q as a playable character would be impossible, he's basically a god or demigod with lots of 9th lvl spell slots for Wish. And I'm not familiar with Bella Lind.
So let's consider Lagertha as a concept character for you? She's basically a shield maiden who is also proficient with a bow, but also a ruthless assassin when she needs to be. You wouldn't be wrong to build her as a Fighter, but I would probably call her a Slayer for the Studied Target + SnA (I would consider her attacks on Aslaug, Knut, Kalf, and Sigvard as SnA). And because she's not a tracker, but is rather an accomplished archer, I'd give her the Sniper Archetype to trade out tracking for some archery prowess. Then we could build her as a TWF Shield + Sword/Axe user with maybe 1 or 2 feats in bow, like Precise Shot and Point Blank Shot.
Wanna do something like that?
Ryze, yeah, I know Q is impossible. But it was the first thing that came to mind. haha.
I like the idea you came up with for a character, it's funny because my bard (that died in this campaign and who was replaced by the druid) was built fairly similar as far as feats go. I really liked that character and still am a bit sad that she died. It was hopeless though. We were at a party and the rest of the PCs started a fight by attacking the host of the party... the problem was I was surrounded by the host's friends and wasn't ready to fight since we were in the middle of a party. They cut my character to ribbons in two rounds. She tried to escape in the first round while trying to talk her way into not being killed (pleading she didn't start the fight), but she was dead by the second round.
MellowCalico, Skull and Shackles typically ends around lvl 14, so let's figure out a Human Slayer TWF Shield Maiden up to lvl 14 for you?
Not sure what your Point buy is, but I'm going to assume a 20 pt buy for this.
Human Slayer (Sniper Archetype)
17 Str <--- put +1 Ability Score from level 8 here
17 Dex (15 + 2 Racial) <--- put +1 Ability Score from level 4 and 12 here
10 Con
8 Int
10 Wis
12 Cha
Use your Human Slayer FCB to get 1/6 of Slayer Talent for an Extra Slayer Talent at levels 6 and 12.
Traits: Anything you want
Feats:
Lvl1: Feat: Power Attack, Human Bonus Feat: Improved Shield Bash
Lvl2: Slayer Talent: Ranger Combat Style (Two-Weapon Fighting)
Lvl3: Feat: Throw Anything
Lvl4: Rogue Talent: Weapon Training (Weapon Focus: Longsword), +1 Dex
Lvl5: Feat: Catch Off-Guard
Lvl6: Slayer Talent: Ranger Combat Style (Improved Two-Weapon Fighting), FCB 6/6 Extra Slayer Talent: Cornugon Smash (get a +1 Cruel Enchant on your Shield or Longsword by this level)
Lvl7: Feat: Equipment Trick (Shield)
The prerequisites for each Shield Trick is in parenthesis:
Break Ground (Improved Trip, Throw Anything): In place of a melee attack, you can throw your shield at an opponent’s feet, interfering with his movement and perhaps tripping him. You must be holding (not wearing) your shield or using a throwing shield to use this trick. Make a trip attack against your opponent. The opponent can be no larger than your own size category, and the range penalty applies to your trip attempt. If you succeed, the target is knocked prone. Failing this attempt does not knock you prone unless you are within your opponent’s reach. Whether or not you succeed, as long as your shield remains where you threw it, the opponent treats that square as difficult terrain until he moves out of the square.
Hurl Shield (Throw Anything): You can throw your shield as a ranged improvised weapon. You must be holding (not wearing) your shield to perform this trick. If you are using a throwing shield, there is no reason to use this trick.
Little Wall (Escape Artist 5 ranks): You can contort your body behind your shield in order to gain a brief moment of security. Whenever you use the total defense action, you may choose to gain cover instead of the normal dodge bonus to AC.
Keen Eye (Perception 5 ranks): You have mastered the art of using the reflective surface of your shield to locate foes that you dare not look at directly. On your turn, you may choose to forfeit your shield’s AC bonus for 1 round to improve your defenses against one creature using a gaze attack. Your chance to avoid having to make a saving throw against that creature’s gaze attack increases to 100%, and the creature does not gain concealment against you. For every 5 ranks in Perception you have above 5, you may simultaneously use this ability against another creature with a gaze attack.
Release Shield (no prerequisites): You may remove a light or heavy shield as a swift action instead of a move action. You may remove a throwing shield as a free action. Once you’ve removed the shield, you may hold it in one hand or drop it as a free action.
Ricochet Shield (Deadly Aim, Throw Anything): When you throw a shield, you can bounce it off one or more hard surfaces in order to strike a target from an unexpected angle or to bypass an obstacle such as cover. Each object you ricochet your shield off of imposes a –2 penalty on the attack roll. Range increments apply for the total distance the shield travels, not just the direct distance between you and the target.
Shield Gag (Improved Grapple, Throw Anything): You can force your shield into the mouth of a creature to prevent it from using bite attacks or other mouth-based abilities. Make a grapple check against a creature at least two sizes larger than your size category. If you succeed, you wedge your shield into its mouth. At any time you may release your shield, which means you both lose the grappled condition and return to your own squares, though your shield remains in its mouth. The creature may remove the shield by destroying it (or leaving it with the broken condition), forcing the shield out of its mouth with a grapple check against your CMB, or swallowing it (if it has the swallow whole ability) as if the shield were a creature. While the shield is in place, the monster cannot use its mouth to make attacks (such as a bite or a giant frog’s sticky tongue) against anything but the shield and cannot speak clearly enough to cast spells or use items requiring speech. If it uses a breath weapon, its range is half normal and any damage dealt must first get through the shield, with any remaining damage affecting the area normally.
======================================
Lvl8: Rogue Talent: Combat Trick (Improved Trip), +1 Str
Lvl9: Feat: Deadly Aim - OR - Improved Grapple
Lvl10: Slayer Advanced Talent: Assassinate
Lvl11: Feat: Deadly Aim - OR - Improved Grapple (whichever you didn't get at lvl 9)
Lvl12: Slayer Advanced Talent: Ranger Combat Style (Greater Two-Weapon Fighting), 6/6 Extra Slayer Talent: Advanded Rogue's Talent (Hunter's Surprise), +1 Dex
Lvl13: Feat: Dazzling Display
Lvl14: Slayer Advanced Talent: Feat (Shatter Defenses)
If you want to get Dazzling Display/Shatter Defenses earlier than lvl 13/14 (maybe trade out the Improved Trip, Improved Grapple, and/or Deadly Aim feats), that's fine, but you don't absolutely *need* them until these levels. But these two feats are extremely important for landing your Iterative attacks because you Shaken with your first attack, Shatter/Sicken with your second attack, and then they're considered Flat-footed to all your subsequent attacks, and lvl 13+ you will benefit greatly from having them because your accuracy gets much better. So if you find that your Iterative attacks are having a hard time hitting at lvls 8, 9, or 11, then consider swapping these out and getting Dazzling Display/Shatter Defenses earlier.
I think this is pretty Lagertha-y, what do you think?