Have you ever tried to recruit newcomers to the hobby? Did you manage to create a lifelong gamer, or was it more of a “try it once and never again” sort of thing? And more generally, what makes the difference? Is it always down to the person's personality, or is there something the GM can do to help "make it stick?"
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First, I prop up a large box with a stick that has a string tied to it.
Then, I run the loose end of the string around the nearest corner.
After that is done, I place candies on the ground in an evenly spaced trail, leading to a pile under the box.
I use a great app, made by the Grinder and Tinder folks... Pathfinder. You search avail gamers in your area, swiping left or right based on the books they're holding in their pics. If you swipe them and they swipe back, you start texting and one thing leads to another... and then you might meet up in person or facetime/zoom them for a late night game.
Is this real?
I don't know why I am asking here and not on Google...
Drats. We can always hope.
Quite a few of my current players were found on Meet-up(?)... my roommate at the time got tired of me talking about Pathfinder and posted a possible campaign. They responded and here we are two years later.
So, I guess: Share your "geek" side with others, tell the stories of your adventures, invite people to try it out
One of my longtime gaming buddies still tells her coworkers that she does a "potluck" with her friends every other week. She started in the early 90s, and the aftereffects of cultural stigma (satanic panic, etc.) are very real. It always saddens me a little that she doesn't feel like she can share her hobby with other folks for fear of being judged.
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I've introduced multiple new players to the game, and in almost every instance they've continued to play for at least a year. I do have players drift away due to work, kids, life, etc. I've also had players leave and then return years later. I've got a player now who's been in every group I've run since the late 90s, when he was new to the game. Almost all the "new" people over the years were co-workers or introduced by current players. Co-workers hear me mention game night and ask about it, or I had one coworker who always tried to embarrass me by asking in front of other coworkers about my D&D Game but I'd go into great detail about the most recent game night...it always backfired on him because he ended up annoyed and I got a player or two out of hearing me talk about it. :-) The few times my group has started to dwindle I've had to put out a call to all my former players (going all the way back to our college game's start in 1990), but I have always gotten enough interest to launch a new campaign. I also used the FantasyGrounds forums back in the early 2000s when my numbers dropped off and we had started using FG, but I had mixed results with the players we got from there. I don't have a problem talking about playing, as it is more "accepted" these days than it was 30 years ago, and at this point I'm old enough that I don't give a dire rat's butt what others think.
I think the key to RETAINING gamers once you meet up with them isn't so much impressing them with your campaign or acumen, but more about being a friend. With the one gentleman who's stuck with me all these years, I took an interest in his life; we've hung out, done trivia nights together, kvitzed about shows and movies over...
I think that's the real trick. There seems to be this choice between making friends of your gaming group or making your friends into gamers. I tend to favor the latter, since I know personalities will have a better shot of working out at the table.
Becoming friends is helpful for sure. Not only do players stick around then, also the communication becomes more open: They will feel more free to tell you what they liked or disliked.
The only catch is that sometimes you do not want to be friends with a long-time player...
Regarding the original question: I am blessed with loyal players (mostly), but cursed with futile recruitment attempts. My first campaign started off with friends of a friend, and most of them are still around. Later recruitment worked out quite bad: A woman's wish to play was undermined by her girlfriend and being afraid of online play. A player's roommate dropped out soon due to campaign change. A young guy proved to be unreliable and unable to communicate. And there have been some cases of refusals, direct or polite - well, happens.
I don't understand; why would you keep someone at your table you have no interest in being friends with?
Sometimes it takes a while to work out that the player isn't someone you would ever hang out with and the game is all you have in common (other times it is pretty obvious from day or minute one). Sometimes it is a friend of a friend and while you might not want to see that person outside of the game, those two really get along with each other. Sometimes you get desperate for players and put up with stuff you wouldn't in a non-game environment.
That being said, I think we've all booted people who became disruptive, verbally abusive to other players, or the majority/rest of the group determined were just not a fit. Sometimes I've done that a bit passive aggressively ("we're taking a break for a month or two, I'll call when we pick back up"...and never call them), other times very directly ("this isn't working out...you and this group just are not compatible").
I don't understand; why would you keep someone at your table you have no interest in being friends with? By "friends" I don't mean you're standing up at each other's weddings or anything, I'm just talking about the person being someone you wouldn't mind spending a few hours with away from the game.
Well, he got invited by a friend when we started, and back then I was happy to have four motivated players. While I never found him to be very likeable, it took me a while to fully understand his narcissm. And I guess I became more picky when it comes to social contacts - some years ago I would have listened to endless boring egocentric stories, nowadays I cut such talks short.
So he was endurable back then, but now I am looking for a way to get rid of him, with a minimum of drama and hurt feelings involved. The upcoming new campaign seems like the best opportunity...
Luckily the other players are a pleasure to spend to time with, even outside the game.
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Run consistent games at your local friendly gaming store. People bounce back and forth, but they are more likely to come on any given game day when they know that there is a good regular game always available.
Doesn’t have to be every week either. Every other week, every third Thursday so long as it is consistent.
...now I am looking for a way to get rid of him, with a minimum of drama and hurt feelings involved. The upcoming new campaign seems like the best opportunity...
It is a bit of a cop-out, but multiple times I've used "It will take me a while to prep for the new campaign, maybe even a couple of months, so we'll be taking a break and once we're ready to start back up I'll call around to see who is available" and then I conveniently never call that person.
I know it can be argued that it is a bit of a cowardly way out, but sometimes you don't want the drama of, "You are so egotistical that no one in the group can stand you so you're out!"
It is a bit of a cop-out, but multiple times I've used "It will take me a while to prep for the new campaign, maybe even a couple of months, so we'll be taking a break and once we're ready to start back up I'll call around to see who is available" and then I conveniently never call that person.
I know it can be argued that it is a bit of a cowardly way out, but sometimes you don't want the drama of, "You are so egotistical that no one in the group can stand you so you're out!"
Well, that should work as an emergency option, thanks. For now I will try "you haven't been around for a while, are you still interested in the current campaign?" followed up by "how about the next one?". The latter can be augmented by a few campaign details why I think he will not like it. Ideally he bows out on his own, realizing that it's not for him anyway.
When you are starting out, I think meeting lots of people and trying out different groups is a good thing.
Weirdly, I think that podcasts are helpful for this sort of thing these days. For the first time ever, we've all got common touch-points to say "my game is like Critcal Role in this way, the Glass Cannon in that way, etc."
But also for a long term group, you'll want to invite new people in. Changing the social dynamic will spice things up.
Good call on bringing in fresh blood. Happened with my father-in-law's group in a Curse of Strahd game over in 5e. Really nice to see somebody come in with a prickly "what's in it for me?" type character after years of "we're the best friends squad who always cooperates." Made for some much-needed variation in intra-party dynamics.