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Howdy all! Swung by to start up a thread for people to post their most punny and silly characters.
For example...
I've recently started up a green-furred gnoll druid, Gaz Ebo.
I have had a few druids over the years the best names were
Dirk plantra and Leaf Tabarkalone
It's too late at night for me to mine a new idea for this right now, so I'm just going to have to do the environmentally responsible thing to come up with an idea:
A truly horrific villain . . .
The Arch-Conservative candidate for the next Prime Minister of Andoren . . .
A Demagogue Bard who is also secretly a Dread Vampire Failed Apotheosis Mimic who managed to escape the trauma and other disadvantages of apotheosis failure by failing the apotheosis on purpose. Now, he can shamelessly morph to mimic any political position, while taking money (in addition to being able to tap into his own considerable fortune) from shadowy behind-the-scenes Arch-Conservative activists such as the unbelievably rich Kreed Brothers, who seek nothing less than World Domination Through Political Action . . .
Your only hope of preventing him from seizing power is to figure out how to use his only remaining stumbling block: Like so many others of his political alignment, he was born with a silver foot in his mouth . . . .
When you are tired of voting for the lesser of two evils:
* * * * * * * * Vote for for Prime Minister * * * * * * * *
I love how you have posted this idea in more the one place too lol.
^I call it being environmentally responsible . . . It's not like I want to hide it or anything . . . .
Here's another one (this one is usable for PCs):
This team of three Ratfolk were the runts of their litters, small even by Ratfolk standards. Bur rather than being pitied, they learned to make the best of what they had. Training diligently in the ways of both Mouser and Musketeer Swashbucklery, they banded together and became:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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Personally I want to play a awakened moose that walks on two legs with a flying squirrel familiar.
Yeah that was bad.
But now for something you'll really like.
I've had the urge to make a character with all the natural attacks from time to time. Call him Kit Hooloo.
I've had the urge to make a character with all the natural attacks from time to time. Call him Kit Hooloo.
Bonus points if this character is a Commoner-smacking housecat.
I've had the urge to make a character with all the natural attacks from time to time. Call him Kit Hooloo.Bonus points if this character is a Commoner-smacking housecat.
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Halfling samurai named Zashi Osharena, or "Whacky" Zashi.
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"Hi! I'm Friendly! But you can call me 'Fire' if you want to! And I'd like to take this time to formally apologize for setting y'all on fire! Just on the off chance that it should happen." Big grin!
"I've got Blistering Invective and a really high Intimidate skill and can people on fire in groups! - but not normally my friends!"
this added with my table tent let's the other players know a good bit about my PC, and what he "brings to the party..."
Ifrit Alchemist. The "Face" of a group of Alchemists ("Earth, Wind and Fire" - all boon characters, from before they were "open races". We got an Undine to join us, but he doesn't play much... he's "all wet"), we're up to 7th level now and getting a lot of play in Season 8... We also refer to ourselves as Elemental Alchemists...
Originally we were going to build Bards... but the Sylph player wanted to run a Crypt Breaker Alchemist, and as we only had one Boon each... We created them back before they were open access.
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"Hi! I'm First!" Yeah, I normally go first...
Ifrit Wizard/Rogue. NOT a gunslinger. I "shoot" with spells... normally coin shot, so I throw money at the monsters. But I can resort to rays or other spells...
And "it's all about going first" (I have a really high initiative - +20 or more at 2nd level) and getting that "first shot" off to get my sneak dice in. ;-)
Roman centurion Gaius Magnus Mentula.
(A relative of his showed up in a Monty Python movie.)
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I've got an undead bloodline sorcerer whose past was largely spent following around her vampire master, a martial type who used her as a spell battery--she'd cast Enlarge Person, Bear's Endurance etc. before he went into combat.
Her name? Islay the Vampire Buffer
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An awakened Ape druid named Don Ke Kong (orc for King of Apes) in Eberron. He was a Gatekeeper Druid, the ones who guard against dimension hopping, almost human looking, horrors.
I have a air/earth gathlain overwhelming soul kineticist named "Darude Sandstorm".
Dot: an awakened anthropomorphic dog with a much longer name, but who chooses the shorter one; is attacked to two brothers. They are all bards, and have somehow acquired the goblin rubber body thing.
* Snort *
Can I mention the Kitsune rogue/Samurai going as Rashomon Kagemusha?
A dex based Vigilante focused on... penetrating damage, worshiper of Calistria, whose name was... The Horny Hornet.
"It's not my rapier what they fear"
I've statted a 20th level goblin heavy on archery called... Twang.
Drunken master named Darrel Leck. He was actually an NPC, but still a punny character.
I have a plan for a skinwalker bat blooded, from Tian Xia, the Forest of Spirits, a brawler who calls himself King Guan, as in Japanese, near as I can tell from my limited knowledge, would be Guan-o.
Actually N is a sound by itself in the Japanese syllabary, as well as the sound "No". So Guan would sound like Guan.
Sauce: Studying Japanese.
I have plans for a gnome gninja I want to break out one day.
developing a main NPC, a Taldan minor noble, the Marquis Markus Talbert, or, Marquis Mark to his friends.
I have a player who just doesn't bother with names. They're all dull boring and non inventive.
He played Roger the Rogue.
One casting of Unnatural Lust later...
I once played a bard called Howard Drum (but he played the lute, of course)
I once played a cleric of Gorum named Tarrak Rovagson. He didn't have the resilience of his namesake though.
I had a halfling Rogue in 3.5 who was a baker named Barry Le'Monjello
My first character with 3e was a halfling sorcerer / monk. Golden hair that always stood straight up. Loved using shocking grasp and stunning fist.
A friend in my Spelljammer campaign had a character named Rex Dart (used darts) Lizardman Wizard. That's a throwback to MST3K with Rex Dart Eskimo Spy.
In West End Games Star Wars, I had a Kubaz Trampfreighter Captain who was a chef. Kubaz eat bugs and his ship was called the Astrocreep.
In a town in a kingdom I developed, there's a halfling (lot of halflings I notice) names Ka'Jon Nevis and he was a chef who pioneered "Nevian Cuisine" heavy on grilling and sauces.
Same kingdom had a town founded by a Captain Mohrgan. That town makes Cap'n Mohrgan's Spiced rum and Cap'n Mohrgan's Coconut Rum.
That same kingdom was coastal and there were a couple of "beach bums". A regular human and an Andin (equivalent of Native Americans). They were Barnacle Bob and Dancing Dolphin. Dancing Dolphin would catch fish or shrimp and Barnacle Bob would cook the fish and boil the shrimp to sell while playing his Lyre and singing relaxing tunes about hanging out all day, drinking rum and eating shrimp.
On that same world, there was a city (a friend made this part... it was his world) with a tavern called "The Tavern in the Hole". It was a kind of dimensional cross roads and on a certain night, all the renditions of James Bond would come to play baccarat. (Sean Connery, Roger Moore, George Lazenby, David Niven. If we went back there now, there would also be Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig. It's not the actors playing. It's actually the different versions of James Bonds, so it was always high stakes and plodding.
Back in 2E, I played a ninja named Bur Li.
More recently there was Limerick Fancypants, my gnome cavalier who rode a giant bumblebee through Rise of the Runelords and had a limerick for most anywhere in Golarion.
"There once was a man from Sandpoint
Who complained of pain in his joint.
He took a deep breath,
And nearly coughed himself to death,
But that was the point of that joint."
That's the tamest, the next best is raunchy, and from there they just spiral down through crude, crass and debased.
I haven't seen too many terrible names in recent years. These are all from a while ago...
Some of the worst...
The wizard Johnny Rotten and his dog familiar Sid Vicious. (AD&D)
The dwarf fighter Borin Oakenhead. (AD&D)
The pilot Ace Flyboy. (d6 Star Wars)
The halfling gumshoe detective named Fnord Prefect. (AD&D)
Lefty, the one-armed con-man. (GURPS: Pulp)
Jake the Paladin and his brother, Elwood the cleric. ("We're on a mission from God!") (AD&D)
A happy citizen from Alpha Complex named TNNZ-0-FUN. (Paranoia)
The player who decided that it was too much effort to come up with character names, so for about five years, every PC he played in any game system was named Miles Freelander. (AD&D, GURPS: Space, GURPS: X-Files, Champions, Call of Cthulhu)
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Had a shadar-kai order his shadow mastiffs to flank the party in Scales of War...
"Klonz! To the left of me! Jokaz, to the right!"
It was the first time somebody tried to physically assault me over the internet.
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I haven't done this yet, but I want to make a character who is a nod to what seems to be the most common typo on these messageboards:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I want this to be a charismatic Rogue who actually gets mechanical benefit from slopping on loads of makeup to leverage Intimidate and Bluff (and other Charisma-based skills)(*). I may have to post this in a separate thread some time.
(*)Tricky part: I'm angling this for Shattered Star, so no trading out Trapfinding.
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I have a plan for a skinwalker bat blooded, from Tian Xia, the Forest of Spirits, a brawler who calls himself King Guan, as in Japanese, near as I can tell from my limited knowledge, would be Guan-o.Actually N is a sound by itself in the Japanese syllabary, as well as the sound "No". So Guan would sound like Guan.
Sauce: Studying Japanese.
O is the suffix they use to refer to kings in Japanese, so Guan-O would still work :P
I watch too much anime...
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Then there was the awakened dinosaur who rolled a high Intelligence and found a spellbook and a sombrero:
Tyrannosaurus Mex, Arclord of Nex
