58. He said he was going out for cigarettes but never came back.
59. Not having watched "How To Survive A Scary Movie", he made the fatal mistake of saying "I'll be right back."
60. Three words. Robert Downey Jr.
61. Roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
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62. The salmon mousse.
61. Roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.That'd be a good reason for Norris's death. Not so much Aroden.
Had you gone with "Irish whipped into a steel ladder by the Bushwackers," I might be with you.
Actually: old discussion about this.
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62. He turned states evidence and is in witness protection.
62. He turned states evidence and is in witness protection.
Per the old Sopranos TV series, I would consider any deity who tells that story to be a prime suspect for offing him. ;)
because if Frodo would have been able to throw off the One Ring by himself, there would have been no need for Gandalf's far-sighted statements concerning Gollum.
Technically speaking, there still was. Without Gollum, Frodo and Sam likely never would have made it into Mordor to begin with.
63 (or is it 67?). Kobold Cleaver. Yes, you read right. Kobold Cleaver killed Aroden. Why? To prove that kobolds were no laughing matter. Unfortunately, he didn't leave any witnesses so that is why kobolds still aren't taken as serious as they should be.
66) Watched the Star Wars Holiday Special.
If that didn't kill him at the very least it would have driven him insane.
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68. Aroden was investigating a crime with two zelekhuts and Cthulhu rolled . No way around it. Damn shame.
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69.) Calistria locked Aroden in her secret dungeon. You know the one,
70.) Aroden went deep undercover as a Veiled Master so that he can one day get revenge on the monsters who murdered his parents.
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71. He offed himself in order to remove prophecy from Pharasma's profile cause **** her OP BS.
63 (or is it 67?). Kobold Cleaver. Yes, you read right. Kobold Cleaver killed Aroden. Why? To prove that kobolds were no laughing matter. Unfortunately, he didn't leave any witnesses so that is why kobolds still aren't taken as serious as they should be.
Zekelor approves of this theory.
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74. YO.
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75. He tried to click on the "Messageboards" link and was banished to the Paizo homepage forever.
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75. He tried to click on the "Messageboards" link and was banished to the Paizo homepage forever.Yeah, what's up with that?
We angered the coders. All hail the coders. Speaking of which
77) He decided to go inside Paizo.com and broke it.
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78) The last time Paizo set up a "Deity Shipping Thread", somebody actually bought Aroden. He was subsequently lost in the mail and never heard from again.
80. Tripped and fell down the bottomless pit while on his way to clean the Starstone.
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80. Tripped and fell down the bottomless pit while on his way to clean the Starstone.
After, of course, failing the Dc 11 jump check.
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83. Accidentally peered into an alternate dimension where brightly coloured small horses were the dominant beings. So sublime was the madness this sight brought on, Aroden ascended to become one of the Elder Gods.
84. Homicidally enraged Irori after misusing their/there and your/you're too many times.
86. Struck down by Abadar for violating order by skipping 85.
87. Is actually Sivanah.
89) DM fudged too many dice and he rage quit.
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89) DM fudged too many dice and he rage quit.
90) After Aroden rage quit, he told the old Gods they could keep Golarion, he would make his own world, with black jack, and hookers.
90a) In fact, forget the world and the black jack!
90b) Ah, screw the whole thing!
91) He decided to investigate the thing that forced the gnomes to leave the First World and hasn't been seen since.
92) Built a little cottage on the ruins of Azlant and has just been having a quiet century or two to himself before getting back into the swing of things.
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93) He asked James Jacobs too many questions about Dr. Who.
94) He picked a fight with Chuck Norris.
Regardless of what the "official" stance is: Every GM's iteration of Golarion is his or her own. If you're the GM, you get to say what happened to Aroden in your game.
Honestly, I wish that Mr. Jacobs had never revealed that Paizo has an internal, unpublished canonical story about what happened. The fact that there is a definitive answer dilutes the mystery, in my opinion. I would have preferred that they just left it vague.
In my iteration of Golarion: There are a thousand-and-one (or more) different in-game theories of what happened to Aroden. Most people have just moved on.
95) Aroden foresaw a world in which people got angry about not knowing how he died and decided that it was a world he didn't want to live in.
96. Too many ducks
97. Colonel Mustard in the library with a candlestick.
98. Challenged Pun-Pun to a duel.
99. Used the Head of Vecna.
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100. I'm not sure but it involved a harem of Succubi, 5 pounds of melted dark chocolate, 10 gallons of fresh whipped cream, a bottle of champagne, a rubber duck, and Deadpool.
101. 'Aroden' was actually a shared job and someone lost the timesheets.
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102. He demanded creative control for his character and billing above the title, knowing that he wasn't replaceable. Turns out that he was.
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103. He placed a portable hole in a bag of holding.
104. Abadar locked him in the First Vault, as a first specimen of man-becoming-god.
107. He was abducted by aliens.
108) Aroden abducted some aliens and needs a few centuries off to dissect them.
He was given an offer that can't be refused. He refused.