So I play in a table top game and we have 5 players and a DM and it is a large table(like 8-10 feet across and nearly as wide) so people talk a lot, and people are loud, and people interrupt each other at times and people crack a lot of jokes and stuff. Now that isn't a huge deal. However today, one of the players said something along the line of "I should gain more xp or be rewarded because I am really active." And as an example of being more active he said he talks like ten times more than me.
Which annoys me because the reason he talk way more than me is because I consciously do not talk on other people's turn, and share the spot light with others and am a generally considerate player. Mean while he lack basic table etiquette and yap all the time. He doesn't listen to me when I am doing stuff, he talks during other people's turn, and he shout people down, plus don't mind doing long winded roleplaying all about him self without showing much interest in others.
Now while I think he is being rude, I don't think it is on purpose and it isn't entirely their fault. I mean having a table so big that people on each side can have their own personal conversations without people on the other side hearing it, obviously contributes to the problem, along with having 6 people, and to a degree people feed off each other. One person starts cracking jokes, then everyone is and it is hard to get serious attention on the game. Seems like a lot of time people don't even know when people are speaking ic or ooc.
I was thinking of pulling him aside and talking to him about it, but it seems like a good chance to try to fix the general atmosphere at the table. So I am wondering if people have suggestions for trying to get everyone to pay attention more to other players, to listen more. To not talk as much during other people's turn. To cut out random chatter and get more focused on roleplaying stuff, and on having the focus be more on group stuff and not people just doing their own thing all the time.
Now most of the players claim to be heavily into roleplaying and want to focus on that stuff, so I think they are willing to try changing things up in the name of maybe getting rid of ooc chatter and the like. However, a lot have also played d&d for a long time and are a bit stubborn and set in their ways. Also, I am pretty sure a lot of players just like to argue for fun(may be another reason for the atmosphere). So I do want to be careful how I bring up the topic. I don't want to get into an argument over it, because someone feels like I am insulting their roleplaying ability or anything.
We had a similar problem in my group, and we more or less fixed it with by saying; 'Anything you say is in-character.' So if they want to crack jokes and ignore the game constantly, they can, but they're character ACTUALLY HAS TO SAY THOSE THINGS, which will generally get people into the game a lot more. If they're heavily into roleplaying as you say, they had hardly complain against a rule designed to heighten immersion and encourage roleplaying. It takes a bit of patience to get people into it (they forget, etc.) but it seems to work for us. Obvious there needs to be the odd exception, but for the most part people just don't need to be out of character, and if they're thinking "I'm in character," they're more likely to be thinking about what they're character will do rather than getting distracted with irrelevant stuff.
On a side note, no one should ever get extra XP for talking more. Never let that happen. It's stupid for a multitude of different reasons, the most obvious (but only one of many) being that it means the Bard gets more XP than the Fighter by default, even if the fighter kills a thousand goblins and the Bard hides in a corner when it comes to combat.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
That player is missing something pretty fundamental to Pathfinder: the party earns XP for overcoming encounters. It doesn't matter who it is, or how they did it, combat, social, a single spell from afar, whatever, if one or more members of the party overcame a challenge, the whole party earns XP from that.
Is this a case of the GM not giving out XP for social encounters, perhaps?
This is definitely something you have to take outside of the game, it seems to be the group dynamics that are failing a bit. You should probably start with the DM and ask him/her to try to keep the game a bit more focused and to ask people to not interrupt others, for the sake of the group. You could also address your problem to the entire group. Just be careful pointing fingers, people get defensive about that.
We don't use XP at my table, simply to avoid anything resembling XP-hunting (I did a joke about it, a few sessions ago, where I had a player level up from beating up a small dog (it wasn't really a dog, so don't feel sorry for the bastard). Everyone else had to do something minor to level up as well, or they'd be left behind). I usually just level them up when ever I feel like it.
I'd reccomend you not talking to the person, but talking to the GM instead. It's their game. Their job. Let them dictate how things go
That player has this attitude I never seen before, that i don't think is good for a team game. They do work fairly well overall with the group and do help out and does their role. However they also said they would quit playing any game in which everyone is treated equally despite the effort they put in. Which is where they get the idea that they need xp rewards if they do more 'stuff'. Which I am not entirely opposed to but their idea of 'stuff' is often arbitrary and not all that productive. He is definitely a quantity over quality sort of person.
I have brought up the xp thing before, since the DM seems to be going along with it, because they want to make that person happy and no one has a good alternative to rewarding players who are more 'active' than others.
So the xp thing might be a lost cause. I can live with that, to me it doesn't destroy the game. It hurts cooperation in my mind, but the game is still enjoyable.
I do think all the random ooc chatting in a bigger issue though. Especially since all the players have stated interest in roleplaying.
After reading the replies and thinking about it more, I think I might offer up two new rule suggestions at the next game. 1. If you are at the table(sitting at it, leaning over it, touching it in any way) then anything you say is considered ic. If you are not at the table, then anything you say is ooc. 2. You can't speak during someone else's turn.
They all say they rank roleplay high up, so it seems like a fairly reasonable guideline. I think I will approach it along the lines of, "I noticed a lot of ooc chatting and I think it is distracting from the roleplaying at times. So I would like to suggest a couple of rules to enhance the roleplaying aspect of the game."
No addition of rules can fix this. You need to air your grievance outside of the context of the game and be direct about it. Don't sugarcoat things. If they don't see a problem then they'll just ignore whatever rule.
Johnnycat93 wrote: You need to air your grievance outside of the context of the game and be direct about it. Don't sugarcoat things. This is a good way with many persons, but not with narcists like the described person. Any attempt to criticize their behavior is perceived as a personal attack. So once you attack them, make sure you achieve a decisive victory, or you will suffer from their petty avenge attacks all the time. I had a narcist in a local group lately, and he ruined like six sessions for half of the players - till opposition got too much for him and he quitted.
Lorila, I think you are on the right track with introducing new rules. Try to ally with the GM and other players. And keep in mind such persons are only loud and pejorative because they are afraid of being judged themselves.
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"Lorila Sorita wrote: ...they also said they would quit playing any game in which everyone is treated equally despite the effort they put in. HUGE red flag here, but that may be personal bias. I've had experience with a player who would threaten to bail as a means of getting what he wanted and forcing the party to go along with things. It NEVER went well. Every single game he was in that went on long enough saw him attempt to hold the group hostage with that threat. Every single one of those games crashed and burned immediately upon it happening. Not one game survived to see another session past his threats, as suddenly people would always get very keen to play other things.
...So I'd be worrying about the player basically trying to take advantage of the group. It sounds like he wants to be superior to the rest of you, and is refusing to accept the idea of a game where he isn't the star. If this is the case, it's a worry that needs to be brought up with the GM, and other players. See if anyone else has a problem with it and just isn't speaking up.
On the other hand it's possible he legitimately thinks he's the only one contributing to the group, in which case it needs to be clear that you're talking less not because you're a lump trying to mooch off his hard-earned XP, but because you're a polite player who is trying not to interrupt. If he's talking through other people's turns and not paying attention like you describe, then the problem could basically just be a lack of awareness, and your ideas of cutting down on out of character chatter during a game might really help with that.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
I have to ask, why does he feel that XP shouldn't be shared out equally? Why does he feel that in a cooperative storytelling game, the player who talks fastest should advance more quickly? What benefit does he think it provides to all of the players? Because it should. It's not an in-world reward, so it's a reward for the player, not the character. Why should he be rewarded? Out of game, what has he done to deserve a reward over anyone else?
LittleMissNaga wrote: "Lorila Sorita wrote: ...they also said they would quit playing any game in which everyone is treated equally despite the effort they put in. HUGE red flag here, but that may be personal bias. I've had experience with a player who would threaten to bail as a means of getting what he wanted and forcing the party to go along with things. It NEVER went well. This bluff straight-up needs to be called. If the player leaves, you'll all be better off.
This isn't League of Legends, you don't get to be a "carry." That mentality needs to be squashed with extreme prejudice. There's nothing wrong with having "the best combat character in the party" or being "the best social character": the game even expects and relies on it. But the game then normalizes and equalizes the rewards. Adventurers join up with others who are able to fill in crucial weak spots. That's all by design.
There's nothing wrong with a character being a braggart or turning everything into a competition, as long as it's all in good fun.
Lorila Sorita wrote: However they also said they would quit playing any game in which everyone is treated equally despite the effort they put in. Which is where they get the idea that they need xp rewards if they do more 'stuff'. ... I'm so sorry. I really am. This is impossible to play a group-based game on (the self-centered mentality doesn't work in groups). If you can, I would advice you to try to find a new group. There seems to be something deeper rooted in them that can't be solved by words (and other means should not be attempted).
If you can't find a new group, try words. Point this fatal flaw out to your DM and the fact that he's rewarding the players for being selfish. This really shouldn't have to be a problem.
I don't think he was making an out right threat or demand, like we have to do it his way or he quits. Rather, he doesn't believe he will enjoy the game if everyone is equal and if he isn't enjoying the game he may as well quit. He only ever said that once, and seems willing to talk about this stuff. So I wouldn't say he is a jerk or a bad player. He just has a skewed view of what it means to cooperate as a team.
I think, from his point of view he sees him self as being active and helpful, and then looks at others and think they are being less active and less helpful, and feels like the only fair thing to do is reward people based on how much they contribute. So if you contribute a lot you get more xp. Which I don't really like since it is a team game but it isn't a horrible unplayable idea.
The problem however, is that I don't think he realizes that if he 'over contributes' that is taking away from other people. He sees it as being super active not that he is hogging the spotlight. He might also just be a loud person in general and doesn't realize that he is talking over people, and then when they don't shout him down he thinks they are less active or disinterested or slacking off or whatever.
I don't know him that well though, so I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt. He does have really strong opinions and is a bit stubborn, though he does seem willing to at least talk about other people's opinion. So I don't think it is a lost cause.
it's a people problem more than a game issue.
The GM should award equal or appropriate experience based on what character's do IN THE GAME. Not helping him out with players that don't know what to do. Talk to your GM and explain that what he is doing is unfair.
To make a point you could have a Silence cast on a stone in your character's hand and then have your character stand next to his character. It creates an interesting conundrum.
try
Handling pushy people
Be Tolerant
Difficult Workplace Types
That's really good to hear. Since you don't know him that well, you really should get some support from your DM and/or someone else in the group that does know him (if nobody does, it's up to the DM).
You may not be able to convince him in one discussion, so I suggest that your DM should take a bit more govern over the sessions and politely remind him whenever he's stealing the spotlight.
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