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Garden gnomes.
Are they better than flamingos?
Are there superior lawn ornaments?
Do lawn gnomes promote a cruel, kobold-hating gnomic regime of terror and blood?
This will be the first of many angry, hostile discussions we will have about things that matter to someone somewhere. Let's start this off right: With a list of citations that indicates I am putting too way much effort into an online argument (but in reality contributes absolutely nothing)!
CITATIONS:
Gnome 1
Gnome 2
Gnome 3
Gnome 4
Flamingo 1
Flamingo 2 (not sure if CGI)
Real Flamingos (for reference)
Stupid broken bird (seriously what is this? not related i just want to know, is it CGI or something)
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I just realized this is the second thread tangentially related to gnomes I've started this week.
This may be indicative of something I should be worried about.
This may be indicative of something I should be worried about.
You know what you should be worried about? Gnomes! With their stupid tiny eyes... Pitoooy! I say!
You know what is even more strange to stumble upon? Trolls! I found this place on a long trip, and it was really odd to stumble on.
You used to love your stuffed gnome when you were little.
I mean really loved it. That thing was a biohazard.
What do trolls need a real-world capital for? Isn't Twitter good enough for 'em?
*smites the Garden Gnomes and the Flamingos* There. Now in the eyes of the law, they are equal.
Well someone's been watching Gnomeo and Juliet...
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~reads the thread and gulps~ Uh oh! Old Man Henderson will be showing up soon! I am going to hide. You all have fun! ~runs and hides~
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~reads the thread and gulps~ Uh oh! Old Man Henderson will be showing up soon! I am going to hide. You all have fun! ~runs and hides~
*the sound of a revving Buick roars in the distance....*
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I'd like to note that people have been known to use plastic flamingoes to "Flock" a yard, placing down dozens of them and completely ruining the lawn while providing a message demanding "support" for something (like a school) before the flamingoes will be removed.
Flamingoes are, therefore, clearly something used by hostile, aggressive teenagers to bilk hardworking homeowners out of their money. Now, we can all agree that lawn gnomes are evil - and anybody who disagrees is clearly being mind-controlled by the little monsters - but plastic flamingoes turn children into monsters.
I think we all know which is worse.
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To demonstrate my opinions that gnomes are too easily sacrificed to eldritch horrors, I have "acquired" several gnomes from an area man's porch (by which I mean I purchased them from him while he seemed a little out of it).
Hey, there he is now. What's he doing with those fertilizer bags?..
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Is it that "farmer Brown" guy with the chickens and guard dog and stuff?
Hmmm, paying him for his stuff never seemed to cross anyone's mind before...
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Flamingoes are best used for playing golf. Everyone knows this.
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Flamingoes are best used for playing golf. Everyone knows this.
Whis wuy wits it!
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Your mother.
What about his mother?
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What do trolls need a real-world capital for? Isn't Twitter good enough for 'em?
Well, if they have a real world physical existence then they have to live somewhere.
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*eats Caesar salad*
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And yet, there are no flamingos in my yard. Therefore "flamingos" are a myth perpetrated by gnomes with agendas.
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I'd thought it was reverse vampires.
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We get turkeys on our yard sometimes.
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*Surveys back yard*
"I see the croquet hoops are coming in quite lovely this year."
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gawd, I can't stand it when Canadians are uncivil
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We get toads after it rains. They're probably hiding underground most of the time :)
No, the rain releases petrichor in the air, which activates the thumpers, which calls in the Slaad-Hulud. The Chaos must flow!
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This year, my neighborhood has totally failed in containing the annual decorative light bloom. We may not survive.
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What do trolls need a real-world capital for? Isn't Twitter good enough for 'em?Well, if they have a real world physical existence then they have to live somewhere.
Not if we get enough acid flasks together.
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Not if we get enough acid flasks together.What do trolls need a real-world capital for? Isn't Twitter good enough for 'em?Well, if they have a real world physical existence then they have to live somewhere.
Best to be safe and call in a nuclear strike. Just to be sure.
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Not if we get enough acid flasks together.What do trolls need a real-world capital for? Isn't Twitter good enough for 'em?Well, if they have a real world physical existence then they have to live somewhere.
Well, if we're going to be throwing acid (as in sulfuric) at the trolls then we're going to need lots and lots of it. Greenpeace will get really upset about the hazardous waste dump we'll end up creating as a result.
If you mean we should end up doing acid (as in LSD) to convince ourselves the trolls are not that much of a problem, then we won't need quite so much. :-)
I don't know of any cure for lawn flamingos though. Nuking them from orbit perhaps? ;-)
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All ya need to handle flamingos is a lil' salt! Just spread it around yer lawn, and they won't sprout!
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All ya need to handle flamingos is a lil' salt! Just spread it around yer lawn, and they won't sprout!
Yep, but then neither will your grass, your ornamental shrubs, your flowers, your herb garden, any shade trees you might have, etc., etc..
But on the other hand if you just nuke the entire city then no one will care about how bad your lawn looks compared to everybody else's. :-)
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{holds flashlight under face} Be careful. Sages say that the Hippe Folk encourage flamingos to sprout anew on the lawns of the unwary. Woe be those who un-ironically step into the midst of a flock of the pink ones... for they often find themselves whisked away to the mythical Phallic Panhandle of Infernus: forever cursed to eat dinner in the late afternoon, damned to wear black socks and sandals simultaneously, and slowly shrinking until they can no longer see above the dash of the mechanical wheeled conveyances.
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I flaunt my imaginary pet flamingo in it's true pink color to test you. It has magical power to confuse and anger. Squack Squack it says. I'm bad at arguing so often I'll just look at my flamingo and know he's the best. I'm not even going to look at your flamingo, mine's better! That's why I didn't read carefully your flamingo posts, I'm stomping in now cuz I got the jist. Squack!