I'm Hiding In Your Closet
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Goofus demands his PCs roll Fortitude saves versus mold spores every time they enter a dungeon, Reflex saves at semirandom intervals in the dungeon crawl so they don't slip on wet stones, and a collective Will save when the PCs form into their marching order to prevent themselves from conga line-dancing all the way through the dungeon.
Gallant sees four lights.
Sliska Zafir
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Goofus bills Gallant for excessive electricity use, and charges him 1000% wholesale for switching to LEDs. Then, he crushes the compact flourescents and lays them carefully on Gallant's doorstep, just in time for the morning paper retrieval.
Gallant writes home to mom twice a week.
Sliska Zafir
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Goofus undermines his GM as frequently as possible, whether by rules lawyering, casting as many summons as he can to monopolize player turns, min-maxing like a demon, or slaying every NPC the GM introduces.
Gallant helps old ladies cross the street at every opportunity.
Sliska Zafir
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Goofus asks his players what kind of campaign they want to play in before preparing it, runs the first 3/4 of the first scene as they wanted it, and then unloads his own devilish, horrific and oppressive twists over the next 20 levels.
Gallant always asks if someone wants the last slice before taking it.
| Ventnor |
Goofus broke into each of his player’s homes and wrote “chaotic evil” in the alignment section of their character sheets. When asked why, he explained that good characters would have complimented his GMPC more.
Gallant knows that one of his player’s has arachnophobia and checks if it’s okay with them before including giant spiders as enemies in his encounters.
I'm Hiding In Your Closet
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Goofus builds a wicker man and keeps a hundred men, women, and children warm for the rest of their lives.
Gallant records his observations of the many strange cultures that he and his army do battle with scrupulously, fairly, and honestly; though he is required to fight them as part of his duty to his people and his liege, his duty to posterity and Truth is even greater.
I'm Hiding In Your Closet
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Goofus is deeply uncomfortable with blood, sharp blades, fire, death, nudity, pirates, assassins, tentacles, or anything at all that violates his religious beliefs (such as sorcery, homosexuality, gambling, alcohol, polytheism, and portrayal of males as having just as many ribs as females). The only game his group ever gets to play is Settlers of Catan. One person eventually got fed up and complained, so Goofus vented about that player on Twitter, leading to a mob harassment campaign that ended with the player's suicide.
Gallant approaches every new setting and system he is introduced to with a fresh mind; he does not mistake the concepts and mechanics of games he's used to for a universal truth how ALL games "should be" - after all, he's in an entirely different universe now!