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9. "Before we proceed further into the enemy lair, which is sure to be guarded by a small army, we will take 10 minutes strip-searching the corpses of those we have already killed."
Actually, that's pretty realistic. That's what happened during war.
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9. "Before we proceed further into the enemy lair, which is sure to be guarded by a small army, we will take 10 minutes strip-searching the corpses of those we have already killed."Actually, that's pretty realistic. That's what happened during war.
If you are British, you might even stop in the middle of an advance to brew a cuppa.
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I knew the British were Alchemists!
203. Most people would regard having their eye and hand cut off and replaced with unholy relics to be a horrible fate. Adventurers will come to blows for the opportunity.
204. In a dark and foreboding temple of Cthulhu, the bravest of warriors waver and cry out in terror at the Will saves sure to be imminent.
205. Immediately retire upon having had six adventures.
206. Need to climb a wall? Just eat a live spider!
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"Tried casting spider climb and climbing up the garage wall. Spiders are gross. And so is the pavement." —Somewhat Mangled Quote from Some Guy Whose Name I Can't Remember
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# something in above 100+
PC is blinded by glitterdust, proceeds to cast summon Mount, to be placed somewhere in the tavern they're in. (With intent to flank the enemy?)
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208.
In cases where the DM mentions elimination breaks it puts the party on immediate alert of a "caught with pants down" ambush.
DM: "So you are a few yards into the woods, answering the call of nature, and out of sight of the rest of the party"
Player" Wait, no! I bring them all with me. We always go in a group and watch each other."
DM: "Really? Hasn't been mentioned before."
Player: "Guys, get over here. I am doing off camera stuff and the camera is not cutting away. And the background music sounds like it is speeding up!"
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9. "Before we proceed further into the enemy lair, which is sure to be guarded by a small army, we will take 10 minutes strip-searching the corpses of those we have already killed."Actually, that's pretty realistic. That's what happened during war.
Yeah, soldiers stopping in the middle of a major battle to loot the enemy/civilians, even if it screws up the wider battle plan, happens all the time in warfare.
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208.
In cases where the DM mentions elimination breaks it puts the party on immediate alert of a "caught with pants down" ambush.
DM: "So you are a few yards into the woods, answering the call of nature, and out of sight of the rest of the party"
Player" Wait, no! I bring them all with me. We always go in a group and watch each other."
DM: "Really? Hasn't been mentioned before."
Player: "Guys, get over here. I am doing off camera stuff and the camera is not cutting away. And the background music sounds like it is speeding up!"
That reminds me of a scene from Banjo-Tooie.
"Banjo: There doesn't seem to be any threat here."
"Kazooie: Oh yes there is. The music's changed."
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One of our PC's decided, for some reason, to do a Swim check to identify cocaine.
It's become a running gag in our group ever since.
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One of our PC's decided, for some reason, to do a Swim check to identify cocaine.
It's become a running gag in our group ever since.
Wait, was he swimming in the stuff? I've seen some goofy logic in my time, but nothing along those lines.
Then again, this is coming from the same guy who used a jetpack to kill a Dark Jedi in the Star Wars D6 system.
One of our PC's decided, for some reason, to do a Swim check to identify cocaine.
It's become a running gag in our group ever since.
Wait, was he swimming in the stuff? I've seen some goofy logic in my time, but nothing along those lines.
Then again, this is coming from the same guy who used a jetpack to kill a Dark Jedi in the Star Wars D6 system.
nope! There was only enough cocaine to fill a hidden compartment in a watch.
Also that's pretty epic.
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One of our PC's decided, for some reason, to do a Swim check to identify cocaine.
It's become a running gag in our group ever since.
Wait, was he swimming in the stuff? I've seen some goofy logic in my time, but nothing along those lines.
Then again, this is coming from the same guy who used a jetpack to kill a Dark Jedi in the Star Wars D6 system.
nope! There was only enough cocaine to fill a hidden compartment in a watch.
Also that's pretty epic.
So I'm trying to wrap my head around his logic now. I might blue screen by the end of the night.
My character wasn't even Force-sensitive, he was just a Twi'lek bounty hunter. He had lost his weapons and was too close to run from the Dark Jedi, so I look at my GM and ask "How easy is it to replace jetpacks?"
Long story short, the Dark Jedi is now dust over Tatoonie and he survived a 120 foot drop.
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One of our PC's decided, for some reason, to do a Swim check to identify cocaine.
It's become a running gag in our group ever since.
Wait, was he swimming in the stuff? I've seen some goofy logic in my time, but nothing along those lines.
Then again, this is coming from the same guy who used a jetpack to kill a Dark Jedi in the Star Wars D6 system.
nope! There was only enough cocaine to fill a hidden compartment in a watch.
Also that's pretty epic.
So I'm trying to wrap my head around his logic now. I might blue screen by the end of the night.
My character wasn't even Force-sensitive, he was just a Twi'lek bounty hunter. He had lost his weapons and was too close to run from the Dark Jedi, so I look at my GM and ask "How easy is it to replace jetpacks?"
Long story short, the Dark Jedi is now dust over Tatoonie and he survived a 120 foot drop.
This took place in an extremely small town on a volcanic mountain with only like 4 buildings, including one stall selling only rotten cabbages and potatoes. This town was run by a mayor named Foppish R. Gentlebags who had a tendendy to smash doors open whenever he makes his entrance. (he was the one with the cocaine watch)
There was also a guy named Ivanov but I have no idea what he was up to even though we fought him twice, and killed him when the GM (a whimsical GM with an extremely beautiful beard) didn't expect it.
EDIT: Incidentally that's another weird thing adventurers do--they seem to have absolutely no idea what's going on in the world around them and just kill stuff when ordered to do so, and even when not ordered to do so, and can't even remember what country they are in.
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Gonna start from #209 and hope it's correct.
Adventurers' choice of music has nothing to do with medieval music of the time.
Gonna start from #209 and hope it's correct.
Adventurers' choice of music has nothing to do with medieval music of the time.
Of what time? Are we talking about games that are actually set on our earth a thousand years ago?
The time of Golarion, for example, is not relative to ours because it is its own independent world.
Also I think you might like me as a gm since traditional folk/world music is one of my favorite things in the world. For example this beautiful thing.
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210: Collect seemingly random and in consequential things because they believe at some random point in the adventure, it's going to come in handy.
210b: They have a tendency to make the random inconsequential things they collect work, even if they normally won't.
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#211: Take the existence of magic, monsters, and such for granted, but launch into lengthy debates about "realism" and "time period of the setting" when they encounter any cultural or technological point of interest in the world.
#AboutMe, substituting "realism" for "believability", and something more like "internal cultural consistency" for "time period of the setting"
GM: roll fortitude save!
Me: "Ah! Fortitude Save is my middle name!" (since I have a high fortitude save)
*rolls a nat 1*
GM: roll fortitude save!
Me: "Ah! Fortitude Save is my middle name!" (since I have a high fortitude save)*rolls a nat 1*
In one game, we had a Warpriest with incredibly high saves (esp Will), but would always, or seemingly always, roll a nat 1 vs Psychic Crush. "Oh, he's a -1 again!"
ETA: We were facing Pathfinderized Mind Flayers, and they love that Psychic Crush.
Ssshhhh before the copyright lawyers hear!
You must mean psyche skinners.
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Go into people's houses and smash pots in the hopes of finding money.
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Go into people's houses and smash pots in the hopes of finding money.
Also cutting all the grass and eating the hearts of their enemies.
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Running in terror at the sight of two or more chickens.Go into people's houses and smash pots in the hopes of finding money.Also cutting all the grass and eating the hearts of their enemies.
Kidnapping fairies and trapping them in bottles, to eat them alive later.
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No, no, fey are for spell components!
216. Seriously wondering whether it's a good idea to keep adventuring while pregnant.
Good point. :P
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I'm fairly sure that if she quits, another hero of equal skill will be available at the next tavern.
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They're all too quick to break open the Sealed Evil in a Can (but never quick enough to break open the can of doggie chow) only to be destroy it later. And then they always get all the special treats for being a hero after! Something smells funny* here, and I think it's CONSPIRACY!!
*I know what smells funny. I've sniffed the underside of a flumph before!
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I think the Highfolk T-shirt summed up adventurers in a nutshell (paraphrasing a bit, mine died awhile ago):
DM: Before you stands the Vesve forest, its about 100 miles by 250 miles and contains about 100,000 orcs, what do you do?
Players: We ATTACK!
DM (nodding knowingly): Roll for initiative.
Characters are in an insane home-campaign mix of kingdom building and mythic power. They've managed to *subdue* a hobgoblin army, bring a hex of unruly pixies to their kingdom, made peace with local centaurs in an exceptionally favorably way to both sides, stopped the marauding harpies (they were just misunderstood!)...
And then they encounter an Ancient anti-paladin and a 100 % Pure Ebil Lich.
Players: "Oh, hey there. So, didn't realize this was your site, we'll just be moving along now. Surely we can be friends and work this all out?"
GM: "Guys, they're PURE EVIL, and not interested in talking, roll for initiative!"
*initiative sequence*
Lich: Attempts to death a character.
Character 1: "So, we realize you're a bit ornery after being asleep all those years, but that's no need to try and murder us."
Anti-paladin: Attempts to death a character.
Character 2: "Maybe we're not speaking the right language! I cast Tongues so they can understand me! 'We're not here to fight you!' "
Character 3: "Aid on the Diplomacy check?"
Character 4: "I'm setting up for an Intimidate, just in case Diplomacy fails"
*Another round passes with more diplomatic flailings by PCs, and more combat failings by the NPCs*
Character 1: "See, we're right. Just throw down your weapons..."
GM: "Um. Guys. Pure EVIL. Not going to surrender. Want you DEAD. No amount of Diplomacy is going to change that."
Character 2: "We can keep trying!"
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Just because they're Evil doesn't mean they wouldn't be willing to negotiate.
Lich: "Half of you must remain here, unarmed, as hostages. The rest of you must bring us one hundred innocent children, for... purposes. If you agree to these terms, you will be permitted to survive as my eternal servants."
PC: "Would you be willing to compromise? How about thirty children?"
Or the bad guys can just play up on the heroes' apparent naievete. "Oh, terribly sorry for the misunderstanding. We'll just be on our way now." *bad guys leave PCs behind and go on to work their mischief elsewhere*
Obviously not going to work if their beef is directly with the PCs, of course, but if the lich just wants himself some new handful of minions he can get those anywhere, no sense having a scuffle with a bunch of people who clearly aren't trying to hero him/her back into their crypt. ;)
The GM in the above scenario had specifically and deliberately threw them in BECAUSE he was getting tired of the party negotiating their way out of tough fights that he'd spent the week preparing, so they were individuals awoken when the party found a mythic item they were preparing to bring back to their settlement. They'd turned themselves undead because they had run out of 'normal time' trying to figure out how to uncover said mythic item themselves...
The other part of this campaign was the horrible disparity of WBL -- the players kept dumping these massive windfalls ('loot') back into the kingdom treasury rather than risking the citizenry being upset at them for 'embezzling'.
It eventually got to a point on *that* aspect (after the lich/antipaladin encounter where the settlement's dead were woken up as a 'parting gift' by pissed off undead powerhouses) that the settlement had a 'town meeting' behind the players' backs, and *gave* them a list of things to prevent it from happening again. And then threatening to leave if the players didn't TAKE THE GEAR, ****IT!
GM: roll fortitude save!
Me: "Ah! Fortitude Save is my middle name!" (since I have a high fortitude save)*rolls a nat 1*
I once made the near fatal mistake of announcing that because my fort save was so ridiculously high, I was immune to poison and nothing bad would happen if I ate the object we were sure was poisoned, but might have been blessed or buff me or something.
I once made the near fatal mistake of announcing that because my fort save was so ridiculously high, I was immune to poison and nothing bad would happen if I ate the object we were sure was poisoned, but might have been blessed or buff me or something.GM: roll fortitude save!
Me: "Ah! Fortitude Save is my middle name!" (since I have a high fortitude save)*rolls a nat 1*
We have a rule in our group: never announce the target number you have to hit to succeed. Or, really, announce anything that can give the GM ideas.
Hoping to resurrect this thread (unless it's moved elsewhere, I'll check after this post), so here's one from a homebrew I ran recently, a ghost campaign set in a fantasy steampunk homebrew world.
Gamer 1: "So my body is gone and I'm stuck as a ghost, what can I do?"
Gamer 2: "We put you in a soul gem and stick you into my motorcycle!"
Note: both real life and in-game females in an in-game lesbian relationship. Also, the sentient motorcycle's half-sister is a sentient cannon.
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Or the bad guys can just play up on the heroes' apparent naievete. "Oh, terribly sorry for the misunderstanding. We'll just be on our way now." *bad guys leave PCs behind and go on to work their mischief elsewhere*
Obviously not going to work if their beef is directly with the PCs, of course, but if the lich just wants himself some new handful of minions he can get those anywhere, no sense having a scuffle with a bunch of people who clearly aren't trying to hero him/her back into their crypt. ;)
Oh my gosh. PCs are very vulnerable to the whims of their players. Make an NPC rude, or annoying, or have them embarrass the PCs some way, and they will ally with the worst of the undead horrors to bring that NPC down. Especially if those undead horrors are really polite. Even in Age of Worms.
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Risk their lives to turn a 10 armed demon into a statue when they could easily just kill it. (Would have actually killed the guy if it weren't for hero points.)
Golden Rule: Thought upon seeing a person, landmark, house, city, monster, dungeon, really anything:
"It could be more on fire."
Are you sure you're not a goblin? Cause, really:
12. Given sufficient determination and resources, everything catches fire eventually.
217ish. "Wait, are we sure we aren't goblins?"
Wait thirty minutes when a floating fortress in nearby and someone teleported in to call them out.
