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335. Sorcerer: Hold my beer and watch this!
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336: A high level rogue was thrown out of his adventuring band for being 'dead weight.' While drowning his sorrows, he picks a fight with the lower level PCs to show that he's 'still got it.'
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339. It's Russel Crowe fightin' 'round the world!
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341. A dog and a boy get into an argument over how to pronounce "RU-INEd for a WHile"
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342. Two words: "Edition Wars."
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343. One guy yells "Simulation!" the other yells "High fantasy!"
344. A rogue fleeing the confectioner's shop he just robbed is darting through the tavern. Just then the female orc barbarian peanut butter wrestlers are about to start buttering up with the ceremonial nut paste when the rogue stumbles into the barrel, his loot mingling hoplessly within. "YOU GOT CHOCOLATE IN OUR PEANUT BUTTER!" one of the women hollers. "YOU GOT PEANUT BUTTER IN YOUR CHOCOLATE!" the other screams. Everyone roll initiative.
345. A bad case of Disco Fever leads to the Harlem Shake and suddenly its a Ballroom Blitz
346. Excuse me, but do you have any Grey Pupon?
347. Somebody asks the bards if they know any smooth jazz
348. BEES!
349. A warlord has just condemned a barbarian to contemplate the power of the flesh on the tree of woe; said barbarian's wife has political connections
350. 2 words: Mickey Rourke
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345. A bad case of Disco Fever leads to the Harlem Shake and suddenly its a Ballroom Blitz
Suddenly, Mt. Dew sprays from DMCal's face and covers his keyboard.
351. FreeholdDM gets a job tending bar at a local watering hole the same Saturday a Firefly convention comes to town.
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351. FreeholdDM gets a job tending bar at a local watering hole the same Saturday a Firefly convention comes to town.
At the same time Facebook is having their annual all-employee meeting at the same hotel
351. FreeholdDM gets a job tending bar at a local watering hole the same Saturday a Firefly convention comes to town.At the same time Facebook is having their annual all-employee meeting at the same hotel
For some reason, Alton Brown is their keynote speaker.
352. I'm Hiding In Your Closet hid in the wrong Barbarian's closet.
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For some reason, Alton Brown is their keynote speaker.351. FreeholdDM gets a job tending bar at a local watering hole the same Saturday a Firefly convention comes to town.At the same time Facebook is having their annual all-employee meeting at the same hotel
BLASPHEMER! You speak of the apocalypse, the end of days! "And the First Horseman shall come, riding a Firefly, and shall crush the souls of mortals with endless debate the popularity of a failed television show. Then I bore witness to the Second Horseman. He traveled not on a horse but on the backs of millions of mindless zombie slaves, their wills consumed by his Book of Faces that reduced all who used it to the shambling dead. Next came the Third Horseman who had taken all that was good and wholesome in chemistry, cooking and entertainment and taken that from the masses. Before him lay the cooking shows yet to be, and they trembled; behind him lay the endless wastes of the Chefs of Iron and others he'd already destroyed"
Beware the naming of the Fourth Horseman. So heinous is that crime that I shall not even allude to it. Freehold DM I say unto you: only YOU would have the audacity to name him. If you would risk the wrath of the righteous speak and complete the prophecy. Name the Fourth Horseman and bare witness to that which you have set in motion!
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353. I can't believe it's not butter
354. A pregnant woman bursts through the door, flanked by a half-dozen city guard. "That's him!" she declares, pointing into the crowd. Then, confused, she glances the other way. "No... THAT's him. No wait... I think it was him, and those 2, and the BARTENDER!" Meanwhile you chance to glance over at the first guy and realize she named the master illusionist
355. Someone thought it'd be good idea to try their new "Infernal Form" spell at the Sober Hellknight inn and day spa.
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For some reason, Alton Brown is their keynote speaker.351. FreeholdDM gets a job tending bar at a local watering hole the same Saturday a Firefly convention comes to town.At the same time Facebook is having their annual all-employee meeting at the same hotelBLASPHEMER! You speak of the apocalypse, the end of days! "And the First Horseman shall come, riding a Firefly, and shall crush the souls of mortals with endless debate the popularity of a failed television show. Then I bore witness to the Second Horseman. He traveled not on a horse but on the backs of millions of mindless zombie slaves, their wills consumed by his Book of Faces that reduced all who used it to the shambling dead. Next came the Third Horseman who had taken all that was good and wholesome in chemistry, cooking and entertainment and taken that from the masses. Before him lay the cooking shows yet to be, and they trembled; behind him lay the endless wastes of the Chefs of Iron and others he'd already destroyed"
Beware the naming of the Fourth Horseman. So heinous is that crime that I shall not even allude to it. Freehold DM I say unto you: only YOU would have the audacity to name him. If you would risk the wrath of the righteous speak and complete the prophecy. Name the Fourth Horseman and bare witness to that which you have set in motion!
I'm...speechless. This was beautiful..
357. Someone spilled their drink, into the empty flagon of another patron. Who was mightily pleased for the free top up so gracefully administered. The "spiller" insisted they did not intend to give the drink away, but the lucky patron had already begun to drink. As the spiller explained they wanted some sort of compensation for their lost drink, another patron and friend of the lucky fellow intervened to discourage such non-jocular requests. The spiller tried to haggle for at least half of a wooden groat to cover a proportion of their losses in giving an involuntary donation to the lucky, but now less than pleased, patron. This looked like it would lead to a scuffle or at least some foul words exchanged, but the lucky patron and his friend decided to resolve it without using their great brawn, and together shouted this surly fellow another drink. The crestfallen unlucky patron of unwilling benevolence continued to be moody and complain, expressing their discontent, whereupon the two revellers decided to accept any shifts in alignment that would be forthcoming from the fates and beat this man almost to death with their wooden cups (the wood of this region being quite splendid and resilient, bones broke before the cups).
At which point a crowd gathered and looked at the two in confusion, and then a young patron timidly started a brawl with their cousin, who they didn't like very much, but they weren't too bad last winter solstice. This led to others sighing and slowly beginning to participate. Participation was moderate, enthusiasm was low.
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359. The GM said "roll initiative"
360. Flatulence
361. An elven wizard/philosopher has been wandering through the tavern answering everyone with a wry question. "What'll you have?" the bartender intoned with practiced platitude. "What will YOU have sir?" the elf returned. This went on throughout the evening ad nauseum until someone asked him "I know you are, but what am I?" one too many times and the questioner decided to take him to school.
362. The halfling bet the half-orc he could juggle 2 balls with one hand. The half orc ably pointed out the halfling had no balls. The halfling replied "Neither do you" and things escalated from there...
363. Someone brought a knife to a gunfight
364. Cat Scratch Fever
365. Its right here in the Irori Handbook: Monks talk with their fists
386. Hi, my name is Tasselhoff Burrfoot.
387. Somebody tasseled the Halfling barbarian's hair whist saying, "Run along home kid."
388. The bartender asked, "What'll you have?" and everyone so oriented grabbed the closest female.
390. Someone told a Gnome that they'll get a pretty cool experience if they look up a woman's dress.
391. Someone came up to the bards performing that night and requested the wrong song.
393. The admission trial to the local college fraternity is to start a brawl and be the last one standing.
395. Someone is selling special x-ray glasses. The purchaser accidentally dropped them and someone picked em up, looking through them and realising the purchaser's reason for looking so much at her and her friends.
351. FreeholdDM gets a job tending bar at a local watering hole the same Saturday a Firefly convention comes to town.
351A: One hundred Jayne cosplayers, only one replica of Vera. The carnage was inevitable.
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397. You're in Galt, and somebody calls you an oppressor.
398. You're in Galt, and it's been 15 minutes since the last gratuitous, bloody revolution.
399. You're in Galt, and everybody's bored. So how else are you going to find a volunteer for tonight's show of the Final Blade?
400. You're in Galt.
402. Mr. T was in the bar and got into an argument with Mr Rogers.
403. It's a "No shirt, no shoes, no service" establishment, and some typical barbarian heroes want in.
407. The kitsune stole someone's beer, and they have realistic likeness/fox shape.
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409. They don't serve druids here.
410. Suddenly, SQUIRRELS!!!
411. Suddenly, DOOR NINJAS!!!
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412. Suddenly, POTATOES!!!
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406. Somebody's intelligent weapon starts demanding a drink of its own.
414. Two intelligent, dancing weapons get in a dance competition, and each of the owners say "YOU'VE JUST GOT SERVED" to the other.
416. The bartender is charged with serving alcohol to a minor. Said minor is actually a Halfling that's heard one too many short jokes today.
417. The bartender doesn't serve alcohol to a minor. A half-orc barbarian minor.