i am the butt of all sorts of cliche immature innuendo based jokes. all of which, have been used by others in this thread.
one of my iconic characters of the past, was a gothloli fetchling bard who was a countess and a puppeteer.
they made jokes about living dolls and asked how much "Pinnochio" "Charged", made jokes about being "molested" by Gepetto, and a few Rozen Maiden puns were made like "the doll has father issues, guess i will be her sugar daddy."
thus the anemic fetchling countess had 5 male sugar daddies in the party.
Healing can bring some snickers at our table... whenever the Paladin takes time to lay hands on himself, or someone asks for some of the wand...
Healing can bring some snickers at our table... whenever the Paladin takes time to lay hands on himself, or someone asks for some of the wand...
Hahaha! We had a Dhampir Knight of the Sepulcher in one group I was in. He would constantly "Bad Touch" himself to heal. Got so constant, it stopped being a joke, really. Completely slipped my mind until your post.
Oh man, the healing one... I had a newer player playing a Paladin, and wondering about the Lay on Hands ability, ask this question: "So, can I touch myself?" Obviously, after that, Lay on Hands took on an entirely new meaning, and forever after when he needed to heal himself he just said, "I touch myself."
Touch of rage turned into my half orc oracle pulling a pubic hair. Since that is why it took a standard action.
Only a little slip of his tongue?
...
|
This happened when a friend was running a PFS module.
In it the villain was spying on a room thru a peephole.
One of the players get a good enough Perception check to spot the hole in the wall.
GM: You see an eye in the wall.
Player: What color is it.
GM (The villain was a Qadiran) It's a brown eye.
Player I poke his brown eye.
The table cracked up at the exchange. And disrupted several others.
Once had a GM that was terrible at pronunciation he mentioned us walking down a hall with flaming scones on the wall. We took them off and ate them.
One night I totally mangled the pronunciation of: hors d'oeuvres
I will leave it to you to figure out what I really said.
On the 'touching herself' theme, the paladin in my last campaign had a very poor perception and the joke was that every time she failed a perception check it was because she was too busy fondling herself.
Back in 3.5 the group decided to purchase Rings of Communication. One player (the same player as the paladin in the previous example) decided that her (male) character's ring should be placed in an unusual place (in his nether regions). Lots of jokes about talking into the microphone ensued.
Another player had an Arbiter familiar. After noticing it looked a lot like a Golden Snitch it didn't take her long to replace the "i" in snitch with an "a". Then the jokes about her "snitch" touching people to deliver spells ensued.
BTW, my F2F group is primarily female (3 females and 2 males). I have discovered over the course of several decades of gaming that the women are far far worse than the men when it comes to this sort of humor.
- Gauss
Once, while trying to speed a game along, told my players "Long story short, you arrive at your destination without ado."
Barbarian Player: "HOLY @#$#^& WHAT THE @#$^# HAPPENED TO ALL OUR HAIR GUYS!?"
A semi related story:
I have a player who continually insisted upon coming up with creative names for NPCs and organizations and using them in game. A few examples: Eando Kline became the 'Klondike Man' and the Apsis Corporation became 'Shinra'. The fact that I'm very bad at pronouncing some of these names had a tenancy to lead to even more creativity on his part.
I had to start handing out bonus exp to people who stayed in character to get him to stop. Bribing my players with exp felt dirty, but it was worth it.
GM: blahblahblah there's a turret on the roof blahblah...
Player: a what?
GM: a turret.
Player (as Sling Blade guy): you can wipe that off with a tissue.
If a group is bad enough, anything can be innuendo (in your what!?)
For instance, my groups rogue started out with a nice backstory as a forger and spy, but since she insisted on going alone to use diplomacy to gather information, it soon became "diplomacy" and "gather information", wink wink nudge nudge say no more.
If a group is bad enough, anything can be innuendo (in your what!?)
For instance, my groups rogue started out with a nice backstory as a forger and spy, but since she insisted on going alone to use diplomacy to gather information, it soon became "diplomacy" and "gather information", wink wink nudge nudge say no more.
sounds like she was really selling her body for favors. at least it wasn't drugs she wanted.
I once had a GM tell our party that we were following a cavern trail. And to think that I had no idea that caverns were migratory.
I had an another player that was playing a Centaur, mention during a lull that he was chewing his cud. Long live the Centcow, Moooooooooooooooo!
"It's a suppository of infinite power!"
(He meant repository)
