This thread makes me very happy. Both Lamontia's brother and myself as her husband, have been very proud of her as she takes on more and more GMing.
Becoming a GM has been an intimidating process for me, as well. Being able to share the journey with her has been fantastic.
I think at times I am more chappy at the table when I perceive a possible gender bias than Lamontia is, just because she is so dang breezy and cool about it. I always want to make sure that sihe is looked upon as a great player or GM first, with gender having nothing to do with it. She makes this as easy as possible on me by being just as skilled, passionate and excited about our hobby as I am.
And yes Lamontia, I give you sass at the table just to see you blush.
Bro I have to admit for just a moment I wondered if Lamontia was your sockpuppet.
** spoiler omitted **
I have a female player who GMs for a different group. She's a really good GM. I asked her to GM Kingmaker for our group after the current campaign because I wanted someone who would get it right.
Mrs. Bell will mention from time to time that she has thought about trying her hand at GMing. I encourage her but she hasn't made the leap yet.
Yeah, mainly why I wanted to pipe up, so peeps would not think this was just me messing around. I'll just say that I write enough nonsense under my own name to the point that I do not need to make alts.
What Lamontia is doing is important to me, so I'll refrain from my normal forum sass in this thread.
Just for anyone wondering, I'm currently traveling, so of course Lamontia chose that time to make her forum debut. Still, seeing her get this kind of discussion going, as well as the responses she is getting, makes me even more proud of her than I normally am.
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We've just started going to cons this year, actually! I will have to look into Gen Con. That would be fantastic!
I just checked out your profile a few minutes ago, and I have to say that you're pretty awesome! :) I just bought your PFS scenario and I'm looking forward to reading it and GMing it at some point! Also, what contributions did you make to the Animal Archive? I am thinking about running a Carnivalist Rogue with an Ape companion in a Skull and Shackles campaign Lamontius will be running. Much to his chagrin I am determined to have a monkey with a gun. haha. I just keep telling him, I'll play by the rules, but it's totally happening! ;)
Sweet -- if you guys end up going, ping me if you want to meet up! Also, I am probably most likely going to PaizoCon, so if that's closer to you and you're going, that might be an option, too.
I'm so glad to hear you guys picked up Fortress of the Nail. I hope you enjoy it! You'll have to report back what you think. :)
In Animal Archive, I did the spread about awakened animals and their personalities. I think a monkey with a gun is SWEET idea. In fact, I specifically had that in mind when I was writing the primates section. It would be beyond cool to have a carnivalist rogue with a baboon or an ape familiar that wields a blunderbuss. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. A performing monkey with a little hat, jacket ... and a pistol! :)
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(Except for me, but since the kids were born I've only GMed for my kids, so I don't think that counts.)
You better BELIEVE that it counts. I think that fact that you GM for your kids counts MORE. If you have a boys their first GM was their MOM. If you have girls their first GM was their MOM. Their mom is passionate about this creative endeavor there's a high likelyhood that they will at least be interested in the hobby.
That counts for a lot. At least it does where I'm standing.
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We've just started going to cons this year, actually! I will have to look into Gen Con. That would be fantastic!
I just checked out your profile a few minutes ago, and I have to say that you're pretty awesome! :) I just bought your PFS scenario and I'm looking forward to reading it and GMing it at some point! Also, what contributions did you make to the Animal Archive? I am thinking about running a Carnivalist Rogue with an Ape companion in a Skull and Shackles campaign Lamontius will be running. Much to his chagrin I am determined to have a monkey with a gun. haha. I just keep telling him, I'll play by the rules, but it's totally happening! ;)
Sweet -- if you guys end up going, ping me if you want to meet up! Also, I am probably most likely going to PaizoCon, so if that's closer to you and you're going, that might be an option, too.
I'm so glad to hear you guys picked up Fortress of the Nail. I hope you enjoy it! You'll have to report back what you think. :)
In Animal Archive, I did the spread about awakened animals and their personalities. I think a monkey with a gun is SWEET idea. In fact, I specifically had that in mind when I was writing the primates section. It would be beyond cool to have a carnivalist rogue with a baboon or an ape familiar that wields a blunderbuss. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. A performing monkey with a little hat, jacket ... and a pistol! :)
I told Lamontius, "If Whiplash, the Cowboy Monkey can do what he does, I should be able to have a gun monkey!" If you've never seen Whiplash, he's amazing. I might be a little obsessed.;)
http://youtu.be/BYNoQZ5djUA
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I told Lamontius, "If Whiplash, the Cowboy Monkey can do what he does, I should be able to have a gun monkey!" If you've never seen Whiplash, he's amazing. I might be a little obsessed.;)
http://youtu.be/BYNoQZ5djUA
Haha, oh my gosh -- I think I HAVE seen this monkey-on-a-dog thing, but I have NOT seen this commercial! It. Is. Awesome!
Omg stop encouraging her, my skull and shackles game begs you
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Omg stop encouraging her, my skull and shackles game begs youAt least she's not asking for a dog mount for her halfling cavalier ... that happens to look suspiciously primate-like. :D
HAHAHAHA
I Play a Hafling Cavalier riding a dog in our RotRL campaign! I'm totally dying right now! You like, know my life!!I did consider re-skinning the Huntmaster to have a whole PACK of gun monkeys! :D
I dunno if players/GMs make you heal and pressure you that way because youre female, i think it's more because you were "new".
the only time you loose powers as a divine caster is if you shifted to a prohibited alignment,
So you can be a neutral gorum worshipper or a chaotic good one, heck the oracle doesnt even HAVE to worship anyone
I think that was just a table of friends who wanted a lapdog healer.
The only thing I will say about Lamontia getting pressured to heal is that we tend, as players, to play very synergistic characters who make a GM's life miserable in tabletop combat while being as antagonistic as possible in their RP interactions with each other.
She gets pressured, we bring the synergistic murder to their game.
That being said, I love playing healers, so at least in our PFS experiences Lamontia has been spared from even having to deal with the girl-support-class stereotype since for the most part I have fulfilled that perceived role in our games that we have shared.
Oh, ask her about her stabby rogue stabby stabbing a defenseless woman in the presence of my NG cleric of Iomedae.
Talk about marital strife.
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Omg stop encouraging her, my skull and shackles game begs youAt least she's not asking for a dog mount for her halfling cavalier ... that happens to look suspiciously primate-like. :DHAHAHAHA
I Play a Hafling Cavalier riding a dog in our RotRL campaign! I'm totally dying right now! You like, know my life!!I did consider re-skinning the Huntmaster to have a whole PACK of gun monkeys! :D
LOL! What's better than one gun monkey? WHY, A WHOLE PACK OF GUN MONKEYS, OF COURSE!
About healers... Yeah I know a few groups who refuse to go without a healbot. I've done it once, and only once. I was a witch and I wanted to use my blasty spells, but no one else could heal so anytime someone was critically hurt I was on it. After being told I should be on full healer duty and they weren't leveling to a point I got nice things to do outside of healing, I wanted to rebuild. They told me no and I just walked away. Some groups are a little crazy about that whole healing gig, and can't see a class doing more unfortunately.
I've seen many players who are rough on girls. In homegames and pfs. I've also seen lots of players who give great favoritism to friends and ladies at the table and it can really suck the fun out of it when someone's given the spotlight over you for that reason. Forced me out of a group before.
So... about that defenseless woman. Can I get a nice story? I bet she totally deserved it.
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Lamontia
Good luck and carry on. I recently convinced my wife to try it out (PFS - organized play) and she had such a good experience that she even volunteered to GM on the next convention.
I think the most important part for female GMs is
1) they need to be encouraged to try it out
2) you need a good group for the first time to ensure a good experience
From that point onwards it is just experience, willingness to GM and preparation.
Off course the above applies to ALL new GMs. But prejudice can easily prevent 1) and can ruin 2)
You can have a good experience even in an inexperienced group. I've met many people who play the game regularly and have hated being in a group with them, and i've met new players who i've really enjoyed having at the table. People vary greatly.
Encouragement helps greatly, but it looks like your getting quiet a bit of it as far as I can tell. Thats more than I've ever had.
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About healers... Yeah I know a few groups who refuse to go without a healbot. I've done it once, and only once. I was a witch and I wanted to use my blasty spells, but no one else could heal so anytime someone was critically hurt I was on it. After being told I should be on full healer duty and they weren't leveling to a point I got nice things to do outside of healing, I wanted to rebuild. They told me no and I just walked away. Some groups are a little crazy about that whole healing gig, and can't see a class doing more unfortunately.
I've seen many players who are rough on girls. In homegames and pfs. I've also seen lots of players who give great favoritism to friends and ladies at the table and it can really suck the fun out of it when someone's given the spotlight over you for that reason. Forced me out of a group before.
So... about that defenseless woman. Can I get a nice story? I bet she totally deserved it.
Oh, she was filthy Aspis Consortium scum, MrSin! She completely deserved it.
It was a PFS scenario, and she was a master summoner who we probably should have gone the diplomacy route with, but just rolled abysmally! My faction (Sczarni) mission, was flat out to plant some incriminating documents on a semi important member of the Aspis Consortium. This was the last act, so to speak, and I had been asking the GM throughout whether I had come across an opportunity. Well we fought the summoner, convinced her to surrender, and then...The GM reads through his packet and says "Oh, you see that she has a pendant for the Aspis Consortium." He just sort of looks at me, so I asked her if she was a member, she snottily said that she was, so I stabbed that filthy wench in the throat! :D
Seriously, I play good guys most of the time, my cavalier pals around all day with a paladin. It turns out that there was an earlier encounter, which was unavoidable as a combat, and the enemies were Aspis Consortium, but the GM failed to mention it. I suppose I could have forgone the prestige and spared myself from the look of horror Lamontius gave me after that! But all in iall, I regret nothing!! ;)
About healers... Yeah I know a few groups who refuse to go without a healbot. I've done it once, and only once. I was a witch and I wanted to use my blasty spells, but no one else could heal so anytime someone was critically hurt I was on it. After being told I should be on full healer duty and they weren't leveling to a point I got nice things to do outside of healing, I wanted to rebuild. They told me no and I just walked away. Some groups are a little crazy about that whole healing gig, and can't see a class doing more unfortunately.
I've seen many players who are rough on girls. In homegames and pfs. I've also seen lots of players who give great favoritism to friends and ladies at the table and it can really suck the fun out of it when someone's given the spotlight over you for that reason. Forced me out of a group before.
So... about that defenseless woman. Can I get a nice story? I bet she totally deserved it.
Ever since Dragonlance all my clerics (regardless of alignment) seem to come as Dragon High Lord Verminaard (?!)
Lesson here:
1) intimidate them from the very start
2) dont LOOK like a healer
3) if asked to heal, say things like "my god does not look on you favorably this day"
4) DONT heal without being asked
5) throw some damage spells as soon as possible
it will totally change the idea of what people see your character as
why dont you heal me, why do you pay your tithe my son? Here, Ill collect it for you.
Chaotic good or Chaotic neutral channeling positive energy, most. fun. ever.
I don't like evil clerics too much because channeling negative isnt as fun and you dont get spontaneous heals when ever you really need them.
but I could get into the gig of commanding undead to do my bidding... open that trapped door MINION.
The idea is to NOT not heal, but to establish yourself as a dominate figure in the party (most likely the leader/caller) and use the healing abilty as leverage, not a vending machine with a broken quarter slot.
the Gorum Cleric/Oracle is a very good angle for this. Cayden Calien fits fine as does calistria.
You know, attacking aspis in broad daylight and monkey with a blunderbuss where both examples of what to do moments for a GM 101 session...
I understand entirely now! I think my biggest regret is not blowing up a tower and collapsing the entire dungeon when a DM gave the the chance. Sure it was suicide, but it would have been glorious(lvl 1 alchemist)!
It sounds in the least being at a table should be fun. I've also met a lot of sticks in the mud... I have a lot of complaints don't I? Regardless, lots of things to watch out for.
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You can have a good experience even in an inexperienced group. I've met many people who play the game regularly and have hated being in a group with them, and i've met new players who i've really enjoyed having at the table. People vary greatly.
Encouragement helps greatly, but it looks like your getting quiet a bit of it as far as I can tell. Thats more than I've ever had.
Totally! Some of the worst players I have ever played with have been extremely long time gamers. Like the guy that totally went off on me for not healing him...probably the worst player I have ever met.
On the flip side, when we ran the beginner box for my family, my sister, brother-in-law and most surprising of all, my MOM, were just truly fantastic. Lamontius GMed and I played, while helping to shoulder a lot of the explanations, etc. I put on an accent to model some fun RP, and my sister was just on board with it! My mom played "Mad Maggie" the barbarian, and RPed this totally salty broad with a penchant for murder. Good times! They were all really into utilizing their skills and special abilities...I knew my family was awesome, but I was just blown away! So fun!
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We've just started going to cons this year, actually! I will have to look into Gen Con. That would be fantastic!
I just checked out your profile a few minutes ago, and I have to say that you're pretty awesome! :) I just bought your PFS scenario and I'm looking forward to reading it and GMing it at some point! Also, what contributions did you make to the Animal Archive? I am thinking about running a Carnivalist Rogue with an Ape companion in a Skull and Shackles campaign Lamontius will be running. Much to his chagrin I am determined to have a monkey with a gun. haha. I just keep telling him, I'll play by the rules, but it's totally happening! ;)
Sweet -- if you guys end up going, ping me if you want to meet up! Also, I am probably most likely going to PaizoCon, so if that's closer to you and you're going, that might be an option, too.
I'm so glad to hear you guys picked up Fortress of the Nail. I hope you enjoy it! You'll have to report back what you think. :)
In Animal Archive, I did the spread about awakened animals and their personalities. I think a monkey with a gun is SWEET idea. In fact, I specifically had that in mind when I was writing the primates section. It would be beyond cool to have a carnivalist rogue with a baboon or an ape familiar that wields a blunderbuss. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. A performing monkey with a little hat, jacket ... and a pistol! :)
Hee. I have a vanara monk/gunslinger (John Woo style!); I haven't got much chance to play him recently, though... His name is Brother Singe. Monkeys! Guns! Yay!
Yea, really who expects mom to whip out "Mad Maggie" on them! lol.
Feamle barbarians played by female players are always the best!
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Hee. I have a vanara monk/gunslinger (John Woo style!); I haven't got much chance to play him recently, though... His name is Brother Singe. Monkeys! Guns! Yay!We've just started going to cons this year, actually! I will have to look into Gen Con. That would be fantastic!
I just checked out your profile a few minutes ago, and I have to say that you're pretty awesome! :) I just bought your PFS scenario and I'm looking forward to reading it and GMing it at some point! Also, what contributions did you make to the Animal Archive? I am thinking about running a Carnivalist Rogue with an Ape companion in a Skull and Shackles campaign Lamontius will be running. Much to his chagrin I am determined to have a monkey with a gun. haha. I just keep telling him, I'll play by the rules, but it's totally happening! ;)
Sweet -- if you guys end up going, ping me if you want to meet up! Also, I am probably most likely going to PaizoCon, so if that's closer to you and you're going, that might be an option, too.
I'm so glad to hear you guys picked up Fortress of the Nail. I hope you enjoy it! You'll have to report back what you think. :)
In Animal Archive, I did the spread about awakened animals and their personalities. I think a monkey with a gun is SWEET idea. In fact, I specifically had that in mind when I was writing the primates section. It would be beyond cool to have a carnivalist rogue with a baboon or an ape familiar that wields a blunderbuss. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. A performing monkey with a little hat, jacket ... and a pistol! :)
:D My friend is going to be running a vanara monk with a peg leg in Skull and Shackles! Oh monkeys!! I love you!
I had basically no idea what I was going to roll up at first, all I knew is that I had to have a monkey!
Oddly enough my brothers old group(all male, under 20) did invite a girl. She played a barbarian. She was one of the most disconnected players I've seen and was not interested in making choices, playing her character, or doing much besides texting.
Guess I've never seen a woman play a barbarian though. At the Local Gaming Store its mostly been Druid/Witch/Cleric/Sorc... You see the pattern?
This thread, once again, makes me very very happy.
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As a player, what are your thoughts on female GMs? Have you had one? Ho was it? Why do you think there are so few?
No problem with them. I've played under Liz Courts, and my wife started gaming when her friends handed her the 2nd Edition books and said 'we want you to run this game for us'. I don't see it as any different than a male GM.
And once again TOZ has my axe.
I think you're awesome too, which is the whole point of this thread, my love.
And once again TOZ has my axe.I have no idea what that means, but I still think you're awesome. :)
It's a reference to LOTR: Fellowship of the ring, I believe. During the forming of the fellowship, Gimli pledges to defend Frodo and join the fellowship by saying "...you have my axe"
It's a reference to LOTR: Fellowship of the ring, I believe. During the forming of the fellowship, Gimli pledges to defend Frodo and join the fellowship by saying "...you have my axe"And once again TOZ has my axe.I have no idea what that means, but I still think you're awesome. :)
Yep, pretty much.
My feelings on female GMs... The more the better, it keeps our hobby fresh and alive.
Getting women to GM - be supportive and encouraging.
Being pressured to be the healer... Way back in 1E and 2E days I was always pressured to be the Cleric
"T8D you are going to play the Cleric this game.... "
"But guys I played the Cleric the last three games can I play a Cav or a pally"
"Nope you are the best at playing a cleric, you know when to heal and you don't play favourites"
Even shadowrun I had to take healing spells.
We had a female player at the table at that time, it's not gender focused. That and if they tried pressuring her into playing something she didn't want she would tell them to get lost in the rudest way possible.
When I was new to GMing the guys all had their rule books at the table and looked anything I sounded unsure about up, for my first few games was all the time. I thought what they were doing was fair as it was helping me get my GMing right.
When I sounded confident they put their books away... Even when I was making stuff up on the fly and hand waving stuff if I sounded confident they were fine.
I wonder if your worry about being judged because you are female relates to a perception that men are judging you because you are female rather than the fact that they are judging you because you are new.
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As a player, what are your thoughts on female GMs? Have you had one? Ho was it? Why do you think there are so few?
The last time I had a female GM, I married her.
We're still going strong.
My old gaming group from the 90's was about 50/50 men and women. Gender never really played a factor in class chosen.
Most of my old group settled into pairs and married.
And once again TOZ has my axe.I have no idea what that means, but I still think you're awesome. :)It means he has joined me at my court in Camelot.
It is a silly place.
And yet that is basically perfect for me.
Hi5
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Sweet -- if you guys end up going, ping me if you want to meet up! Also, I am probably most likely going to PaizoCon, so if that's closer to you and you're going, that might be an option, too.
Argh! PaizoCon is closer, we live in So Cal, but I have a family reunion that weekend!
We'll try to work out how to make GenCon! It sounds like it will be awesome!
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I have never had a female GM in Pathfinder, I have had one in Legend of the Five Rings and she was phenomenal. In my experience though the biggest issue for a female GM would be a female player. After my time in the military I have come to the conclusion that females find it hard to get along with each other. Its an unfortunate truth that I know can be hard to swallow.
Sorry for the thread-resurrection, but I read an article this week that perfectly echoed this comment.
This is a great example of how/why stereotypes get started. We tend to see members of our own group (or the overall majority group) as individuals, while we see people from a different or minority group as representative of all members of that group. Throw in a little confirmation bias, and suddenly you have a stereotype. (I think xkcd has the best illustration of this, ever: http://xkcd.com/385/)
I suspect that the poster has also seen a lot of men who couldn't get along with each other but concluded (correctly) that "those particular individuals don't get along". However, seeing two women who can't get along with each other becomes "all women find it hard to get along with each other."
The article I read was "why don't business women help/mentor their junior women?" It goes on and on about the "queen bee" attitude and how powerful women cut out competition and keep other women down. Of course, a whole lot of powerful men do exactly the same thing to their juniors, but nobody ever sees that as a comment on "men in general", just "this jerk of a boss I had" or "the particular men at this really competitive company".
This all ties in to the female players and female gms discussion, because female players and gms are still a small enough minority to trigger this generalized thinking. Since most of us make these generalizations without even realizing it, I was really glad to see how many people responded with comments on individuals without making them representative models or stereotypes.
I'm not sure if it's Paizo, or Pathfinder, or PFS, or just these forums, but I have been really impressed with the lack of sexism in this community. I'm very, very happy I stumbled on this group.
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I'm one of those 30+ years RPG players.
I think the increase in female players and GMs is one of the best ways that our hobby has evolved in that time.
Unfortunately, I have had few women in my home games - few players and never as a GM (tho that may be because I GM in 80% of my games).
I was fortunate enough to get into a few play-by-post games on these boards with Rev Rosey - one of the best GMs I have ever had. A great story teller who kept the game moving. She even made me like a game system that I wasn't a big fan of.
Most of my exposure to female GMs has been at conventions. I've had good & bad female GMs, though I would say they tend more towards the upper middle compared to the male GMs I've had to deal with.
One other perspective I wanted to raise. As a former Venture-Captain for PFS, and somebody who did a lot of marshalling in the early days of the Society at Gen Con, I'm always impressed by the dedication I've seen from the women who do GM. Whether or not I've been fortunate enough to sit at their tables, I've always been surprised by, and grateful for, the number of sessions some of the women can be counted on for... people like Thea Peters, Robyn Nixon, Nani Pratt, Lora Massey... every one of them is a Gamemastering beast :)
Our group actually has a good number of female players at the moment, fully half of our players in each game. Heck, the Sunday game would be 3/5 female, except the third female player is having some major health problems with her heart lately and hasn't been able to game.
Actually, thinking back, I haven't been in or run a game without at least one female player since ...well, ever. Huh.
That's pretty cool, now that I stop to think about it.
Anyhow, despite having so many female players, only once have we had one of them GM. 2 of our current female players are pretty new to the game, 1 has the aforementioned health problems, and another player has toyed off and on with the idea of running a game of 'tales from the floating vagabond,' but she never really seems to get started on it. I think she's the type mentioned a few times earlier in thread, that puts the gm on a pedestal of sorts. I don't think for a moment that she couldn't study up a bit and run a game if she wanted to.
The last player is a bit of an oddball. She tends to be more character driven than mechanics in general, though she makes... strange decisions sometimes. Very impulsive.
She decided that she would run a game of shadowrun, when at the table only one player had ever played shadowrun before. The rest of us were fairly eager for a change of pace from Pathfinder, so we were eager for the game, and encouraging. This was probably mistake #1.
It was a very strange game. The mechanics we were all a bit fuzzy on so a lot of things had to be looked up at the table the first (and second and third) times they came up.
She was a bit nervous GMing for the first time and often sought my council. I did my best. She was very good at making NPC's and their backgrounds. She always knew who her NPC's were and why they were there or doing their things.
But the things they were doing didn't always make sense.
One criticism I have for her game was that she refused to look up any source material establishing the world, despite it nominally being set in the shadowrun 'verse. There was some MAJOR tone dissonance in the world, to put it lightly.
I think the major issue though was that throughout the whole game we felt like observers.
The first story arc was pretty bad for this, where the climactic scene after a convoluted investigation that ended in a complete dead end with 0 clues for what was the plot we were interested in, involved us convincing one NPC to confront another. Then we watched the aftermath as they had a heart to heart, emotional discussion. A GM must tell a story of course, but it would have been nice if any players were part of it.
The 2nd arc was bogged down by a GM designed major party split, a very die hard 1 scenario where half the table ended up basically not doing anything for 3 sessions. Finally, we tried just ordering the enemies to surrender and ... 2/3rds of them did. Oh...
The 3rd arc was quite successful! We all loved it, and the only odd part was a bizarre bit at the beginning that it turns out was foreshadowing for arc 4.
Wherein everything went crazy. We were teleported outside of the universe to meet a near omnipotent multidimensional being who needed our help to clear a zombie virus from his earth simulation program because last time he tried it wiped out the dinosaurs and he has trouble perceiving the earth on such a small scale...
The table revolted. I think the sentiment of the game and the note it ended on is summed up when one player said "You took away our Agency." Taken overall, I think the campaign was a disappointment. We will still cherish the high points though :)
A lot of other things went wrong too, I guess. That was a year ago. For a while I didn't think she was ever going to GM again, but now she's preparing to run a pathfinder game for some complete newbies. Honestly, I think she's a bit intimidated by her past experience GMing and not ready to GM for experienced players again yet. I'm helping her out as best I can, and I hope this game goes better for her than the last.
Writing this all down actually gives me some good ideas to suggest to her too :)
That was a lot longer than I expected and went a bit off topic, sorry. For GMing in general I think there's a lot of expectation from players that GMing is harder than it actually is. I'll be the first to admit that I put at least double the hours preparing than we actually do playing when I GM, but I wish there was a way to show how rewarding it all is. I hope the female players don't have the impression that the GM screen and chair is a boys zone.
Hopefully our female players will be up for some more GMing soon :)
Huh... Now I feel wierd for never being in a homegroup with a girl before. Girl GMPC sure, but not a girl ever.
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Late to this--I've been avoiding Gamer Talk a lot lately, oddly enough to keep out some of the other "women and gaming" threads. Nice to see a largely positive thread for once (I say largely only because I haven't read the whole thread so am allowing for something I didn't read).
I recently Gmed my first PFS game and it was awesome (with total backing from my awesome husband)! I had a great time, and I can say confidently that the players did as well.
Hooray!
As a player, what are your thoughts on female GMs?
They are delicious. No, wait, wrong question. The correct answer to this question is: I like them, I am one, and I want to see more of us.
Have you had one? How was it? Why do you think there are so few?
If you are a female GM, do you feel like you have been met with any additional challenges? Was it a leap for you to get your start?
When I first developed an interest in RPGs as a preteen, I couldn't even become a female PLAYER. The only people I knew who played D&D were guys in my class and when I asked them if I could join them, they stared at me like I was a freak and then all literally turned their backs on me and refused to talk to me. These were guys who I wasn't necessarily friends with but we'd shared no prior animosity; they were irritated that as a girl, I had asked to join their gaming group. So early experience as girl gamer: bad.
College was an entirely different experience. But in part that was because I went to a school that once upon a time had been an all-female school. It had been coed not quite 10 years and was about 70-30 female to male. Although interestingly, when I joined, the gaming club was still largely male dominated, but during the years I was there, that dramatically changed to where the demographics of the gaming club matched more or less that of the school (a lot of the men in the gaming club my freshman year were seniors, and when they graduated, incoming classes filled it in with a lot of female underclassmen). So there were a lot of women players and a few GMs--one in particular who was excellent, and who inspired me to try GMing myself.
Despite the weird demographics, no one really responded to a male or female GM differently. Just, "you're running a game, cool, can I play?"
In grad school, the gaming club at that university was more male dominated, but I ran games and I recall at least one other woman in the group who ran. I had no sense of difference between being male or female gamers. Only one guy in my group ever made a comment to me negatively about female gamers and he was chastised by both me and the rest of the (male) group.
My circle of friends these days are largely of gamers, and I would say are 50/50 gender split and there are many female GMs. So that's part of our world. Not much in our group is thought of whether the GM is male or female.
I know in many places, however, that is not the case.
I used to run Pathfinder demos at our FLGS (well, FLCS that sells some games) when they still had gaming events. I was the only woman running a table. I will note something interesting: while we got a lot of women showing up, I got the most women coming to my table for an RPG. I.e., there was a fair number of women at the gaming events, but most of them went for the board games. The women who went for the RPGs went for my table if I was running. This wasn't always true every second, but I noticed the trend. I'm not sure if they were more drawn to my table because the person running it was a woman, or they just really didn't want to play 4th Ed or Savage Worlds. Or of course it could have been just my naturally alluring charisma. ;)
I really would like to see more female GMs REPRESENTED. I hear all the time about home groups like mine having female GMs. But when I see pictures of gamers or videos or other representations in the media, the GM is almost always male.
In other discussions on the board, I've heard women say or women quoted that they aren't interested in GMing because while they'd like to, they are often newer to the system and don't feel comfortable running. Others say they would prefer just focusing on their character. Others still do GM. I think seeing more female GMs would help encourage the ones who'd consider it to realize at some point you've just got to take the plunge (we can always feel like we can learn/apply the rules better/more, that never changes no matter how much you play or GM).
I can tell you, as much as I love GMing, I've thought about running a PBP here, but I do truly fear harassment here because I am a woman and that in part has kept me from doing it. While the vast majority of people in this community are lovely welcoming folk, there are a few rotten apples that can spoil the group, and yes, I actually am afraid of them and their trying to ruin things for me. Though I might be flattering myself by thinking they'd pay any attention to me at all, so to speak.
I'm a guy so this is coming from that perspective.
I have had a few female GM's. Every single one of them has been very good. Without exception. Did they make mistakes? Of course, we all do. Did they know every single permutation of every rule in umpteen books? Of course not, nobody does. I was completely satisfied with how they ran their table and game.
I can not say the same about male GM’s. They have run the gamut from excellent to unbelievably bad.
Why are there so few female GM’s? Some of the possible reasons seem obvious, some not so much.
- Still male dominated hobby even though it is less extreme than it used to be. I have no idea of the actual figures, but I would bet at least 5 to 1 at the events I have attended. So since only a small percentage of players are willing to GM, you are pulling that small percentage from a smaller number.
- This is a bad reason. But I have seen a few people become the GM because they are complete control freaks. They feel a burning need to be in charge of it all. I have no figures to confirm it, but I have personally met fewer females than males that are control freaks.
- Females seem to be a bit less comfortable putting themselves forward in social situations especially if outnumbered by males. This is by no means universal. I personally am pretty shy and have to really push myself to do things like this.
- I have heard several females say “I don’t know the rules well enough yet to be GM.” But from what I have seen, they know the rules at least as well as many guys who will say, “I have it down good enough to give it a try.” Not sure if you would call this confidence or arrogance, but guys tend to have it more than gals.
I will not get into a ‘nature vs nurture’ debate on these, but it is what I have observed. I think that is unfortunate. Since we are all losing out on some of their contribution to this hobby we all love.
I would encourage everyone (female or male) who has even a middlin understanding of the rules to at least give being the GM a try. Personally I think PFS is an excellent opportunity for this. If you find you didn’t enjoy it, you haven’t committed to a campaign. If you horribly embarrass yourself, guess what? So what, it was likely a bunch of strangers that you might never talk to again. So who cares?
GO GUUURRRRRLLLLL!!! I say do it. Today! I think that every woman in our two groups would make a better GM than the guys. And I'm the GM! LOL
Defenseless women? Well...
"So, we know you're involved. You are alone. We need you to tell us what you know about this operation we just blew up."
"I will NEVER tell you anything."
"Okay. Then I have no further need for you."
*BLAM*
Moral: Please, NPCs, for your own safety, listen when the very angry and rather high PC tells you what she needs from you.
As a player, what are your thoughts on female GMs? Have you had one? Ho was it? Why do you think there are so few?
If you are a female GM, do you feel like you have been met with any additional challenges? Was it a leap for you to get your start?
If you are a female player, have you considered GMing, and if not, why not?
Thanks, All!
Just curious! :)
As a player I have had a few female GMs (my best friend being one). As to why so few? I would only be guessing... but I suspect it is because of the social stigma of playing table top RPGs. Peer pressure can be huge. This is why I gamed in the privacy of my own home and never discussed the game openly till college because by that point I had moved on from the mean girl cheerleader friends I was hanging with and started finding new friends again, ones who valued me because I was smart not because I was athletic. That and gaming didn't have as big a negative association by then, a geek girl had become a positive label and people treated my gaming more like a cute quirk. So I got to do a lot of gaming in college with a lot of different groups. I got to GM for more then my brother and his creepy friend. I learned a lot and grew. I don't know if it STILL is as bad a thing in high school to be a gamer... but you worked at joining a clique or end up as an outcast. Public high school was a very evil place. I suspect that is why socially conscious girls don't openly game... but it would just be a guess.
I can tell you, as much as I love GMing, I've thought about running a PBP here, but I do truly fear harassment here because I am a woman and that in part has kept me from doing it. While the vast majority of people in this community are lovely welcoming folk, there are a few rotten apples that can spoil the group, and yes, I actually am afraid of them and their trying to ruin things for me. Though I might be flattering myself by thinking they'd pay any attention to me at all, so to speak.
If you decide to run a PbP here, please shoot me a message!