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It was KahnyaGnorc. She owns an asbestos mine in The Barrens of Kalimdor. Yes, that The Barrens of Kalimdor. Gold farmers have been pumping so much earthly money into World of Warcraft that World of Warcraft has finally become able - and quite willing - to start sending things the other direction, as long as it's toxic to people and the environment, because that's only fair.
IHIYC's jester's cap covers a surprising secret
GoatToucher has a jester's codpiece, and a cod's jester-piece.
KahnyaGnorc performs an internal molting once a year. They find a remote spot where they can be safe from predators and spend several days defecating all of their internal organs. Unfortunately, they have not evolved an exceptionally pliant anus to accommodate larger organs like the liver, so the second day of the molt consists of up to twelve hours of prolonged shrieking, followed by several hours of weeping.
GoatToucher was once swallowed whole by a giant flytrap. Eight years later, that flytrap is still seeing a psychotherapist.
The count is actually a ketchup bottle drinker.
Dr G House MD is the spokesperson for a hemorrhoid cream company ... "I am not just a spokesperson I am a client."
KahnyaGnorc is actually a solo bassoon rendition of 'Stars Fell On Alabama'
IHIYC is actually the Blessed Kluphooniding Goldstein, Zoopwango's saintly brother.
KahnyaGnoc is figuratively filled with the flavor of rich, Colombian coffee. They are literally filled with organs and fluids.
GoatToucher only has one use for Colombian coffee.
KahynaGnorc was running down the road trying to loosen his load. Prunes might help.
Life in the Fast Lane.
Schism... Well, let's just say that they put Milton Berle to shame.
KahnyaGnorc has developed a specialist ointment for George Burns.
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Pulg has a nasty case of piles, and bought a prescription strength suppository to soothe them, but he simply cannot find his anus.
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KahnyaGnorc has replaced his with a portable hole
"Portable hole" was Pulg's nickname in college.
He did not have a positive fraternity experience.
Or did he?
The Count dated the captain of the football team through junior and senior years. He taught the other sorority girls how to best use their [REDACTED] to please a man.
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GoatToucher spend years as editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine. It was a period like none before or since for the publication, leaving a legacy of such scandalous and groundbreaking articles as:
"10 Tricks That Will Drive Oman Crazy"
"7 Surefire Ways to End Any Relationship With Oman"
"21 Secret Maneuvers That Will Leave Oman Begging for More"
"6 Warning Signs Oman Has Lost Interest"
"Getting the Most Mileage Out of Oman's Natural Juices"
"What Can Change the Nature of Oman?"
IHIYC was crowned as the Sacred King of 'Woman and Home' magazine. For seven years, he lived as a woman; for seven years, he pretended to be a house; for seven years, he ate porridge, and then he was sacrificed to the gods in order to ensure a rich harvest of Scandi Boho living room designs.
Pulg used to be a spokes(man) for the Hair for Men Club, until he decided to go au-natural.
When fried, Schism tastes like prosciutto wrapped chicken breast.
KahnyaGnorc made well over $32 million last year.
High G has earned a living for years in Catskill Mountains resorts as 'Parpo: the Human Tuba'
Count Heydrich was squealing with delight when he read it.
KahnyaGnorc has a Pation of Cure Medium Waunds for sale. He will be very embarrassed if you happen to ask him what either a 'pation' or a 'waund' is.