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Greetings, Treerazer.
I come here representing my interdimensional merchant house.
I was wondering if perhaps you would prefer to sample some our wares for possible future purchase.
Would something such as this lower end model be to your liking?
Or, perhaps you would prefer to check out our high end model
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You and your friend probably taste vile, but I'd consume your flesh and bones and soul just to spite you so it doesn't matter what you taste like.Dear Pustulent Blot on the Multiverse(AKA Treerazer),
A colleague of mine is of the opinion that your head would make a fine trophy to present to our lord Asmodeus. I feel that he would be insulted by such an insignificant offering. I'm curious as to your "thoughts", such as they are, on the matter.
See, I told my colleague that it would be better to bring you bound and chained before Asmodeus to act as the new court fool of Nessus.
Thank you for convincing him.
My guess: Your silly little devil pal Asmodeus put the thought of trying to defeat me in your head so that I'll kill you and your souls will slide on down into Hell for him to fool around with. Joke's on him when I don't let you die!
Mwa ha ha!
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Greetings, Treerazer.
I come here representing my interdimensional merchant house.
I was wondering if perhaps you would prefer to sample some our wares for possible future purchase.
Would something such as this lower end model be to your liking?
Or, perhaps you would prefer to check out our high end model
I am intrigued. How do those tools work against Asmodeus lackeys, I wonder?
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Perfectly fine - just adjust the metal used in construction accordingly. While expensive, mithral is remarkably efficacious.
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I am intrigued. How do those tools work against Asmodeus lackeys, I wonder?Greetings, Treerazer.
I come here representing my interdimensional merchant house.
I was wondering if perhaps you would prefer to sample some our wares for possible future purchase.
Would something such as this lower end model be to your liking?
Or, perhaps you would prefer to check out our high end model
With proper eqipping (adding silver plus enchantments) the former model can be very effective against denizens of the infernal planes.
The daisy cutter would probably not be so effective against devils due to it being a fuel air explosion and thus fire which the devils would be immune to.
It is quite possible that one of our nuclear devices would be quivalent to fires of heaven (similar to superpowered flamestrike) and thus inflict massive damage upon even archdevils and such.
But, I think it might be simpler to use something such as the A-10 Warthog. With proper ammunition (silver or perhaps depleted uranium) they would inflict immense damage upon such creatures.
Our A-10 stock is beginning to age and can thus be gotten at reduced rates. However, your demon minions will need solid training to use them and that expense may add up.
However, for a finder's fee, we could probably put you in contact with an interdimensional mercenary company who specializes in such endeavors.
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You and your friend probably taste vile, but I'd consume your flesh and bones and soul just to spite you so it doesn't matter what you taste like.Dear Pustulent Blot on the Multiverse(AKA Treerazer),
A colleague of mine is of the opinion that your head would make a fine trophy to present to our lord Asmodeus. I feel that he would be insulted by such an insignificant offering. I'm curious as to your "thoughts", such as they are, on the matter.
See, I told my colleague that it would be better to bring you bound and chained before Asmodeus to act as the new court fool of Nessus.
Thank you for convincing him.
My guess: Your silly little devil pal Asmodeus put the thought of trying to defeat me in your head so that I'll kill you and your souls will slide on down into Hell for him to fool around with. Joke's on him when I don't let you die!
Mwa ha ha!
Assuming this boast isn't simply a collection of random sounds that just happened to form words as they spewed from your babbling mouth alongside drool and elf flesh, then I doubt it. What do I have to fear from someone who can't even manage a proper evil laugh?
Still, you've touched, however slightly and no doubt accidentally, on some truth; the Prince of Darkness will claim all souls, in time. Yours before mine, I wager.
Oh, and a piece of friendly advice; be cautious(an alien concept to a demonic creature such as yourself, I'm sure) when dealing with interdimensional merchants. They have a nasty habit of double dealing.
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Succubi are flexible in more ways than one I hear. They should excel as A-10 Warthog pilots...
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Dear treerazer,
I'm thinking of making an adventure with you as the end boss. I was wondering where I should have this game and I was hoping you could give me some tips. Where do you live and do you have any plans in motion at the moment. I would like the game to take place in kyonin so you can eat plenty of elves and kill trees, is your home anywhere near there?
Sincerely, cdkc
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Dear treerazer,
I'm thinking of making an adventure with you as the end boss. I was wondering where I should have this game and I was hoping you could give me some tips. Where do you live and do you have any plans in motion at the moment. I would like the game to take place in kyonin so you can eat plenty of elves and kill trees, is your home anywhere near there?
Sincerely, cdkc
I live in Tanglebriar, and I"ve got plenty of plans in motion. Tanglebriar is right there in Kyonin, and I'm already eating plenty of elves.
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Where have you been?
Also, how come you don't grant the Scalykind domain?
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Where have you been?
Also, how come you don't grant the Scalykind domain?
Been here and there.
And because scalykind is for dragons and nagas and other pansies.
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You bastard! You killed my mother! I swear if its the last thing I do, I will put you down! After I become Mythic in a few months, you will pay. Are you scared?
Nope. If you rush, you can see your mother's face. I've got it on display down in the rumpus room. Might eat it soon though. It pickled up nicely and looks delicious.
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Are you worried about death, being bound to Golarion and all?
Nope. I'm too awesome to die. And if I do, I've got plenty of minions who know they'd better be using magic to bring me back to life. One of the nice benefits... probably the ONLY benefit... of being exiled to this backwater clot of dirt you all call home is that I can be brought back from death a LOT easier.
Not that I'll ever need that.
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Where have you been?
Also, how come you don't grant the Scalykind domain?
Been here and there.
And because scalykind is for dragons and nagas and other pansies.
But you look like a dragon... hmm.
What is your opinion on Rovagug?
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1)Is going to the Worldwound like going to Disneyland if you're a demon?
2)Speaking of which, what's your opinion of Deskari and the whole "giant rift to the abyss" business model? It's surely gaining a lot of capital and popularity amongst the demon hosts, but I'm sure being in a giant supernaturally corrupt forest has its perks too..
3)Finally, what's the end goal once you've completely taken Kyonin and eaten all the elves? Expand into Razmiran? Buy real estate on The Isle of Terror? Start trade relations with Galt?
Thanks!
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Dear Mr. Treeraiser:
Have you ever been to Castrovel, to devour any Elves?
If so, could you describe the difference in flavor?
On another note... what do you think about the Lashunta?
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Do you even know what a Lashunta is?
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Dear Mr. Treerazer,
Do you have a special demon that you like to cuddle next to, but should they fail you, you'd eat them without blinking? If so, how was your first date? Also, who paid at the end of the date?
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I WAKEN!
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But if they do nothing, you'd die permanently?
*takes notes*
That doesn't make sense. Expect retribution soon.
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Where have you been?
Also, how come you don't grant the Scalykind domain?
Been here and there.
And because scalykind is for dragons and nagas and other pansies.
But you look like a dragon... hmm.
What is your opinion on Rovagug?
Dragons, if anything, look like me. I look better than them.
Rovagug got what he deserved. I'm not afraid of him.
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1)Is going to the Worldwound like going to Disneyland if you're a demon?
2)Speaking of which, what's your opinion of Deskari and the whole "giant rift to the abyss" business model? It's surely gaining a lot of capital and popularity amongst the demon hosts, but I'm sure being in a giant supernaturally corrupt forest has its perks too..
3)Finally, what's the end goal once you've completely taken Kyonin and eaten all the elves? Expand into Razmiran? Buy real estate on The Isle of Terror? Start trade relations with Galt?
Thanks!
1) No. What's Disneyland? Sounds like a good place to conquer and destroy and savage for resources.
2) Deskari is a pansy. He's doing it in a way that gets all the wrong attention at the wrong time. He needs to learn subtlety.
3) I'm sure I don't share that information with worm-faced people. Nice try though.
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Dear Mr. Treeraiser:
Have you ever been to Castrovel, to devour any Elves?
If so, could you describe the difference in flavor?On another note... what do you think about the Lashunta?
No. Not yet.
Lashunta are delicious.
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Do you even know what a Lashunta is?
Yes.
You'll note that I have an Intelligence score of 21. That's probably higher than yours, and you know about Lashuntas, so therefore of COURSE I know about them. Prepare for retribution.
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Dear Mr. Treerazer,
Do you have a special demon that you like to cuddle next to, but should they fail you, you'd eat them without blinking? If so, how was your first date? Also, who paid at the end of the date?
Cuddles are for the weak. Dates are for the lonely. Paying for anything is for fools.
I am not weak, lonely, or a fool.
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I know it's been over a year since the last question so this'd be a helluva necro, but I was wondering if you ever run into the other nascent demon lords like Izyagna or Nightripper? If so, how are they doing and what are they up to? If not, why?
Also, the best name you could come up for your weapon is Blackaxe? Really?
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Oh Most Mighty And Merciless Mauler, this far-too-small-to-make-a-satisfying-meal creature begs your indulgence...
If I were to erect a crude shrine in your honor aboard a Totally Seaworthy Vessel (okay, it's basically rotting into a swamp... somewhere. Maps involve reading, and you KNOW that's a non-starter!), how do you like your elves sacrificed? Besides "in mass quantities," I mean...
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Dear Treerazer,
If you were an ice cream flavor, what flavor would you be?
Most destructive Treerazor,
I hear you want to gain power and destroy your father and the elves.
Well, see, I know a guy. He happens to be looking for a demon to enbiggen, to help destroy elves and take out your pa, you know? See where I'm going with this?
But here's the deal: to make the formula just right, he kinda needs to know more about the circumstances of your "start" as it were, ya dig?
We heard of your Pop... but how? Did you just, I'unno, "Pop" into existence from him? Did he imprison and torture you to turn you into the fine specimen of utter waste and destruction you are today (well, obviously not, you did that part, but, you know what I mean)? Or was there some unholy concoction of abyssal and elven juices that your ol' pater-jerk-face spit in (or whatever) to get you started (even if it was on accident - though, in truth, they say you're too impressive not to exist, so it could just be incidental that the jerk happens to be vaguely related to you). Or did you just use it to get more power and really are unrelated? What did you use (and prob'ly rip apart) to start yourself on your epic journey toward the impressive destructive entity you are today?
Also, were it possible, would you appreciate someone interested in strengthening your Blackaxe, only to be immediately devoured by you? I know another guy...
... if so, how was it crafted, if you know...?
These guys both wanna mention they're faithfully yours 'til you devour them and everything else.
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I know it's been over a year since the last question so this'd be a helluva necro, but I was wondering if you ever run into the other nascent demon lords like Izyagna or Nightripper? If so, how are they doing and what are they up to? If not, why?
Also, the best name you could come up for your weapon is Blackaxe? Really?
RARRRGH! I was enjoying a year long nap. WHO HAS AWOKEN ME?
Those other nascent demon lords are cowards who hide out in caves on the Abyss and huddle under the skirts of their demonic patrons. They are meaningless and irrelevant, and they know it. If they DO cross my paths, they'd best do it in a way that pleases me and serves me, otherwise I'll destroy them. And they know this.
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Oh Most Mighty And Merciless Mauler, this far-too-small-to-make-a-satisfying-meal creature begs your indulgence...
If I were to erect a crude shrine in your honor aboard a Totally Seaworthy Vessel (okay, it's basically rotting into a swamp... somewhere. Maps involve reading, and you KNOW that's a non-starter!), how do you like your elves sacrificed? Besides "in mass quantities," I mean...
While I am furious at being awoken, your properly deferential greeting has soothed my fury for the moment.
I prefer sacrifices to be made while the elf is still living. Keep the thing alive as long as possible. Use filthy blades or diseased bones or moldy slivers of wood to flense, wound, or perform minor amputations. The extremities are a good place to start, since the point is to let gangrene set in and slowly putrefy the elf. Death should occur as long after the process begins as possible, preferably by sepsis or infection and NOT from the result of a wound being delivered. Make sure you enjoy eating the decayed flesh. Feed it to the elf if you want.
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Most destructive Treerazor,
I hear you want to gain power and destroy your father and the elves.
Well, see, I know a guy. He happens to be looking for a demon to enbiggen, to help destroy elves and take out your pa, you know? See where I'm going with this?
But here's the deal: to make the formula just right, he kinda needs to know more about the circumstances of your "start" as it were, ya dig?
We heard of your Pop... but how? Did you just, I'unno, "Pop" into existence from him? Did he imprison and torture you to turn you into the fine specimen of utter waste and destruction you are today (well, obviously not, you did that part, but, you know what I mean)? Or was there some unholy concoction of abyssal and elven juices that your ol' pater-jerk-face spit in (or whatever) to get you started (even if it was on accident - though, in truth, they say you're too impressive not to exist, so it could just be incidental that the jerk happens to be vaguely related to you). Or did you just use it to get more power and really are unrelated? What did you use (and prob'ly rip apart) to start yourself on your epic journey toward the impressive destructive entity you are today?
Also, were it possible, would you appreciate someone interested in strengthening your Blackaxe, only to be immediately devoured by you? I know another guy...
... if so, how was it crafted, if you know...?
These guys both wanna mention they're faithfully yours 'til you devour them and everything else.
Sounds to me like you're fishing for secret history information to use against me or to give to the elves. I'll tell you what you need to know, but only if you come, alone, unarmed and naked, into Tanglebriar and present yourself by laying face-down in a pool of pollution at sundown. I will come to whisper the information you seek into your ear before sunrise. I totally won't just wait for you to drown as you inhale polluted seepage into your lungs because you're laying face down in filth. Which is a requirement.
AKA: Please drown in filth at my doorstep, and when you rise as a corrupted undead slave, you'll realize that you don't want to know these answers anyway; you'll just want to kill elves for me. Like a good undead peat. Ha. Peat. I meant to say "pet" but I typoed. Which is funny, since you laying down in peat is kinda what I want. As long as it's soggy, filthy peat. Make sure a diseased animal died a few feet away so there's lots of nastyness there. Enjoy!
EDIT: WAIT! You said my name wrong. I don't shave forests. I DESTROY THEM. I RAZE THEM TO THE GROUND. You'll still need to submit to the peat pit, but I'll just destroy you when you rise as undead. No glorious unliving servitude for you. Just a soggy sump-grave.
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Dear Treerazer,
If you were an ice cream flavor, what flavor would you be?
This question is ridiculous. But I will alloy you to slop down into a pool of filthy moist peat or submit to sepsis-sacrifice at your nearest Treerazer altar anyway, since I'm feeling magnanimous.
I'll be sure to let them know~!
(The weird things I do for this job.)
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Hey Treerazer, what do you think about a PC who is a descendant of Verinias Soseshtian and is devoting his life to mastering arcane magic to rid Golarion of you permanently?
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Hey Treerazer, what do you think about a PC who is a descendant of Verinias Soseshtian and is devoting his life to mastering arcane magic to rid Golarion of you permanently?
Sounds like he'll make a delicious convert to my cause once his will is broken and his flesh is transformed. Or a delicious addition to my dinner plate.
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Converting the descendant to a minion, how fitting.
Are you mad about that one elf who escaped? Or did you leave him alive so he could tell the story?
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Converting the descendant to a minion, how fitting.
Are you mad about that one elf who escaped? Or did you leave him alive so he could tell the story?
Doesn't bother me. And yeah, him spreading the word was pretty amusing.
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Most Grand Lord of Destruction Treerazer,
Hate to necro this thread, but I have a question:
If you could eat any deity (or demigod), which would it be, and what would you have for sides?
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Most Grand Lord of Destruction Treerazer,
Hate to necro this thread, but I have a question:
If you could eat any deity (or demigod), which would it be, and what would you have for sides?
Gozreh. 'Cause if I ate him maybe nature would die. For a side I'd eat the elemental lords.
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Oh no you are going to awaken him.
Lord Treerazer, razer of trees, what shall you do to the fool who interrupted your slumber?
Grant them power and magic to reward them for calling me back into your fragile world.
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If you could fight one treant-sized elf or one hundred elf-sized treants, which would you pick?
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If you could fight one treant-sized elf or one hundred elf-sized treants, which would you pick?
Elf-sized treants. No contest. Because killing treants makes elves sad, but killing elves doesn't really do the same sadness to treants.
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Plus they're bite-sized.
Fellow genocidal monstrosity. My universe has an infestation of these disgusting apes as well. Willing to consider advice from you as a successful counterpart for dealing with the irritating excess of mortal waste.
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Mister Treerazer, sir!
We have a fine line in processed tree carcasses with which we shatter the sanity of mortals...
Do you have any texts you'd like to contribute to our library?
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Mister Treerazer, sir!
We have a fine line in processed tree carcasses with which we shatter the sanity of mortals...
Do you have any texts you'd like to contribute to our library?
Nope. I'd rather waste a tree than re-purpose it.