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Shadow Lodge

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There are stakes at the door for people who spell his name wrong. Very sharp stakes. With barbs.

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Dear Treerazer:

How do you prefer your elves cooked?


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Dear tree razer,

Do you prefer to chop trees down with a 45 degree or 90 degree facecut?


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Deer Treeraiser,

hwo ar yuo? iss ti hared to eet awl off dose elfs?


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what is the best way to capture the elven queen of Kyonin


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Orthos wrote:

There are stakes at the door for people who spell his name wrong. Very sharp stakes. With barbs.

----

Dear Treerazer:

How do you prefer your elves cooked?

Cooking ruins the flavor. If they die in a fire, I have someone resurrect them if possible. Then I eat them.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:

Dear tree razer,

Do you prefer to chop trees down with a 45 degree or 90 degree facecut?

My name has one word.

As for the trees... whatever angle causes that particular tree the MOST pain and anguish.

Plants can scream too. It's delightful.


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Puddle wrote:

Deer Treeraiser,

hwo ar yuo? iss ti hared to eet awl off dose elfs?

Grrrr... Even I get frustrated by hard to read sentences! POODLE GOES SQUASH NOW!


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Steelfiredragon wrote:
what is the best way to capture the elven queen of Kyonin

Dunno yet.

If you figure it out and you tell me, I'll let you rule whatever's left after I'm done with the place though.


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Dear Treerazer,

Why don't you ever call your pappy anymore? He doesn't say it, but he worries about you. Are you eating good? You're looking skinny. I'm sure those elvies are high fiber and low carb, but you need to eat better. Nocticula asked about you a couple times this week; her eyes get all sparkily and she blushes when your name comes up... you should call her sometime.

Me and the misses are still having the barbecue and jambalaya cookout this coming 21st of Erastus. I know your schedule's packed, but have one of your peeps RSVP if you can make it.

All the best,
A. Nansi


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Has this whole "Ask (insert fictional character) all your questions" thing gone too far or not far enough?


that would be like your name being Bender B. Rodriguez and you work for president Nixon's Head.

hmmmmm.....

begins plans to kidnap and defeat elf queen

teleport into elf queen bed chamber

render uncnscious

bind and gag

stroke her ears..

then place dagger into her digestive track and disembow

yeah that works....


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Dear Treerazer,

Suppose a group of adventurers, after defeating your demons laying siege to Thorn's End, are bold/foolish enough to tromp through the Tanglebriar and explore. Do you crush them for their audacity yourself, or simply dispatch a horde of minions to do it for you?


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Aunt Nancy wrote:

Dear Treerazer,

Why don't you ever call your pappy anymore? He doesn't say it, but he worries about you. Are you eating good? You're looking skinny. I'm sure those elvies are high fiber and low carb, but you need to eat better. Nocticula asked about you a couple times this week; her eyes get all sparkily and she blushes when your name comes up... you should call her sometime.

Me and the misses are still having the barbecue and jambalaya cookout this coming 21st of Erastus. I know your schedule's packed, but have one of your peeps RSVP if you can make it.

All the best,
A. Nansi

Crazy people say the darndest things, don't they?


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Dear Treerazer,

What type of wine do you suggest to go with a hearty meal of elves?


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JMD031 wrote:
Has this whole "Ask (insert fictional character) all your questions" thing gone too far or not far enough?

Not far enough. We've got a lot of wisdom to impart. Now hold still while I tie you to a tree and then chop you and the tree down.


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Shadowborn wrote:

Dear Treerazer,

Suppose a group of adventurers, after defeating your demons laying siege to Thorn's End, are bold/foolish enough to tromp through the Tanglebriar and explore. Do you crush them for their audacity yourself, or simply dispatch a horde of minions to do it for you?

The latter, and if that doesn't work, then the former.


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Zinzerena wrote:

Dear Treerazer,

What type of wine do you suggest to go with a hearty meal of elves?

Elves have plenty of whine built right in. No need for more. Might I recommend some poison though? Poison is delicious. Maybe some ettercap venom? Or ooh! No! DRIDER VENOM! Delightful.

Shadow Lodge

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Elves are obviously a preferred delicacy, but what else do you enjoy on your plate?


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Treerazer wrote:
Aunt Nancy wrote:

...All the best,

A. Nansi
Crazy people say the darndest things, don't they?

Don't make me come down to the Prime Material and whup your keister, you disrespectful whippersnapper! {vigorously shakes Cane of Get of My Lawn}

Dark Archive

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What is your general opinion of the Worldwound?


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Can't catch me!


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Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Acouple of question Mr. Treerazer

1)Is Treerazer your first name or last?

2)What did trees ever do to you? Where you beaten up as a child by a bunch of trees?

3)What do you to for a vacation?

4)What is your normal day like?

5) Is the reason you hate elves is because one turned you down when you asked her/him to the Dance?

6) Ever for a day decided to be all nice a sweet just to keep your minions and enemies off balance? If so what was the result?

7) Do you have a middle name?

8) What is the ideal date for you?

9) Who do you like the most in the whole world(or cosmos)?

10)Who do you hate the most in the whole world (or cosmos)?


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Dear Dr. Treerazer, MD,

The cordyceps fungus: too creepy, "just right" creepy, or not creepy enough?

Can a sufficient infusion of fungal infestation every make kobolds as good at mining as dwarves?

Is it ever lupus?

Sincerely,
Wolfy


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Wolfie, KC's #2 Buddy wrote:

Dear Dr. Treerazer, MD,

The cordyceps fungus: too creepy, "just right" creepy, or not creepy enough?

Can a sufficient infusion of fungal infestation every make kobolds as good at mining as dwarves?

Is it ever lupus?

Sincerely,
Wolfy

Not creepy enough.

Fungus can do anything in large enough quantities.

No.


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Orthos wrote:
Elves are obviously a preferred delicacy, but what else do you enjoy on your plate?

Anything that's conscious and self-aware enough to know what's happening to them.


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Lord Gadigan wrote:
What is your general opinion of the Worldwound?

They're doing it all wrong. Too high-profile.


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John Kretzer wrote:

Acouple of question Mr. Treerazer

1)Is Treerazer your first name or last?

2)What did trees ever do to you? Where you beaten up as a child by a bunch of trees?

3)What do you to for a vacation?

4)What is your normal day like?

5) Is the reason you hate elves is because one turned you down when you asked her/him to the Dance?

6) Ever for a day decided to be all nice a sweet just to keep your minions and enemies off balance? If so what was the result?

7) Do you have a middle name?

8) What is the ideal date for you?

9) Who do you like the most in the whole world(or cosmos)?

10)Who do you hate the most in the whole world (or cosmos)?

1) Neither

2) Why do they have to have had done anything? That I destroy them for no reason other than I can is good enough for me if it depresses you more.

3) What I do normally. Vacation is for losers who aren't important enough to be able to do what they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want.

4) More delightfully violent than you'd suspect.

5) I don't dance.

6) Nope.

7) Nope.

8) Someone I've mind controlled.

9) Me.

10) You.

Dark Archive

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Do you have any children, whether half-fiend or fully fiendish?


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Lord Gadigan wrote:
Do you have any children, whether half-fiend or fully fiendish?

Yes.


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I'm sure some of them are half fiend elves.....

so, who'd win
Treerazer or mechatreerazer

Shadow Lodge

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Steelfiredragon wrote:

so, who'd win

Treerazor or mechatreerazor

Shall I bring the stakes, sir?


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Orthos wrote:
Steelfiredragon wrote:

so, who'd win

Treerazer or mechatreerazer
Shall I bring the stakes, sir?

no, bring the booze


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Steelfiredragon wrote:

I'm sure some of them are half fiend elves.....

so, who'd win
Treerazer or mechatreerazer

I would. Duh.

Silver Crusade

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If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

Dark Archive

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1. What happens to the souls of your worshipers? Pharasma generally sends the souls of a divine being's servants to said divine being's realm, but you're currently located in the Tanglebriar on Golarion. Does this mean that there are petitioners in the Tanglebriar, are they being sent to the Abyss, are you devouring them, or is something else going on?

2. The Abyss itself seems to play a role in turning souls into demons. Are you able to create new demons to bolster your forces even while not in the Abyss?

3. What is the second most dangerous thing in the Tanglebriar?

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Do you sound like the transformer Starscream?


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How would you describe the difference in flavor between 'normal' elves, and drow?


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Mr. Treerazer,
in a battle between yourself and Yamasoth... who would win, and why?

Dark Archive

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So have you ever talked to Dagon or Jubilex if so, what are they like?


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Dear Mr. Treeraiser,

if the possibility arose for you to go back into the Abyss, yould you do it, or would you prefer to stay in Kyonin?


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John Kretzer wrote:
8) What is the ideal date for you?
Treerazer wrote:
8) Someone I've mind controlled.

Aww... so you are more like the dominant type. How *cute*!

If you would like to broaden your horizons, make new experiences; might I suggest I introduce you to Mistress Delvahine? I can pretty much guarantee you will not leave unsatisfied.

Shadow Lodge

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Heard from Demogorgon lately? What's he been up to?

Or do you not keep up with the old gang in the Abyss any more?

Shadow Lodge

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If you could punch (or axe) any god in the face without fear of retribution or harm, who would it be?


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Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Treerazer wrote:
John Kretzer wrote:

10)Who do you hate the most in the whole world (or cosmos)?

10) You.

Why don't you like me?


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Hmm... seems our favorite nascent demon lord has vanished into the depths of the forest again...

HELLO? MISTER TREERAZER?!


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uriel222 wrote:
If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

The type that sucks the nutrients and life out of all other trees around, and then once they're all dead, collapses into a heap of decay to ensure there's nothing left.


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Lord Gadigan wrote:

1. What happens to the souls of your worshipers? Pharasma generally sends the souls of a divine being's servants to said divine being's realm, but you're currently located in the Tanglebriar on Golarion. Does this mean that there are petitioners in the Tanglebriar, are they being sent to the Abyss, are you devouring them, or is something else going on?

2. The Abyss itself seems to play a role in turning souls into demons. Are you able to create new demons to bolster your forces even while not in the Abyss?

3. What is the second most dangerous thing in the Tanglebriar?

1) Don't really care at this point. Once they're dead they're not really useful to me anymore.

2) Yes, but it takes a while for the incubators to give birth. They keep dying. Very disrespectful of my majesty.

3) The Witchbole.


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DM_aka_Dudemeister wrote:
Do you sound like the transformer Starscream?

No.


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Zombie Character wrote:

How would you describe the difference in flavor between 'normal' elves, and drow?

Drow ARE the normal elves. The ones who live on the surface are the blemish. They're the ones who have forgotten the truth of their history.


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Midnight_Angel wrote:

Mr. Treerazer,

in a battle between yourself and Yamasoth... who would win, and why?

I would, because I am greater than the Polymorph Plague.

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