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On the topic of quicklings, what's your favorite flavor of fey?


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Random Tiefling wrote:

Dear Mr. Treeraiser,

have you ever been forced to flee from some adventurers?

No. Never.


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Orthos wrote:
On the topic of quicklings, what's your favorite flavor of fey?

Dryad. Preferably when they're still in their silly tree.

Dark Archive

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What's Grotulth up to these days?


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Lord Gadigan wrote:
What's Grotulth up to these days?

He messed up. Got himself killed by adventurers. I had him resurrected, but then put him in an oubliette in the Witchbole. Not sure what I'm gonna do with him. I'm not even sure he's still alive down there in the dungeons in the roots.


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Fire or ice?


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Orthos wrote:
Fire or ice?

Fire.


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What are your most and least favorite kind of adventurer prey?

Liberty's Edge

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Do you hate elves, or just find them especially palatable?

Do you ever leave elf lands?


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Who's your least favorite among the gods? How about your most favorite?


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Dear Mr. Treerazer,

I strongly suspect that "Treerazer" isn't your actual name, because it doesn't sound abysmally dismal and unutterable like, for example, "Kostchtchie" does.

Now, that is a properly brain-wracking name, and a clever slight to human phonetics !

In fact, "Treerazer" sounds exactly like a name those puny tree-hugging Elves could have imposed on you. You've been objectified, mister T.Razer !

So - seize your chance to retaliate and regain your proper station, I beg you, by answering this simple question: what is your real name ?

Signed,

Slosh de Moordecay, demonbinder


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how long to do think it would take to drown a trent if we hold it underwater


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Orthos wrote:
What are your most and least favorite kind of adventurer prey?

Most: Clerics and paladins.

Least: Rogues. Too stringy.


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Gark the Goblin wrote:

Do you hate elves, or just find them especially palatable?

Do you ever leave elf lands?

Both.

And all the time. Tanglebriar, for example, is not an elven land.


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Bob Evil wrote:

Who's your least favorite among the gods? How about your most favorite?

Most favorite: ME.

Least favorite: All the rest.


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Quiche Lisp wrote:

Dear Mr. Treerazer,

I strongly suspect that "Treerazer" isn't your actual name, because it doesn't sound abysmally dismal and unutterable like, for example, "Kostchtchie" does.

Now, that is a properly brain-wracking name, and a clever slight to human phonetics !

In fact, "Treerazer" sounds exactly like a name those puny tree-hugging Elves could have imposed on you. You've been objectified, mister T.Razer !

So - seize your chance to retaliate and regain your proper station, I beg you, by answering this simple question: what is your real name ?

Signed,

Slosh de Moordecay, demonbinder

I find it ironic that someone "named" Quiche Lisp is taking me to task about names.


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watchmanx wrote:

how long to do think it would take to drown a trent if we hold it underwater

It's hard to say, because right before they die, it's so fun to let them up for some air so you can extend the torment, ain't it?


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I have a friend looking to get in on the Antipaladin business. Are you hiring?


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So Mr. Treerazer... I expect to be in your neck of the woods within a couple of months. What sights do you recommend?

I've already got "destabilize the elven base of power" planned so that's covered.

Scarab Sages

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Greetings Mr. Treerazer,

I am sure that the wards, which elves have put on the land to lock you and your minions in the south of Kyonin, wouldn't prevent you to passby and raze their trees. So what makes you wait? To what end, you try to divert little elflings?


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Orthos wrote:
I have a friend looking to get in on the Antipaladin business. Are you hiring?

Antipaladins don't get hired. They volunteer.


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ANebulousMistress wrote:

So Mr. Treerazer... I expect to be in your neck of the woods within a couple of months. What sights do you recommend?

I've already got "destabilize the elven base of power" planned so that's covered.

Once that's covered... the rest should suggest itself!


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Lynas Randarov wrote:

Greetings Mr. Treerazer,

I am sure that the wards, which elves have put on the land to lock you and your minions in the south of Kyonin, wouldn't prevent you to passby and raze their trees. So what makes you wait? To what end, you try to divert little elflings?

I don't reveal the true genius of my plans to mortals and underlings. They do exist, though. Plans AND underlings.


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Still can't catch me!

Sovereign Court

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Besides razing trees, do you mow lawns, rake leaves or do any landscaping?

Dark Archive

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Treerazer what is the best way to force the lesser demons to do what you say?


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What is your opinion on Succubi?


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Speaking of which; what is your opinion about Nocticula, Mr. Treeraiser?

Have you met ever her, and if so, how did things go?


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How many trees would a treerazer raze if a treerazer could raze trees?

Dark Archive

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he can raze trees hence the name...


JMD031 wrote:
Has this whole "Ask (insert fictional character) all your questions" thing gone too far or not far enough?

Too far, but then again I'm more of a roll player than a role player. And I'm not even the one being asked the question.........

(PS. I'm not all against roleplay [it can be fun].)

The Exchange

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Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

I created a new minion.

Zombie, enhanced by clockwork innards, and horrific beetle implanted in the skull casing that grows on the brainmatter of the unwilling new zombe gaining a shadow of their previous skills and memories. Slaveishly loyal, and more durable and skillful than usual zombies.

Can I get more horrific?

I was debating a divine magic eating mutant parasite that slowly turns it's host into a Umberhulkling. With a linger hunger for more holy magic, making them adapt at hunting down clerics and priests.

Or some sort of walking skull collecting machine that turns the collected skulls into spider monsters after injecting the brain with unholy alchemcial go and then launches these beasties on their allies to further to slaughter.

Thoughts oh mighty one?


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Callous Jack wrote:
Besides razing trees, do you mow lawns, rake leaves or do any landscaping?

No. That sounds like gnomework. I eat gnomes. Usually as some sort of garnish.


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ulgulanoth wrote:
Treerazer what is the best way to force the lesser demons to do what you say?

By telling them to do something. The ones who don't get killed. The other ones then get the point pretty fast.


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Icyshadow wrote:
What is your opinion on Succubi?

They are delightful. More, please!


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Random Tiefling wrote:

Speaking of which; what is your opinion about Nocticula, Mr. Treeraiser?

Have you met ever her, and if so, how did things go?

Haven't met her yet, but when I reclaim my rightful place of power in the Abyss, I expect she'll be one of the first to come play obedience to me. Whether or not I have time for her depends on how long she takes to admit the fact that she should serve me.


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Threeshades wrote:
How many trees would a treerazer raze if a treerazer could raze trees?

I can. All of them I decide aren't worth transforming into something better.


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TheLoneCleric wrote:

I created a new minion.

Zombie, enhanced by clockwork innards, and horrific beetle implanted in the skull casing that grows on the brainmatter of the unwilling new zombe gaining a shadow of their previous skills and memories. Slaveishly loyal, and more durable and skillful than usual zombies.

Can I get more horrific?

I was debating a divine magic eating mutant parasite that slowly turns it's host into a Umberhulkling. With a linger hunger for more holy magic, making them adapt at hunting down clerics and priests.

Or some sort of walking skull collecting machine that turns the collected skulls into spider monsters after injecting the brain with unholy alchemcial go and then launches these beasties on their allies to further to slaughter.

Thoughts oh mighty one?

Clockworks are a waste of time because they require constant maintenance and STILL break. Go with something living instead of something that breaks when you don't pay attention.

The Exchange

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Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
Treerazer wrote:
Clockworks are a waste of time because they require constant maintenance and STILL break. Go with something living instead of something that breaks when you don't pay attention.

Holy eating parasite it is!

Liberty's Edge

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What are you going to do after you bring Golarion in line with the Abyss? Won't Cyth V'Sug be mad? Also, are you aware of the Worldwound?


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We haven't heard from you in a while Mr. Treerazer! What have you been up to recently...aside from, um, razing trees?


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lucky7 wrote:
What are you going to do after you bring Golarion in line with the Abyss? Won't Cyth V'Sug be mad? Also, are you aware of the Worldwound?

You're trying to get me to spill the beans on my plans! I'm not gonna fall for that!

And yeah, I've heard of the Worldwound. Deskari's doing it wrong. He's just gonna get himself killed.


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Haladir wrote:
We haven't heard from you in a while Mr. Treerazer! What have you been up to recently...aside from, um, razing trees?

Eatin' elves. Growin' a big hezrou in the tarn. Knocking down things what need knocking down. Same old.


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So... elven wine. Made with real elves. Ever tried it? If so, how was it?


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ANebulousMistress wrote:
So... elven wine. Made with real elves. Ever tried it? If so, how was it?

Too fruity.


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So I was wondering what do your demons do for fun between assaults on the elves?

Also...I was lead to believe that uncontroled demons on the material plane would just run around doing whatever they want to do...so how do you keep your troops in line? Haver any gone AWOL?


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Dear Pustulent Blot on the Multiverse(AKA Treerazer),

A colleague of mine is of the opinion that your head would make a fine trophy to present to our lord Asmodeus. I feel that he would be insulted by such an insignificant offering. I'm curious as to your "thoughts", such as they are, on the matter.


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John Kretzer wrote:

So I was wondering what do your demons do for fun between assaults on the elves?

Also...I was lead to believe that uncontroled demons on the material plane would just run around doing whatever they want to do...so how do you keep your troops in line? Haver any gone AWOL?

Whatever they do for fun is up to them. I don't really care if they have fun or not.

Some of them have gone away, yeah. If I find them they die. I'm good at finding them.


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FormerFiend wrote:

Dear Pustulent Blot on the Multiverse(AKA Treerazer),

A colleague of mine is of the opinion that your head would make a fine trophy to present to our lord Asmodeus. I feel that he would be insulted by such an insignificant offering. I'm curious as to your "thoughts", such as they are, on the matter.

You and your friend probably taste vile, but I'd consume your flesh and bones and soul just to spite you so it doesn't matter what you taste like.


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Treerazer wrote:
FormerFiend wrote:

Dear Pustulent Blot on the Multiverse(AKA Treerazer),

A colleague of mine is of the opinion that your head would make a fine trophy to present to our lord Asmodeus. I feel that he would be insulted by such an insignificant offering. I'm curious as to your "thoughts", such as they are, on the matter.

You and your friend probably taste vile, but I'd consume your flesh and bones and soul just to spite you so it doesn't matter what you taste like.

See, I told my colleague that it would be better to bring you bound and chained before Asmodeus to act as the new court fool of Nessus.

Thank you for convincing him.

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