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58. I'm sorry, but I just feel like an enabler of your bad behavior. If I heal you, all you'll learn is to solve all your problems through violence.
Oh sure, no problem, I can heal you.
I just had this great idea of what to do with my next turn though,
so it'll probably be the round after that though.
61. I hope you have a good stabilization roll...
63."Heal you right now? Isn't this the sixth time within the last twelve hours?! ....Okay,you know what? Gimme some coin and I'll reattach your right ear."
64 "Before I stabilize you... would you care to tell me what you and my girlfriend have been doing in your room last night?"
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66. Cthulhu ftaghn. Biatches!!
67. "Oops."
68. "Ooh, that's gonna need a regenerate..."
69. You know what's all the rage these days? Prosthetic limbs.
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71. I hear cowbell helps with fever.
74. "I went to the Frank Burns school of meat ball healing" (so I'm old, shoot me.)
75. Heal? I'm a cosmetic cleric! I cast breasts of life.
75 is in the category of things I want my cleric to say.
76. Nah, man, I'm chill. I don't lay on hands. I high five.
77. Sorry guys I don't have any healing. Turns out that chicken i sacrificed to my dark master wasn't a virgin after all. Nothing gets my under a dark masters skin like finding your chicken sacrfice had loose morals!
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78. Does it hurt? Does it? GOOD!
79. For my 11th level I multiclassed into rogue!! Whaddya think of my new duds?
80. Did anyone see my divine focus and spell component pouch?
81. NO CURES FOR YOU!!
82. All too easy ... *raspy breathing*
83. This party needs an enema!
84. You all know the answer to the "God" question, right?
85. I'm sorry, "dead" is not one of my language skills. You should have drawn up a will.
86. Bbbbrraaaiiinnnssssss ....
87. Surgery? Do you want me to break a nail?
88. "You don't tithe to my church, do you?"
If we only split the treasure three ways I'll be able to afford that new Rod...
90. I didn't hear a "please."
"I didn't take any cure spells, isn't that what the heal skill is for???"
"I took alignment channel"
"Sorry I specialized in Rhinocasty"
"All I have left is this gauze"
95. "Good news everyone!"
"You have a headache? And it hurts, like, really really bad? Well, then, I am afraid there is just one solution. We are definitely going to have to amputate."
Congradulations. I just became a necromancer and you are my first victim, errrr, test subject.
99. Don't bother me until I've finished watching my soaps.
I will be glad to heal you, but according to union rules, I must take a lunch hour and mine starts now.
101. Sorry, it's tee-off time in 15 minutes.
103. I may have to use the sting-y stuff...
104. Who am I?
106.- "Alright, ladies. If I'm going to heal you, I need to do some touching first. All completely medical, I asure you"
107.- "Ohh, you mean HEAL-er, as in someone who cures. No, sorry, I just fix shoes"
108.- "My religion? Bloodor, God of Open Wounds. Why you ask?"
109.- "Yeah, lost both arms and legs in the war. But I've learned how to Lay on Hand with my buttcheeks, so if you'd please kneel over here..."
110.- "Nay, I'm a dwarf, and we're not spontaneous. Not making a Cure spell out of Heat Metal fer ya, lad"
112. "HEY GUYS, HE'S CASTING FLESH TO STON--"
113. "I would have to roll a natural 1 to fail that massive damage save!"(actually happened to me on when I was acting party healer as a Fighter/Paladin - but my duty as the party tank at that level of power mostly required me to shuffle the party to small purse and take them back for true resurrection. After a few repeated attempts at particular enemies - who resurrected their loses when we were regaining strength after tactical retreat - it was my time to bite the dust. Somewhere at that time the local priesthood of Light provided us with portable resurrection altar).
114. Avenge me!
115. "Clatu... Barata... Necktie!"
116. "Hey, guys, watch this!"
117. "Don't worry, it's perfectly harmle- AAAGGGHHHH, IT'S EATING MY SPLEEN!"
118. "It was a new leg you needed right? An arm you say? EH same thing."
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119. "I snap the staff of power over my knee."
120: Wait, negative energy doesn't heal you guys?
121: Disembowling is fatal in your species right?
122: But it works better this way!
123: I can't feel your pancreas...*looks over the battlefield* There it is!
124: You can live with just one of those
125: Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a... oh right.
126: Hello, I'm Dr Zoidberg
127: Now that i think about it a skull is a little odd on a wand of cure light wounds
128: DIAMOND dust?
129: Don't worry I have duct tape
130: I KNOW what you did last summer...
131. I told you so.
Wait ... you wanted healing?! I could've sworn that a timely bestow curse would be of greater benefit than stuffing your entrails back in.
Couldn't help that was pointed at me. :P
Wait ... you wanted healing?! I could've sworn that a timely bestow curse would be of greater benefit than stuffing your entrails back in.Couldn't help that was pointed at me. :P
On behalf of the majority of the rest of the group, who are largely non-posters here. :P
132: It's a Flumph!
Nothing. His lips are moving, and you hear nothing. He gets a frustrated expression on his face, then begins to mime. He points at you, then points at his ears... draws a circle in the air, then draws a line through it... and shrugs helplessly.