The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


Gamer Life General Discussion

8,351 to 8,400 of 17,781 << first < prev | 163 | 164 | 165 | 166 | 167 | 168 | 169 | 170 | 171 | 172 | 173 | next > last >>

pH unbalanced wrote:
Yuugasa wrote:

This past weekend I went out with some friends and had a series of interactions that my wife and have been talking about the past few days because so many interesting gender and perception based curious things popped up.

** spoiler omitted **...

I've been told by friends of Octavia Butler that she was often read as trans because she was a tall black woman. There was an especially egregious story I've heard which took place at a WorldCon in Russia -- so it's not just a US thing. It's also part of why there are persistent false rumors of her being a lesbian.

** spoiler omitted **

These same friends tell me that part of being a black woman in our society is a persistent masculinization whenever you get outside of a very narrow band Western beauty standards. (This is true to a certain extent for all women, but I'm told it is *especially* pervasive for black women.) Masculinization of women is a common part of "othering" them.

Nothing I've ever experienced personally (I'm white), but it's something I've heard described *repeatedly*.

While I totally agree Claire is actually white and was originally my wife's friend with similar pale skinned, blonde haired, blue eyed features. Your point stands though that it is an issue black women deal with a lot.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
TheAntiElite wrote:
Yuugasa wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Yuugasa wrote:

This past weekend I went out with some friends and had a series of interactions that my wife and have been talking about the past few days because so many interesting gender and perception based curious things popped up.

** spoiler omitted **...

wow x 2.

Re: The last line, something my best friend said years ago keeps ringing true, and I think it may be good advice for my sons (if I have any) or my nephews (who will be visiting soon): it's called "getting lucky" for a reason. So much of intimacy(especially the brief variety) is wrapped up in dumb luck that it isn't funny. I don't think anyone "wins" so much as they simply loudly crow about the streak of luck they are experiencing.

Well, and add to that the fact that every man I've ever known who thought it was important how much random sex he was having was demonstrably lying about how often he had said sex.

Even though I am an ally and overall supportive, something is leaving my feeling obtuse and/or stupid, and it's probably due to a misunderstanding, so I will save it for PM if I opt to follow up on this.

I will say this, though - I really don't know how to feel or what to say regarding your friend, as I am lousy st relationships, advice, or permutations of the two, but my obliviously cis-male hetero perspective is somewhat torn between the obvious desire to not objectify and be all "rah rah equality and no body shaming!" and feeling all patronizingly "d'awwwww" and feel bad for how that went down, and also dealing with the uncomfortable knowledge that, depending on where on the sliding scale of the Williams sisters and, say, Yvette Bova, who is not someone to GIS with safe search off at work, said friend may be, that the part that does objectify points and yells "THIS IS MY FETISH."

Which is unfair. And jerkish. And uncomfortably hilarious, even to myself.

It's cool to have a fetish, though I do hope when dealing with real women there is more going on there than just the fetish(not judging, I'm sure there is).

That's really the sad thing about how that interaction went down, Claire is not masculine at all or overly muscled, it's really just her height and overall dimensions that make people uncomfortable, if you shrank her 8 inches she'd blend in perfectly with all the other pretty and "normal" women.

There's nothing "odd" about her at all, I suspect it is just most men don't like approaching women who tower over them. There are a lot of weird power dynamics that seem to go into how people relate to each other regarding height, as immensely stupid as that may seem and I'll admit that I myself have felt both intimidated by her and kinda submissive towards her at various points simple because of her dimensions.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Shadow Knight 12 wrote:
Yuugasa wrote:

@-Shadow Knight 12 Sorry if my response to you seemed overly contrary, I was just explaining my situation more, not trying to say you didn't have something good to say.

In my case when I say I'm 999,999 in a million, I suck at almost everything, and I never fit in, it isn't because I have low self esteem or think badly of myself, it's cause I legitimately suck at most everything, lol.

It's fine, no worries, it's just the scientist in me. "Is something in your life not to your liking? We can change it. We have the technology!" So it's mostly a philosophical discrepancy. :P

Yuugasa wrote:
Long story short: you just can't win as a women in this society, it just doesn't matter, you can be "Perfect" in every way and our society will always still find a reason to s!!$ on you and tell you there is something wrong with you or there is some reason you're not good enough.
This is literally why we still need feminism in spite of whatever nonsense people might say to the contrary. In fact, I would say that right now, we're probably in one of the most dangerous times to be in, because feminism is finally starting to address the deeply rooted issues of male entitlement and ancient patriarchal mores, and that's generating a pushback, as long-held beliefs are finally being questioned and people are reacting dangerously and irrationally (which is psychologically understandable, mind you, because that's a normal response to having a core belief challenged, but it doesn't make it any less dangerous).

+1,000 favorites!

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
pH unbalanced wrote:
Zurias wrote:
Joynt Jezebel wrote:

Lissa- I am not sure I saw the event you refer to, I haven't seen the whole series.

I can see what you mean about not wanting Mia representing the trans community. Trans women are presented in the media as killers, it started with "Silence of the Lambs" as far as I know, quite often. I don't know of even a single instance of this happening in real life. There probably is one or two, but as for trans people being inclined to serious crime... certainly not.

From what I saw, Mia wasn't obviously mentally ill, or not as I saw it. Had a lot to deal with yes.

Sleepaway Camp is older. 1983.
Psycho is older still.

Just as a historical note, while I can't speak for Sleepaway Camp (and indeed believe this explanation to not apply to it), both Buffalo Bill and Norman Bates were based on real killer Ed Gein...who did in fact do things like dress in human skin (and was not trans), and keep a shrine with his mother's corpse in it. And did a lot of other really disturbing things.

That's not to say that it isn't an issue, I'm just noting that, historically, those movies didn't grow out of some fear of trans people, but out of a real story about one very sick guy.


Yuugasa wrote:
TheAntiElite wrote:
Yuugasa wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Yuugasa wrote:

This past weekend I went out with some friends and had a series of interactions that my wife and have been talking about the past few days because so many interesting gender and perception based curious things popped up.

** spoiler omitted **...

wow x 2.

Re: The last line, something my best friend said years ago keeps ringing true, and I think it may be good advice for my sons (if I have any) or my nephews (who will be visiting soon): it's called "getting lucky" for a reason. So much of intimacy(especially the brief variety) is wrapped up in dumb luck that it isn't funny. I don't think anyone "wins" so much as they simply loudly crow about the streak of luck they are experiencing.

Well, and add to that the fact that every man I've ever known who thought it was important how much random sex he was having was demonstrably lying about how often he had said sex.

Even though I am an ally and overall supportive, something is leaving my feeling obtuse and/or stupid, and it's probably due to a misunderstanding, so I will save it for PM if I opt to follow up on this.

I will say this, though - I really don't know how to feel or what to say regarding your friend, as I am lousy st relationships, advice, or permutations of the two, but my obliviously cis-male hetero perspective is somewhat torn between the obvious desire to not objectify and be all "rah rah equality and no body shaming!" and feeling all patronizingly "d'awwwww" and feel bad for how that went down, and also dealing with the uncomfortable knowledge that, depending on where on the sliding scale of the Williams sisters and, say, Yvette Bova, who is not someone to GIS with safe search off at work, said friend may be, that the part that does objectify points and yells "THIS IS MY FETISH."

Which is unfair. And jerkish. And uncomfortably hilarious, even to myself.

It's cool to have a fetish, though I do hope when dealing...

Not curtailing deliberately - replying from phone makes for a drastically lessened desire to manually cut-paste (and on my phone with my fingers it is a chore and a half), but the comments vis a vis fetishism is, while mostly tongue in cheek, was in part relating to the thing I think was more appropriate to PM than this thread, much in line with your own observations about sexism and how you feel about the way it is handled on the interwebz. And, as an ally, who is somewhat exasperated by Poe's law as much as people who complain about SJWs, I really didn't want to use an emote when I was certain that Cruise Control for (Semi-)Snark would convey the levity.

I think I'll just do the PM from home thing.


So, i've been a gamer for about 18 years and for the past few years have come to find myself attracted to both men and women. I've been a bit confused about things and wondered if sharing these things with my family could be a good idea. Given my extended family is very stereotypically southern. I'd like some advice since this seems like the thread to do it.
Thanks in advance for anything I can figure out.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Are you attracted to them aesthetically, or sexually? That's a good place to looking at your feelings, and also keep in mind that romance and sex aren't the same thing, and one may not necessarily lead to the other (and that's okay). As far as explaining to your family...well, a lot of people have a lot of different experiences regarding that, from really great to really awful. Hard to say how that would go.

I was trying to explain this to somebody the other day, and it's a really hard feeling to put into words. Here's what I came up with:
There's this formless feeling of missing something...You're not 100% sure what that is, but you know it's not there in whatever relationship you had/have.
Then something triggers the notion of being with somebody of the same sex, and the reaction to *that* is telling. That formless feeling has a shape now, and it's a *yearning* for it. An intimacy that is same, yet different. An emotional response that is the same, yet different.
But all adding up to feeling satisfied with the presence of *both* sexes in your life.


Well, I happen to enjoy the aesthetics of the male and female form along with other, more intimate desires. I'm the old romantic sort and would take a good romancing over sex in a heartbeat. I find myself yearning for another person, and the thought does come up as a person of either gender and I feel happy to think that way.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Lokiel wrote:

So, i've been a gamer for about 18 years and for the past few years have come to find myself attracted to both men and women. I've been a bit confused about things and wondered if sharing these things with my family could be a good idea. Given my extended family is very stereotypically southern. I'd like some advice since this seems like the thread to do it.

Thanks in advance for anything I can figure out.

Your safety is of primary concern, and there's no shame in keeping things to yourself if it guarantees your physical and emotional safety. You don't need your family's approval to live a happy and fulfilling life, and sometimes you can get away with never talking to your family about your sexuality if you move far away from them and dodge their questions or just lie.

There are a lot of stories out there about families learning to accept their LGBTQ+ children, and while that's a lovely thing, it happens less often in reality than we'd like.

At the end of the day, you know your family better than anyone else, and it's up to you to decide what to do, I'm just positing a less popular option that is still perfectly valid.


So since the topic of Trans in the media came up, has anyone checked out netflix show Sense8? Two of the eight main characters are gay, and one is a transwoman. Both are pretty positive interpretations I think. Apparently Lana Wachowski channeled quite a bit of her experiences into the transwoman Nomi, and the whole show is just...awesome. I am going to flip all the tables if we don't get a season 2.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber
MMCJawa wrote:
So since the topic of Trans in the media came up, has anyone checked out netflix show Sense8? Two of the eight main characters are gay, and one is a transwoman. Both are pretty positive interpretations I think. Apparently Lana Wachowski channeled quite a bit of her experiences into the transwoman Nomi, and the whole show is just...awesome. I am going to flip all the tables if we don't get a season 2.

I've heard a lot of good things... although, if I recall, there's a bit early on (like episode 2) that was troublesome for a lot of people.

Silver Crusade

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Girl Scouts raise over $100k from #forEVERYgirl Indeigogo campaign after rejecting a check for that amount from a transphobic donor.

Campaign Link.

EVERY. GIRL.

Shadow Lodge

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
MMCJawa wrote:
So since the topic of Trans in the media came up, has anyone checked out netflix show Sense8? Two of the eight main characters are gay, and one is a transwoman. Both are pretty positive interpretations I think. Apparently Lana Wachowski channeled quite a bit of her experiences into the transwoman Nomi, and the whole show is just...awesome. I am going to flip all the tables if we don't get a season 2.

I've only watched the first episode, but it is very good. (This is one I want to watch with my wife, which means it's slow going.)

I've also seen what I imagine is the problematic scene from the second episode -- it's quite powerful, but I could see how it could definitely be triggering. (Those two things often go hand in hand, don't they.)


Nomi's mom is horrible. I mean, at some point, it transcends ignorance, and goes into full blown malice. Towards your own child.

Blows the mind.

Shadow Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
Kryzbyn wrote:

Nomi's mom is horrible. I mean, at some point, it transcends ignorance, and goes into full blown malice. Towards your own child.

Blows the mind.

I only wish it seemed unrealistic or blew my mind.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Rysky wrote:

Girl Scouts raise over $100k from #forEVERYgirl Indeigogo campaign after rejecting a check for that amount from a transphobic donor.

Campaign Link.

EVERY. GIRL.

buys more cookies


pH unbalanced wrote:
Kryzbyn wrote:

Nomi's mom is horrible. I mean, at some point, it transcends ignorance, and goes into full blown malice. Towards your own child.

Blows the mind.

I only wish it seemed unrealistic or blew my mind.

The portrayal didn't seem unrealistic. I've seen people treat their children like crap for stupid reasons before.

The logic blows my mind. "I care for you, you're my child, but I'm going to ignore your own feelings on the matter, even trivialize them, because I love you."
It's like battered parent syndrome or something.

Shadow Lodge

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
Kryzbyn wrote:
pH unbalanced wrote:
Kryzbyn wrote:

Nomi's mom is horrible. I mean, at some point, it transcends ignorance, and goes into full blown malice. Towards your own child.

Blows the mind.

I only wish it seemed unrealistic or blew my mind.

The portrayal didn't seem unrealistic. I've seen people treat their children like crap for stupid reasons before.

The logic blows my mind. "I care for you, you're my child, but I'm going to ignore your own feelings on the matter, even trivialize them, because I love you."
It's like battered parent syndrome or something.

"I'm going to ignore your own feelings on the matter because you are delusional. You've been brainwashed by dangerous, misguided people, and so you need me to protect you from yourself. Any experts you cite are either crackpots or mercenaries."

"One day you will come to your senses and thank me. Or if not, if you are so far gone in your psychosis that you will never recover, at least I will know, deep in my heart, that I did the right thing."


Kryzbyn wrote:
pH unbalanced wrote:
Kryzbyn wrote:

Nomi's mom is horrible. I mean, at some point, it transcends ignorance, and goes into full blown malice. Towards your own child.

Blows the mind.

I only wish it seemed unrealistic or blew my mind.

The portrayal didn't seem unrealistic. I've seen people treat their children like crap for stupid reasons before.

The logic blows my mind. "I care for you, you're my child, but I'm going to ignore your own feelings on the matter, even trivialize them, because I love you."
It's like battered parent syndrome or something.

Well, parents routinely ignore and trivialize their children's feelings on things, often for very good reasons, at least at younger ages.

I'd say, putting the best spin on it, it's because they think it's harmful and the kid will be better off if they're just normal. If it takes some tough love to get there, it's worth it.
It's horrible because they're wrong, not necessarily because of their intent.

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
thejeff wrote:
Kryzbyn wrote:
pH unbalanced wrote:
Kryzbyn wrote:

Nomi's mom is horrible. I mean, at some point, it transcends ignorance, and goes into full blown malice. Towards your own child.

Blows the mind.

I only wish it seemed unrealistic or blew my mind.

The portrayal didn't seem unrealistic. I've seen people treat their children like crap for stupid reasons before.

The logic blows my mind. "I care for you, you're my child, but I'm going to ignore your own feelings on the matter, even trivialize them, because I love you."
It's like battered parent syndrome or something.

Well, parents routinely ignore and trivialize their children's feelings on things, often for very good reasons, at least at younger ages.

I'd say, putting the best spin on it, it's because they think it's harmful and the kid will be better off if they're just normal. If it takes some tough love to get there, it's worth it.
It's horrible because they're wrong, not necessarily because of their intent.

Well that's the thing isn't it. I have nothing but compassion for a parent in this situation, while at the same time decrying their horrible, horrible actions.

I've had this conversation with my family. And they could not have been more wrong. But at the same time, two of my cousins are schizophrenic, and their parents had *exactly the same* conversation with them...but they were right.

So I do my best not to judge. Parenting is hard.

Sometimes all you can do is minimize the damage.


Kalindlara wrote:
MMCJawa wrote:
So since the topic of Trans in the media came up, has anyone checked out netflix show Sense8? Two of the eight main characters are gay, and one is a transwoman. Both are pretty positive interpretations I think. Apparently Lana Wachowski channeled quite a bit of her experiences into the transwoman Nomi, and the whole show is just...awesome. I am going to flip all the tables if we don't get a season 2.
I've heard a lot of good things... although, if I recall, there's a bit early on (like episode 2) that was troublesome for a lot of people.

Some of the most beautiful parts are in episode 1. I absolutely loved the tribute to 80s pride. Episode 2 is by far the worst with Nomi's mother, but felt like an all too realistic conversation with an unaccepting parent. Late in the series Nomi has a discussion with a gay character about coming out that is also amassing.

For me, watching the show is I can never hear Nomi's name right. A few months ago a friend of mine started publicly transitioning, and is now going by Naomi, and I heard that every time they say her name. It made the mothers comment about her name almost surreal.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

Yeah, Nomi's mom was hard to watch. We had a hard time watching the first couple of episodes partially because nomi just didn't do anything. I hear it gets better but we've not finished it yet. Also a bit triggering.


Oh, yeah, she does quite a bit.
Don't give up :P

Liberty's Edge

Kryzbyn wrote:

Oh, yeah, she does quite a bit.

Don't give up :P

Nomi's debatably the main character inasmuch as the show has one (well, her and Will anyway). She does a variety of things...not always well when they're outside her area of expertise, but she's proactive and very competent in her area (though the later point applies to all eight main protagonists).

Additionally, Nomi's mother shows up about one more time after the second episode. And nobody else is awful in remotely the same way.

Project Manager

Every character goes through their own trauma at some point in the show, and some of it is really hard to watch (Kala's seems more surface, whereas Lito's is super hard to watch, even though--or perhaps because--it's self-inflicted).

Nomi's early scenes were really wrenching, and I can't imagine how triggering they must be if you're trans. But, if it helps, it's uphill for her from there, and she basically becomes the hub for the sensates once things start rolling--she isn't sidelined once the traumatic part of her storyline is resolved, which I appreciated.

The show is goofy sometimes, and clumsy at others, but it also has moments of transcendence, and the Wachowskis/JMS's ability to take profound, giddy joy in something as simple as watching a fireworks display or watching and listening to your dad play a piano concerto is something I love because it feels so freaking fresh in our current landscape of scifi dystopias and cynicism.


In Nomi's case...the really triggery stuff is confined to the first couple of episodes, and a conversation she has with another sensate much later on (9?).

And yeah...Nomi's skills are pretty integral to the plot. Her and Will are pretty much the most integral drivers in the conspiracy plotline.


Hmmm, all this talk is getting me interested in watching the show. It sounds like it's rough at first, but should get better later on. I'll give it a try, I've been looking forward to more progressive shows to watch.


Shadow Knight 12 wrote:
Hmmm, all this talk is getting me interested in watching the show. It sounds like it's rough at first, but should get better later on. I'll give it a try, I've been looking forward to more progressive shows to watch.

I wouldn't say the early episodes are rough so much as it is relevant to this thread that the trans character is the first one to be put in a terrible situation she can't escape from, and that it has a lot of strong real life inspiration, making it a very strong potential trigger at the onset. Past the first episode when you are still trying to figure out what is going on as they simultaneously introduce 8 main characters who don't interact with eachother, the show is remarkably well executed.


Its a slow burn show, so it definitely takes a few episodes to get into.


Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet:
Hijras angry over gender test for government jobs
Also:
Transgender Rights, Bangladesh Style

Silver Crusade System Administrator

It's also very pretty. Probably because Wachowski's.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

Fergie wrote:

Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet:

Hijras angry over gender test for government jobs
Also:
Transgender Rights, Bangladesh Style

Those gals have a hard time of it. =( Always difficult to read about.

Project Manager

Shadow Knight 12 wrote:
Hmmm, all this talk is getting me interested in watching the show. It sounds like it's rough at first, but should get better later on. I'll give it a try, I've been looking forward to more progressive shows to watch.

I wouldn't say it's rough. I'd say it's difficult.

But that's not the same as "not quality," or "bad," or so on.

Even "triggering" doesn't necessarily mean "bad," in the sense that it can be triggering to talk about something you went through. A documentary that exposes something terrible can be triggering. A story that tries to get the audience to empathize with someone who's suffering can be triggering.

That doesn't mean it's bad or done wrong or whatever. It just means that some people, especially those who have suffered similar trauma, may not want to watch it because it may be too painful/traumatizing.

Obviously, I'm not trans; the trans people here may have felt that it fell into a bad or gratuitous category of triggering material.

But it didn't seem triggering in the sense of exploitative or stereotypical to me. It was painful to watch, but it dramatized for me how traumatic it can be for trans people to be misgendered. The show did a good job of making each use of Nomi's old name feel like a blow.


Wow, clearly I chose a very controversial word, because a lot of people are taking issue with it. :P

Project Manager

Shadow Knight 12 wrote:
Wow, clearly I chose a very controversial word, because a lot of people are taking issue with it. :P

Well, just trying to help you understand what it is and isn't. I wouldn't say it's "rough" in the sense of "unpolished" or "not well thought-out."


I meant rough as in "emotionally rough" (since that's what people were talking about), but I guess I was too hasty with my choice of words. :P

Silver Crusade System Administrator

If you are trans or someone close to you who is trans or are just emapthetic, Nomi's family feels like someone is hitting you. I mean, literally I winced several times during their scenes and turned away, kind of unable to look, as if that would somehow stop the assault.

Nomi also felt, at least in the first several episodes... I'm not going to have a great description of how it felt but here goes:

It felt like when someone writes a character and they start looking at it up close and does revision after revision until it seems a little blander than you intended. Like having kids gloves while touching her. Like being afraid to use too much salt in a dish but ending up not using enough. While everyone else has something to their character, Nomi, seems to need others to emote at all and is very passive to her story. She doesn't get herself out of trouble once and it was very frustrating that she kept being the damsel in distress that was saved by someone else no less than 3 times in the first 5 episodes. I don't know. She didn't feel as well written as the others but maybe that's just my own prejudices about what I want from a trans-actor playing a trans-character ostensibly written by a trans-author.

As to the beginning, it is slow to get started really. You get little glimpses into the 8's lives and the first two episodes seem sparse enough that you wonder a little where all of this is going. It's a very slow burn but costumes, set design, and framing are all incredible during the whole run up to things actually happening. Crystal and I have enjoyed what we've seen with the exception of the bits of Nomi's story which were both violent and boring. And the fact that it has so many people of color and of cultures we don't celebrate or even see very often is fantastic and wonderful.


Seeing how far they've come as a group and individuals by the end of the season is so worth the awkward seeming loose bits that don't fit anywhere at the beginning.

Did you say that Nomi's actress is also trans?

EDIT: Googled it. No wonder there's so many feels behind her Nomi scenes.
She's lived it. Hopefully truth was easier for her than fiction...

Silver Crusade System Administrator

Seriously. I've had a couple of friends who've gone through similar problems and they are deeply scarred by the trauma.


Fergie wrote:

Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet:

Hijras angry over gender test for government jobs
Also:
Transgender Rights, Bangladesh Style

Though it's terrible what happened, the very facet of there being a classification of a third gender is a fascinating item I had not heard of. According to the article, it is only Trans-women, do they also have a group for transmen, or what would they fall under?

What do people think the reaction would be in the US if instead of calling a transwoman a woman, and a transman a man, they instead considered them a third gender like apparently they are doing in India and Bangladesh? Is that an insult or a good thing?

It seems that this group of people have been called hijras and as a community existed for almost two thousand years (the article says third century).

So I take it they've always been known as a third gender? Or is this a new thing for that area?

Fascinating look at the culture. I'm not sure how it would be taken in the West if a similar approach was done here (notate them as a third gender instead of the specific gender they identify with), but perhaps we don't have the history of it they do...OR maybe it would be something that would be welcomed with open arms?

I don't know, but it would be interesting to find out what people's thoughts on that would be.

I find it fascinating that they have had a third gender and consider them as such. What do they consider intersex individuals I wonder?

It's a very different way to look at it. The article makes it sound as if hijras want to be considered part of that group of a hijras and appreciate the third gender status, but not the discrimination. I wonder if that's actually true or not, as I'm not familiar with Indian Asian culture.


GreyWolfLord wrote:
Though it's terrible what happened, the very facet of there being a classification of a third gender is a fascinating item I had not heard of. According to the article, it is only Trans-women, do they also have a group for transmen, or what would they fall under?

Quick google search:

Non-Hijra Transgender Struggle For Identity

Transgender vs. Hijra Debate Hots Up

I consider that the main source of friction between the transgender vs. hijra issue does not lie with either of them, but with the refusal of the public at large to learn about trans issues. It's not that hijras are crowding out the space, it's that trans issues are afforded such little space that the public only seems to have the patience and sympathy for one group of trans people, and only if that group goes to the lengths the hijra community has gone to.

EDIT: Also, in the areas where this takes place, the gender division is not biological, it's cultural. They consider intersex people hijra or not based on their role in society. Applying a Westernised view to these affairs is probably not the way to go.


34 minutes into the first episode and I'm already attached to Nomi and her girlfriend. The flashback scene to their first Pride together just won me over.

I am so easy. :-/

Silver Crusade

Last night at work I went through a training course about the law regarding Equality. In Britain, there are nine 'protected' categories that it is illegal to discriminate against: age, gender, race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, pregnancy, marriage, and gender reassignment.

One of the test questions was something like, 'One of your employees is undergoing gender reassignment surgery, female to male, but the process means that he has to take time off work. You decide that this shows an insufficient dedication to his job, and decide to remove him from the leadership of his team. Is your decision legal?'

Answer: it would be illegal, because this would be discrimination, and since gender reassignment is 'protected', this would be illegal.

It left me feeling good about my country. What's the situation in the US? Does it depend on the state?

Also, I believe that gender reassignment surgery is free on the National Health, but there are some hoops to jump through.

Another thing to note about this law: although those nine things are 'protected', other things are not. That doesn't mean it's okay to harass people about things that are not protected, but you can choose to treat them differently in some ways.

For example: you are planning a works night out to celebrate a new contract. The plan is to go to a few nightclubs and get totally pissed drunk. You decide not to invite anyone over 50 on the grounds that you think it won't be their scene. That would be illegal; age discrimination.

Another example: the works day out to the park; there are some swings, and you decide to have a competition using the swings. You cannot legally prevent people taking part on the grounds that they are too old are because they have no arms and legs, because age and disability are protected. But you can say that someone is too heavy to take part, because 'weight' is not protected. This doesn't mean you can make fun of their weight, because that would be harassment.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

Last night at work I went through a training course about the law regarding Equality. In Britain, there are nine 'protected' categories that it is illegal to discriminate against: age, gender, race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, pregnancy, marriage, and gender reassignment.

One of the test questions was something like, 'One of your employees is undergoing gender reassignment surgery, female to male, but the process means that he has to take time off work. You decide that this shows an insufficient dedication to his job, and decide to remove him from the leadership of his team. Is your decision legal?'

Answer: it would be illegal, because this would be discrimination, and since gender reassignment is 'protected', this would be illegal.

It left me feeling good about my country. What's the situation in the US? Does it depend on the state?

It does - in a large number of states (including mine), there are no protections for sexual orientation or gender identity. (Employment-wise, I mean.)

Silver Crusade

Kalindlara wrote:
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

Last night at work I went through a training course about the law regarding Equality. In Britain, there are nine 'protected' categories that it is illegal to discriminate against: age, gender, race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, pregnancy, marriage, and gender reassignment.

One of the test questions was something like, 'One of your employees is undergoing gender reassignment surgery, female to male, but the process means that he has to take time off work. You decide that this shows an insufficient dedication to his job, and decide to remove him from the leadership of his team. Is your decision legal?'

Answer: it would be illegal, because this would be discrimination, and since gender reassignment is 'protected', this would be illegal.

It left me feeling good about my country. What's the situation in the US? Does it depend on the state?

It does - in a large number of states (including mine), there are no protections for sexual orientation or gender identity. (Employment-wise, I mean.)

Does this mean that even though you can now legally marry a person of the same gender, you can still get fired for being gay?

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:
Kalindlara wrote:
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

Last night at work I went through a training course about the law regarding Equality. In Britain, there are nine 'protected' categories that it is illegal to discriminate against: age, gender, race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, pregnancy, marriage, and gender reassignment.

One of the test questions was something like, 'One of your employees is undergoing gender reassignment surgery, female to male, but the process means that he has to take time off work. You decide that this shows an insufficient dedication to his job, and decide to remove him from the leadership of his team. Is your decision legal?'

Answer: it would be illegal, because this would be discrimination, and since gender reassignment is 'protected', this would be illegal.

It left me feeling good about my country. What's the situation in the US? Does it depend on the state?

It does - in a large number of states (including mine), there are no protections for sexual orientation or gender identity. (Employment-wise, I mean.)
Does this mean that even though you can now legally marry a person of the same gender, you can still get fired for being gay?

Pretty sure, yeah. :(


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:
Kalindlara wrote:
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

Last night at work I went through a training course about the law regarding Equality. In Britain, there are nine 'protected' categories that it is illegal to discriminate against: age, gender, race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, pregnancy, marriage, and gender reassignment.

One of the test questions was something like, 'One of your employees is undergoing gender reassignment surgery, female to male, but the process means that he has to take time off work. You decide that this shows an insufficient dedication to his job, and decide to remove him from the leadership of his team. Is your decision legal?'

Answer: it would be illegal, because this would be discrimination, and since gender reassignment is 'protected', this would be illegal.

It left me feeling good about my country. What's the situation in the US? Does it depend on the state?

It does - in a large number of states (including mine), there are no protections for sexual orientation or gender identity. (Employment-wise, I mean.)
Does this mean that even though you can now legally marry a person of the same gender, you can still get fired for being gay?

Pretty much. That's why, despite all the celebration over marriage, the work isn't done.

That said, many, but not most, states have their own laws and some cities and other localities have their own protections, though some conservative states are passing laws to override such local protections - so much for "local government knows best".

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:
Kalindlara wrote:
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

Last night at work I went through a training course about the law regarding Equality. In Britain, there are nine 'protected' categories that it is illegal to discriminate against: age, gender, race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, pregnancy, marriage, and gender reassignment.

One of the test questions was something like, 'One of your employees is undergoing gender reassignment surgery, female to male, but the process means that he has to take time off work. You decide that this shows an insufficient dedication to his job, and decide to remove him from the leadership of his team. Is your decision legal?'

Answer: it would be illegal, because this would be discrimination, and since gender reassignment is 'protected', this would be illegal.

It left me feeling good about my country. What's the situation in the US? Does it depend on the state?

It does - in a large number of states (including mine), there are no protections for sexual orientation or gender identity. (Employment-wise, I mean.)
Does this mean that even though you can now legally marry a person of the same gender, you can still get fired for being gay?

Yes indeedy. Expect to see plenty of pitches for ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) which feature that exact scenario.

It's no coincidence that I started transitioning a few months after Washington State passed their own non-discrimination laws.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber

My mother tried to use that as a reason for me to not transition...

8,351 to 8,400 of 17,781 << first < prev | 163 | 164 | 165 | 166 | 167 | 168 | 169 | 170 | 171 | 172 | 173 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Gamer Life / General Discussion / The LGBT Gamer Community Thread. All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.