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Shadow Lodge

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Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

I didn't lose my job...but I did have that thing happen that everyone warned me about, but I never thought would actually happen at *my* company.

It's called "so wait...how was it we hired a woman for this position?"

I went from being the lowest-level manager at my company to being the highest-level staff (and the highest level woman)...without ever changing jobs or responsibilities. I just stopped getting invited to meetings and stopped having my input taken seriously. My work product stayed the same, but my performance reviews went down measurably. All of the extra things I did that were not part of my official duties started to be ignored.

This, by the way, is how you know your transition worked...you're treated like every other woman in the workforce.


I've following the "add the words" movement here in Idaho. Our local paper reported today that even though a poll in January revieled 67 percent of people polled supported the add the words effort, our legislature killed the bill in March.


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Unfortunately I think alot of people in the US still see reassignment surgery as an elective one, in that it's not necessary at all.
In a way it is elective, as it's up to the individual whether they need to go that far, but I'd think once that decision is made, it's a very necessary one.


Just marathoned Sense8.

Mild-ish spoilers below.

Spoiler:
Very good, though I feel the spotlight was a bit unbalanced, in terms of usefulness. Most of the consistently useful people were Will, Wolfgang and Sun; though Lito, Kala and especially Nomi picked up a bit in the finale. Capheus felt like he was pigeonholed as "the driver" and Riley felt very helpless in general.

I liked how diverse the cast was, and how each of them got put through the grinder throughout the entire season (though I felt it was a bit excessive in Riley's case; she felt like the show's punching bag towards the end).

Sun was absolutely amazing and my favourite by far, followed closely by Nomi. Kala actually felt rather sympathetic (the actress was really good at conveying a sense of average-person-empowerment), and I wish she had been allowed to be more useful earlier on, I especially feel there was a missed opportunity for her to help out Wolfgang with Felix. Capheus felt like he could've been given more skills than just "a damn good driver and car jacker", and Wolfgang sort of lost his uniqueness as the show went on, sorta overlapping with Sun and Will (originally I thought Will was more of a firearms specialist and Sun was the melee specialist, but Will and Wolfgang sort of started blending together as "generic fighters").

I really wish Riley had been given a more obvious talent to help people out, and I think there was a missed opportunity with her (and everyone in general) in that there weren't any scenes where one character is scouting ahead/behind another. Riley could have been the character with the best eyesight and hearing of them all (especially hearing), and she could've showed up all throughout the season as a "spotter" and a scout for the others.

Overall it was an extremely good show and I am looking forward to S2.


I agree with some of what you said, but I got the feel they did not intend to let everyone's full story out of the bag in one season.


Anyway, this show has it's own thread, if it's going to be discussed in general.


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Lissa Guillet wrote:
It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

this fills me with rage.

Why does it matter what someone's race, gender identity, or sexuality are? Unless the job is "person I get to have sex with" the latter two truly do not matter.


Kryzbyn wrote:
Anyway, this show has it's own thread, if it's going to be discussed in general.

Oh neat, thanks. Heading there right away. Sorry for the thread derail!


Freehold DM wrote:
Lissa Guillet wrote:
It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

this fills me with rage.

Why does it matter what someone's race, gender identity, or sexuality are? Unless the job is "person I get to have sex with" the latter two truly do not matter.

All three, truth be told.

Tangent - in looking back on my career in my chosen field, there is a trend or tendency that maybe corroborates what Lissa observed (not that there's cause for doubt - I mean this in the sense that as this sort of thing is often derided as 'not real' by people who aren't subject to such experiences themselves I want to assure that one is not, as they say, "taking crazy pills")

Granted, my experiences tie into the unfortunate stereotype about the inability of one of my ethnicity to hold a job, but it still gave me the insight to note that, even in deeply red Texas, I had always worked with at least one Transperson if the job was in Telecommunications - and in a sizable number of regular IT jobs as well. The more notable exceptions to this experience were in working for companies in industries that leaned much more conservative - weapons industry, aerospace, construction, etc. One particular company, the person I knew from there had transitioned after 2 years with the company, and their advancement essentially came to a screeching halt in spite of heightened productivity, improved job performance metrics, and being most senior and experienced in the department. I was at the job for 6 months as a contractor and saw at least three people who came on board after me get promoted over her.

At the time I ascribed it to the Peter Principle. :-/


Freehold DM wrote:
Lissa Guillet wrote:
It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

this fills me with rage.

Why does it matter what someone's race, gender identity, or sexuality are? Unless the job is "person I get to have sex with" the latter two truly do not matter.

Because we're human beings and not strictly rational machines. We judge and make decisions about others on illogical criteria all the time.

Whether it's race, gender identity, and sexuality or height, attractiveness and dress, none of which are really relevant to most jobs. Many people aren't even aware their doing it. Just going by their impressions and their feel for "whether this person would be a good fit".
Which tends to come out as "is like me".

It takes a pretty serious level of self-awareness to really see your biases kick in on the fly.


TheAntiElite wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Lissa Guillet wrote:
It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

this fills me with rage.

Why does it matter what someone's race, gender identity, or sexuality are? Unless the job is "person I get to have sex with" the latter two truly do not matter.

All three, truth be told.

my anger got the better of me, of course race doesn't matter.


Freehold DM wrote:
TheAntiElite wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Lissa Guillet wrote:
It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

this fills me with rage.

Why does it matter what someone's race, gender identity, or sexuality are? Unless the job is "person I get to have sex with" the latter two truly do not matter.

All three, truth be told.
my anger got the better of me, of course race doesn't matter.

Totally understood, man, just was caught off guard by the omission. To a small extent I understand if an image is being maintained - mind, I wouldn't want to work in a place where my physical presence might be perceived as an intrusion, but that's just me - yet it seems like such terrible business sense to mistreat any potentially valuable asset purely on aesthetic reasons. I daresay more so if you are treating your employees as your dating pool unless you have a ton of airtight legal documents to indicate consent of the most non-coerced nature. Even then, it just seems like an incredibly bad idea.

Shadow Lodge

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Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
Freehold DM wrote:
TheAntiElite wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Lissa Guillet wrote:
It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

this fills me with rage.

Why does it matter what someone's race, gender identity, or sexuality are? Unless the job is "person I get to have sex with" the latter two truly do not matter.

All three, truth be told.
my anger got the better of me, of course race doesn't matter.

The way I interpreted what you wrote was that race wasn't a factor in who you had sex with, not that you thought it should be a factor in hiring.


pH unbalanced wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
TheAntiElite wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Lissa Guillet wrote:
It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

this fills me with rage.

Why does it matter what someone's race, gender identity, or sexuality are? Unless the job is "person I get to have sex with" the latter two truly do not matter.

All three, truth be told.
my anger got the better of me, of course race doesn't matter.
The way I interpreted what you wrote was that race wasn't a factor in who you had sex with, not that you thought it should be a factor in hiring.

that is indeed what I meant, but I could have been clearer


pH unbalanced wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
TheAntiElite wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Lissa Guillet wrote:
It is very easy for trans people to lose their jobs and they often do. I for example lost my job in a reorg, probably largely because I was showing a lot of outward signs that I was trans. I used the time to transition full time and it became exceedingly difficult to find a job in my chosen field after that. It would be hard to tell if that was because I was trans or a woman but either way, interviews became few and far between. Before transition, I got every interview and every job interviewed for.

this fills me with rage.

Why does it matter what someone's race, gender identity, or sexuality are? Unless the job is "person I get to have sex with" the latter two truly do not matter.

All three, truth be told.
my anger got the better of me, of course race doesn't matter.
The way I interpreted what you wrote was that race wasn't a factor in who you had sex with, not that you thought it should be a factor in hiring.

I honestly was unsure where the whole thing was going and misparsed. Then again, in rereading, I think I'm somewhat chagrined by the agreement because it sounds more harshly discriminatory in my mind than how I would want to convey it.

Paizo Employee Senior Editor

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The 2015 World Cup—the most out yet—came to a close last night. The US team won, but both teams played very well and it was a lovely game to watch. And the pause just before the trophies were given out was also wonderful, especially, amid all the celebrations on the field, star player* Abby Wambach's sweet moment with her wife! (FEELINGS!!)

* She has more international goals than any other soccer player ever!!!

Silver Crusade System Administrator

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Nice!


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Article about Robert Biedroń, whom I mentioned a few times in this thread before - the first openly gay MP in Poland and currently a mayor of a small city that is seen by as a potential presidential candidate.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

Oh man, that would be amazing. A polish friend of mine is not complementary about the glbt scene in her homeland.


Judy Bauer wrote:

The 2015 World Cup—the most out yet—came to a close last night. The US team won, but both teams played very well and it was a lovely game to watch. And the pause just before the trophies were given out was also wonderful, especially, amid all the celebrations on the field, star player* Abby Wambach's sweet moment with her wife! (FEELINGS!!)

* She has more international goals than any other soccer player ever!!!

Which picture is that?


TanithT wrote:
The Alkenstarian wrote:


Asking someone in a committed relationship if they can join in, without ANY invitation having been extended, but just for their own kicks and because...
Depends on the culture. It's awfully rude and self-centered to assume that every community is monogamous and shares your personal set of taboos about how sex is supposed to happen between consenting adults. There are cultures where polite invitations to join in fun of that nature are friendly rather than disrespectful.

But you're arguing in favour of what I'm saying already. You're saying that an invitation may be forthcoming in certain social situations, depending on where you are.

I'm absolutely fine with that.

What I consider universally rude is to assume that you have ANY KIND of right to walk up to someone in a committed relationship, and invite yourself to take part.

I've been at enough "alternative lifestyle"-events to know that even there, it's considered good manners not to try to barge in on other people's marriage or long-lasting relationship, even if that relationship is an open one, although if someone invites you to take part in such situations, hey presto, enjoy yourself.

I may, of course, be wrong in thinking that this would be considered reasonably good manners everywhere. It MAY in fact be, that there are groups or places in the world, where barging in uninvited is considered not only perfectly acceptable but even polite.

I haven't come across them yet, and so I have to assume this extremely rare, but of course ... if this is in fact a thing with some people, then fine by me. As long as, as you said yourself, there is enough sense of decorum not acknowledge the "When in Rome"-aspect that you yourself mentioned.

Paizo Employee Senior Editor

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Paladin of Baha-who? wrote:
Judy Bauer wrote:

The 2015 World Cup—the most out yet—came to a close last night. The US team won, but both teams played very well and it was a lovely game to watch. And the pause just before the trophies were given out was also wonderful, especially, amid all the celebrations on the field, star player* Abby Wambach's sweet moment with her wife! (FEELINGS!!)

* She has more international goals than any other soccer player ever!!!

Which picture is that?

That's the video at the top of the article. ^_^


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Wow almost 170 pages of LGBT talk for the past 3 years.

I just wanted to pop in and say that you guys/gals/inbetweens are great. Don't let anyone's prejudice get you down. Just be yourself and if people dont like you that's their problem.

If anyone of you lives in or near Red Deer, Alberta I have a group that plays that is very accepting of everyone if you are interested in joining. Just PM me for info.


Can someone explain to me why Burning the Rainbow Flag is a Hate Crime and you get arrested, yet you are allowed to do whatever you want with the US Flag? Seems to me a double standard. Either they are both hate crimes or they are both protests. My opinion, individual though it is, the only flag in this country that should matter, is the US Flag, with all others being completely irrelevant. YMMV.


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Matthias Naelaron wrote:
Can someone explain to me why Burning the Rainbow Flag is a Hate Crime and you get arrested, yet you are allowed to do whatever you want with the US Flag? Seems to me a double standard. Either they are both hate crimes or they are both protests. My opinion, individual though it is, the only flag in this country that should matter, is the US Flag, with all others being completely irrelevant. YMMV.

Burning someone else's American flag on their lawn is also a crime.


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Burning the American Flag is not a threat to a specific class of people. Unlike burning the pride flag.

Much like the difference between painting a swastika on your Jewish neighbors house vs painting a peace sign on it. One is a reference and a threat, the other simple vandalism.


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Matthias Naelaron wrote:
Can someone explain to me why Burning the Rainbow Flag is a Hate Crime and you get arrested, yet you are allowed to do whatever you want with the US Flag? Seems to me a double standard. Either they are both hate crimes or they are both protests. My opinion, individual though it is, the only flag in this country that should matter, is the US Flag, with all others being completely irrelevant. YMMV.

I'm not sure what you are talking about. On my own property, I can burn either flag (assuming I do it in a BBQ pit or other place approved for burning things). In public, I'm not allowed to burn anything.

This is what happens if you are accused of lighting fires where I'm from.

Maybe the laws are different where you are from?

EDIT: If someone comes unto my property, starts a fire and leaves a note threatening future crimes, that is like half a dozen different serious crimes.

EDIT: Also because The Goats are cool, and Newt Gingrich sucks!


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Matthias Naelaron wrote:
Can someone explain to me why Burning the Rainbow Flag is a Hate Crime and you get arrested, yet you are allowed to do whatever you want with the US Flag? Seems to me a double standard. Either they are both hate crimes or they are both protests. My opinion, individual though it is, the only flag in this country that should matter, is the US Flag, with all others being completely irrelevant. YMMV.

I assume you're talking about this?

It's a crime because the perpetrator came onto the Palmers' property, burned their flag, and left a threatening anti-gay message. It's the same reason that carrying a swastika-emblazoned banner in a KKK rally is protected speech, while spray-painting a swastika on the side of a synagogue is a crime.

Your disingenuous question makes it sound like someone was walking in an anti-gay protest parade and burned their own rainbow flag. That's not the case. That would be protected political speech, no matter how odious and bigoted. This was vandalism, done with the intent to Intimidate and harass due to political stance.


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To my understanding, a Hate Crime is not a legal definition of a crime in itself, it's an aggravating qualifier added to another crime. So in order for something to be a Hate Crime, it must already be a crime in and of itself, so if I hear that someone burnt a flag and it was considered a Hate Crime, clearly it must have been someone else's flag (because burning other people's property is a crime), or the burning must have been considered a fire hazard, and therefore punishable by law.

In both those cases, the action is already a crime, and the fact that it's a Pride flag and burnt with anti-LGBT sentiment is what makes it a Hate Crime.


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Or maybe you mean this? Same thing. Someone maliciously burned a flag being flown by a pro-LGBT person.

Or this. Same thing.

Or this? Same thing again.

This one wasn't the property of the people being intimidated. But that's still clearly a threat, nit protected speech.


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Paladin of Baha-who? wrote:
I assume you're talking about this?

I don't think that is the incident the poster was referring to because that WAS an American flag -

"The Palmers’ woke up to a big surprise on their front lawn Monday morning. Alexandra Palmer said, “It was my American flag with rainbow stripes for gay pride and someone had burned it with a hate note on it, and held it down by rocks.”"
Must be one of the other incidents...

Oh, and this one is right out also:

Paladin of Baha-who? wrote:
This one wasn't the property of the people being intimidated. But that's still clearly a threat, nit protected speech.

Because Mathias specifically mentioned getting arrested, and I guarantee the NYPD never bothered to really investigate that incident, much less make an arrest. The NYPD are generally not interested in investigating anything.

Shadow Lodge

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Okay, so we have to endure the month or three of aggravated caterwauling from the far right now that the SCOTUS has ruled that we have like, at least minimal rights and all; but that doesn't mean that we can't have some fun.

Who is going to make it to Gen Con this year? I look forward to actually meeting some of my fellow LGBTQA Pathfinders. I will be GMing most of the weekend (I volunteered for Tier one just to experience it once in my life).

Shadow Lodge

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

My wife and I will be at GenCon. My schedule mostly boils down to playing the specials, and spending most of the rest of the time doing Demos of the Card Game.

Shadow Lodge

I will be GMing all three specials this year; mid tiers. Hopefully I'll have you at one of my tables.

Look for the middle aged bald guy with a hat and a red and white goatee. There can't be too many like that GMing, right? :p


I'm at connecticon....


Fergie wrote:
Paladin of Baha-who? wrote:
I assume you're talking about this?

I don't think that is the incident the poster was referring to because that WAS an American flag -

"The Palmers’ woke up to a big surprise on their front lawn Monday morning. Alexandra Palmer said, “It was my American flag with rainbow stripes for gay pride and someone had burned it with a hate note on it, and held it down by rocks.”"

There's an argument to be made that an flag with different colors isn't the actual American flag.

As for cons, I won't be going to any, except maybe local cons in the fall.


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Usual Suspect wrote:
Okay, so we have to endure

Revel in. Its all in how you look at it.

smiles and sways, directing the caterwauling with a conductors baton

Paizo Employee Senior Editor

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Usual Suspect wrote:
Who is going to make it to Gen Con this year? I look forward to actually meeting some of my fellow LGBTQA Pathfinders. I will be GMing most of the weekend (I volunteered for Tier one just to experience it once in my life).

I'll be there as part of the Paizo contingent—stop by the booth or Paizo's Diversity in Gaming panel and say hi!

Shadow Lodge

Judy Bauer wrote:
Usual Suspect wrote:
I'll be there as part of the Paizo contingent—stop by the booth or Paizo's Diversity in Gaming panel and say hi!

I'm pretty sure that I'm GMing a game during the Diversity panel; but I'll definitely say hi.

Shadow Lodge

Yeah, will be at Gencon, but don't think I will have any free time to stop at that panels. :(

I understand that that there will me some Gaymer ribbons being distributed somewhere in the con. I would love to pick one up for my own Gencon badge.


I'm stuck working here :(


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I was shopping the other day at a local grocery store and one of the cashiers is transgender. She's a nice young lady and always does a great job so I was a little shocked when the lady in front of me told her she should be ashamed. I looked to see if maybe the cashier was dressed inappropriately for work. She had on a long skirt that went down to her ankles, a short sleeve shirt with a regular collar, and what I hope were comfortable shoes since she stands all day. The woman started going off about how it was wrong for the cashier to go against God. Before she went any further, I interrupted and had to give her an earful. Turns out that the cashier is also a gamer! Looks like we're going to get together for some game soon! I guess we both win.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Sweet!

*high fives awesomest cutest grub*


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
I was shopping the other day at a local grocery store and one of the cashiers is transgender. She's a nice young lady and always does a great job so I was a little shocked when the lady in front of me told her she should be ashamed. I looked to see if maybe the cashier was dressed inappropriately for work. She had on a long skirt that went down to her ankles, a short sleeve shirt with a regular collar, and what I hope were comfortable shoes since she stands all day. The woman started going off about how it was wrong for the cashier to go against God. Before she went any further, I interrupted and had to give her an earful. Turns out that the cashier is also a gamer! Looks like we're going to get together for some game soon! I guess we both win.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

Silver Crusade System Administrator

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Nice. ^_^


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:) You might have made that lady's day.


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That is so cool! Well done, Bob. I really wish more people did that for total strangers.

Shadow Lodge

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Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Wow. The pentagon announced today that they are starting a six-month review to decide if transfolk can openly serve in the military. This is the first step in lifting that ban.


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She was very happy that someone else defended her. I'm sure she's done it enough and I'm sure that her coworkers have as well. I don't see a lot of people around here saying anything negative like that to employees. Seattle is mostly polite and accepting. There are always the few who feel the need to try and ruin someone's day though.

I always try to stand up for others. It's not done often for me and I know what it's like to feel alone while being attacked, even if it's not overt. The smallest thing can make all the difference. When I was in college the school paper came through the labs and wanted to take some pictures of us doing science stuff. They asked my lab partner if he would be willing to get with someone else in the picture. He said he would love to have his picture taken but only if it was with his current lab partner (me). He was a physically fit, good looking younger guy. I was an obese, mediocre looking, middle aged guy. They said they would rather have him in the picture with one of the women (who happened to also be attractive). He declined saying that it's either his friend/lab partner or not at all. They decided to not take his picture. I haven't forgotten that small gesture. I plan on carrying it forward whenever I can.

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