Doom Comes to Dustpawn

[Veiled Nail]

Solnes wrote:

I have a question. We don't play in Golarion.. I see a lot of talk here about the name of the town. Is this an already named town or did Mike come name it?

I looked it up last night in the ISWG - this is a pre-existing location in Isger.

[Treppa]

Solnes wrote:

I have a question. We don't play in Golarion.. I see a lot of talk here about the name of the town. Is this an already named town or did Mike come name it?

Looks like it's an existing settlement in Isger. And I keep reading it 'Dustspawn' as well.

EDIT: Ninja'd!

[houstonderek]

Yeah, I think it's funny that Clark and Ryan point out the name of the town and how they consistently mispronounced it. And how that's a negative toward the proposal.

I'm sure that Mike chose that locale because the topography and terrain features fit his concept. Any issues with the name of the town should be directed toward Paizo; they named it, not Mike.

;-)

[James Jacobs]

Evil Midnight Lurker wrote:

This gets my vote, although the village does need a name change: it's not just that the name doesn't roll off the tongue, it's that I find it hard to imagine people naming their own village "Dustpawn." :)

Dustpawn is already canon. If this adventure wins, we can certainly change the location of this adventure to another village, but Dustpawn itself is in the Inner Sea World Guide already. So it's name isn't going to change.

As for how to say the name... my preference is to slur the t and the p, getting something like:

DUSS-pawn

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Well, I'm coming in late, so it's hard to offer something substantive beyond what's already mentioned. But that's rarely stopped me from commenting before...

I really really liked both this entry and Tom's "Scarlet God," but I'm going to vote for this one. I thought Tom's entry was great, even if they excise the Leng machinations for something else, but Mike's entry hooked me even better. It feels more urgent, like the clock is really ticking, and spurs the PCs to start acting immediately. While I recognize the scifi angle others mentioned, to me it feels much more like a action-adventure movie; the scifi/horror isn't really important to the plot until later stages and as a hook/epilogue of more possible unfathomable alienness to come (sequel?). And certainly there is much much more "tech" in Numeria or the Red Redoubt of Karamoss; there seems little opportunity for disruptive acquisition of tech by PCs here, unless the GM allows that option.

While I like Isger's Dustpawn as a setting, I think Mr. Jacob's suggestion of moving it to the Sodden Lands would be a great choice. I understand the excitement to put it in Numeria, but I'd think a Numerian module/AP would be much better served by an adventure that plays up the tech and "Thundarr"inspired elements.

I also like that many of the monster hybrids creatively re-skin existing Bestiary monsters, similar to (inspired by?) Mr. Reynold's own FB posts/tweets for GMs.

Great job, Mike, and I certainly look forward to seeing this module (hopefully) being selected. :)

[Patrick Curtin]

Mike, another great entry. I have voted for your submissions down the line, and this is no different. You play my kind of game sir, and I hope this proposal sees the winners circle! I really want to buy this bad boy.

[Celeador]

This was a fantastic entry and it was a hard decision between you and Tom. While I personally disagreed with some of you choices (round 2) I believe in a blank slate come the final four. Mike, there are so many elements here that I loved. The Adventure is bold, and open ended, it has a sense of urgency about it that starts from the crash and the pace keeps up during the entire time. Another thing that I really enjoyed is that that your main antagonist is clearly alluded to via multiple plot devices. Allowing for the PC's to be potential descents was another clever move. I do agree with the majority of the posters however that the one glaring stumble was your choice of location, I believe tha Isger was a bad call when the background I feel would have fit better in Numeria or The Sodden Lands, regardless however you have my vote... Besides as a old school player you had me at the memory of barrier peaks. Bravo!

[aeglos]

Mike,
let me say first, I am not a fan of SiFi/Fantasy Mix up so I was not enthusiastic when I started reading. But wow, you blew me away. I would buy this in an instant. Great ideas, great build up.
You got my vote

[RonarsCorruption]

Wow, this is an exciting adventure. There's a few missteps in pacing (like, as has been mentioned the lack of a boss until the very end), and your writing isn't as good as some of your competitiors, but that's all spit and polish. The core of this adventure is excellent and interesting.

Such good adventures this round...

[Celestial Healer]

I love the fact that this module is somewhat contained in scope. The consequences of failure are very real, but at the same time it does not overreach. Rather than taking the PCs to alien territory, it brings the alien territory to them, which was a good design choice given the space limitations of a single module.

More than anything, I think this module would be a lot of fun for a group to play around the table, and that is what gets my vote.

[GeneticDrift]

Even a gargantuan ship is stopped by a claster lvl 8 feather fall. My point was nothing stops the adventure from happening, which is both good and bad. And There are multiple mcguffens which annoys the pc in me. Anyway It will probably be better than trail of the beast.

[Bill Lumberg]

I meant to elaborate on why I voted for this submittal. It stood out because it is the only one in which the antagonists' (initial) actions were not motivated toward a malevolent end. They were conducting an experiment in pursuit of knowledge which is something that spellcasters are often seen doing in literature. But the experiment went awry and now the PCs are left to deal with the consequences.

The designers have made some excellent critiques and suggestions, like changing the time that the PCs receive the warning. These and the other changes would make this a fantastic adventure for both players and the DM.

[Daniel Rust]

Mike, I didn’t expect to like this. I never thought I’d be able to get past the MRA. But, I am surprised and really pleased to say, this is awesome.

I think this submission is the most fun. It’s creepy and funny at the same time which is really hard to pull off. One group might run it as a dark thriller and another might see it as a light-hearted romp. It would work just as well for both, which I think is a real triumph.

It’s really well set up and structured too. It’s not just fun ideas and no substance. You’ve really put it together well. I’d maybe lose one scene to cut the length down a bit. Probably the Night Hunters. The others are just too much fun. I love the toad and the warren. A bit more detail on the Emissary would have been nice and some of the DCs are a bit much, but I don’t think there’s much wrong otherwise.

The only thing that pulls me away from voting for you is that I think it could be more polished. It’s a bit of a rough gem and feels a little bit like a really great homebrewed adventure. Some of the writing could be tidier. I don’t think you’re as strong there as some of the other contestants. I think you’ve really improved though which gives me confidence that you’ll continue to get better. The re-skinning of monsters is a good idea for a home campaign and as a short hand for a competition but it doesn’t feel like something you’d see in a Paizo adventure. Using a boggard with wizard levels is absolutely something I would do at home and it would be a lot of fun but it’s a bit of a rough and ready patch for a professional module.

All that said though, this is a great submission. I would definitely play it and I’m already thinking of stealing elements of it for my own game. You’ve got a fun imagination and a creativity which either hits or misses in a big way. Paizo might see that as a risk and I’m sure you’ll have Mark Moreland banging his head on his desk a few times if you win, but I think when you get it right, like you have here, you really bring an entertaining sensibility to the game. Having fun is what it’s all about after all.

I haven’t quite decided yet, but you’re very close to getting my vote. Good luck in the voting and I look forward to seeing what wacky scenario you come up with next!

[Ask A RPGSupersuccubus]

Disclaimer:
Ask A RPGSupersuccubus provides the much needed viewpoint of a CE aligned (very advanced) succubus. The following review pays assiduous attention to fairness, balance, and logic. That said, these are Abyssal notions of those concepts, wheretofore today ‘fairness’ is an installation (occasionally of a ‘blast’ variety) commonly employed by someone with an over-the-top posh accent for smelting metals or toasting lightly flammable enemies, ‘balance’ is a large green vaguely pachyderm creature with a penchant for trampling magi, and logic is a very special form of magic which irrefutably proves a succubus is always right.

For the purpose of reviewing this proposal, I shall consider the quartet of adventurous succubi Anthea, Byrria, Cynthia and Daria to be in the area. Whilst it is at least unwise (if not outright foolish) to take any succubus for granted, I am sufficiently familiar with the four of them to be certain of their likely general reactions to any circumstance detailed here. As a matter of Good Manners, here are a few details regarding the four:
Anthea:

Spoiler:

Anthea is an inquisitor who loosely associates with the church of Gorum. She enjoys uncovering the truth ‘by any and all means necessary’ – and the public exposure of the trivial little secrets that mortals keep from one another is often (at the very least) good for causing a punch up. She is fond of spiked armour and (by succubus standards) is relatively enthusiastic when it comes to physical brawling.

Byrria:

Spoiler:

Byrria is a lady ‘archeologist’ – she dislikes to use the term ‘tomb-robber’ to describe herself except when there happens to be a cleric of Asmodeus in the vicinity whom a whiff of anything remotely illegal is guaranteed to successfully wind-up. The cultures of some mortals whereby the deceased are buried with extraordinarily valuable and nice looking objects is something which she’s never quite understood the mentality behind, but which she nonetheless appreciates tremendously – since she loves to acquire such objects and it’s often less fuss and easier to remove them from ‘archeological sites’ than from a palace patrolled and supervised by living guards.
Byrria is a fan of the demon lords Aldinach and Areshkagal.

Cynthia:

Spoiler:

Cynthia is a wizardess. She’s interested in unlocking the secrets of the universe to gain vast personal power, and is more than happy to share what she’s learned thus far with anyone foolish enough to suggest ‘there’s no such thing as a wizardess; only a female wizard’. (Generally such ‘sharings’ tend to involve evocation spells of a highly destructive nature, or the summoning of large heavy metal objects in the vicinity of ten feet above the wit in question’s head.)
Owing to a misunderstanding during an escapade when she was dealing with some daemons Cynthia acquired a paladin of Erastil familiar (Also Known As a ‘husband’). She generally leaves her familiar at home, moping around his estates in Brevoy, but the empathic link does occasionally bother her. However he is too Lawful and she is too proud for either of them to take well to suggestions (whether helpful or otherwise) that their union might in any way have been a Mistake. Owing to their mutual refusal regarding acknowledging the possibility of a Mistake, their family was recently expanded by the addition of a passably cute little baby alu-fiend, named Cassiantha (or at least that’s the abbreviated version employed in polite company). Cassiantha is currently in a stage where her cuteness is inversely proportional to her state of being awake.
When it comes to religion, Cynthia is fascinated by the deity Nethys in his destructive aspect.

Daria:

Spoiler:

Daria is a bard. She loves being an object of rapturous mortal adoration, the bigger the crowd and the acclaim the better. A passable performer on the mandolin and with a good singing voice, she admires the goddess Shelyn as a patron of the arts. She considers herself a true devotee of Shelyn, although given the steps that she’s prepared to take at times to ensure an audience, most worshipers and clerics of Shelyn would beg to differ on that point. Daria is aware of that but waves aside such opinions as ‘the artistic jealousies of lesser performers’. She is happy to do what she considers a ‘favour’ for the church of Shelyn any time she perceives that one may need doing (and often irrespective of whether such a favour was even asked of her in the first place).

Anthea, Byrria, Cynthia, and Daria are either in or travelling through the area for the purpose of a shopping expedition. How likely are the initial events presented to interest them and if not sufficiently enticing what might it take to engage their involvement?
Between Cynthia and Daria, there’s probably enough interest in knowledge and exciting things to at least hang around and watch the ‘meteor’ come down. Laura shrieking and waking up Cassiantha is guaranteed to get one chaos beast put down (especially if they’ve only just got Cynthia's little poppet off to sleep), even though it’s usually good manners not to mess with chaos beasts doing their thing. At that point, curiosity will likely prompt them to at least check out the object from the skies.

So just what is likely to happen once four succubi (and a baby alu-fiend) do get involved?
I’m distinctly sceptical that information present in the ‘meteor’ is likely to convince them that five creatures have escaped. Even assuming that an exceptionally ‘convenient’ piece of paperwork indicates that there are at least five wizards and their familiars unaccounted for, for all that Anthea, Byrria, Cynthia, and Daria know, those wizards could have been lost decades ago or burnt up in the re-entry or eaten by one of the dangerous things wandering around the wreckage. The notion that they teleported in ahead of schedule as a spearhead for an invasion force is slightly less credible than the notion that the missing wizards were invited to dinner by one of Alma’s masters and never came back.
The succubi are likely to simply help themselves to any interesting information, and wander off to catch the end of that sale in Kerse that they were probably on their way to visit. If there is anything weird going on, the (l)awful local authorities and their Chelish overlords are welcome to it. The succubi certainly aren’t going to hang around and wait with a detachment of Hellknights quite likely on the way to investigate…

What about the aftermath?
A rather amusing situation of Hellknights versus chaos beasts seems likely to be the destiny of the area in the near future. Let’s be quite frank about this, a quartet of succubi aren’t going to stick their necks out to fight chaos and save a bunch of Hellknights a job (or not unless provoked, such as by a rather badly timed transformation just when they’ve got Cassiantha off to sleep). Even in the rather unlikely event that information in the wreckage indicated that the ‘emissary’ was en route – such entities being Unacceptable Forms of Chaos – the absolutely delicious chance to leave such a thing to Hellknights to cope with would likely override their ordinary instincts to deal with it.

Predicted Extraneous Body Count:
This is one of those delicate questions involving whether not chasing exceedingly improbable chances which results in further demises counts or not? Sadly, probably not for the purposes of this question, otherwise leaving this situation to develop naturally would push the count quite high. I foresee no extraneous body count.

Further Disclaimer:
Ask A RPGSupersuccubus (out of deference to Lord Orcus) would like to once again remind voters that she has been providing a (very advanced) succubus’ take on this round’s entries, and that whilst her assessments are (naturally) impeccable, voters might like to consider other opinions and sources, too.

[Aaron Miller 335]

This is a great proposal it has a War Hammer Fantasy fell to it and that a good thing. I do not know why every one was thinking UFO for the space ship I'm seeing a wooden ship with magic power not science. It looks like fun to play, hope you win

[Mike Welham]

I can't properly express my full appreciation for all the support, kind words, and, yes, criticism I've received from you all during this competition.

Neil and Clark both mentioned early on how they expected people to grow during RPG Superstar, and I admit that I thought that was improbable in such a short time frame. Was I ever wrong. I feel like I've learned quite a bit over the past three months, and I hope I've demonstrated it.

Regardless of the outcome of this round, I plan to make the most of the opportunity. Heck, if Doom doesn't get selected as the Superstar module, I'll run it at PaizoCon. :)

Thank you all very very very much!

[nathan blackmer]

I missed the chance to vote, but I would like to leave some feedback.

Mike - I was really torn between you and Tom Phillips. His work displays a level of polish and finish that yours lacks, but your work is more over the top creative. I'm not saying either is better, but Tom, I think, is a sure thing. He's going to be writing for somebody somewhere no matter what - and frankly Paizo would be foolish NOT to hire him.

I loved your monster, and your module proposal. I think, ultimately, for me at least... you would benefit the most from winning this competition, and vice versa, I think Pathfinder would benefit from you winning the most.

Congratulations on a good run and a stellar final entry, I sincerely hope that either you or Tom wins, and that whatever happens you BOTH get to write for Paizo.

[Tels]

nathan blackmer wrote:

I missed the chance to vote, but I would like to leave some feedback.

Mike - I was really torn between you and Tom Phillips. His work displays a level of polish and finish that yours lacks, but your work is more over the top creative. I'm not saying either is better, but Tom, I think, is a sure thing. He's going to be writing for somebody somewhere no matter what - and frankly Paizo would be foolish NOT to hire him.

I loved your monster, and your module proposal. I think, ultimately, for me at least... you would benefit the most from winning this competition, and vice versa, I think Pathfinder would benefit from you winning the most.

Congratulations on a good run and a stellar final entry, I sincerely hope that either you or Tom wins, and that whatever happens you BOTH get to write for Paizo.

I've been pretty critical of several of Tom's things, but I voted for most of his stuff when I had the option to. But I agree, Mike would benefit more. Tom has already written an adventure, The Ship of Fools, for TPK Games, so he's already well on his way to becoming a better freelancer. I've heard some good reviews from it already, and I'm interested in picking it up when the next paycheck comes in.

Tom has been in the competition three times, now, we know he's good. We know what he can do and we know he's got a future in writing. But Mike doesn't have that same exposure to the public that Tom does. Mike's name is out there now, but Tom came into this competition, I think, with an advantage of everyone knowing him. This was one of the reasons I was more critical of his submissions than others in that he's had the experience of two other runs.

Either way, I foresee many of the contestants getting more job offers from gaming companies, but I'm not going to lie when I say I look forward more to Mike's material than Tom's. His submissions jived more with my personal style of gaming, and my personality.

[Cheapy]

Just a correction, or clarification, for Tels' statement...Tom Phillips is already a contributor at Paizo. He worked on UC. So it's not just TPK Games he's worked for.

[Cheapy]

As a clarification to my statement, thanks to Justin Franklin, Mike Welham has *also* done work for Paizo.

So uh...yea.

[MicMan]

Imho it shouldn't really matter who did already write what and may have a bright future anyways.

I was torn between this entry and the one Tom Phillips submitted and found this a teeny weeny tad bit more interesting.

It really was that close and I think it has never been closer in RPG Superstar before.

So really there should be two winners.

[nathan blackmer]

CONGRATS BADGAH!

[Tels]

Congratulations Mike on a winning RPG Superstar! I look forward to purchasing this Module!

[Mike Welham]

Thanks! I look forward to writing it! :D

[MJinthePitt]

Congrats. I'll definitely be picking this up!

[Aaron Miller 335]

Congrats!

[Solnes]

Wooo Hooo!!!! :D

[Ask A Succubus Flag-waver]

Oooh! It's the badger! Bundle!!!!!

[Ask a Succubus]

Ask A Succubus Flag-waver wrote:

Oooh! It's the badger! Bundle!!!!!

Is it actually fair to threadjack the poor mustelid like this?

[Ask A Succubus Flag-waver]

Ask a Succubus wrote:

Ask A Succubus Flag-waver wrote:

Oooh! It's the badger! Bundle!!!!!

Is it actually fair to threadjack the poor mustelid like this?

Hey, it's not like there’s any voting left now, and we know him. Wait a moment. I’m getting a strange sense of déjà-vu here…

[Ask a Succubus]

Ask A Succubus Flag-waver wrote:

Ask a Succubus wrote:

Ask A Succubus Flag-waver wrote:

Oooh! It's the badger! Bundle!!!!!

Is it actually fair to threadjack the poor mustelid like this?

Hey, it's not like there’s any voting left now, and we know him. Wait a moment. I’m getting a strange sense of déjà-vu here…

You mean like we've done this before to one of his threads in this contest? And now here he is in this position at the end? How strange...

[Ask A Succubus Journalist]

taig wrote:

I'd be remiss in not thanking RPGSupersuccubus, whose advice will most certainly help in later rounds of the contest...assuming I make it past the Organization round. Luckily, I had a spare drawer in my filing cabinet which helped me get organized. :)

We need something new we can quote! About what a farty-pants he thinks Asmodeus is, or what his favourite method of killing devils is!

[Ask A Succubus Enforcer]

We need his comments on succubus...
<This post was edited by Ask A Succubus Censor, on the grounds that the badger probably needs what's left of his sanity given the herculean tasks ahead of him now....

[Ask A Succubus Censor]

That's quite enough for now, ladies. Let Ask A RPGSupersuccubus get on wth her 'wrapping things up' post.

[Bob Drouin]

Congratulations and a hooty-hoo! The stars for a Superstar, eh?

==Aelryinth

[Ask A RPGSupersuccubus]

<ahem>
Dear Mr. Taig,
Congratulations on reaching the top 1 of this year's RPGSuperstar contest. Unfortunately, there is no Round 6 (or at least not one which Paizo has yet publicised) so your efforts to prolong your run in the contest have been in vain, and now you get the booby-prize of writing a 32 page module.
With Sean Reynolds sending you emails.
No pressure, honest. (Actually, that was sarcasm, let's just be quite clear...)
At this point, from the viewpoint of a CE aligned (very advanced) succubus, I'd have to say that I found your monster reformation alliance the most engaging entry, although some sort of indication of what nifty uniforms (or the like) that they wore (if any) would have strengthened it, from that same perspective. Ah well, given the almost complete absence of details about what snazzy robes or heraldic crests the organizations across Round 2 employed, maybe it's a mortal thing that such details are considered low priority. Or maybe that's the reason these were 'previously unknown' groups...
Anyway, wishing you well for the future.

Ask A RPGSupersuccubus.

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Congratulations Mike. Just for the record, DctD didn't strike me as Expedition to the Barrier Peaks at all. Not that I wanted it to...just saying.
I found the premise very cartoon-esque which I enjoyed, and the whole pitch very creative and innovative. I looked beyond any mechanical/minor plot shortcomings as being well within the constraints of the pitch, and none felt insurmountable. Pitch is one thing, final is another...
Having said all that...I voted for The Scarlet God. Was a hard choice though...

[Bellona]

Congratulations, Mike!

I'm really looking forward to this module, particularly as it's the first RPG Supserstar one whose premise has really grabbed my interest.

[RonarsCorruption]

Congratulations to this year's superstar!

[Dawn R Fischer]

Congratulations Mike!

[Sean McGowan]

Wow, this is literally the first time I've ever voted for an adventure proposal that won! You broke the curse! Congrats, Mike!

[James Conder]

Goat Bombs! Any adventure involving Goat Bombs deserves victory!