The gag item thread


RPG Superstar™ 2012 General Discussion


Another tradition that greatly helps to reduce the anexity that build while waitng for the big reveal.

Show me what you got, give me all your funny, lauch-my-donkey-off, definitely less than serious, but definitly wondrous ( or heck even Wonderous) items.

Double Rainbow

This composite Longbow +1 is crafted from a multitude of different woods and strung with 2 different bowstrings.
Arrows fired from the strings, also duped the String of the Cloud and String of the sun respectively are imbued with different abilities depending on the string.

String of the cloud: Any creature hit by an arrow fired with the string of the cloud must succeed on a DC 13 Will save or a small cloud appears above its head, showering it with heavy rain ( see weather effects) for 1d4 minutes. if the Attack was a critical hit the DC increases by 2 and the creature suffers an additional 1d6 of cold damage.

String of the sun: Any Arrow fired form the String of the sun resembles a fiery sunray, dealing fire damage instead of weapon damage. If the attack is a critical hit, the creature suffers an additional 1d6 fire damage and is illuminated as dancing lights

combined effect: Any creature under the effects of the String of the cloud that is hit by an arrow fired from the string of the sun mus succeed on a Dc 13 Will save or be dazed for 1 round. If one of the attacks was a critical hit it must make a DC 15 Will save instead or targeted by a Rainbow pattern instead. If both attacks were a critical hit it is targeted by a prismatic spray (DC 17)instead and the double rainbow breaks in half.

ok, that was a long & complicated one. I
ll come up with something shorter and funnier soon :)

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What does it mean?

Dark Archive

Golden Needle of Unavoidable Reaction
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot — ; Price 1,050 gp; Weight
Description
This ornated needle has a sharp point that gives off its painful nature.
With a touch attack, it can be used to prick through the armor of a sleeping character (or up to six friends as a full-round action), who will be subject to a rude awakening, taking 1 point of damage but awakening instantly.
Also as a touch attack, it can be used to prick a prone character in order to force him to stand up as a swift action, taking 1 point of damage and provoking attacks of opportunity.
Any use of the Golden Needle of Unavoidable Reaction carries a cumulative -1 miff penalty to every kind of social interaction with the subject of its use, even if the use actually helped the victim. The miff penalties keep going on through the rest of the day.
Construction
Requirements Create Wondrous Items, inflict light wounds, jump, creator must have 5 ranks in the Heal skill; Cost 2,100 gp

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Ok, here's an obvious gag item we would all like to own :P

Competition Quill
Aura strong conjuration; CL 19th
Slot - Price 120,000 gp; Weight -
Description
A roc's tail feather cut to take on ink for use as a writing implement.

Completion of any written competition is a snap with this quill.

You can never make a spelling mistake nor fail to follow any formatting or submission requirements specified by the arbitrators of the competition.

It prevents duplication of entries, poor prose and grammar and will only allow truly creative entries to place ink upon paper.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, Wish; Cost 50,000 gp

Grand Lodge

Anthony Adam wrote:


Competition Quill

A roc's tail feather cut to take on ink for use as a writing implement.

And I guess it'll only work if you're using golden dragon tears as ink :-)

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Can someone find a link to Boomer's old monkey pants item? I can't seem to find it. I think it might have been called pants of the many monkeys.

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Clark Peterson wrote:
Can someone find a link to Boomer's old monkey pants item? I can't seem to find it. I think it might have been called pants of the many monkeys.

At your service.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

I used this item as an example the other day in the judge's chambers.

Someone submitted an item having to do with both pants and monkeys and I referenced Boomer's item:

Pants of the Many Monkeys

This simple pair of khaki adventuring pants contains, hidden in its many goody-sized pockets, monkeys. Many, many monkeys.

Each day, upon command ("Monkeys!") the pants produce 3d12 monkeys (see page 267, MM). These monkeys are CRAZY monkeys, however, and no amount of training, yelling or stomping of feet will get these monkeys to stop it with their crazy monkey shenanigans. The monkeys are possessed both a limited magical 'hive-mind' and an overwhelming, capricious desire to perform acts of mischief and tomfoolery.

The monkeys will probably eat all the rations and poop in the bedrolls. They will pants the cleric and 'honk' the elf's boobs. Also, they like to trip people, drink ale, and steal hats. The monkeys speak French.

Moderate Conjuration; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, Summon Nature's Ally III, Prestidigitation; Price 8,000 gp., 2 lbs.

Boomer is so talented. Even in this quick one-off gag item Boomer has more mojo than most submitted entries. As with most things Boomer, it's R rated on a good day and totally not PC, but I think those are both things he would be proud of.

Bottom line: those pants are an excellent example of what we are looking for--something creative and interesting. Of course, the pants are a gag and they wouldnt advance. But that is inspired stuff.

Unfortunately for the person who submitted pants with monkeys, he or she did not compare favorably to Boomer's item.


Clark Peterson wrote:
The monkeys speak French.

Of course they do. All monkeys are French. [/Buffy nod]

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