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Chalice of Eternal Fire
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 10th
Slot -; Price 50,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This chalice is crafted of solid gold with tiny inset rubies, forged into a rising whirlwind of flames. From within the chalice leaps a flickering bowl of flames. When held the chalice grants the wielder +1 to their caster level for any spell with the fire descriptor. The chalice has three charges each day, restored at dawn.
Using the chalice as a material focus for conjuration (calling or summoning) spell with the fire descriptor costs one charge. A calling spell increases the maximum hit dice that can be called by 2. Summoning spells grant the advanced simple template to a summoned monster with the fire subtype.
Additionally the wielder of the chalice may call on the power of the plane of fire, as a standard action that costs one charge. The chalice erupts with torrents of flame from the plane of fire, spraying it into the sky and raining down all around the wielder, but leaving them unharmed. All creatures within 30 feet of the chalice except for the wielder take 8d6 fire damage (Reflex DC 16 half).
Last, the wielder may drink the flames from the goblet, transforming their blood into flames and granting resistance to cold and fire, as well as lashing out at those who harm them. For 10 minutes the character gains energy resistance 15 to cold and fire, and any creature that damages the character with a non-reach melee attack takes 1d6 fire damage. Using this ability consumes 1 charge.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fireball, lesser planar binding or lesser planar ally, resist energy; Cost 25,000 gp
Hmmm. Kind of a SAK of mostly SIAC effects, only they never really referenced the spells. They just went with straight description. But, if you strip away that flavor, you're looking at an augmentation item for all your summoning and conjuration spells that grant you a fiery ally...an area effect 8d6 flame strike or selective fireball...and then a resist energy (cold) and resist energy (fire) along with an elemental aura (fire) effect. That's a lot of fiery cheese to throw into one 50,000 gp chalice. Also, by the time you can afford this item, that DC 16 Reflex save for the torrents of flame from the plane of fire is going to be pretty easy to make for most creatures which PCs of that level would be facing.
This item feels more like it's trying to flirt with artifact territory to me. References to pulling fire directly from the plane of fire only reinforce that. And I think it goes way overboard in the multitude of powers and spell effects it's granting in a single package. That said, the designer did a great job following the wondrous item template. They presented the mechanics of the item fairly well. I think their item concept and idea overreached a bit too far. So...
Vote to Reject.
This submission flirts dangerously close to the line of being an artifact. I also worry about applying templates to things - it's one of those parts of the game system that causes GMs a lot of extra paperwork and headaches, but at least it's a standardized system.
The number of effects, the power of those effects and how they all work together would suggest that this item is under-priced (even if the designer followed the costing rules as written). That's a worry for any GM that lets this into their game; the price is so low that a lot of characters are going to angle to get one.
The strength of this design does outweigh these concerns and I'm not about to ding someone for following the rules as written even if the result is a bit wonky.
I recommend that you vote for this designer.
Eek, it's a SIAK with a "my theme is fire" theme. Yes, that's redundant.
I don't really see how these are thematically tied other than "fire fire fire!"
Reject.
I like it, keep. Yes, Beavis would love this item (Fire! Fire! Fire!) but it works.
I quickly thought HP and the Goblet of Fire, too; but this is not that.
Keep.
Ha! We run the gamut on this one. We've got one Keep, one Weak Keep, one Weak Reject, and one Reject.
2 keeps are enough to get it in the keep folder for now (or at least out of the pending folder). It likely won't go into the top group, but it should hang around to get a chance.
What I like: This is a well-presented item, both in terms of writing and formatting. Considering the cost, I don't think any of the powers it has are too overwhelming, so it feels like a good fit for the levels you'd own it at. I also appreciate the fact that the three different effects are basically from three different schools of magic, (conjuration, evocation, & abjuration) so there's a little something in it for all casters regardless of their personal magic style.
What I love:
While I'm not overwhelmed by the powers of the chalice as a whole (see below) I do think you did a good job of sticking to a tight theme here. Yes, 'fire' may not be the most complex of themes, but all the chalice's effects fall well in line with what I'd want to see from a fire-themed item, regardless. I do especially love the conjuration boosting effect; in fact, I think you could have gone further into that and dumped some of the rest.
What needs a little sumptin' sumptin'...
Well, for starters the item name made me think of Harry Potter. Which, I'll admit, is probably my fault and not yours. :-)
Overall, this is a fire-themed swiss army knife. While, as always, being a SAK isn't necessarily a bad thing, in this case I'm just not as blown away by the various blades of the knife as I'd like to be. I feel like the coolest part of the item is the summoning boost; the fireball and fire resistance effects are just gravy. But gravy on something that doesn't need it, like gravy on ice cream or something. I think you could have built more around the summoning effect and had a equally thematic but ultimately more interesting (to me) item.
As a side note, I think fire shield should be part of the requirements if the third effect damages anyone who attacks you.
All in all...
This isn't bad, at all, please don't get me wrong. SAK items can be difficult to make feel innovative, and I think you basically managed to get past the standard 'three different spells, twice per day each' format that such items tend to fall into. I appreciate that you found three different effects that aren't just pure spell effects, but rather are unique to the item. I just feel like this might have been stronger if one of those effects had been 'core' to the item and the others sidelined or dropped. But that's just me; clearly the judges felt strongly enough about this item and/or you as a designer to bring you into the show. So, congratulations and welcome to RPG Superstar!
Welcome to the Top 32!
You've given us a fire-themed Swiss army knife. This SAK includes a continual boost to fire spells and charge-based boosts to calling/summoning fiery friends, 8d6 fireballs, and a fiery shield that damages opponents and grants the user resistance to fire and cold. It seems like a lot for 50K. As Sean M mentioned, I think that you should have focused on a core power. It would have provided item more focus and possibly helped with the pricing.
Neil commented that you effectively split the judges and I wouldn't be surprised if we see a similar split amongst the voters. There's definitely a place for big and flashy items in the game and I bet that there are number of players that would part with 50K for a chalice of eternal fire. I think it might be fun watching you in round 2. Good luck.
Any two of these abilities together would have made for a great item (the summoning template being the most unique and creative of the abilities), but together it's just too much. With that many abilities, a magic item becomes hard to parse and hard to think about. You definitely seem to know what you're doing in terms of creating a theme and filling it out, as well as working with the wondrous item mechanics. You just need to rein in your instinct to go over the top.
Welcome to the Top 32, Benjamin!
Oh god, the player running a cleric (theologian, fire domain) of Saranrae in my Kingmaker campaign would love this item (and with his low intelligence, he is a bit Beavis and Butthead when it comes to fire...). Congrats on making the Top 32.
Welcome, Benjamin.
Love the visuals with your chalice, especially spraying the gout of flames into the air.
Good luck to you!
You just need to rein in your instinct to go over the top.
Yes, yes I do. And I know it. >_<
Anyway...thank you, everyone, and I will do my best in the future.
Holy moly! And Benjamin ninjas his way into the fray. Nice job!
Welcome, Benjamin. Glad you made it in. Can't wait to see what you bring to the table for round 2.
I like this item despite myself. Its effects are basically spell effects, it has a rather vanilla fire theme and its flavor is minimal. The idea of a chalice full of magical fire just works for me, though. The effects, while not novel in themselves, are well-chosen. I can see this item being very useful to a fire-themed caster, but the fact that it uses charges and has multiple abilities means that non-casters aren't paying for a lot of power than they can't use. Drinking the fire to gain resistances is cool, and I rather like the fact that the user gets both fire and cold resistance, further increasing the item's utility without overpowering the effect.
For both pricing and focus, I think you could have dropped a power to pump up the others a bit. The rain of fire ability has cool flavor, but its damage and save DC are rather low. Going forward, you should spend more time looking at benchmarks from other rules content to make sure that you're hitting level-appropriate numbers. That's much more important than any formula. You can and should cook the numbers to bring them around to the total you're looking for.
Congratulations on making it into the competition!
I thought the writing on this one was really weak and confusing. Could definitely use a rewrite. I do like the idea of "drinking" the flames from the goblet but I got lost in the wording after that (again).
Congratulations on making alternates and now, probably more amazingly, getting into the top 32. I hope you had a really good organization ready anywway! Good luck with it.
A few thoughts for you:
The Name: You could have done better and more creatively here, but it serves, and that's the most important if you ask me.
The Template: Looks fine.
The Description: You'll probably be wanting to work on some things here. You spend a lot of words on different and largely wasted phrasings. If you don't do this already, having someone else read your things (even a non-gamer) to chack formulations is often a good idea. What seems the best way to say something and perfectly clear, can often be so only because you know what it's supposed to say.
The Effect: I agree with most others, you need to limit yourself. You flirts with artifact like powers, and you're not far from a SAK of things that are largely SiaCs.
Generally, I'd say there's a lot of things that needs work, but you've got a nice idea and that counts for a lot!
Good luck!
Congratulations Benjamin,
Only the second alternate in 4 years to make it in! I love the concept of summoning fire/bonus to creatures and the spout of flame was a very strong visual. Focus on your mechanics in future rounds. Nice job and good luck! :)
...The idea of a chalice full of magical fire just works for me, though...
Me too! The whole thing is very evocative. It has a real old-school feel to it and old school is so hot right now.
I agree with others that the summoning aspect is the most interesting mechanic but I can see why you wanted to get the other abilities in there to show off all that flavour.
Congrats on sneaking into the top 32. It's great to have you on board!
I'll be perfectly honest...the original idea was entirely based around the summoning boost. The CL boost came second (I was thinking of it as similar to a nifty cross between a fire-version of a decanter of endless water and a brazier of summoning), and then the fire shield effect. The fire blast came last, both because I liked the visual and, for good or for ill, because I have a thing for threes. Three charges, three powers.
If I had to go back and look at it again, I'd probably ditch the fire blast and tweak the fire shield/resistances effect (I was using fire shield mentally to justify the cold resistance, which is why I'm very annoyed I forgot to put it into the spell requirements, grr.)
On the other hand, looking at the item again, I'd rather split it into two items entirely. One as a cloak with the fire shield effect and the ability to turn into a brief whirlwind of flame, and the other as the chalice which boosts fire spells/summoning.
And, by the by, I saw the connection between HP and my item too, after I made it. Part of the reason I will never refer to it as a goblet, and was hoping that how different it was would help differentiate between the two.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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Congratulations, Benjamin!
This is a strongly themed item. It might do a little too much, but I have no room to criticize on that front. :)
I'm glad you made it in to the top 32, and I can't wait to see what your organization is like.
Hey Benjamin, you've already talked about how you'd deal with some of the criticisms in your rewrite (rewrites?), which seem like they'd be a bit more up my alley. That said, I like a lot of your imagery -- I think part of the resemblance to Harry Potter is due in part to your vivid writing, with the bowl of flames leaping up from the chalice.
Ant Health Warning: this year, I really worked hard on technical execution of my item, so these reviews will likely reflect template use. Brace yourselves for the template fu - it can sting.
Template Use: 10/10
template fu pats you on the head...
Slot affinity: 7/10
There is no slot as such, so I will give a general assessment score here so it balances with other reviews.
The first thing that hit me was granting resistance to cold and fire. Quite a few fire based creatures are vulnerable to cold attacks, so the change of your blood into fire didnt quite sit right with me in granting cold resistance.
The other thing I think was missing was what happens if I get knocked prone or disarmed such that the Chalice falls to the floor, does it go out, do flames spill and spread wildly - I'm guessing the latter as the flames are drinkable?
Abuseability: 9/10
I couldnt find much to abuse here, except maybe having more than one in the party fighthing dragon kin and undead with fear auras.
Desirability: 8/10
As a portable explosion that could be triggered 3 times a day, my players would wreck so many things.
Originality: 8/10
Like Clark, I also envisioned the Goblet of Fire flaring up with firey bursts, it may not be the inspiration but it did spring to mind of a person who ows all the dvds and has kids who are Potter mad. So you flirted with the skirts of one of Seans auto rejects but I think managed to make it different enough and mojo enough to bypass that.
Ant Score: 42/50 (84%)
The bonus to caster-level for fire spells and the augmented summoning are my favorite parts of this item. Your description is very elegant too, though I have mixed feelings about the gold/ruby theme being exactly what I first thought of when I read the name. A few of my characters are pyro enough to want this, but honestly I think it would be a few of my more dedicated summoners who found the most use for it.
Congrats Ben! Just reading through all the entries and organizations today and I'm quite enjoying them.
I was curious. I saw you were from Logan, I think I may know you actually. I lived in Logan for a number of years and used to game with a Ben up there.
Kudos on making the top 32 and good luck. I'll be following your work closely.
Chalice of Eternal Fire
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 10th
Slot -; Price 50,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This chalice is crafted of solid gold with tiny inset rubies, forged into a rising whirlwind of flames. From within the chalice leaps a flickering bowl of flames. When held the chalice grants the wielder +1 to their caster level for any spell with the fire descriptor. The chalice has three charges each day, restored at dawn.
Using the chalice as a material focus for conjuration (calling or summoning) spell with the fire descriptor costs one charge. A calling spell increases the maximum hit dice that can be called by 2. Summoning spells grant the advanced simple template to a summoned monster with the fire subtype.
Additionally the wielder of the chalice may call on the power of the plane of fire, as a standard action that costs one charge. The chalice erupts with torrents of flame from the plane of fire, spraying it into the sky and raining down all around the wielder, but leaving them unharmed. All creatures within 30 feet of the chalice except for the wielder take 8d6 fire damage (Reflex DC 16 half).
Last, the wielder may drink the flames from the goblet, transforming their blood into flames and granting resistance to cold and fire, as well as lashing out at those who harm them. For 10 minutes the character gains energy resistance 15 to cold and fire, and any creature that damages the character with a non-reach melee attack takes 1d6 fire damage. Using this ability consumes 1 charge.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fireball, lesser planar binding or lesser planar ally, resist energy; Cost 25,000 gp
Disclaimer:
Note:
Fair is foul and foul is fair supposedly . Basically, though, does this item have any useful application in a spa?
Nothing described about the item strikes me as making it likely to be useful in a regular spa environment.
Assuming for a moment that it’s more convenient to pay taxes than to circumvent the system, does this item look likely to be a tax-deductible business expense for a succubus art-dealer?
Setting fire to a shop full of merchandise is generally frowned upon by most tax-collecting bodies, and this item basically helps a succubus art-dealer to, ummm, basically do just that. This item is not a tax deductible business expense for a succubus art-dealer.
Is the item useful in a strawberries-and-cream-tea context?
Okay, I have to admit it is a nice bit of metalwork, and could go well with a very posh (although unsubtle) picnic set...
Other Comments?
No, no, no, no, no! This is yet another of those items which helps those thrice-blasted summoners (and let me make it quite clear that 'thrice-blasted' is at least the minimum level from which blasting of such wretches should commence) to bother poor innocent outer-planar beings and drag them into their stupid fights.
About all I can say is that most succubi do not possess the inherent [fire] nature which would result in this item lending summoners and their ilk increased power over them, but that doesn't mean that I approve of such items...
Gollum Rating:
Congrats Ben! Just reading through all the entries and organizations today and I'm quite enjoying them.
I was curious. I saw you were from Logan, I think I may know you actually. I lived in Logan for a number of years and used to game with a Ben up there.
Kudos on making the top 32 and good luck. I'll be following your work closely.
Entirely possible...I did GM a number of games at Cache Game & Hobby, as it was called at the time, before running most of my games at home. I admit to being curious if I did game with you now...
But mostly I'm keeping my mouth bloody shut so that I don't incidentally upset the judges.
Congrats Ben! Just reading through all the entries and organizations today and I'm quite enjoying them.
I was curious. I saw you were from Logan, I think I may know you actually. I lived in Logan for a number of years and used to game with a Ben up there.
Kudos on making the top 32 and good luck. I'll be following your work closely.
Entirely possible...I did GM a number of games at Cache Game & Hobby, as it was called at the time, before running most of my games at home. I admit to being curious if I did game with you now...
But mostly I'm keeping my mouth bloody shut so that I don't incidentally upset the judges.
I'll shoot you a message on here. I see they allow for private messages now.