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Let's all discuss the worst behavior we've seen from players and the dumbest discussions we've ever had to have with them. I'll begin.
The sorcerer shalt not drop area of effect attack spells where the barbarian is standing.
There shall be no yelling at the GM.
There shall be no overruling the GM.
You may not create a human character, play through a few levels, then suddenly say, in the middle of a battle, that you are actually a great wyrm gold dragon masquerading as a human and that you wish to assume your dragon form now.
For the millionth time, although I very much like the Power Word: Orgasm spell from Encyclopedia Arcane, I am not allowing it in this campaign.
...I said I am not allowing it.
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LMAO.
Yes, you have found a witch. No, you may not burn her.
Tho shalt not attempt too remake thine character everytime thine are "bored" or realise the GM found a counter too it.
("WAIT when did you start taking stuff from the psionics books? OH G~# D@~N IT")
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The sorcerer shall not fire a lightning bolt in the direction of the fighter while in deeper darkness.
The fighter shall not leave the gremlins he was fighting and beat in the sorcerer for hitting him with a lightning bolt
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Just because you fit it in your pack does not mean that the merchants are obligated to buy it from you.
The player shall not be required to suffer through the GM's arbitrary rulings (usually due to their delusional thoughts on balance) such that it ruins or severely dampens the aspects of the character that the player found fun.
The adult player shall not throw an honest-to-god temper tantrum because the NPC said something "...just like my Dad would!"
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The player shall not cite their relationship with the DM as a valid reason for getting a magical goodies, new powers, or a 'do over'.
"At this table, you aren't my fiancee, sorry."
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There will be no more throwing of books at the barbarian's head.
The adult player shall not throw an honest-to-god temper tantrum because the NPC said something "...just like my Dad would!"
The Adult player shall not throw an honest-to-god temper tantrum....ever.
Thou shalt not b**ch about not getting 10,000gp for starting gold when that's the total wealth of the entire party combined.
Thou shalt not get upset when the party doesn't check the farmer's attic door for traps before opening it.
Thou shalt not throw thy weight around like the big man on campus and then rage-quit when the barbarian takes issue with this.
Similarly, thou shalt not brandish silver in the face of the lycanthropic PC and expect him to not rip your thoat out.
Thou shalt not ask for inane unimportant details about the location. (How many blades of grass are there in this field?)
Thou shalt not leave the house the party's investigating and set it on fire because you're upset at not getting to open a door.
Thou shalt not build an archery Ranger, fail to take Precise Shot in favor of Two-Weapon Fighting and then complain about being useless at range.
Thou shalt not expect another player to change their character just because you told them to.
Thou shalt not expect the party to act a certain way just because you told them to.
Disgustingly, this is all one player.
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Not a rule so much as an advisory notice:
Calling the DM a 'rat bastard' will not, in fact, alter the composition of the encounter... but it might make the DM smile a bit more.
A gravy train of poor behavior...
Wow. You win.
But that's what you get for playing with 6 year olds. ;)| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Wow. You win.
But that's what you get for playing with 6 year olds. ;)
I once had the cops called on a game because a rules argument got too loud, and somebody got punched right before they showed up.
Wow. You win.
But that's what you get for playing with 6 year olds. ;)
Ready for more disgust? The person in question is in his upper 30's.
The players shall not use the same name for each of their character.
The players shall not use their own name as character names.
The players shall not roll 17 six times in a row when we are playing d20.
Thou shalt not start a rules arguement with the GM when you have only read the 1st sentence or paragraph of the relvelant rules.
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Thou shalt not stuff a four-foot-tall, solid gold statue into a regular backpack and expect your gnome wizard to carry it on his back over a pit while clinging upside down on a rope. Because as your own girlfriend did sayeth: "Because it's bigger than you are, honey!"
Thou shalt not combine thy XP with thy gold, then try to convince the GM that you have more wealth than has been dealt out to the entire party over the course of the whole campaign.
Thou shalt not suddenly have spells upon thy memorized list, that were not there this morning.
Okay, that takes care of one guy. Now onto the King:
Thou shalt not use thy male dwarf to slap the behinds of the PCs belonging to the female players. Thou also canst not slap the behinds of the female characters played by male players.
Thou shalt not jump on the Duke's lap and slap him across the face just to "see what the GM will do about it."
Thou shalt also not engage in endless activities aimed at trying to "dare the GM to kill [thine] character," again, because [thou] is hoping to "provest he hasn't got the guts."
Thou shalt not endanger the entire party by darting through every open door and jumping through every window, or by picking a fight with every NPC thou comest across.
Thou shalt not play pranks on the other party members, steal from them, steal their kills hoping for "extra XP," nor make up silly names for them, and then get pissed when they do the same. Specifically, thou shalt not use thy character to try to kill another PC over a small prank.
Thou shalt not tell the GM to "butt out" of his own campaign world.
Thou shalt not shout at the GM's wife in her own home.
Thou shalt not send phony emails to the other players, confusing the day and time of the game.
Thou shalt not take the GM's wife's words out of context to try to "prove the GM incompetent" or "irrelevant."
Thou shalt not fart so much at every single session.
Thou shall abide by the rules of the game and not stop to shout about it every time the GM asks that you roll dice as the other players must.
Thou shalt not tell the GM to his face that his own fun (or happiness) "doesn't matter."
Thou shalt not try to convince a party engaged in story and actively working on a mission, to "just quit this storyline and wander down the road to see what might be there." You may excuse yourself if you are bored, but please do not "conduct polls" at the table in an effort to dissuade interest.
Shall I go on? He had many more.
Ready for more disgust? The person in question is in his upper 30's.
Sadly, I was kind of betting in my head that the player in questions was in his 30's.
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Thou shalt not jump on the Duke's lap and slap him across the face just to "see what the GM will do about it."
After that act of lunacy, thy dwarf PC shall be a permanent greasy spot on the throne-room floor and thy player shall be standing on the sidewalk.
The player shall not vehemently argue that his character can identify the 'back' of an ooze and therefore should be able to backstab the Gelatinous Cube because it is 'facing away' from him.
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This thread has been a long time coming.
FOR PLAYERS:
Thou shall not snatch up dice rolls before thine eyes can confirm.
Thou shall not pout when a fellow player creates a character of the same class or race.
Thou shall not remove thy pants for ANY reason whilst in the presence of your fellow players and/or GM.
Nor will one expose themselves in any fashion whilst still wearing pants.
Thou shall not distract fellow players with discussion of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any other unrelated topic while in the middle of a gaming session.
Thou shall respect any (legitimate) disabilities possessed by your fellow players.
Thou shall not tear up your character sheet when your character perishes. The others want to know thy loot.
Thou shall not play pokemon, or other handheld game, whilst still in the middle of a session.
FOR GMs (Because they can be crazy too):
Thou shall not make spontaneous house rules mid-game without first consulting the rest of the group.
Thou shall make house rules to make the game more fun for your group, and for no other reason.
No argument, RD. I'm equally critical of whacked out DMs as much as whacked out players.
This thread has made me realise how lucky I am. My current players (on this board and in real life) have been great. None of my examples are from the recent past. So to my players, I say "Thanks and the XP are on me" for your continued mature and reasoned playing.
Shall I go on? He had many more.
Yes, please, it rises my spirit to know how well behaved players I have.
There shall be no overruling the GM.
Depends on if the GM actually RTFM or made and ad-hoc ruling without considering what (the at times convoluted) rules actually say.
The stupidity is not magically removed when sitting behind the screen.
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Depends on if the GM actually RTFM or made and ad-hoc ruling without considering what (the at times convoluted) rules actually say.
The stupidity is not magically removed when sitting behind the screen.
I told them they could not use something I hadn't read yet and that a monk/sorcerer/arcane archer cannot use flurry of blows and imbue arrows at the same time to cast a whole bunch of spells in one round while only spending one spell slot. They overruled me and did it anyway.
I told them they could not use something I hadn't read yet and that a monk/sorcerer/arcane archer cannot use flurry of blows and imbue arrows at the same time to cast a whole bunch of spells in one round while only spending one spell slot. They overruled me and did it anyway.
Wasn't speaking about you directly.
You shall not throw dice at other players.
I am glad this has not happened yet but I would not allow it. you cannot larp treating a character for hypothermia.
There's one in particular which stood out for me in my new group...
"After the DM hath spoken, thou shalt not re-hash what he just said, but slower and more obviously, making every description tediously long."
We should really narrow these down to something like The 10 Gaming Commandments or such...
Thou shall not take my last two-bites brownie.
I mean, c'mon...
Yes, please, it rises my spirit to know how well behaved players I have.
Okay!
As with Nakteo's bad fellow, everything beneath the three top crimes in my last post were all from the same guy. And sadly, he, too, was in his thirties for many of these antics. (Though some were from his mid-to-late twenties, as well.)
So where do I pick up?
I guess I'll start with Thou shalt not hold the d20 over the table, turned to a specific number, then drop it from an inch or so up, hoping it will land on, and stay on, that number.
Thou shalt not contribute the least to, then eat the most of, the group pizza.
Thou shalt not invite thy brother to the game, then start a fight with him, then sit silently refusing to speak to anybody until he admits you are "right."
Thou shalt not begin discussions about the various sexual orientations of the individual players sitting around the table, just as the Big Boss Fight has begun.
Thou shalt not decide it is your turn to GM, then force a player to listen to an hour of your lecturing them on how "evil" their characters is, and by extension what a "bad person" the player is for playing the character, every time they make a mistake. Neither shall thou remind said player and all of his friends of the mistake, and thus, his "wickedness," every chance you get for the next six years.
Thou shalt not describe any unexpected rule change between editions as "another change from your precious X Edition" with clear spite in your voice, just because you haven't bothered to read a rulebook since 1996.
Believe it or not, he has more. Some ask why I kept the King of All Disruptive Players in my game for so long. The truth is we were good friends in high school, and have known each other since Jr. High. The badness I describe came about while he was going through a very rough decade. Uh... and-a-half. One of my defining attributes is that I am forgiving, and to be fair, I was not always easy to get along with, either. The good news is we get along swimmingly today. He's one of my best friends, and my little boy adores him.
Nowadays when we play, I throw him enough silliness and mischief to keep him happy, and he compromises by sticking to things and limiting bad behavior to the obvious bones I throw him. So... all is well now. Who'd've thought?
The players shall absolutely not, under any circumstances, you hear me? Say things like:
"Hmm, the thieves' guild has kidnapped our friend. Well, here we are outside their headquarters, so let's see, we've barricaded the exits. Let's just fireball the entire building and kill all who flee, then we can just raise our friend when we search it through afterward."
Ah, Lawful Good... the fun alignment.
We had a few that we actually wrote down. We tried to get ten but only ended up with six at the time. I don't have it with me now, but I remember a few of them.
"Thou shalt not raise craven arguments before the DM."
Basically, bring a rule, or clarify it, but once the DM makes the "at the table" call, save all arguments about it until outside of the game.
"Thou shalt not indulge in excessive Role-playing."
This is a slippery slope, but it's more along the lines of not needing to "Role-Play" playing darts at the Inn with no one in particular for no other reason than to have something to do. Especially, when the reason you have nothing to do is because half the group decided to go talk to an important NPC and you chose not to join them. Or "Role-Playing" setting up or tearing down camp each time, just to prove how hardcore of a "Role-Player" you are.
"Thou shalt respect another player's turn."
When someone else is taking their turn, please try to avoid being disruptive. It will get to your turn, you will have your chance to go, and the more you talk now the longer it will take to get to you.
"Know thy character as you know thyself."
Prepare for your next turn, right after your previous turn. There's is nothing more painful than watching someone wait until it is their turn, to start even looking at their sheet, or reading their spell descriptions.
"Thou shalt not hit on another player's spouse."
This only happened one time, and the DM didn't notice the new female player hitting on his wife, and making her real uncomfortable, but everyone else at the table did.
I'm back!!!!!!! Time for more stuff about my 'bad fellow' as was so wonderfully put by Bruunwald. This time, about DM'ing.
Thou shalt not make spellcasters pointless. Specifically, thou shalt not have a player read the spell to you, then read the spell yourself, then have someone explain it to you, then spend 10 minutes more making four creatures roll saves. Every. Single. Time. Someone. Casts. A spell. And then give 90% of everything Spell Resistance.
Thou shalt not give the party 1.8 million gp worth of items at 14th level and then complain that the party's too powerful.
Thou shalt figure out some semblance of the power level of the party and thus learn how to make an encounter that lasts more than two rounds.
Thou shalt not run a boss fight that takes 4 hours to play 2 rounds, only to arbitrarily nuke all the baddies with god-fire. (Before the boss was defeated.)
Thou shalt not stonewall a player when they want to roleplay something important to the worldly development of their character.
Thou shalt not arbitrarily beef all monsters to have stats rivaling that of the party's primary tank in hopes of making a challenge.
Thou shalt not state 'you can buy anything up to a +3' regarding all things that allow bonuses, from armor, to weapons, to saves, to deflection (Cause you know, they're all equal in all things, donchaknow?)
Thou shalt not shovel thy story down the party's throats every other session by having NPC's spend 2+ hours of game time (just a reminder, every other session) spewing prattle.
Thou shalt not take the party not wanting to listen to, and thus walking away from, an invulnerable villain spewing prattle as a personal affront to you, your game, and your story.
Thou shalt not take away the individuality/uniqueness of any player's character with an NPC.
Similarly, thou shalt not make an NPC specifically to outshine a PC.
Thou shalt not make a character whose claim to being powerful is that he is 'so psionic.'
Thou shalt not build a campaign around assuming the party will make illogical choices.
Thou shalt not make an NPC to run with the party that ignores all rules of balance and is basically an unstoppable walking tank of death.
Thou shalt also not make the primary NPC to help the party a beholder god of I-Can-Do-Whatever-I-Want.
Thou shalt not make a game where the only alignments are Lawful Good, and maybe Neutral Good.
Thou shalt not hand a Faerunian party items of a greater-than-Greater-God power level to avert the apocalypse. (The Faerun gods wouldn't stand for this, they'd take them away and do it themselves.)
Okay, now I'm getting a bit too specific, so I think I'll stop at 17 items. Again, this is all the same person from before.
Thou shall not write down an alignment on the DM's copy of your character sheet. Make him Guess.
Thou shall not spend hours calculating in-game travel time.
Thou shall not spend hours in front of a door discussing tactics, and then bash said door down, and expect to sneak through without anything noticing.
Thou shalt NOT barrage the new person with "advice" that makes it extremely difficult for them to learn to make their own decisions and play their character as they see fit. (Something I have to ram into my own skull sometimes.)
Thou shalt not speak all at once to the GM.
Thou shalt not b#~+& and whine to the GM thou canst not make a character thou wantest because the GM is not allowing x book.
Thou shalt not ask to play a spellcaster and then never learn thy spell list.
Thou shalt not argue thy weak, city born gnome wizard should be able to catch a squirrel with his bare hands without making some kind of skill check, let alone claim that the reason is because "I can do that myself," but fail to deliver when the GM asks thee to show her.
Thou shalt not ever come between the GM and chocolate.
Thou shalt not use hookers as fishing nets.
Thou shalt not assault party members
Thou shalt use Channel when two party members are at negative HP.
Thou shalt who Desna is when you make a Cleric of Desna.
Thou shalt not try to invent firearms. Especially with only one rank in Knowledge(engineering).
Thou shalt not use your cell phone at the table.
Thou shalt not use your cell phone at the table to look up the stats of monsters we are fighting.
Thou shalt not hit on the female players.
Thou shalt not use hookers as fishing nets.
Thou shalt not assault party members
Thou shalt use Channel when two party members are at negative HP.
Thou shalt who Desna is when you make a Cleric of Desna.
Thou shalt not try to invent firearms. Especially with only one rank in Knowledge(engineering).
Thou shalt not use your cell phone at the table.
Thou shalt not use your cell phone at the table to look up the stats of monsters we are fighting.
Thou shalt not hit on the female players.
I have a spellbook app and an app that runs my summoned monsters, so no cell at the table would be a dealbreaker for me. Just Sayin'.
Looking up the stats of the enemies is a definite no-no, though.
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Thou shalt not hit on the female players.
This. Oh so much this. I've had this player who hit on every single girl that came to play in my group. And, several left because of him. in the end, i ended up booting him from the group. One of my better decisions.
Thou shalt not continue to argue a rule that the GM hath already ruled on, even if the interpretation isn't to thine liking.
Thou shalt not whine about "lack of roleplay", when the GM has clearly said that he willst runeth a dungeon crawl.
Thou shalt also not whine when thine suobtimal sorcerer is not good at fighting, in a dungeon crawl.
Thou shalt not attempt a maneuver six times in a row, because of sheer stubborness.