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So, I've been telling friends what happened the first time I've ever table top rpg-ed this past weekend, and most of them respond with blank faces... which I assume is how I looked this past weekend.
Our group is running Serpent's Shiv (I believe it is called though am not certain-- feel free to correct).
Funny/Noobish things that happened
1. My character (Ranger not accustomed to others) is about as diplomatic as a monkey flinging poo and tried talking to one of the npc's shipwrecked with our band of adventurers. He was to quote the gm "a man of oriental descent", so following a bad roll my character walked over and asked in a friendly tone "Hi Oriental man... what's your name?" at which point the npc decided he didn't like my char and refused to speak to her. The rest of the group suggested she go watch the forest, while they attempt to be diplomatic.
2. A little later the group was attacked by giant venomous centipedes, so my Ranger walked over to within range of the Centipede, it was at this point I wanted to try out one of my Ranger's other interesting traits... Intimidate... apparently the Centipede was not effected and not amused (at least not as much as the veteran players at the table)... it bit me while I stood there yelling at it.
3. I attempted to redirect some snakes which had infiltrated our camp in the middle of the second night on the island, following a few bad rolls they turned aggressive and attacked (they all missed, but due to their small size I was well within range). Earlier because "it's what Indy did" the Paladin picked up a branch set ablaze from the campfire, to scare the snakes off. While I am standing in the same tile as the snakes, at the gm's suggestion he starts whacking them. The Cleric of our party wished to help so she created rum from thin air over the serpents and doused them stating that "snakes don't like strong smells this should aid in averting them from camp". Now imagine my Character narrowly avoiding being bitten by venomous snakes, and burned by what is essentially a torch, is doused in alcohol along with the snakes, the GM said to roll, so I did... and caught on fire.
4. Luckily my group members helped put me out, and we went back to bed. However, this time we set some traps around camp, 5 total... upon waking our characters walked outside of the lean-to circle to discover-- five dead monkeys in various grotesque positions... having all somehow strangled to death in the snare's catch. The GM was amazed!
So, that is how my first time playing Pathfinder (or any rpg table top) has gone, how about you guys? Any Funny occurrences your first time?
My very first D&D game was about 27 years ago in high school. I had 0 idea what I was doing, my character had been made up by the guy who got me into D& by asking what I wanted to play and then he rolled me up and equipped me. I was a level 1 Wood Elf Fighter.
I was unceremoniously plopped into the middle of the dungeon with the rest of the party with no explanation as to how I got there or who the rest were. We were immediately attacked by 8 giant rats (which nearly killed us all) that we were barely able to defeat, I never hit a single one with my broadsword (yes I was using a broadsword in 1st edition because it was 'cool' and I did not know about the elven long sword bonus).
After that we traveled down a hallway where the thief in the party listened to the door we found, did not hear anything, unlocked the lock and we entered.
The GM then said "You enter a 10' x 10' room. In each corner is a Huge, Ancient, Red Dragon."
He was dead serious. We all died instantly as 4 - 88 point fire breath weapons hit us all. He apparently had used some random dungeon generator from the original DMG to make the dungeon.
Ah good memories. :-D
Alright, mine is still joked about to this day in our group, I made a half elf rogue, err, I think it was a rogue anyways, she was named glistening cavern in elvish, finding this out, all the other players immediately took elvish and from there on nobody would refer to her as anything except glittering clit. Be very careful what you name your characters when playing with a bunch of perverts.
First a little background- our party consists of 4 PCs and 1 DMPC from a player that had to recently drop out of the game. 2 of the players are new to Pathfinder and tabletop RPGs and 2 are old hands at it.
We are exploring this dungeon looking for a missing paladin. We entered a 50'x50' room with what turned out to be 3 green haggs. While most of us close for combat our wizard (one of the new players) stays his distance to throw spells. Now he recently aquired a new spell he has been wanting to try out...mad monkeys he called it.
The monkeys appear around two of the haggs and two of the party members (a dual rapier weilding rogue and a swordsage). On the dual weilding rogue's turn he rolls and said he missed with his primary weapon and scored a possible crit with the off hand.
DM:'You started your turn in the monkeys so they get a dissarm attempt.'
...DM rolls to beat CMD...
DM:'Looks like the monkeys dissarmed a weapon!'
...DM rolls to see which one...
DM:'Your off hand weapon is torn from your grip.'
ROGUE:' This IS NOT helping!'
WIZARD:'Sorry. New spell. Not doing quite what I thought it would.'
(sheepish grin)
-Flea
My first GM who GMed my fist two campaigns was a total a%%*@@~. He played favorites with party members, hated any kind of combat, and loved gnomes so much it was kinda creepy. Our first campaign had three party members and an animal companion die because he forgot the rules of poison. He didn't allow subsequent rolls for kicking the poison. I actually crossed out my name on my character sheet and replaced it with my character's "older brother" just because I was so pissed.
Other highlights from the first campaign include two intelligent items, a shovel and a pickax, that who controlled through math problems. I didn't solve the puzzle because I couldn't be bothered so they hated me. He also loved omnipotent intelligent objects. One, a door, trapped our fighter in an illusion of terror just because the fighter was as sick of this as I was. This culminated in the party wizard setting the fighter on fire intentionally to make him stop fighting the door. I was NE in that game and I wasn't nearly as evil as the "TN" wizard.
By the end of the campaign we had to fight a minor deity houseruled in because the GM wanted more Gnomish deities. The reward after was a boon from a greater god (Garl Glittergold, another houseruled Gnomish god.) The wizard and fighter chose to become gods themselves which they did. The next campaign was a continuation in the same world but years in the future with new characters that had the two new gods in it. I chose to become a cleric of the Fighter's character, Kholek.
Since my GM hated Kholek's player, the church was so incredibly small I was the high priest at level 7. I decided to say screw the GM anyway and built up his church with my bare hands. The GM didn't do much to stop me because he was busy screwing over Kholek's player's new character a summoner. The summoner's eidolon was basically a flying Machamp with poison claws. The GM made him discriminated against because "most people wouldn't know what an eidolon is." After a spat with a dwarven shopkeeper, the summoner desummoned his eidolon as a compromise. The Dwarf responded by banning him from the store and sending out an assistant to spread the word and get him banned from every store and tavern in the whole city. We left the campaign shortly thereafter.
The biggest n00b moment thought was from a different player in the second campaign. Three players came up with a character conceit that they're all brothers from Japan-equivalent. The eldest brother a samurai was played by a total troll. He decided that, despite knowing common, his character chose to speak only in Japanese. When we were negotiating trade as part of a peace treaty, he decided to chime in and speak common for the first time. This came when we were decided what goods should be traded. "What about the women!?" He apparently meant that in feudal Japan women brewed alcohol despite that not be true and i have no idea where he got it. To save face, he was booted out of his noble position and his younger brother played by the GM's favorite became the head of house. I hated the GM but he was right in this case.
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Stunningly enough the most memorable moment from the fight came from the sorcerer who was proficient with a falchion with a whopping strength of 16. He used every point of it to slice up the wolf and then literally punch the boss to death after he was disarmed by a lucky shot. To prove his point that he was something not to be messed with he then proceeded to grab another goblin and scorch his crotch away with a shaocking grasp before disposing of the its twitching carcass in a tidy trashbin.
This is freaking great, this is an example of proper use of badass.
The first time I "played" D&D it was original red box and we got no further than character creation. I think I made a fighter. My cousin had me convinced that dwarves could roll down hallways to trip enemies and that kobolds made good jerky.
A year or so later, the next time I "played" D&D, I brought the basic set to 7th grade and convinced three other kids to join. We rolled up a halfling, and due to time constraints I made all three of them play the same character for the remaining 30 minutes of lunch. Thats all I remember of it, aside from the fact that my rules knowledge was wretched.
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Thank the Gods the Drill Sargent never found out.
I once worked with a guy who had a D&D group in prison. They had the books, which might have been contraband that was ignored, but there are absolutely no dice allowed in prison. He made a "dice" spinner that could generate a number for any single die - d4 through d20.
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Two stories:
1. Started up a campaign with some friends who played, but never with me. One player was very new to the game, and had only really played one character before - an elven paladin.
In my game she rolled up an elven rogue and away we went. At some point in the adventure, I can't really remember what it was.. but I had something hit them with a mass fear effect.
Me: "Everyone roll a Will save please."
Player: "Not me, elves are immune to fear."
Me: "What?"
Turns out, that for the entire time she played that first game, and right up until this point in mine, she believed it was being an elf that made her immune to fear, not being a paladin.
2. More recent campaign. One player is experienced and he is playing a rogue sniper type. He has invested in the Climb skill so he can get to perches quickly and easily. Second player is a first timer, she is playing a bard with more focus on social skills.
Me: "You eventually reach the canyon wall, you can climb it, which would be faster, but going around would certainly be easier"
Player 1: "I'll climb.. shoot! I got a 9"
Player 2" "Me too! I got 17!"
Me "Ok, the bard starts making her way up while the rogue.. you're having an off day"
Player 1 "Lemme try again... dang! a 7"
Player 2 "I got an 18.. can I keep going?"
Player 1 "How are you beating me!? How many ranks do you have?"
Player 2 "I'm supposed to add my ranks to this roll?"
Player 1 "...I'm going around."
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My first campaign. D and d 3.5. Just me and a group of friends who had never played before. Session 1....
The monk elf decided to wander off when he was supposed to be on watch. Solo encounter 2 wolves. He drops one but is knocked to 1 hp. He decides to run away at top speed matching the wolf's top speed. Meanwhile the other elves in the party wake up and decide to track him down. Series of unfortunate rolls later the elves are dropped and the monk is running for his life again. He gets back to the camp where the wolf is promptly critted by the barbarians size class larger great ax. Party heals up for...
We find a small town. Sadly about half of it is on fire from a small group of goblins that are burning the place down. We hear a lone woman screaming from inside the middle building. The elven archer wins initiative and decides to rapid shot. Natural 1. The screaming stops. Natural 1. Shoots himself in the knee. Next round. Snake Eyes. Dm"Lets just assume your no longer an adventurer and your unconscious"
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It's not a newbie tale, but once we were 1st or 2nd level, my rogue and a bunch of Halfling and gnome wizards and sorcerers vs. some kobolds.
Yadda yadda yadda, everyone was bleeding out when the familiars killed all the kobolds.
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"Kazuka, I know it's your turn to GM, but could you run Carrion Crown for us? I know you're a Call of Cthulhu fan..."
One of the players still wakes up screaming from nightmares about the imagery I used, another one can't hear fiddle music without feeling a growing creeping dread, and we're pretty certain a third has a permanent case of PTSD. The fourth was diagnosed with schizophrenia about a month after the campaign ended.
That is also the last time the group has ever played Carrion Crown.
I want to run it again, but people keep citing that pesky Geneva Convention.
Fast forward to this weekend?
"Hey, I notice there's this one module we never play. How about we have Kazuka GM Carrion Cr-"
The GM leaped over the table and tackled him to shut him up.
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That means you are doing it JUST right!
"Kazuka, I know it's your turn to GM, but could you run Carrion Crown for us? I know you're a Call of Cthulhu fan..."
One of the players still wakes up screaming from nightmares about the imagery I used, another one can't hear fiddle music without feeling a growing creeping dread, and we're pretty certain a third has a permanent case of PTSD. The fourth was diagnosed with schizophrenia about a month after the campaign ended.
That is also the last time the group has ever played Carrion Crown.
I want to run it again, but people keep citing that pesky Geneva Convention.
Fast forward to this weekend?
"Hey, I notice there's this one module we never play. How about we have Kazuka GM Carrion Cr-"
The GM leaped over the table and tackled him to shut him up.
If I lived in your area I would see this as a challenge I couldn't turn down. I've made people physically ill describing gory scenes in games, or made them so nervous they jumped and screamed at sudden noises. It's so much fun.
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In the first Pathfinder campaign I played in, I played a Half-Orc Barbarian. He was a selfish brute. I eventually got tired of playing him, and the DM let me roll up a new character. I wanted to try something obscure, and he let me play a Catfolk. I had become interested in Arcane Archer, so I took levels in Ranger and started multiclassing Wizard.
At this time a new player joined us. We were in town and headed out into the forest to investigate a roar we heard. It turned out to be a green dragon. I had just become a wizard, so I didn't have a familiar yet. The new player joked about me taking the dragon as my familiar, and the DM said that if we knocked the dragon to exactly 0 hp, he'd give me a chance to make it my familiar.
In the end, the new player ended up dying his first session, and the rest of us ran away.
I was playing in a game of Slumbering Tsar, a super-lethal campaign in the vein of Rappan Athuk. Granted this sin't exactly a noobish story, but it's certainly funny. So the game hasn't been going on for to long, only about 4 sessions. However, in that time, 8 characters had died, two of them being my own. My first character, an aasimar Hellknight of the Pyre who died valiantly fighting some dort of evil dragon. My second character was a red mantis assasin who was pinned and coup de graced by an orc mercenary. As for the other 6 characters, 3 others died fighting the dragon, 2 were killed in the town inn by it's owners, and the last was smashed by a hill giant on the very first encounter. Ah, the charms of super-lethal campaigns.
Not quite n00b but a noobish mistake....
I am the DM. Party is separated and lost in the forest. Skill checks required. In 2nd ed, this meant they needed a 15+ on a d20. many rounds ensue and eventually all but one find their way. Several rounds later, this one is still lost. Eventually we discover that the player did not realize the set of dice used had a d20 with 0-9 in the main die color, and a second set of 0-9 in a second color indicating meaning to add 10. They were reading both as a number 1-10, thus failing the needed 15+.
/cevah
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There was this kid in PFS some years ago that was hard to stomach. He really really wanted that optimizer merit badge and wasn't afraid to munchkin to get it. Worse than that, he would get bored and act out at the table driving everyone nuts. One of the downsides of PFS to be sure.
Anyways, this kid shows up one weekend with his latest unstoppable force, a monk. In order to get his ultimate set up going he had to "dump CON to 7" but it would be "just fine". Well first round of combat the kid charges an orc, misses the orc, and then gets one shotted by the orc to death. I should be a little ashamed of this, but I took great satisfaction in that moment.
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I'm embarrassed that I can't remember anything specifically exciting or dumb that I did when I started roleplaying. It's been nearly 30 years, and I didn't get into tabletop RPGs until I was 35. I never went through the phase of playing with a bunch of teens or tweens, with a GM who barely knew the rules better than the players did. My first group was with a bunch of experienced players who had all been playing for at least a decade, and they walked me through the rules so I wouldn't make n00b mistakes.
But I do remember some fun stuff that happened to other players in that earliest campaign. My boyfriend (now husband) got me started, playing RuneQuest. For those not familiar with that system, RQ doesn't have classes or levels. My husband was playing a warrior type who had become a Runelord of the god Humakt - kind of like a paladin, but without the lawful good requirement (no alignment in RQ, either). One of the other players had imported a character from Palladium to RuneQuest and that character had pretty high rolls in combat too, similar to my husband's Runelord.
RQ also has something called 'divine intervention' where a PC can call on his deity to help him - any player can do it. You roll percentile dice, and if you get a certain percent (98-100 if I recall correctly) the god will intervene and give you a boost, but you may suffer a penalty afterward.
Anyway, we were involved in a difficult combat with some tough enemies, and the Runelord and the imported Palladium character both really really wanted to best their opponents. I think some of the other PCs might have been in trouble, with disabled limbs and near death, so the two powerhouse characters both called for divine intervention from their deities. Amazingly, both of them made successful rolls. Suddenly the Runelord managed to ride up to his opponent and split him like a trout (not easy to do in RQ - the game uses hit locations and hit points per body part, so he had to exceed the enemy NPC's total hit point value to kill him with one blow). The other character literally kicked her opponent's head off.
The GM described the event as being like a fireworks display with a heavenly choir singing as the two characters massacred the opposition. I think the rest of the PCs just stood there with their mouths hanging open.
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My very first game were plagued by a good for nothing, lousy DM, that was back in late 1981.
First game, he managed to TPK (new characters, 1st level, I played a half orc assassin, which just shows how mature I was to make such a choice for my very first character) with a single bugbear...
second game, I tried a cleric, priest of Thor, whom he force converted, I don't exactly remember how, to the worship of South, God of all things Meridional... needless to say, the character dumped that stupid god , got atonement, and went back to worshipping Thor as soon as I could play him with a reasonable DM, he finished his career as a lvl 9 high priest, having completed the quest for the full panoply of Gauntlets of Ogre Power, Girdle of Frost Giant Strength and Hammer of Thunderbolts... I just wish I could have played him later, but the occasion never arose.